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bueno bob
01-17-2005, 02:41 AM
OK, here's the story.
























LAST CHANCE, MOTHER FUCKER! DO NOT READ ON IF YOU DON'T WANT THE WHOLE THING SPOILED!!



























I warned ya.




























Anyway, the movie starts out with Anakin (who was, in Episode II, a padawan wondering why he hadn't been knighted yet; in Episode III, he's a full fledged knight wondering why he hasn't been titled 'Master' yet) and Kenobi returning from a clone wars siege about 3 years after the end of Episode 2. Anakin and OB1 are GREAT friends, and Anakin's bitching and whining and moaning about the state of affairs in his life has ceased and been replaced with a cool headed confidence and pride in his own abilities - of course, something OB1 and the Jedi Council aren't truly happy about.

Anakin's become the poster boy for the war effort and has been tremendously succesful in leading assaults and kicking serious ass across the galaxy, and has also established himself as, essentially, the galaxy's best pilot PERIOD. When they get back to Coruscant, they discover it under attack by seperatist forces (and this is supposed to be the ultimate be-all-end-all Star Wars space battle right there; it's the end of the clone wars at that point and everybody's last ditch effort to topple the republic). Palpatine has been "kidnapped" by Count Dooku, so Skywalker and Kenobi board Dooku's ship to rescue him.

Along the way, they encounter General Grievous (who's going to be BAD ASS, trust me...he's an alien/droid hybrid that's toasted dozens of Jedi without breaking a sweat over the last 3 odd years of the clone wars and can use up to 4 lightsabers at once). Kenobi gets into it with him and separates from Anakin - Anakin runs into Dooku and Palpatine on the bridge, and Anakin takes on Dooku alone with Palpatine simply watching on from his seat. At this point, Anakin's become so incredibly good at what he does that even Dooku, a former lightsaber instructor for the Jedi, can't hope to stand against his onslaught and Dooku falls after losing both of his hands to Anakin, but begs Anakin to take him in rather than executing him for two reasons - 1) the Jedi don't believe in ever killing their prisoners, Sith or otherwise, if there's any chance in avoiding it and 2) Dooku promises a LOT of insider information to the Jedi about who's actually running things on Coruscant - Darth Sidious. Palpatine, at this point, is encouraging Anakin to end the clone wars decisively by killing Dooku and putting an end to the conflict once and for all. Anakin rationalizes that and jumps on the wagon that Mace Windu passed by 3 years back, killing Dooku and leaving the clone wars without it's figurehead leader.

At the same time, Grievous has battled Kenobi to a standstill and Anakin runs into him - Anakin and Grievous briefly fight, but Kenobi catches up and Grievous, for the first time sensing a real threat in both of them combined, escapes, and Anakin, Kenobi and Palpatine escape back to Coruscant where the remnants of the separatist army are fleeing.

Anakin has been plagued with nightmares of Padme's death during childbirth, which is causing him a lot of concern because his prophetic dreams have always come true for him; in dealing with that and everything else, instead of being praised and honored by cutting off the head of the enemy and ending the war, ends up being chastised for not bringing Dooku back alive.

However, even though the war is essentially over, Palpatine puts forth a call to the Galactic Senate for even more power and authority, and they seem prepared to give it to him; this is causing 'the good guys' a lot of grief, namely among them Bail Organa, Padme Skywalker and Mon Mothma - the three of them are preparing legislation to formally request Palpatine to set aside his emergency powers (guess how likely they are to succeed?). Anyway, there are a couple of wipeup things left to be done in the clone wars yet, so Palpatine sends Yoda out on assignment to Kashyyyk (Chewbacca! What a Wookie! Yes, he's in the movie - Peter Mayhew returns) with a detatchment of clone troopers to assist the Wookies with their problems and Kenobi goes out after General Grievous with his own detatchment...other Jedi members are basically scattered throughout the rest of the galaxy with their own detatchments of clone troopers, wiping up what remains of the resistance (which is basically an easy task, considering word getting around quickly of the defeat at Coruscant).

Anakin isn't especially happy about seeing OB1 go out after Grievous without him because he "doesn't like seeing the team broken up"; Anakin doesn't really have anyone to turn to about his dreams and isn't exactly hot on the idea of Padme's increasing resistance to his friend Palpatine's career, so he turns to Palpatine with his problems. Palpatine in turn takes Anakin in and reveals to him the great secret - that he's a Sith Master, and that within the secret powers of the dark side a way can indeed be found to save her life. Anakin's stunned by the turn of events and uncertain what to do, so he reveals Palpatine's revelation to him to Mace Windu, the highest ranking Jedi still on Coruscant. Windu immediately takes 3 or 4 of the best Jedi left on Coruscant to apprehend Palpatine (Anakin among them).

Mace and the Jedi confront Palpatine (who's, at this point, about as SIDIOUS as he can get). Palpatine puts Anakin into the role of making a decision - stay with the Jedi who could care less about his welfare, Padme's welfare and the welfare of their child (remember, neither of them know anything about Leia) or join with Palpatine and together they would find a way to save Padme and the son. Needless to say, we all know how Anakin chooses, so the Jedi, including Mace, meet their ends right there in Palpatine's chambers.

