The Great Debate

[Lqskdiver]

Ok, it's been a while since I've posted, but since my career took off I honestly don't have time, particularly during the day. But this occured to me the other day: FORD, Jesus, and Satan have never actually addressed each other!! What are the odds!!

So I propose an introduction followed by a debate where the these three members actually talk to each and address each others views from questions posed the members of this board and forum. Now granted, it has been "speculated" that FORD is actually these alter-egos. But I feel this will put this debate to rest.

The rules are simple: Each member will be asked a question by a member who may choose to address whomever he wants. Once that question is answered, we move on to the next question. Only here, all three "candidates" can and is encouraged to address each other. We hope to come out of this understanding the positions of these fellow Army members. (And at the same time, quite possible, cause a schizoid embolism :D)

So without further ado, I LQ, as your host and commentator for this debate will begin by saying I'd like to welcome all three into this thread and see if they have any opposing views they would like to discuss. I mean, hey, it's Lucifer and Jesus, there's gotta be a some differences!

Let the debate begin!

[Dr. Love]

I've actually seen Jesus and FORD chatting in an old thread on DDLR, I believe.

[FORD]

I'm in.

[Satan]

Sure, what the HELL?

But I don't expect we'll hear from JC tonight. It's after Sundown on Friday, ya know.

[Lqskdiver]

I don't know what's more pathetic than me or Satan home on a Friday night. :(

Ok...we're just lacking one more member and we await for His Holiness' Arrival.

Deities and their grand entrances. :rolleyes:

Stay tuned!

[Satan]

Originally posted by Lqskdiver
I don't know what's more pathetic than me or Satan home on a Friday night. :(


Are you kidding? No better place to be on a Friday evilning than beautiful downtown Sin City Hell! :cool:


Ok...we're just lacking one more member and we await for His Holiness' Arrival.

Deities and their grand entrances. :rolleyes:

Stay tuned!

Like I said, JC's a good Jewish boy, and you aren't likely to see Him on the Sabbath. We might want to try this later.

[ELVIS]

You can't pull out your Jesus puppet on friday night ??

Give me a break...:rolleyes:

C'mon dude, give us a laugh...

[Satan]

You would ask the Messiah to work on the Sabbath??

To break one of his Daddy's own top 10 rules??

Guess I better get that fire pit ready for you after all ;)

[McCarrens]

Everyone, Ford has a serious mental illness. That, or he is just a lonely little man who likes to get attention online by coming up with all these wild theories and multiple personalities.

Either way, we shouldn't come up with threads like to support whichever issue Ford's mind has been infected with.

(And, yes, I'm aware of the irony of my posting on this kind of thread saying these things).

[ELVIS]

Your biggest problem FORD, is that you take yourself way too seriously...

..and don't give me no thou shall not judge bullshit either...


It's nothing more that constrictive criticizism, from one friend to another...;)


Excuse my use of the word 'bullshit', as I try not to use foul language, even on the internet...

That's another area you could work on buddy, especially in thread titles...

Frequently I'm playing on these forums at some of my christian brothers and sisters homes, only to see you post the 'F' word in a title...

Not cool!


:elvis:

[Satan]

FORD does take him self too seriously.....

Now. me on the other horn.... I'm 666% pure unholy fun :cool:

And if bad words offend your church friends, I hope you aren't surfing any Dick Cheney pages at their place.

[HELLVIS]

Originally posted by ELVIS
Your biggest problem FORD, is that you take yourself way too seriously...

..and don't give me no thou shall not judge bullshit either...


It's nothing more that constrictive criticizism, from one friend to another...;)


Excuse my use of the word 'bullshit', as I try not to use foul language, even on the internet...

That's another area you could work on buddy, especially in thread titles...

Frequently I'm playing on these forums at some of my christian brothers and sisters homes, only to see you post the 'F' word in a title...

Not cool!


:elvis:

Actually, I could stand to clean up my act as well. I'll do my best ELVIS.

[ELVIS]

Haha.. Good man!

A clean tongue commands a certain amount of respect...

That foul mouth crap is a sign of ignorance...

[FORD]

Originally posted by ELVIS
Haha.. Good man!

A clean tongue commands a certain amount of respect...

That foul mouth crap is a sign of ignorance... http://www.pbs.org/newshour/election2000/images/cheney_speech.jpg
Elvis, go fuck yourself!!

[smaz]

Just look to see if there all online at the same time. You can only log in with one username at anytime on the site can't you?

[Lqskdiver]

Ahh, smaz, I don't know your level of tech knowledge, but there are ways around it. ;) As I'm sure Dave has displayed once or twice, most likely at the office.

