PDA

View Full Version : Sammy motherfucking Hagar is the Red Rockingest, Cabo Waboin', Not Drivin 55 singer..



hitch1969©
02-17-2004, 10:51 PM
Hi Kids. The internet's "hitch1969©" here...

First of all, I'm in a pretty pissed off and depressed mood is why I am writing this thread. Call it yet another chapter in the ongoing battle between the brilliant hitchBRAIN© and the small, yet virile hitchCOCK©. One makes rational and sound decisions but the other does not... and I always end up paying for this.

I gotta tell you that I'm pretty much heart broken these days... And that fuels some pretty fucked up anger, OJ... My personal life is a fucking mess again, I don't know how I do this or quite what it is about me that makes everyone just fucking hate my ass, but alienating people is what I do. I am destined to die alone. Maybe it's my social skills. Perhaps I am offensive and hurt people's feelings. Maybe it's just that I don't function in the world like normal folk and that makes people uneasy. I digress.

This thread is about Sammy Hagar, not hitch1969©. It's a thread about Sammy Hagar in a the Main Forum of The Diamond Motherfuckin David Lee Roth Army. It exists here, mainly for the aforementioned stress in my life, but acts as a reminder to all the PHONEY MOTHERFUCKIN BALONEY pranksters out there who BOUGHT Van Hagar, loved and accepted Van Halen v.2, but would NEVER admit it here. That, to me, gentlemen, is cowardace. Call the hitchMAN many things if you must, but never call me YELLA. I fucking tell the shit like it is. And I see some RedHeads here tonight. You can't fucking hide like some homo in the closet.

I'll be your guide on this journey. It's time to open up and be proud to love Sammy Hagar's Van Halen JUST AS MUCH OR BETTER than David Lee's version. It was never "instead of", it was always "in addition to". I even like the Queery Manbone stuff. Call me crazy. Call me depressed and angry. I don't care... I stand by that shit.

And I know that some of you chuckleheads out there like to see ol' hitch fall in and out of love again and again, pedestaling chicks and throwing all kinds of cash at them and winding up broke and emotionally devastated. I would laugh at me too if I wasn't so fucking bummed out. I mean what kind of moron keeps doing this shit over and over... it's not like I'm a fucking retard and can't learn. I simply chose not to learn. I chose the mistake over and over. It makes my dick happy but I never seem to hear from the guy when my heart is broken and I'm crying myself to sleep wanting to just be dead and at peace. And it never gets any easier... you think it would, you think that you'd develop a thick skin but nah. It actually hurts worse each time, failure after failure.

And most times, I only have myself and my big mouth and stupid behavior to blame. Can I apply for some goverment grant for dudes with a defective social gene? Something's fucking broke on me, man, I am totally serious. Sometimes I strive for self improvement and other times I just get even more motivated towards self destruction.

I don't think that Sammy Hagar or David lee have these sorts of issues, do they?

Fuck no they don't because they have cash which is something that hitch never has. I think that stems from poor vocational choices earlier in my career and a blind adversarial vibe that I create with authority type persons.

I think that my daddy upstairs (no, not "heaven" upstairs, I mean upstairs like I'm 34 and lived in his basement for 6 years) my daddy upstairs said it best when he said, "You're just a fuck up, you'll always be a fuck up, you're never going to do anything with your life".

Maybe that was my sister that said that? I cunt remember. Maybe it was both.

I want this fucking thread STICKIED in this MAIN forum goddammit! It's the only fucking thing in life that I can do well is to post on the fucking internet, and I'm needing some moral support from the team.

and if not, FUCK YOU ALL, I'm gonna go blow my fuckin brains out or something kewl like that. You can all play the Filter song "hey man nice shot" and sing ding dong the hitch is dead!!!

wait, flappo already did that earlier in the week.

ok, the sedatives that Dr. Feelgood gave me are kicking in, so my time here is limited. You can't fight Ambien and Xanax at the same time. Maybe sometimes alone, but that kinda drug cocktail is going to knock you out like Tyson used to before he pussed out and married Robin Givens.