Meanwhile, Kenobi and his regiment have encountered Grievous on some planet or another; guess who wins...

Palpatine calls for an immediate emergency session of the galactic council and reveals his taped evidence of the Jedi assassination attempt - as he was taping the whole thing. This reveals the Jedi to be traitors interested only in toppling the Senate so that they could have the whole galaxy to themselves, as getting their asses kicked in the clone wars pretty heavily apparently made them decide they needed to take a more active role in running the galaxy. Palpatine, at this point, immediately instigates the next step in his plan - the activation of the true genetic programming of the clone troopers, which is, in a nutshell, pretty basic:

Kill all Jedi.

All at the same moment, clone troopers (now stormtroopers) turn on the unsuspecting Jedi and cut them down where they stand - 99% of every Jedi active in the galaxy is essentially killed in about 5 minutes time.

Yoda, of course, survives his attack due to his own skill and a little assistance from the wookies; he heads immediately back to Coruscant to figure out what the fucking hell just happened; across the galaxy, Kenobi's doing the same...

Palpatine's new orders for Anakin are to track the remaining heads of the separatist movement down to some volcanic planet (I forget the name) and execute them...and of course, Palpatine knows right where they're at...meanwhile, Kenobi and Yoda arrive on Coruscant and are informed by Padme (who is initially distrusting of them due to what Anakin's told her and the recent evidence of the Jedi assassination attempt on Palpatine) of what's happened and where Anakin's gone to. Kenobi takes off after him with Padme right behind and Yoda goes to do battle with Darth Sidious.

Kenobi and Padme arrive on the volcanic planet and follow Anakin - they catch up with him right as he's finished executing the last leaders of the separatist army. For some reason, Anakin starts to think that Padme and good ole Ben Kenobi have been doin' a little humpin' on the side (who knows why) and Anakin, vastly impressed with everything he's done in the last 24 hours (and the last 3 years of the war) basically tells OB1 to go fuck a rope after OB1 gives his little speech about the evils of Palpatine and the Dark Side and Forever Will It Dominate Your Destiny(c).

Padme tries to get in between them and Anakin, in a murderous rage at OB1, force-chokes her to the side so that he get a clear view at him. Padme collapses under Anakin's strength, and, being the good Sith in the making that he is, he blames OB1 for this and the duel begins - and TRUST ME - fuck Yoda vs. Dooku, fuck Luke vs. Vader in Empire Strikes Back, fuck Darth Maul vs. OB1 & Qui Gon, THIS IS THE ULTIMATE STAR WARS MOVIE LIGHTSABER DUEL OF ALL TIME. PERIOD.

Yoda, meanwhile, has found Palpatine - and Palpatine gets what he really wants - a shot at the ultimate Jedi Master himself.

Winner?

Palpatine, in a landslide. Yoda and his 900 years of perfected lightsaber technique hasn't got SHIT on Darth Sidious' raw power. Yoda falls to Sidious like a Sammy Hagar fan falls to me when I'm on my game in the Sheep Pen. Nope, it's not a pretty sight, and eventually Yoda realizes that he's just going to have to bust ass out of there if he's going to keep his little green skin intact for much longer.

Meanwhile, OB1 is getting his ass handed to him on a silver platter resoundingly at the hands of Anakin (both of them are using blue lightsabers, by the way, Anakin DOES NOT, repeat, DOES NOT have a red one). 90% of the duel belongs to Anakin - in fact, OB1 has really no place to get his ground in the duel at all, although he does flash a few moments of brilliance.

But....

By some stroke of sheer luck (and trust me, it's SHEER LUCK), OB1 gets the upper hand after Anakin missteps and carves off both of Anakin's legs and arms. Anakin falls backward into a molten lava pit and "dies".

You remember what Anakin said to Padme on Tattooine back in Episode II? "Someday I'll be so strong that nobody will die", or something to that effect? I believe that comes into play here.........

OB1 picks up Padme and Yoda picks them both up, informing OB1 that everything's gone to hell in a handbasket and they have to go into hiding and RIGHT FUCKIN' NOW because Palpatine is hot on their asses; Padme is still alive, but barely. Palpatine shows up on the planet and recovers the body of Anakin (or, really, what's left of it) and begins the process of, ahem, "finding something for him to wear"....

Padme gives birth to Luke and Leia and dies as a result of her injuries at Anakin's hands immediately afterwards. Yoda and Ben know that it would be best to separate the two of them, and Yoda also knows full well that the time of the Jedi has come to an end. Yoda decides to go into hiding on the abandoned world of Dagobah, a virtually deserted swamp, so Ben drops him off there (remember Luke saying in Empire Strikes Back that the place felt "familiar"? This is why...he'd already been there once). Yoda's last little bit of information to OB1 is that NEITHER of the two kids are to be trained as Jedi under ANY circumstances, so as to break the Skywalker curse before it could get any worse...and he also tells Ben a little something about a vanishing act when you die, as Ben and Yoda both know they won't be seeing each other again in life.