Now back to this debate....Elvis, YOU also take FORD too seriously, dude. You gotta step back and laugh at the method to his madness. It's the only way you can remain safe in knowing you ain't crazy.

Oh, and McCarren, this thread is more of a therapedic use, a cyber electric shock so to say. If we are to "exorcize" these personalities from FORD, he must be made to confront them and quite possibly actively engage them in conversation. Only then can we determine who the dominant personality is. Just call me Sigmuend Fucking Freud!!

Well, tomorrow we can have our first session, err, I mean debate. If all agree to it. I will conduct the question and answer to the three candidates. The rules are simple:

1. In order to keep this thing civil, only I can ask the candidates the questions.

2. During the answer part each candidate will have an opportunity to respond to the question.

3. If at any point, the candidates feels the need to address the other, IT IS HIGHLY ENCOURAGED.

4. Other members of the forum can comment during the q & a, but they are not allowed to confront the candidates.

That's it...relatively simple. Now, this debate will kick off tomorrow night at 8 pm Eastern. (For those of you in the pacific you might not catch it, but instead might catch the World Series....just kidding.) It will be held over a three night period and will include general topics dealing with foreign policy, domestic issues, and the current war. And please, there is no need to mention that Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbian. We know, as it has been the topic for last week and last night's skit on SNL.

Note:
You might ask why I chose tomorrow night instead of the morning or afternoon when these forums are more active...well, like I said, my profession does not allow me the time to partake in these threads during the day. I'm too busy being a PRODUCTIVE REPUBLICAN! ;)

Besides...I'M NOTHING BUT PRIME TIME, BABY!!

:D

So, if everyone will agree to the rules, tomorrow night we can begin this HISTORIC event and hopefully learn more about what makes a liberal tick.

[McCarrens]

Originally posted by Lqskdiver



Oh, and McCarren, this thread is more of a therapedic use, a cyber electric shock so to say. If we are to "exorcize" these personalities from FORD, he must be made to confront them and quite possibly actively engage them in conversation. Only then can we determine who the dominant personality is. Just call me Sigmuend Fucking Freud!!

True, true...

[Lqskdiver]

Oh, yeah, in the meantime I will be soliciting advertiser's for air time during the debates. Hey, I wouldn't be a Republican if I wasn't profiting from these debates. My skills know no known bounds!!

I got Kellogg, Brown and Root (KBR) interested in doing a couple of spots already. Incidently, they are also subsidiaries of Haliburton. :D

[Lqskdiver]

We still await His Holiness' appearance and agreement to this debate. I'm sure he's an early riser and all, so I should expect to hear from him tomorrow. ;)

[ODShowtime]

Originally posted by McCarrens
Everyone, Ford has a serious mental illness. That, or he is just a lonely little man who likes to get attention online by coming up with all these wild theories and multiple personalities.

I love how you guys get all proud of yourselves for figuring out FORD's aliases. Like you're all a bunch of fucking Perry Masons or something.

Did you ever think maybe it's just a fun and different thing to do to stir up the pot?

[McCarrens]

Originally posted by ODShowtime
I love how you guys get all proud of yourselves for figuring out FORD's aliases. Like you're all a bunch of fucking Perry Masons or something.

Did you ever think maybe it's just a fun and different thing to do to stir up the pot?

With that attitude, he's never going to get any better.

[Jesus Christ]

Good morning, My children :)

The Savior is "in da house" as the modern poets of thy streets would say.

[Lqskdiver]

Well, we ran late because of FEAR FACTOR...hey, Rogan Rules!

So, let's get started!!

There is no time limit to answer this question as I realize, it might be difficult to get all participants in here at the same time. Studio audience feel free to comment, but you cannot talk to the participant during the debate.

So, here is the first question. The topic is foreign affairs and the order of answering will be Satan, FORD, then the Almighty. And to answer your question...yes, I am biased!


"Satan, recently, it was announcede that Ariel Sharon, a hardline Likud party member, is proposing that Jewish settlers relocate from the Gaza strip in order to further the peace process.

Do believe Sharon has the best intentions on retreating from the Gaza strip and if so, what can he do that the late Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin could not...besides not getting killed."

[Satan]

Originally posted by Lqskdiver
!


"Satan, recently, it was announcede that Ariel Sharon, a hardline Likud party member, is proposing that Jewish settlers relocate from the Gaza strip in order to further the peace process.

Do believe Sharon has the best intentions on retreating from the Gaza strip and if so, what can he do that the late Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin could not...besides not getting killed."