And what an allegory that is. Damn I am sharp with wit. SO that's the lesson: drugs R kewl. make your kids do them, teach them to drink and drive and shoplift and vandalize. You're only a kid once and then life sucks a big fat motherfucking dick.

let me summarize:

-Sammy Hagar is kewl but no one but me will ever admit it
-David Lee is kewl too, but its all you guys talk about
-hitch1969 is depressed, heart broken, and angry.

Yeah.... who fuckin' cares.

lates

=h69=

Rubnose
02-17-2004, 10:58 PM
Lighten up Francis.

I still like you. (Insert favorite smiley here)

Panamark
02-18-2004, 04:23 AM
Ambien and Xanax, hey ? Hmmmm, sounds nice. Might go try it right now myself. Chuck a bit of alcohol in there too ! Nothing like a few CNS depressants to counter the blues. (Thank god for modern
medicine). Hey you guys can get Xanax XR ! (We cant) Is that like super fookin Xanax ?? Gotta get me some of that :)

I would also throw "Little Guitars" into that cocktail. Thats a surefire way to bring back that smile. Dave belting out "Catch as Catch" was designed for us, dude.

Oh yeah and cut back on the Hagar pills, those things are worse than Farken Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors !

And remember, Society is always to blame !

flappo
02-18-2004, 05:03 AM
..never fear , flappo's here !

flappo
02-18-2004, 05:17 AM
..popgear and hitchworld uber alles !

Little Texan
02-18-2004, 08:07 AM
Funny shit, Flappo! :D

Catfish
02-18-2004, 11:31 AM
What's with the Vince Neil doll?

Little Texan
02-18-2004, 07:21 PM
Is that Charlton Heston on the right?

hitch1969©
02-18-2004, 08:45 PM
It's fucking Dude Lebowski on Steve Austin's body. catflap's on a 6 million dollar man kick. yep that's heston.

fuck gun control.

=h69=

Panamark
02-18-2004, 09:21 PM
Farken last time I copy your medicine regime. Think I slept for 14 hours !

hitch1969©
02-18-2004, 09:47 PM
Panamark, I am trying the booze tonight. Last night, the dope sent me to sleep fairly well, but I woke up after about an hour and couldn't get the fucking drug induced coma thing to come back around. Result: No sleep last night, and fucking groggy from the dope today. Also exhausted from not sleeping. I hope to just get waysted and pass the fuck out tonight. maybe i'll get lucky and not wake up.

EVER!!!

uh u hu huhuhuhuhuhuhuh uh uh uh uh uh

throw a shrimp onthe barbie for me, mate.

=h=

pete
02-18-2004, 09:55 PM
Relax

Jesus, I wish i could live in someone's basement, free. I wish my parents were still around.

You got it made.

Now steer your bold, colorful, yet meaningless, diatribe into less.... virtual settings. This might include a few situps, since people will actually have to face you in a personal setting.

Now keep in mind, women find veiny penises and scrotums attractive. (we all should be lesbians) They can be manipulated, You may break 34 years of virginity.

Lay off the blow! (it doesn't help you in the ways it did years ago)
Pick your self up!
Have momma make those cookies she's fattened yer ass up for 37 years.

Get crackin'

That's a good boy
\
uh uhhhuhhuuhh uh uhhhhh

hitch1969©
02-18-2004, 10:18 PM
Originally posted by pete
Relax

Jesus, I wish i could live in someone's basement, free. I wish my parents were still around.

You got it made.

Now steer your bold, colorful, yet meaningless, diatribe into less.... virtual settings. This might include a few situps, since people will actually have to face you in a personal setting.

Now keep in mind, women find veiny penises and scrotums attractive. (we all should be lesbians) They can be manipulated, You may break 34 years of virginity.

Lay off the blow! (it doesn't help you in the ways it did years ago)
Pick your self up!
Have momma make those cookies she's fattened yer ass up for 37 years.

Get crackin'

That's a good boy
\
uh uhhhuhhuuhh uh uhhhhh

Pistol pete™, that shit cheered me up.