Ben drops Leia off with adoptive parents, Bail Organa and his wife, on Alderaan (so we finally get to see Alderaan as well) before heading off to his last stop, Tattooine, where he'll drop off Luke with Owen and Beru Lars. Of course, he makes his own home out in the desert wastes so as to better keep an eye on Luke in case Palpatine should ever happen to discover what happened to Anakin's kid. Of course, there are no concerns for Leia, because neither Palpatine nor Anakin were aware of any daughter, amazingly enough.

And, on Coruscant, a black armored figure lies on a table.

"Lord Vader?"
"Yes, Master?"
"RISE."

Vader asks Palpatine what's happened, etc etc...he gets around to "Where is Padme?", to which Palpatine responds "She's dead, Lord Vader. You have killed her."

Vader goes into a severe rage and unleashes a force storm which destroys the entire room, all of the droids working on his suit, and damn near kills Sidious himself in the process (it's every bit of force power Sidious has to keep himself alive through it). The next order of business is to announce that the Jedi have been made extinct due to their traitorous actions thanks to the quick thinking of the Stormtroopers, and in order to establish that nothing like the clone wars will ever again occur, he assumes complete authority over the galactic senate (which he won't be able to completely disband for another 20 years or so), declares himself Emperor of the galaxy by saying "If you fuckers got a problem with it, take it up with my Stormtroopers - now get the fuck outta my sight, bitches."

And, to wrap it all up, at the end, we see Palpatine, Vader and a young Moff Tarkin overseeing the construction of the first Death Star over the skyline of Coruscant...and a crazy old wizard dropping off Anakin's kid with 2 very surprised moisture farmers and walking off into the desert.

Roll the credits - the Sith have had their Revenge.

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 02:50 AM
And no, I don't know how R2D2, C3PO, Jar Jar Binks or Wickett the Ewok come into play, so don't ask. Be happy with what ya got.

Nickdfresh
01-17-2005, 03:21 AM
Fascinating.
http://www.farah.cl/SB/spock1.jpg

Vinnie Velvet
01-17-2005, 10:02 AM
Also, beuno, the volcano like planet where Anakin and Obi square off is called Mustafar (i think that's the spelling.)

I've said it many times, this has the makings of being the best SW film of them all.

Certainly it will be the most tense, second only to the Empire Strikes Back.

As far as the droids are concerned, I read somewhere that C-3P0 serves drinks to Bail, Padme and Mon Mothma during their 'meeting' to do something about Palps.

And Jar-Jar? well, his role will be even less than what it was in Clones. In fact, I don't even think he has any dialogue (though I'm not certain).

Matt White
01-17-2005, 10:34 AM
So, we had to sit thru 2 "kiddie" films to get to the ASS-KICKING.
At least he still falls in the volcano.

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 10:51 AM
Originally posted by Matt White
At least he still falls in the volcano.

Hey...I remember that as not being a very pleasant experience in my life...

Matt White
01-17-2005, 10:53 AM
Sorry Bob!:)

I just remember having some STAR WARS mag back in the late70's(:)) where Lucas explained VADAR'S condition by saying he had been badly burned in a duel with Obi-wan.

Nickdfresh
01-17-2005, 11:07 AM
Did you see this Bob? How you lucky bastard!?

flappo
01-17-2005, 11:24 AM
star wars sucks

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 11:48 AM
Originally posted by flappo
I suck

You'll see Episode III in the theater anyway.

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 11:51 AM
Originally posted by Nickdfresh
Did you see this Bob? How you lucky bastard!?

I haven't seen ALL of it, but a good portion of it, enough to where I could pretty much "fill in the blanks" (and some things could change in the final cut yet, removed or whatnot, but generally speaking that's the story...and the order of events might be slightly different in the final cut).

Unfortunately I can in no way reveal anything about who has it because he'll get a fucking flood of e-mails and phone calls and GL will probably sue the shit out of him. Relax! At the time of my posting this, you have only 121 dats, 14 hours, 07 minutes and 51 seconds left until it hits the theater!

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 11:53 AM
Originally posted by Matt White
Sorry Bob!:)

I just remember having some STAR WARS mag back in the late70's(:)) where Lucas explained VADAR'S condition by saying he had been badly burned in a duel with Obi-wan.

I think they actually made reference to it in the movie novelizations, also, if I'm not mistaken.

flappo
01-17-2005, 11:54 AM
the only star wars film i ever watched was the first one as a kid in 1977 , it was boring fucking crap then and is now

i was brought up on REAL sci-fi like forbidden planet and 2001 , not a buck rogers ripoff like sw

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 11:56 AM
Originally posted by flappo
the only star wars film i ever watched was the first one as a kid in 1977 , it was boring fucking crap then and is now

i was brought up on REAL sci-fi like forbidden planet and 2001 , not a buck rogers ripoff like sw

Um, OK then. We'll just go have all the fun then, dude.