First of all, I don't believe Sharon has any real intentions of retreating from Gaza. It's a trick. That fucker's so sneaky I almost respect him. But I still have his eternal destination ready for him :D

Look for Sharon & Mossad to use their Hamas puppets to create such a mess over there that the IDF will just HAVE to stick around.... uh, strictly in the interests of "peace", naturally.

[FORD]

I agree with Satan that there will be no peace possible with Sharon in charge, but I share no admiration for his sneakiness.

The man is a murdering butchering terrorist shitball, period.

[HELLVIS]

Originally posted by FORD
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/election2000/images/cheney_speech.jpg
Elvis, go fuck yourself!!

Shame shame.

[Jesus Christ]

Zechariah 12
1 The burden of the word of the LORD for Israel, saith the LORD, which stretcheth forth the heavens, and layeth the foundation of the earth, and formeth the spirit of man within him.
2 Behold, I will make Jerusalem a cup of trembling unto all the people round about, when they shall be in the siege both against Judah and against Jerusalem.
3 And in that day will I make Jerusalem a burdensome stone for all people: all that burden themselves with it shall be cut in pieces, though all the people of the earth be gathered together against it.
4 In that day, saith the LORD, I will smite every horse with astonishment, and his rider with madness: and I will open mine eyes upon the house of Judah, and will smite every horse of the people with blindness.
5 And the governors of Judah shall say in their heart, The inhabitants of Jerusalem shall be my strength in the LORD of hosts their God.
6 In that day will I make the governors of Judah like an hearth of fire among the wood, and like a torch of fire in a sheaf; and they shall devour all the people round about, on the right hand and on the left: and Jerusalem shall be inhabited again in her own place, even in Jerusalem.
7 The LORD also shall save the tents of Judah first, that the glory of the house of David and the glory of the inhabitants of Jerusalem do not magnify themselves against Judah.
8 In that day shall the LORD defend the inhabitants of Jerusalem; and he that is feeble among them at that day shall be as David; and the house of David shall be as God, as the angel of the LORD before them.
9 And it shall come to pass in that day, that I will seek to destroy all the nations that come against Jerusalem.
10 And I will pour upon the house of David, and upon the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the spirit of grace and of supplications: and they shall look upon Me whom they have pierced, and they shall mourn for him, as one mourneth for his only son, and shall be in bitterness for him, as one that is in bitterness for his firstborn.
11 In that day shall there be a great mourning in Jerusalem, as the mourning of Hadadrimmon in the valley of Megiddon.
12 And the land shall mourn, every family apart; the family of the house of David apart, and their wives apart; the family of the house of Nathan apart, and their wives apart;
13 The family of the house of Levi apart, and their wives apart; the family of Shimei apart, and their wives apart;
14 All the families that remain, every family apart, and their wives apart.

[ELVIS]

Yeah...

FORD likes to pretend he's a christian too...

[Jesus Christ]

Originally posted by ELVIS
Yeah...

FORD likes to pretend he's a christian too...

Gregory, thou art judging again :rolleyes:

[Lqskdiver]

Satan, how do you feel about JC's response and do you feel you would benefit from this mentality?






:D

[Satan]

Originally posted by Lqskdiver
Satan, how do you feel about JC's response and do you feel you would benefit from this mentality?
:D

Benefit from His mentality??

Dude, I'M THE DEVIL!!

If I was to assume JC's mentality, I'd be out of business :(

As for His response, I know all about the Big Plan that his Daddy has but unholy shit, can't you describe it in 20 words or less? :rolleyes:

[Lqskdiver]

JC, you have 30 seconds to respond and we ask that you limit quoting the scriptures.

[Jesus Christ]

It is written that ye shall serve only the Lord thy God. Do not suffer the Devil unto control of thy life.

[Lqskdiver]

JC, who do feel should reside on your old stomping grounds?

FORD, same question...

[Jesus Christ]

Originally posted by Lqskdiver
JC, who do feel should reside on your old stomping grounds?



My Father made a promise unto Abraham that he would be the father of many nations, and that those nations would inhabit this land from the Nile to the Euphrates.

Where My people the Jews maketh a mistake is in assuming that promise was made unto Isaac, when this is not the case. For when Dad sayeth this unto Abraham, he hath no children.

And verily, this promise was meant for both the descendents of Isaac, who became the Jews and the descendants of Ishmael, who became the Arabs.

[FORD]

Originally posted by Lqskdiver


FORD, same question...

