POJO_Risin
10-30-2004, 05:33 PM
Alright...whenever the fuck I feel like it...I'm going to run with a commentary about something godawful stupid I've heard...and last night takes the cake...
I'm sitting in a bar last night with Ernie, a Boston fan, and Bill, a Cubs fan. And yeah, it didn't pass me that the Boston fan had the first name of the great Ernie Banks...and the Cubs fan the name of the infamous Bill Buckner...but that's for the other article. So were sitting at the bar...drinking our first beer, and finally, Ernie shouts out...MY YEARS OF PAIN ARE OVER. Now...realize...this is halfway through beer 1...and I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about. so I ask..."What the fuck are you talking about?" His response of course was..."86 years of pain are over...86 years of fucking PAIN GONE! I couldn't have lived another year without a title. If they would have lost this one...that would have been it for me and Baseball." Of course, I know this same phrased has been uttered by millions of Bostonians for the better part of the last century. Bill, of course, can hardly contain himself..."FUCK YOU...YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT PAIN IS. TRY 96 FUCKING YEARS YOU FUCKER...AND COUNTING!"
Boston Ernie just couldn't stand it. "Dude, this is Boston we're talking about. We lost Ruth, we turned down Gerhig, we couldn't do it for Yaz or Williams or Rice or Clemens! WE WERE AN OUT AWAY...UNTIL BILL FUCKING BUCKNER DROPPED THAT BALL...YOU DON'T KNOW PAIN!"
I took another swig and ordered us all another round of beer.
Chicago Bill quickly responded...."1. You just won a fucking series...you've at least been close in some years...AND IT'S NEARLY BEEN A CENTURY! THE LAST TIME WE WON THE SERIES, HONUS WAGNER, NAP LAJOIE AND TY COBB WERE BUSY TRYING TO CLEAT EACH OTHER! Tinkers to Evers to Chance was the damn #1 single! 100 FUCKING YEARS! I can't take this anymore...I'll never see another game again. I hope Boston rots in hell..."
I quickly realized at this point...both were staring at me. I quickly slammed my beer...ordered another round...lit a smoke...and decided to throw my hat into the ring...
"Okay gentleman...you both have made your case...I understand your pain very well...as I, myself was only an out away from a title in 1997, and had to endure the pain of losing a world series to the Braves...yes...their only series..."
Both quickly interceded..."THE INDIANS...THE INDIANS!!!! YOU ARE INSANE YOU STUPID BASTARD..." They literally said this in unison..."The Indians WON IN 1948...THAT'S ONLY WHAT...56 YEARS...GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK...WE WERE BOTH OVER 75 YEARS IN WAITING BEFORE THIS YEAR..." Again...both said this together....I ignored and continued...
"I think I have felt more pain than both of you...here me out..."
I squelched their screams with a double shot of jack, and a tequila chaser...
"The Cubs...they have surely felt pain...just in the sheer longetivity of it all...96 years...good god that's a long time...they haven't been in a series since 1945...and only been in the playoffs 4 times since then, and never with a real shot at winning it all....and let's face facts...there really must be something against them...last year proved that..."
"You see!...YOU SEE!" shouted Chicago Bill..."I've felt the most pain. 96 years...96 YEARS...I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN A SERIES SINCE 1945!"
"Yes Bill...96 years and 59 since even an appearance in the big dance...you certainly have some cred. After this year, I'd even say you had more cred than the Sox since they one it all!"
I took another swig...knowing this comment wouldn't go un touched...
"What? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! SO FUCKING WHAT IF WE WON IT ALL THIS YEAR...THE CURSE...THE FUCKING CURSE!"
"Okay...okay...Ernie...you certainly have felt pain as well. You blew it with Babe...he was a great pitcher...and a great hitter obviously...and you sold him...then turned down Gehrig a couple of years later because New York felt bad that they shafted you for Ruth. You turned that one down because you didn't trust them..."
"You SEE!"
"Yes, Boston Ernie, I see, and there's more too," I said. "You had been in four world series since then...all game 7 losses! In 1946...you lost 4-3 in game 7 to the St. Louis Cardinals...in Teddy Ballgame's only real shot at a title! In 1967 you lost 4-3 in game 7 to those same Cardinals...and you were up 3-0 on freakin' Bob Gibson. He had the last laugh though...going 3-0 against you...and winning that game 7. You lost in 1986 of course...after blowing game 6...in game 7. Ooops...I forgot 1975...a game 7 loss to Cincinnati...sorry..."