Matt White
01-17-2005, 11:58 AM
I saw it as a kid in 1977 and thought "FINALLY!". I hated the original STAR TREK & Space 1999. RUBBISH!!!
I really only like the first two movies. The MUPPET MOVIE (ROTJ) kinda ruined the whole thing for me.
Still, very cool movies that set the stage for SO many films that came afterwards.

flappo
01-17-2005, 12:01 PM
the original star trek was probably the most brilliantly conceived sci-fi tv prog of all time

certainly far more thought put into it than a film aboot a guy rescuing a princess from a villian in black

how fucking original

Nickdfresh
01-17-2005, 12:03 PM
This does sound like a much darker, more violent version. Any beaver shots though?
http://www.cswu.cz/natalieportman/fotky/np_vog09.jpg

Matt White
01-17-2005, 12:05 PM
Originally posted by flappo
the original star trek was probably the most brilliantly conceived sci-fi tv prog of all time

certainly far more thought put into it than a film aboot a guy rescuing a princess from a villian in black

how fucking original

As a kid, it just bored the shit outta me. I'll give it it's due, it blazed a trail. Just always wanted cooler ships, better special effects, etc.

STAR WARS was heavily influenced by the old serials & THE LORD OF THE RINGS. Hell, what SciFI wasn't.

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 12:05 PM
Originally posted by Matt White
I saw it as a kid in 1977 and thought "FINALLY!". I hated the original STAR TREK & Space 1999. RUBBISH!!!

Yeah...Star Trek was a bunch of fuckin' crap so far as I was concerned and always will be concerned...the original's OK for the cheese quality, but it's garbage all the same and always will be without an over the top William Shatner to at least make it amusing.

I really only like the first two movies. The MUPPET MOVIE (ROTJ) kinda ruined the whole thing for me.

ROTJ, for me, was HIGHLY anticipated, but I walked out of it feeling like it should have been just a wee bit more...and mostly that was because of the Ewoks. ROTJ had it's moments, but they were kinda few and far between. The worst part about it? Han and Lando standing in front of the OBVIOUSLY PAINTED Millenium Falcon before Lando leaves in it...god, I wish they would have fixed that on the DVD...

Still, very cool movies that set the stage for SO many films that came afterwards.

Ain't no shittin'. I gotta give it to Lucas; I only wish I could come up with a story and characters so cool that 75% of the entire planet's human population is familiar with and enjoys...

Nickdfresh
01-17-2005, 12:06 PM
Originally posted by Matt White
As a kid, it just bored the shit outta me. I'll give it it's due, it blazed a trail. Just always wanted cooler ships, better special effects, etc.

STAR WARS was heavily influenced by the old serials & THE LORD OF THE RINGS. Hell, what SciFI wasn't.

George Lucas once referred to Star Wars as a modern day heroic myth.

academic punk
01-17-2005, 12:07 PM
It doesn't matter how good and ass'kicking the plot for this one is: bottom line, Lucas a) lost touch with what the made the seris great DECADES ago, and b) he has NEVER been able to write dialogue or pace a story.

I have yet to see episode II, and I will NOT see episode III until Lucas gives me back my ten dollars for episode I.

A deathless piece of shit that was.

Matt White
01-17-2005, 12:08 PM
Originally posted by Nickdfresh
This does sound like a much darker, more violent version. Any beaver shots though?
http://www.cswu.cz/natalieportman/fotky/np_vog09.jpg

Gonna have to wait for the DVD!!!

Now, that's entertainment!!!

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 12:08 PM
Originally posted by flappo
the original star trek was probably the most brilliantly conceived sci-fi tv prog of all time

certainly far more thought put into it than a film aboot a guy rescuing a princess from a villian in black

how fucking original

Star Trek was a snorefest and the only thing it had going for it was William Shatner - at least he made it vaguely amusing in it's stupidity.

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 12:09 PM
Originally posted by academic punk
It doesn't matter how good and ass'kicking the plot for this one is: bottom line, Lucas a) lost touch with what the made the seris great DECADES ago, and b) he has NEVER been able to write dialogue or pace a story.

I have yet to see episode II, and I will NOT see episode III until Lucas gives me back my ten dollars for episode I.

A deathless piece of shit that was.

HAHAHAHA!!!

I can remember people saying the same thing about Empire Strikes Back when that came out! "I won't go see it until I get my money back for that 'Star Wars' garbage!"

What a riot. :)

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 12:11 PM
Originally posted by Nickdfresh
George Lucas once referred to Star Wars as a modern day heroic myth.

Which is exactly what it is - a rehashing of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table thrown together with Lord of the Rings, elements of Dune and the spaghetti western.

Nickdfresh
01-17-2005, 12:13 PM
Don't fuck with Star Trek though dudes!

Kirk (http://soundwavs.trekkieguy.com/1/13/accuse.wav)

Nickdfresh
01-17-2005, 12:16 PM
Originally posted by Matt White
Gonna have to wait for the DVD!!!

Now, that's entertainment!!!

