View Full Version : Discouraging Poll Data Puts Dio Near “The Last in Line”

02-05-2004, 01:10 PM
Discouraging Poll Data Puts Dio Near “The Last in Line”


As voters vote in today’s Democratic primary, new polling data suggests a nearly insurmountable challenge for the flagging presidential campaign of heavy metal singer Ronnie James Dio.

A CNN/Gallup poll of 200 likely voters in the seven primary states shows a strong lead for Sen. John Kerry (MA), followed closely by the other major candidates; Dr. Dio currently polls at an abysmal #16—wedged between jokey write-in candidates “Barney Fife” at #15 and “That guy who played Potsie” at #17.

Undeterred by the prospect of being defeated by a fictional TV policeman, Dr. Dio said “Two eyes from the east—It’s the angel or the beast. And the answer lies between the good and bad”—a theme to which Dio’s campaign has, inexplicably, returned often in recent weeks.

Flash Bastard
02-06-2004, 01:51 AM
Barney Fife wouldn't be good for the national defense.

He'd make our soldiers keep the ammo in their shirt pockets.

02-06-2004, 02:43 AM
And he doesn't even have a Heli-a-copter...

Osama Bin Laden
02-06-2004, 06:59 PM
Why would you infidels want that short little man to be your Great Satan?

I like that Ozzy fellow better. At least he knows how to bite the heads off of small flying creatures.

02-06-2004, 07:11 PM
Osama's into Black Sabbath??

Who would have guessed that?

Osama Bin Laden
02-06-2004, 07:39 PM
Yes, I really shouldn't involve myself in Western decadence, but holy festering camel dung, have you ever listened to radio here in the Middle East??