"Ahhh...all those years...so close...yet so far...and you didn't even mention the evil New York Yankees...that kept us in second I don't know how many times..." said an ever drunker Boston Ernie. "Yeah, we won this year...but surely all of those close calls were much more painful than never tasting it...like those fucking Cubs...and the Indians...YOU DON'T KNOW PAIN!"
I quickly downed a shot of Blackberry Schnapps...chased it with some Pabst Blue Ribbon...and quickly bought a Heinekin...
"Okay...I've given you both your props...now let me say my piece. Cleveland won it all in 1948...and beat the Sox in a 1 game playoff to get there..."
"YOU SEE...YOU SEE!!!" Shouted Boston Ernie...
"Shut the fuck up..." I muttered back...."you've had your time in your life to whine about your fucking curse, now shut the fuck up to some real pain..."
He bought me a shot of Cuervo...wrote NO WAY on the napkin...and passed it over...
"As I was saying...We won in 1948...then...in a resounding way...set a modern day record in wins in 1954...only to get swept by the Giants because of that rat bastard Mays' and his stupid ass catch...After 1960...we traded Rocky Colavito...and we didn't CONTEND FOR 35 YEARS...one third place finish...ONE THIRD PLACE FINISH...nothing else even close. 1994...1 game out of first...catching the White Sox...the season is cancelled. 1995...Atlanta wins all 4 games they win by 1 fucking run. 1997...one out away...ONE OUT AWAY...JOSE FUCKING MESA...and that was really it. Now we're back to sucking again..."
"C'MON YOU IDIOT..." They both said in unison again (I noticed the more drunk they got...the more together they were! "THAT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE. 50-SOME YEARS?"
"Just out of curiousity gentleman...how old are you?"
"31..." Said Boston Ernie...
"30..." Said Chicago Bill...
"So spare me the fucking 96 and the 86 year bullshit...I'm 33...I have you both by a couple of years..."
And so goes the truth of baseball pains...spare me the crap about how long some of you have felt the pain...hell...there are 1 year olds right now bitching about the Marlins not having won in their lifetime...
Pain is in the eye in the beholder...and hell...next year starts the curse of Pedro...
I'm sitting in a bar last night with Ernie, a Boston fan, and Bill, a Cubs fan. And yeah, it didn't pass me that the Boston fan had the first name of the great Ernie Banks...and the Cubs fan the name of the infamous Bill Buckner...but that's for the other article. So were sitting at the bar...drinking our first beer, and finally, Ernie shouts out...MY YEARS OF PAIN ARE OVER. Now...realize...this is halfway through beer 1...and I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about. so I ask..."What the fuck are you talking about?" His response of course was..."86 years of pain are over...86 years of fucking PAIN GONE! I couldn't have lived another year without a title. If they would have lost this one...that would have been it for me and Baseball." Of course, I know this same phrased has been uttered by millions of Bostonians for the better part of the last century. Bill, of course, can hardly contain himself..."FUCK YOU...YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT PAIN IS. TRY 96 FUCKING YEARS YOU FUCKER...AND COUNTING!"
Boston Ernie just couldn't stand it. "Dude, this is Boston we're talking about. We lost Ruth, we turned down Gerhig, we couldn't do it for Yaz or Williams or Rice or Clemens! WE WERE AN OUT AWAY...UNTIL BILL FUCKING BUCKNER DROPPED THAT BALL...YOU DON'T KNOW PAIN!"
I took another swig and ordered us all another round of beer.
Chicago Bill quickly responded...."1. You just won a fucking series...you've at least been close in some years...AND IT'S NEARLY BEEN A CENTURY! THE LAST TIME WE WON THE SERIES, HONUS WAGNER, NAP LAJOIE AND TY COBB WERE BUSY TRYING TO CLEAT EACH OTHER! Tinkers to Evers to Chance was the damn #1 single! 100 FUCKING YEARS! I can't take this anymore...I'll never see another game again. I hope Boston rots in hell..."
I quickly realized at this point...both were staring at me. I quickly slammed my beer...ordered another round...lit a smoke...and decided to throw my hat into the ring...
"Okay gentleman...you both have made your case...I understand your pain very well...as I, myself was only an out away from a title in 1997, and had to endure the pain of losing a world series to the Braves...yes...their only series..."