I love Portman! She's the only thing that made Episode I watchable!
http://ffmedia.ign.com/filmforce/image/natalieportman_officialsitewallpaper.jpg

flappo
01-17-2005, 12:16 PM
george lucas referred to it as a money making racket , more like

flappo
01-17-2005, 12:17 PM
collect the new range of ewok's fleas dolls , come in sizes ranging from tiny all the way down to dikhead's brain

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 12:21 PM
I'm sorry, I've never seen any appeal in Star Trek at all. Well, again, outside of William Shatner's overemoting everything. I will say that Next Generation had some interesting things happen on the oddball chance that I actually could watch a full episode of it...I won't deny at all that Star Trek's a very important asset to science fiction and all, and that it was groundbreaking for the future of sci fi on TV, but I've never been able to get even remotely into it; the storylines to me were either uninteresting or repetative of something that came before it.

I've never seen Deep Space 9, Voyager, Enterprise or any of those other spinoffs (although I stopped on Enterprise for about three minutes before I changed back to cartoons - cartoons were more interesting) and I haven't been able to sit through any Star Trek movie to completion. I guess it's OK if you're into that sort of thing, but Star Trek never cut it for me.

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 12:22 PM
Originally posted by flappo
george lucas referred to it as a money making racket , more like

Yup, and I'm sure Gene Roddenberry resented every single penny that Star Trek ever made... :rolleyes:

academic punk
01-17-2005, 12:23 PM
Originally posted by bueno bob
HAHAHAHA!!!

I can remember people saying the same thing about Empire Strikes Back when that came out! "I won't go see it until I get my money back for that 'Star Wars' garbage!"

What a riot. :)


Pardon?

Uh, no.

Empire Strikes Back was one of the most anticipated movies of all time. The first Star Wars captured the nation - the world. Episode I was fuckin' TERRIBLE in every way imagainable: I don't care if he was six: THE FUTURE DARTH VADER SHOULD NNNEEEVVVEEERRR EXCLAIM, "YIPPEE!!"

Jar-jar? no.

The most favorable thing ANYONE said about episode II is that "It's better than episode I". Face it: Lucas might once have had a great vision, but he LOST it. And , if nothig else, he REALLY canNOT write dialogue.

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 12:23 PM
But...given the choice, I'll take a good Dune novel over any sci fi any day of the week and both Star Wars and Star Trek can suck my penis because of that.

Frank Herbert's work is litterally so damn good it can't be filmed. By anyone.

So fuck y'all!

:D

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 12:31 PM
Originally posted by academic punk
Pardon?

Uh, no.

Empire Strikes Back was one of the most anticipated movies of all time. The first Star Wars captured the nation - the world. Episode I was fuckin' TERRIBLE in every way imagainable: I don't care if he was six: THE FUTURE DARTH VADER SHOULD NNNEEEVVVEEERRR EXCLAIM, "YIPPEE!!"

Jar-jar? no.

The most favorable thing ANYONE said about episode II is that "It's better than episode I". Face it: Lucas might once have had a great vision, but he LOST it. And , if nothig else, he REALLY canNOT write dialogue.

Empire Strikes Back was almost universally deadpanned by critics all over as "banal acting", "a waste of time", "wouldn't see it after seeing Star Wars", "terrible dialogue", "visually neat but don't go see it if you're looking for anything else", "the so-called 'love story' is forced and unbelievable", etc, at the time of it's release. Which, really, didn't bother me or any of the other millions of people that loved it. Which is why I said the rant sounded familiar - I heard it back then just as loudly as I heard it now.

I didn't have a problem with Episode I, and none of what anyone's offered up I've seen as a problem or as detrimental to the movie. I didn't have a problem with Jar Jar Binks, either; Star Wars has always had it's kid element ever since the introduction of R2 and 3PO. No big deal to me. Episode II was, again, to me outstanding with the one exception of OB1's little trip into the "50's Diner" that could have been done without, but those are small potatos.

Mostly, whenever somebody accuses Star Wars of losing it's vision and so forth, I generally write it off as a case of people who's tastes have changed now that they're not 7 years old and watching the original trilogy anymore...they expect the same sort of vibe and don't get it, so obviously it's the films fault. Just my opinion...either way, all the faithful will be lined up and ready to go this May :)

Word to your mother.

Nickdfresh
01-17-2005, 12:38 PM
Originally posted by bueno bob
I'm sorry, I've never seen any appeal in Star Trek at all. Well, again, outside of William Shatner's overemoting everything. I will say that Next Generation had some interesting things happen on the oddball chance that I actually could watch a full episode of it...I won't deny at all that Star Trek's a very important asset to science fiction and all, and that it was groundbreaking for the future of sci fi on TV, but I've never been able to get even remotely into it; the storylines to me were either uninteresting or repetative of something that came before it.

I've never seen Deep Space 9, Voyager, Enterprise or any of those other spinoffs (although I stopped on Enterprise for about three minutes before I changed back to cartoons - cartoons were more interesting) and I haven't been able to sit through any Star Trek movie to completion. I guess it's OK if you're into that sort of thing, but Star Trek never cut it for me.