I agree with My Lord and Savior. God's promise to Abraham was meant for any descendants he would have. At the time, God knew Abe would have two sons, but Abe had know way of knowing that.

[Lqskdiver]

And for the final question (FORD, SATAN, JC):

With the current admission by the UN that it would be unable to cope with violence in Darfur (see below) and threatens to impose sanctions that Senator Kerry himself admitted in debate 3 that they do not work, do you feel that we reserve the right to unilaterism when confronting the problem states in this world that harbor terrorism?


============================================

U.N. Warns Cannot Cope if Darfur Violence Continues

Wed, Oct 06, 2004 World - Reuters


By Opheera McDoom

KHARTOUM (Reuters) - The United Nations (news - web sites) warned on Wednesday it would not be able to cope if conditions do not improve in Sudan's Darfur region, devastated by violence which has driven more than 1.5 million from their homes.


U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan (news - web sites) said earlier this week Sudan had made no progress in the last month to stop the violence, maintain a shaky cease-fire signed in April, or punish those responsible for the fighting. The United States has branded the violence genocide and blames Khartoum and militias.


"We've been receiving reports after reports of clashes, cease-fire breaches ... and so on. So the security situation did not improve," said Radhia Achouri, spokeswoman for the U.N. advanced mission in Sudan.


She said the trend of increasing numbers of displaced by violence in Darfur could soon reach a total of one-third of Darfur's six million population being affected by the conflict, saying that was "terrible."


"If the situation continues like this we cannot keep up with this. We cannot keep up with the level of needs," she told reporters in Khartoum. The U.N. has said it has received just a little over half the required funds to meet the needs of the 1.5 million displaced in Darfur. More than 200,000 have also fled to neighboring Chad, encamped in the desolate eastern desert.


Britain's Tony Blair (news - web sites) warned Sudan on Wednesday the international community would not rest until violence ended in Darfur and a comprehensive peace deal was struck across the whole country.


"The fact that I have come is, I hope, an indication of the seriousness with which we take the situation," he told reporters after meeting Sudan's President Omar Hassan al-Bashir and other officials on a short visit to the country.


CEASE-FIRE MONITORS


The World Food Program said in a statement it fed more people in Darfur than its target in September as rains subsided, making roads more passable in the area the size of France. It reached 1.3 million people, the largest food distribution since the crisis began.


Sudanese Foreign Minister Mustafa Osman Ismail told reporters he did not agree with everything in Annan's report but that the government had agreed to welcome more African Union cease-fire monitors, with an expanded mandate.


Rebels took up arms last year, accusing the government of neglect and of using mounted Arab militias, known as Janjaweed, to loot and burn non-Arab villages in a campaign of ethnic cleansing. Khartoum admits arming some militias to fight the rebels but denies links to the Janjaweed, calling them outlaws.


Achouri said a climate of impunity was still felt in Darfur, saying the government had arrested just petty criminals and not those responsible for human rights atrocities.


The head of the African Union monitoring mission in Darfur has said there have been at least 20 confirmed violations of the April cease-fire and blamed both sides.


Achouri said the government should also take action against those in the armed forces who violated the truce.


While the U.N. said many of the recent insecurities in Darfur were because of attacks by bandits, Achouri said the government was still responsible.


"The responsibility for protection, securing the roads, putting a stop to the banditry phenomenon ... all this is the responsibility of the government," she said. "If the situation did not improve this means that the government did not do enough about the situation."


Achouri said the security situation in Darfur had not deteriorated as some aid agencies were reporting, but it had not improved either, which was extremely worrying.





(Additional reporting by Andrew Cawthorne)

[FORD]

Obviously the BCE/PNAC have no interest in dealing with this problem, since the Sudan isn't known for huge oil reserves, and it's of no strategic importance to the Likudifascists.

Under the Kerry administration, I could see a humanitarian mission to the Sudan happening.

[Satan]

The situation in central Africa troubles the Devil greatly. Mostly because it's making my construction costs rise far too quickly.

[Jesus Christ]

Matthew 25

31 When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory:
32 And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats:
33 And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.
34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:
42 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:
43 I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.
44 Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?
45 Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.
46 And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

[Lqskdiver]

Originally posted by Jesus Christ
Matthew 25

31 When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory:
32 And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats:
33 And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.
34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:
42 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat:.........


I'm sorry JC we are out of time.

I'd like to thank JC, SATAN, and FORD for participating in today's debates and we ask that they join us again on Wed where the topic will be domestic issues.

Don't forget to visit our totally unbiasedpoll (http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=12267) and vote for whom you believe won this debate tonight.