29 May 01 -1345 Roth Army Headquarters Subject: Caption contest:  From 5-16-01 to 5-29-01 we ran a caption contest. The entries were based on humor of both descriptions of the photographs. The winner received a David Lee Roth 4 pack video courtesy of Amazon.com. The video contains rock videos for California Girls, Just a Gigolo, Goin' Crazy and Yankee Rose. Look below for the pictures and the winning caption. Thanks, Roth Army Staff Prize Pictures     Winner: VonHalen Submission:  Pic1: Who closed the fucking glass door? Pic2: That's not a beer in my pocket, I'm just happy to see ya! Unfortunate runner up: Hitch1969 Submission: Posted by hitch1969 on 05-16-2001 03:43 PM: send the prize to hitchWORLD C.O.D... Pic1: "Eddie did it." Pic2: Friends Don't Let Friends Be Alex Van Halen Entries : Posted by donkman on 05-16-2001 03:51 AM: Pic 1: Hmmmmmmm, Now should I wear a cup to 5150 to record the new album ? I think so! Pic 2: Man! Ever since Ed got off the booze, I have to drink the whole damn lot, worst part is I have to hide it to sneak it into 5150! Posted by mojo bob on 05-16-2001 04:23 AM: MAN "THAT HEDI FLICE GETS STUFF IN YOUR TEETH "Mike shows ed that a jog at the Betty Ford clinic, could be quite enjoyable" Posted by Coyote on 05-16-2001 05:30 AM: This is the reason why Alex used to be a bad-ass drummer.  Posted by Daves PA rental on 05-16-2001 09:37 AM: Photographic proof that the Van Halen brothers are selfish bastards who only care about themselves! Posted by WiseMagic on 05-16-2001 09:49 AM: Here we see the once mighty Alex Van Halen trying to get the shit taste out of his mouth after swallowing much of the VH III album... Posted by billy007 on 05-16-2001 12:03 PM: I ate that one, but I'm definitely not smiling! Submission number 2: Sh*t! Got another meeting with my brother-in-law in five minutes! Posted by hitch1969 on 05-16-2001 03:43 PM: send the prize to hitchWORLD C.O.D... Pic1: "Eddie did it." Pic2: Friends Don't Let Friends Be Alex Van Halen Posted by eieed on 05-16-2001 03:44 PM: For submission #1: Damn! I think Eddie gave me his cancer! For submission #2: Who says I have no talent? Posted by KNUCKLEBONES on 05-16-2001 03:59 PM: Pic # 1: Ughhh! Guess I should have been wearing a cup.  Pic # 2: Oh my god I better drink all this beer quick before Edward gets here to jam or the fucker will be so stoned he won't even be able to play Smoke On The Water.  Posted by kman390 on 05-16-2001 04:06 PM: 'OUCH!'....THE REAL REASON FOR THE NECKBRACE OF AVH Posted by Daves PA rental on 05-16-2001 04:08 PM: Alex Van Halen tries to numb the pain after his brother kicks David Lee Roth out of the band... Posted by EVELBEING on 05-16-2001 04:38 PM: Photo 1 Caption Trying his hardest Dave just could not get the lyrics for Why Cant This Be Love out of his mouth in rehearsals for the upcoming VH tour Photo 2 Alex proves that drummers can Multitask Posted by MeWizeMagicDan on 05-16-2001 05:03 PM: Pic #1 caption- "What do you mean I better be wearing a cup" Pic #2 caption- "Dave, have you seen my beer?" Posted by kman390 on 05-16-2001 05:29 PM: caption1: 'THATS ME, DIAMOND DAVE, JUST LEFT OF CENTER...' Posted by Mighty Mouse on 05-16-2001 05:39 PM: Pic 1: She looked 18. Pic 2: Hi, my name's Alex... Posted by Daves PA rental on 05-16-2001 05:51 PM: Picture 1. .761 seconds after Eddie bitch-slaps the grin off Daves face, backstage at the MTV awards in 1996 Picture 2. Alex: "So let me get this straight...(guzzle, guzzle)..you mean to tell me...(guzzle, guzzle)...that you kicked Dave out again...(guzzle, guzzle)...and Gary freaking CHERONE is our new singer....?(guzzle, guzzle,guzzle, guzzle)... Posted by antman on 05-16-2001 07:03 PM: I better finish these before Ed gets back Posted by PanaMark on 05-16-2001 07:28 PM: PIC1: Dont say shit about Ed, Dont say shit about Ed PIC2 I hear we might be touring again, Shit, I better start practicing !! Posted by AlbertR on 05-16-2001 07:56 PM: Pic1: "Taking baby steps is not my style" Pic2: "Alex Van Halen tries to clear the taste of Gary's man juice out of his mouth" Posted by Viking on 05-16-2001 08:06 PM: "Lessee, if Val just forced Ed to go on the wagon, he won't be needing this one....or THIS one....or THIS one.....or........." Posted by Viking on 05-16-2001 08:21 PM: I told 'em. I told 'em all. Sooner or later. I said, "You boys are gonna need me back." Man, I TOLD 'em............ Posted by PHOENIX on 05-16-2001 09:59 PM: Pic1: Daves expression after Eddie asks him to sing Van Hagar tunes on the reunion tour. Pic2: So this is where Val hid all of Ed's beer! Posted by Elvira on 05-17-2001 12:21 AM: Pic #1: If they think I'm gonna fall for that "Come on, we'll do a reunion!" crap again... Pic #2: The real reason they call the studio 5150: "5140, 5141, 5142... - Yeah guys,almost ready; I'll be there in a sec! - 5143..." Posted by Glenn on 05-17-2001 01:25 AM: Picture #1 "Fuck you!!! I won't swallow my pride, but I might just swallow my own face!" Picture #2 "Seriously, one for the road, so what if I don't count so good!" Posted by audiospectrum on 05-17-2001 07:37 AM: Pic 1 Oh shit I forgot the f**king words again!! Pic 2 The reason why free beer would last around five minutes at any Van Halen concert. Posted by blueeyedmurder on 05-17-2001 09:33 AM: Pic1:We'd like to introduce you to the new spokesperson for Super Poly-Grip...David Lee Roth. Pic2: Alex Van Halen: Single handedly testing the theory..."You can drink an ugly woman cute, but you can't drink a fat woman skinny!" Posted by fairwarning2112 on 05-17-2001 10:46 AM: #1-It was all Dave could do to not say anything after Ed says "I REALLY thought Gary would be a good fit for Van Halen" #2-"Now that Ed has quit drinking,Their mine,Mine,ALL MINE (evil laughter)" Posted by POJO_Risin on 05-17-2001 05:17 PM: Pic1: "You know, the DLR Army is better than slawterhouse." Pic2: "Dave's back in the band? Ah Shit..." Posted by madbooty on 05-17-2001 10:38 PM: PIc# 1: "Now I'm never gonna make it home by the end of the record..." PIC#2: "Alex, hide all the beer! Ronald McDonald is here and he wants his fuckin' clothes back!" Posted by I81B4U on 05-18-2001 12:09 AM: Pic 1:"Are you sure Spammy tried to sing Jump and Panama?!" Pic 2: "How come Gary gets to be in Jesus Christ Superstar?" Posted by JohnnyCash on 05-18-2001 12:53 AM: Pic1: A. Just a pinch between the cheek and gum! B. Damm Mike Ox_Longs mom tastes sour! Pic2: A.I am not going to stop Drinking till Dave comes back! B. Fuck,,,,,,,, My Wife left me again! Posted by Melein on 05-18-2001 01:09 AM: 1) oh shit man, Eddies at it again!!!! 2) ....you ain't getting my Bud Light!! Posted by Diamondator on 05-18-2001 09:35 AM: Caption 1: I knew I should have made the DLR Army my offical site! Caption 2: We're touring with Air Supply? Posted by VonHalen on 05-18-2001 10:19 AM: Pic 1 - Who closed the fucking glass door? Pic 2 - That's not a beer in my pocket, I'm just happy to see ya! Posted by I81B4U on 05-18-2001 10:19 AM: Pic 1: "Gary who?!?!?!" Pic 2: "I'll show Roth! I'm gonna drink all of his beer while he's giving my wife the backstage tour." Posted by Just Another Gigolo on 05-18-2001 10:59 AM: Picture #1: Damn, got caught again! Picture #2: I hope the beer special doesn't end soon! or... I love liquidation sales. 1) David Lee Roth, still trying to remove the staples the Van Halen brothers inserted to keep him quiet. 2) Alex Van Halen calmly contemplates life on tour without David Lee Roth. Posted by IceCreamMan812 on 05-18-2001 04:39 PM: PHOTO #1 — David Lee Roth recovers from his recent surgery whereby he donated a portion of his tongue to cancer-stricken bandmate, Edward Van Halen. Despite Mr. Roth’s sacrifice, fans are convinced he still sounds better than former singer Gary Cherone. Edward continues to make progress with the new tongue during physical therapy. In fact, Mrs. Van Halen — actress Valerie Bertinelli — has reportedly said, "OHHHH, EDDIEEEE!! THAT’S THE SPOT!! YEAH!! IT FEELS JUST LIKE WHEN YOU WERE OUT OF TOWN FOR THE 5150 TOUR … er, I mean — DON’T STOP!!" PHOTO #2 — With Edward Van Halen clean and sober, brother Alex (above), shows his commitment to maintaining the band’s party lifestyle. In a related story, profits at Anheuser-Busch are at an all-time high. Posted by Weeksy Lee Roth on 05-18-2001 11:56 PM: here's a good one of diamond dave, taken from the back of the Van Halen 2 album Posted by WiseMagic on 05-20-2001 12:57 PM: For picture caption #1: After rumored affairs with both of the Van Halen brothers current/past wives,lead singer "Diamond" David Lee Roth can only reply, "Taste like chicken...." Caption #2: Here we see the once powerfull drummer Alex Van Halen trying desperatly to get the shit taste 'outta his mouth after repeated failed attempts by his brother Eddie to replace David Lee Roth... Posted by MeWizeMagicDan on 05-20-2001 07:36 PM: PIC 1 WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE WALDO????? PIC 2 DINNER WITH ED AND VAL AGAIN?????? KEEP EM COMMING!!!!!!!! Posted by mojo bob on 05-21-2001 06:05 AM: Pic 1 : Shock Pic Shows Dave in Orgasmic Moment Pic2 : New Show Sponsors means Alex "can't get enough of that Duff" Posted by Bong Hit on 05-21-2001 11:10 PM: Pic1: "I guess there is life after Vegas...!" Pic2: "GULP.......GUKCUGUCKGUCKGUC.....ME DRUM NOW???? NOT YET???? OKAY...........GUCKNKUUGKNKBKKC gulp gulp gulp!" Posted by sletti on 05-23-2001 09:19 AM: Pic1: When you're down on your luck, don't get cheap iron fillings; you never know when you're gonna drive past a magnet factory!! Posted by jimblob on 05-27-2001 02:05 PM: Pic of Dave: I'm old, gimme gimme gimme! Pic of Alex: "The Doctor said, I have to take Alex-drink-it!" Posted by Elvira on 05-28-2001 01:36 AM: Pic #1... "Well, the Vegas haircut has to grow out sooner or later...." To email the article you just read above to someone else {click here} .

To email the article you just read above to someone else {click here}