Enterprize is quite good! I try to watch the thing but they keep moving the show around to get it away from 'Smallville,' which WB keeps moving to put against it. It was on Wednesdays, now it has been moved to Friday nights, not my favorite night ot watch TV. 'Star Trek: Enterprise' is worth watching for this alone:
http://www.robofood.com/archives/tpol.jpg
http://www.nooy.de/4images/data/media/5/jolene_blalock_wallpaper_6.JPG

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 12:42 PM
Yeah, I got the Jolene Blalock layout in Maxim :D

Good looking girl, that one. But I kept expecting to see Al Callavicci materialize through the door and tell the Captain what Ziggy and Gushy were trying to do so that he could leap out of there. Maybe that's what ruined it for me :)

flappo
01-17-2005, 12:47 PM
Originally posted by bueno bob
Yup, and I'm sure Gene Roddenberry resented every single penny that Star Trek ever made... :rolleyes:

at least he had some original ideas

lucas is a fucking zero talent idiot

apart from star crap , thx1138 and american graffitti , wtf else has he directed of any worth ?

at least he's aware of his own blinding limitations

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 01:01 PM
Originally posted by flappo
at least he had some original ideas

I wouldn't go that far, either.

lucas is a fucking zero talent idiot

When's your next sci fi masterpiece due in the theaters? I'd love to see it.

apart from star crap , thx1138 and american graffitti , wtf else has he directed of any worth ?

at least he's aware of his own blinding limitations

Let me make you a great suggestion, then. You don't like it? Go dress up in your Klingon outfit and enjoy your Star Trek repeats while the rest of us are out having fun.

flappo
01-17-2005, 01:03 PM
you still haven't answered my question

fair enough

i'm used to chicken shit answers

:)

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 01:09 PM
Originally posted by flappo
you still haven't answered my question

fair enough

i'm used to chicken shit answers

:)

To answer your question, nothing.

There's nothing chicken shit in that.

I was just busy posting over in the Queen thread I started :)

I love you, Flappo :D

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 01:16 PM
OK, I gotta go get some smokes. Been out since 8 AM and if I'm not smoking something while I'm awake, I'm not happy.

Flappo, I propose that we agree to disagree - you've got your tastes, I've got mine and neither are going to change the other. All good, my man.

Out.

twonabomber
01-17-2005, 02:17 PM
Originally posted by flappo
apart from star crap , thx1138 and american graffitti , wtf else has he directed of any worth ?



that Tucker movie wasn't too bad.

Mezro
01-17-2005, 02:21 PM
Fuck Star Wars & Star Trek.

Mezro...Ice Pirates & Krull...now those were epics...

academic punk
01-17-2005, 02:46 PM
Originally posted by bueno bob
Empire Strikes Back was almost universally deadpanned by critics all over as "banal acting", "a waste of time", "wouldn't see it after seeing Star Wars", "terrible dialogue", "visually neat but don't go see it if you're looking for anything else", "the so-called 'love story' is forced and unbelievable", etc, at the time of it's release. Which, really, didn't bother me or any of the other millions of people that loved it. Which is why I said the rant sounded familiar - I heard it back then just as loudly as I heard it now.

I didn't have a problem with Episode I, and none of what anyone's offered up I've seen as a problem or as detrimental to the movie. I didn't have a problem with Jar Jar Binks, either; Star Wars has always had it's kid element ever since the introduction of R2 and 3PO. No big deal to me. Episode II was, again, to me outstanding with the one exception of OB1's little trip into the "50's Diner" that could have been done without, but those are small potatos.

Mostly, whenever somebody accuses Star Wars of losing it's vision and so forth, I generally write it off as a case of people who's tastes have changed now that they're not 7 years old and watching the original trilogy anymore...they expect the same sort of vibe and don't get it, so obviously it's the films fault. Just my opinion...either way, all the faithful will be lined up and ready to go this May :)

Word to your mother.

I agree somewhat with the "people who's tastes have changed now that they're not 7" idea, but in the case of Star Wars, sorry. It's mutual. Episode I was just BAD movie-making. Lucas can play with his toys all he likes, he can even concept the story 100%, but he really needs to get a scriptwriter in to bring his vision to life. All the Harrison Fords, Alec Guinesses, and Ewan McGregor's in the world can't change that.

Oh, by the way: Darth Maul? Idiotic.

How much of an affront is Episode I to the franchise of Star Wars, and to movie-making as a whole?

I'D SOONER LISTEN TO A VAN FUCKING HAGAR ALBUM.

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 02:51 PM
Originally posted by academic punk
I'D SOONER LISTEN TO A VAN FUCKING HAGAR ALBUM.

:D

OK, buddy, knock yourself out. I'm sure your collection is full of Hagar albums.

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 02:52 PM
Originally posted by Mezro
Fuck Star Wars & Star Trek.

Mezro...Ice Pirates & Krull...now those were epics...

Heh Heh...yup, they were good :)

Nickdfresh
01-17-2005, 03:21 PM
Coming soon, the Jolene Blalock appreciation thread.

