PDA

View Full Version : LOL...Only in San Francisco Baby!



Mezro
12-16-2004, 04:22 PM
A great story I just read today:

I grew up in San Francisco. Moved out several years ago due to all the ridiculous changes, taxes and unbelieveably undesireable political atmosphere.

Here's one of the reasons which has made HATE San Francisco:

About 18 years ago I was riding the 30 Stockton bus heading downtown, standing room only (as usual). I am tall, so I could see over the largely (probably 95%) asian population inside the bus, who all seemed to be hacking their lungs out without covering their mouths (nice).

So we stop at Sacramento Street (just before the tunnel), and a whole group of people want to push on to the bus. Everybody at the stop manages to squeeze in when there is a bit of a commotion at the front.

An old Chinese lady (I am assuming she was Chinese) was holding in her hand a live chicken. She was holding it by the feet and, as a chicken in such a situation would do, this particular chicken was squawking up a storm.

The bus driver (a large African-American gentleman; this was back before a majority of the drivers became asian) was standing up, pointing at the squawking chicken, telling the lady, "Hey! You can't come on the bus with a live chicken!"

Anyone who believes the Chinese people (or asian people) in San Francisco cannot understand english is completely naive. They understand. Oh yes they do.

This old lady locks her gaze squarely with the driver, and after seeming to study him for a moment, lifts the squawking chicken and suddenly swings it with all her might >SMACK!< in to the side of the bus.

Dead ... silence.

Not a single person spoke, or moved, or even breathed. We all heard it, and most of us saw it. I could see the blood dripping gently from the chicken's head.

And then, gathering up all of her pride, the old Chinese woman stepped on to the bus, directly under the gaping jaw of the bus driver, and took her place standing at the front of the bus next to the rest of the crowd (which although space-limited gave her a wide berth) WITH A DEAD, BLEEDING CHICKEN IN HER HAND.

The bus driver sat down and closed the door, and the entire bus-load of horrified people were soon on their way.

DO NOT MESS WITH THE OLD CHINESE WOMEN!

This is a true story. I have told a lot of people this story over the years. If you heard it from someone, I am the guy who saw it actually happen.

Mezro...welcome to my world kids...don't forget to beat your chicken...

ALinChainz
12-16-2004, 04:27 PM
LMAO ... too fucking funny.

Like the teacher in school telling you to get rid of the gum and you swallow it instead of throwing it away.

Lucky she didn't start plucking the damn thing.

Carmine
12-16-2004, 04:27 PM
Originally posted by Mezro
A great story I just read today:

I grew up in San Francisco. Moved out several years ago due to all the ridiculous changes, taxes and unbelieveably undesireable political atmosphere.

Here's one of the reasons which has made HATE San Francisco:

About 18 years ago I was riding the 30 Stockton bus heading downtown, standing room only (as usual). I am tall, so I could see over the largely (probably 95%) asian population inside the bus, who all seemed to be hacking their lungs out without covering their mouths (nice).

So we stop at Sacramento Street (just before the tunnel), and a whole group of people want to push on to the bus. Everybody at the stop manages to squeeze in when there is a bit of a commotion at the front.

An old Chinese lady (I am assuming she was Chinese) was holding in her hand a live chicken. She was holding it by the feet and, as a chicken in such a situation would do, this particular chicken was squawking up a storm.

The bus driver (a large African-American gentleman; this was back before a majority of the drivers became asian) was standing up, pointing at the squawking chicken, telling the lady, "Hey! You can't come on the bus with a live chicken!"

Anyone who believes the Chinese people (or asian people) in San Francisco cannot understand english is completely naive. They understand. Oh yes they do.

This old lady locks her gaze squarely with the driver, and after seeming to study him for a moment, lifts the squawking chicken and suddenly swings it with all her might >SMACK!< in to the side of the bus.

Dead ... silence.

Not a single person spoke, or moved, or even breathed. We all heard it, and most of us saw it. I could see the blood dripping gently from the chicken's head.

And then, gathering up all of her pride, the old Chinese woman stepped on to the bus, directly under the gaping jaw of the bus driver, and took her place standing at the front of the bus next to the rest of the crowd (which although space-limited gave her a wide berth) WITH A DEAD, BLEEDING CHICKEN IN HER HAND.

The bus driver sat down and closed the door, and the entire bus-load of horrified people were soon on their way.

DO NOT MESS WITH THE OLD CHINESE WOMEN!

This is a true story. I have told a lot of people this story over the years. If you heard it from someone, I am the guy who saw it actually happen.

Mezro...welcome to my world kids...don't forget to beat your chicken...

Holy shit....and thanks for the gentle reminder about beating our chicken! LOL!

ALinChainz
12-16-2004, 04:29 PM
lol

More humane than choking?

Carmine
12-16-2004, 04:35 PM
Originally posted by ALinChainz
lol

More humane than choking?

yeah, gets right to the point!:D

Mezro
12-16-2004, 05:14 PM
If I was on that bus I would have whipped out my chicken and beat it against the side of the Chinese woman.

Mezro...I smell dim sum...

ODShowtime
12-16-2004, 06:23 PM
not bad. I give it a 7 :)

Ozzy Fudd
12-16-2004, 08:28 PM
LMMFAO
thanks for the laugh i needed it Heres 5 stars :D

Mezro
12-16-2004, 08:40 PM
Originally posted by Ozzy Fudd
LMMFAO
thanks for the laugh i needed it Heres 5 stars :D

Right back at you.

Mezro...each time I read it I fucking laugh (and pass some gas)...hahahaha..brapppppp...whoops, I did it again...