Both quickly interceded..."THE INDIANS...THE INDIANS!!!! YOU ARE INSANE YOU STUPID BASTARD..." They literally said this in unison..."The Indians WON IN 1948...THAT'S ONLY WHAT...56 YEARS...GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK...WE WERE BOTH OVER 75 YEARS IN WAITING BEFORE THIS YEAR..." Again...both said this together....I ignored and continued...
"I think I have felt more pain than both of you...here me out..."
I squelched their screams with a double shot of jack, and a tequila chaser...
"The Cubs...they have surely felt pain...just in the sheer longetivity of it all...96 years...good god that's a long time...they haven't been in a series since 1945...and only been in the playoffs 4 times since then, and never with a real shot at winning it all....and let's face facts...there really must be something against them...last year proved that..."
"You see!...YOU SEE!" shouted Chicago Bill..."I've felt the most pain. 96 years...96 YEARS...I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN A SERIES SINCE 1945!"
"Yes Bill...96 years and 59 since even an appearance in the big dance...you certainly have some cred. After this year, I'd even say you had more cred than the Sox since they one it all!"
I took another swig...knowing this comment wouldn't go un touched...
"What? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! SO FUCKING WHAT IF WE WON IT ALL THIS YEAR...THE CURSE...THE FUCKING CURSE!"
"Okay...okay...Ernie...you certainly have felt pain as well. You blew it with Babe...he was a great pitcher...and a great hitter obviously...and you sold him...then turned down Gehrig a couple of years later because New York felt bad that they shafted you for Ruth. You turned that one down because you didn't trust them..."
"You SEE!"
"Yes, Boston Ernie, I see, and there's more too," I said. "You had been in four world series since then...all game 7 losses! In 1946...you lost 4-3 in game 7 to the St. Louis Cardinals...in Teddy Ballgame's only real shot at a title! In 1967 you lost 4-3 in game 7 to those same Cardinals...and you were up 3-0 on freakin' Bob Gibson. He had the last laugh though...going 3-0 against you...and winning that game 7. You lost in 1986 of course...after blowing game 6...in game 7. Ooops...I forgot 1975...a game 7 loss to Cincinnati...sorry..."
"Ahhh...all those years...so close...yet so far...and you didn't even mention the evil New York Yankees...that kept us in second I don't know how many times..." said an ever drunker Boston Ernie. "Yeah, we won this year...but surely all of those close calls were much more painful than never tasting it...like those fucking Cubs...and the Indians...YOU DON'T KNOW PAIN!"
I quickly downed a shot of Blackberry Schnapps...chased it with some Pabst Blue Ribbon...and quickly bought a Heinekin...
"Okay...I've given you both your props...now let me say my piece. Cleveland won it all in 1948...and beat the Sox in a 1 game playoff to get there..."
"YOU SEE...YOU SEE!!!" Shouted Boston Ernie...
"Shut the fuck up..." I muttered back...."you've had your time in your life to whine about your fucking curse, now shut the fuck up to some real pain..."
He bought me a shot of Cuervo...wrote NO WAY on the napkin...and passed it over...
"As I was saying...We won in 1948...then...in a resounding way...set a modern day record in wins in 1954...only to get swept by the Giants because of that rat bastard Mays' and his stupid ass catch...After 1960...we traded Rocky Colavito...and we didn't CONTEND FOR 35 YEARS...one third place finish...ONE THIRD PLACE FINISH...nothing else even close. 1994...1 game out of first...catching the White Sox...the season is cancelled. 1995...Atlanta wins all 4 games they win by 1 fucking run. 1997...one out away...ONE OUT AWAY...JOSE FUCKING MESA...and that was really it. Now we're back to sucking again..."
"C'MON YOU IDIOT..." They both said in unison again (I noticed the more drunk they got...the more together they were! "THAT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE. 50-SOME YEARS?"
"Just out of curiousity gentleman...how old are you?"
"31..." Said Boston Ernie...
"30..." Said Chicago Bill...
"So spare me the fucking 96 and the 86 year bullshit...I'm 33...I have you both by a couple of years..."
And so goes the truth of baseball pains...spare me the crap about how long some of you have felt the pain...hell...there are 1 year olds right now bitching about the Marlins not having won in their lifetime...
Pain is in the eye in the beholder...and hell...next year starts the curse of Pedro...