Mezro
01-17-2005, 03:41 PM
Originally posted by Nickdfresh
Coming soon, the Jolene Blalock appreciation thread.

I appreciate her...each time I rub one out of my dilithium crystals...

Mezro...no cock block when it comes to Blalock...

bueno bob
01-17-2005, 05:07 PM
Originally posted by Mezro
I appreciate her...each time I rub one out of my dilithium crystals...

Mezro...no cock block when it comes to Blalock...

Let the force flow through you...

academic punk
01-17-2005, 07:18 PM
no, blowjob bob, you see, I have TASTE. That means I can recognize whats crap, and what's not.

CVH? Great.
Van Hagar? The stuff blows and, no, I don't own a single song from them.

Star Wars, Episode IV: Great stuff, but I have outgrown it.

Star Wars, Episode I: As bad as "Love Walks In". Worse, even. At least Love Walks In is over within 4 minutes.

You? Somewhat witty, but not as much as you like to think.
Your mom? Dirty vagina, but she does like to swallow.

Now go play with your Boba Fett toys and fuck off.

damianleeroth
01-18-2005, 12:38 AM
I loved the first 2 Star Wars movies and it's been all bad since. I think everything is too special effects oriented and not enough time or thought put into the storylines and dialogue. It's a drag because the first one had so much personality and humor which has been lacking in the others. Sort of like the whole series of Rocky movies. The first one was a classic, the rest were just garbage getting worse w/each release.

Vinnie Velvet
01-18-2005, 09:29 AM
Originally posted by flappo
the original star trek was probably the most brilliantly conceived sci-fi tv prog of all time

certainly far more thought put into it than a film aboot a guy rescuing a princess from a villian in black

how fucking original

Look, for starters, Star Wars was never really conceived as 'Science Fiction' anyway, like say Star Trek or 2001.

Its more 'Space Fantasy'.

Lemmie guess, you were that little puke in school who "never kissed a girl" and pretty much lived in your mom's basement, right?

Whatever the case, Star Wars is not intended to be deep Science Fiction. Its SUPPOSED to be fun around the very basic struggle between 'good' and 'evil'.

Vinnie Velvet
01-18-2005, 09:34 AM
Originally posted by flappo
at least he had some original ideas

lucas is a fucking zero talent idiot

apart from star crap , thx1138 and american graffitti , wtf else has he directed of any worth ?

at least he's aware of his own blinding limitations

The guy created a worldwide phenomenon and literally changed the way movies are made.

Deal with it.

Can you imagine what the film industry would be like today if Star Wars had never happened?? The Lord of the Rings would have never seen the day that its story would be on the big screen.

manwiththedogs
01-18-2005, 01:55 PM
Originally posted by bueno bob
OB1 gives his little speech about the evils of Palpatine and the Dark Side and Forever Will It Dominate Your Destiny(c).


LMAO...copyright...no shit, sounds like Lucas alright.
Seriously tho...great post Bob, I had all but given up hope after Episode 2, Natalie Portman`s exposed midriff or no...

bueno bob
01-18-2005, 08:01 PM
Originally posted by academic punk
no, blowjob bob, you see, I have TASTE. That means I can recognize whats crap, and what's not.

CVH? Great.
Van Hagar? The stuff blows and, no, I don't own a single song from them.

Star Wars, Episode IV: Great stuff, but I have outgrown it.

Star Wars, Episode I: As bad as "Love Walks In". Worse, even. At least Love Walks In is over within 4 minutes.

You? Somewhat witty, but not as much as you like to think.
Your mom? Dirty vagina, but she does like to swallow.

Now go play with your Boba Fett toys and fuck off.

You have taste? Well, good for you. You sit and home and enjoy your taste while the rest of us have a great time with the movie, OK?

I'm really glad that you've "outgrown" Star Wars; good for you. Myself and the rest of the fans here, well, what the hell...we may not be "mature" or have "good taste" like such obviously educated and adult figures as yourself, but at least we're having fun.

Don't overspeak yourself, though; I'm incredibly witty.

As far as my mother's concerned, considering that she just died after a long bout of cancer recently, what does that say about your ability to get living women? You're about as likely to score living female flesh as a Hagar fan :)

After 3000 posts, I'd say I've established myself pretty fairly here at the boards - after your 200 or so, I'd say you've got a little work left in front of you. And yes, I bash even the most vehement Hagar haters here about their passion for him. If you were not an ignorant newbie, you'd be familiar about that aspect of my established online personality, but since you're not and have to resort to your "adult" and "mature" tactics of bashing my mother, I'll let you slide this time.

Now I'm going to play with my Star Wars toys - you can go out and rent a foreign film which I'm sure will be very brainy for one of such obvious intellect as yourself.

academic punk
01-18-2005, 10:19 PM
Originally posted by bueno bob
You have taste? Well, good for you. You sit and home and enjoy your taste while the rest of us have a great time with the movie, OK?