Thank you. :)

=h=

Panamark
02-18-2004, 10:29 PM
Originally posted by hitch1969©
Panamark, I am trying the booze tonight. Last night, the dope sent me to sleep fairly well, but I woke up after about an hour and couldn't get the fucking drug induced coma thing to come back around. Result: No sleep last night, and fucking groggy from the dope today. Also exhausted from not sleeping. I hope to just get waysted and pass the fuck out tonight. maybe i'll get lucky and not wake up.

EVER!!!

uh u hu huhuhuhuhuhuhuh uh uh uh uh uh

throw a shrimp onthe barbie for me, mate.

=h=

Roger that ! Im having a BBQ tonight. Will throw one on in your honour. Its farken hot here in Oz at the moment, all sunshine, booze, BBQ's and swimming pools.

As for the medicine, normally a dozen beers and a few mg's of Xanax should make you sleep dude, if not maybe try some serax (Oxazepam) in there aswell..

If the Benzo's dont work, just drink more, Works for me everytime.

David Lee Rocks
02-18-2004, 10:29 PM
is this not a david Lee FUCKING Roth sight or not?

hitch1969©
02-18-2004, 10:38 PM
Originally posted by David Lee Rocks
is this not a david Lee FUCKING Roth sight or not?


No.

and I'm not gonna go PSYCHO on you this time dude, like I always do to people who disrespect moi, because I am depressed and also very melancholy about my lady love.

First of all.... it's a SITE, not a "sight"

Second of all... it's all about the house that hitch1969© built. You should pay attention. David Lee is just the opening act for all that is hitchWORLD©.

you Dumb Dumb™.

now piss off.

the brilliant hitchBRAIN has SPOKEN!!!

=h69=

David Lee Rocks
02-18-2004, 10:40 PM
I knew that would get a rise out of you,, bitch,, oh um,,, i mean Hitch,

hitch1969©
02-18-2004, 10:47 PM
Originally posted by David Lee Rocks
I knew that would get a rise out of you,, bitch,, oh um,,, i mean Hitch,

your mother also knows how to do that to me.

ironically, she calls me that too....

sorry man, you made it easy, you fuckin moron.

word to your mother, vanilla iceHOLE.

BEST!!

=h69=

David Lee Rocks
02-18-2004, 10:49 PM
mother who? moron,, love ya!!

hitch1969©
02-18-2004, 10:53 PM
Originally posted by David Lee Rocks
mother who? moron,, love ya!!

Dude I want you to say "mother may I", and then spell the word CUP.

uh uh u huhuhuhuh uhuh uh uh uh uh uh

2nd grade ROCKED THE COCK IN MY SOCK, did it not?

uh u uhuh uh uh u hu huhuhuhuhu huhuh

BREASTPLATES!!

=h69=

David Lee Rocks
02-18-2004, 10:56 PM
:killer:

hitch1969©
02-18-2004, 10:57 PM
Originally posted by hitch1969©
Dude I want you to say "mother may I", and then spell the word CUP.

uh uh u huhuhuhuh uhuh uh uh uh uh uh

2nd grade ROCKED THE COCK IN MY SOCK, did it not?

uh u uhuh uh uh u hu huhuhuhuhu huhuh

BREASTPLATES!!

=h69=

quoting myself is very fokken kewl.

hitch1969©, you are the wind 'neath my thingie. VIVA hitchWORLD© and mother may I see you pee?

uh uh uhuhuh uhuhuhu huh uh u huh uh uhuh uh uh uh u huh

David Lee Rocks
02-18-2004, 11:00 PM
theres no denying that

hitch1969©
02-18-2004, 11:20 PM
Originally posted by Panamark
Roger that ! Im having a BBQ tonight. Will throw one on in your honour. Its farken hot here in Oz at the moment, all sunshine, booze, BBQ's and swimming pools.

As for the medicine, normally a dozen beers and a few mg's of Xanax should make you sleep dude, if not maybe try some serax (Oxazepam) in there aswell..

If the Benzo's dont work, just drink more, Works for me everytime.