I'm really glad that you've "outgrown" Star Wars; good for you. Myself and the rest of the fans here, well, what the hell...we may not be "mature" or have "good taste" like such obviously educated and adult figures as yourself, but at least we're having fun.

Don't overspeak yourself, though; I'm incredibly witty.

As far as my mother's concerned, considering that she just died after a long bout of cancer recently, what does that say about your ability to get living women? You're about as likely to score living female flesh as a Hagar fan :)

After 3000 posts, I'd say I've established myself pretty fairly here at the boards - after your 200 or so, I'd say you've got a little work left in front of you. And yes, I bash even the most vehement Hagar haters here about their passion for him. If you were not an ignorant newbie, you'd be familiar about that aspect of my established online personality, but since you're not and have to resort to your "adult" and "mature" tactics of bashing my mother, I'll let you slide this time.

Now I'm going to play with my Star Wars toys - you can go out and rent a foreign film which I'm sure will be very brainy for one of such obvious intellect as yourself.


Okay there tough guy.

But for the record, my saying that I have gone past star wars was not intended as an insult to you, but an agreement to one of YOUR earlier posts in this thread. Look back and you'll see that.

Quit getting your panties in a bunch just because someone - unlike you - still doesn't have wet dreams about Chewbacca.

And as i wrote in my reply to you in your PM to me (in which you attempted to threaten me)(nice double standard - publicly you attempt to seem like captain diplomacy and "look at me! I take everything in stride! Lalallallala", but behind the mask is where the real guy - full of bitterness and rage - is revealed), my post was clearly intended facetiously.

That being said, though we clearly (and unfortunately) have issues with one another, the line about my staying home while you go to the movie...was pretty damn good.

Mezro
01-18-2005, 10:38 PM
Originally posted by academic punk
still doesn't have wet dreams about Chewbacca.



I had this Chewie plush toy while going through puberty that I used to launch onto while jacking off.

Mezro...and unlike Greedo I never shot first...

academic punk
01-18-2005, 10:39 PM
Originally posted by Mezro
I had this Chewie plush toy while going through puberty that I used to launch onto while jacking off.

Mezro...and unlike Greedo I never shot first...

oh my god.

academic punk
01-18-2005, 10:50 PM
Originally posted by Mezro
I had this Chewie plush toy while going through puberty that I used to launch onto while jacking off.

Mezro...and unlike Greedo I never shot first...


I'm still reeling from this post.

This is far and away the most bizarrwe thing I've ever read on this site, which is saying a lot when you keep in mind I have read and enjoyed every single post from dickface mcslapnuts.

bueno bob
01-18-2005, 11:54 PM
Originally posted by academic punk
Okay there tough guy.

But for the record, my saying that I have gone past star wars was not intended as an insult to you, but an agreement to one of YOUR earlier posts in this thread. Look back and you'll see that.

Quit getting your panties in a bunch just because someone - unlike you - still doesn't have wet dreams about Chewbacca.

And as i wrote in my reply to you in your PM to me (in which you attempted to threaten me)(nice double standard - publicly you attempt to seem like captain diplomacy and "look at me! I take everything in stride! Lalallallala", but behind the mask is where the real guy - full of bitterness and rage - is revealed), my post was clearly intended facetiously.

That being said, though we clearly (and unfortunately) have issues with one another, the line about my staying home while you go to the movie...was pretty damn good.

You're only wrong on two accounts - I am ANYTHING but Captain Diplomacy around here! And I didn't intend to threaten you. At least, not that I'm aware of...like I just said in my PM to you, I apologize if it seemed so - and I'll do it publically here too.

You're correct that I am full of bitterness and rage, most of it directed at Steve Kuser, but you can ask Rikk about that when he lends you his "Balance" Japanese import CD. :D

And my lines are BEYOND pretty damn good...I'd say they're fuckin' excellent, brother. ;)

Buryin' the hatchet,

Bob

Mr Badguy
01-19-2005, 12:53 PM
Great spoiler, Bob.

I didn`t know whether to read it or not but I did and now I think the film caould be fucking amazing as long as he doesn`t make the Wookies like Ewoks or Jar Jar.

It looks like it could be a 15 rating with all the violence, which will piss my daughters off as I promised to take them to see it.

Hey, fuck them, I`m going whatever.

Carmine
01-19-2005, 12:58 PM
I might have to see this without the little ragoo first....and he'll be pissed!

bueno bob
01-19-2005, 01:01 PM
The wookies are actually rather LARGE...Chewbacca seems as if he might have been the runt of the bunch...but they're bad ass, too :)

I'm hesitant on taking the kids, but...partying with them all at the theater seems like enough of a good excuse to allow them to see the violence for once, heh heh.

academic punk
01-19-2005, 01:08 PM
Buryin' the hatchet right back at ya, B.

As the Jedi were to say, L'chaim!

Ozzy Fudd
01-19-2005, 01:56 PM
Something about those eyes that say ...I'm a WILD FUCK IN THE RACK :sex: :sex:

twonabomber
01-19-2005, 02:00 PM
i think i'm going to SW Celebration III.