Jesus Christ, Marky Mark, when did you become sucha fucking pill popper like my fat elvis self?

dude, there is no terrorism in australia, i am pretty sure.

calm down.

and i love you, baybee

uh uh uh uh uhuh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

feeling GAY now???

uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uhuh uh uh I sure am!!!

sorry about that beavis

uh uh uh uhuhuhuhu huhuhu h:)

=gayhitch1969=

David Lee Rocks
02-18-2004, 11:22 PM
who is Francis? IM SO FUCKIN DRUNK

hitch1969©
02-18-2004, 11:51 PM
Originally posted by David Lee Rocks
who is Francis? IM SO FUCKIN DRUNK

that's an homage to the grate Bill Murray flick, STRIPES. Remember Francis the psycho?

"If any of you homos touch me.... I'LL KILL YOU. If any of you homos touch my stuff.... I'LL KILL YOU"

Sarge Hulka with the big toe tells francis to lighten up.

that's SO GAY that I know that so offhand and referencial. como se dice, "Loser"????

soy un perdedor.

so why dont you kill me?

uh uhuh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

BECKORIFFIC!!

=h=

David Lee Rocks
02-18-2004, 11:53 PM
whos gay?

hitch1969©
02-18-2004, 11:53 PM
thats why i say hey man NICE SHOT

nice shot man

=h69=

Panamark
02-19-2004, 12:26 AM
Originally posted by hitch1969©
Jesus Christ, Marky Mark, when did you become sucha fucking pill popper like my fat elvis self?

dude, there is no terrorism in australia, i am pretty sure.

calm down.

and i love you, baybee

uh uh uh uh uhuh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

feeling GAY now???

uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uhuh uh uh I sure am!!!

sorry about that beavis

uh uh uh uhuhuhuhu huhuhu h:)

=gayhitch1969=

Ive tried them all :)
Doesnt mean that Im on them all at the moment.
Rest assured when you think it cant get anymore fucked up than it is, thats about the time you come back around.

Im not really into huge doses of any of that stuff now, I mainly just get fucked up on alcohol, they cant take that prescription away from you !! the dirty fuckers !!!!!!

But Xannies have their place. Farken heaps better than SSRI's..

As for terrorists in Australia, I think they are here ! They blew up Bali (Our Hawaii) and have already caught cunts who were plotting bomb
attacks in Sydney. We have whole farken suburbs of Bin Laden dudes
here. Give it time.

Thats not what depresses me though. If I cant be high, playing guitar, drinking a beer and getting my dick sucked (all at the same time) I get thrown into major depressive chemical imbalance. But thats ok, then I just drink more. Sometimes I manage all of the above and
things are normal again.

Actually, its pretty hard to be too depressed when you live in Oz.
I think I just like excuses for taking drugs, Hey Doc Im depressed over here !! Give me some more farken xannies ya cunt !!
A little aint enough for me !

Well now Im farken confused. Am I depressed or not ?? Hmm, two Percodans and a six pack should clear my head.. hahahha

Right you are !

hitch1969©
02-19-2004, 02:10 AM
Dear Marky Mark and your Funky Australian Bunch®,

To quote the great iconomatic™, "I don't know whether to laugh or cry". However, I'm more thinking about my situation when I say that. Call me self consumed if you have to man. I guess that I am. Double barrel buckshot, soy un perdedor.

Baby's in Reno© with the vitamin D™.

we all know that vitamin D™ means the small, yet virile hitchCOCK©.

I'm a driver I'm a winner things are gonna change i can feel it.

soy un perdedor.

=h69=

Panamark
02-19-2004, 02:37 AM
Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll. All at once.
Im sure its the meaning of life.

As the late great Michael Hutchence said
(who incidently killed himself while drugged,
wanking, hanging by the neck (with his own
trouser belt) off a hotel door in Sydney)

Im Elegantly Wasted !!

hitch1969©
02-19-2004, 03:19 AM
Originally posted by Panamark
Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll. All at once.
Im sure its the meaning of life.

As the late great Michael Hutchence said
(who incidently killed himself while drugged,
wanking, hanging by the neck (with his own
trouser belt) off a hotel door in Sydney)

Im Elegantly Wasted !!


Oh man, that dude was your country's greatest export!!!!!

Way better than Jim Morrison

sorry POJO_Risin....

I think I will re-register:

AutoEroticAsphyxiatedhitchBRAIN©_Risin™

that's fucking cool man. jerking yourself off to death. I can deal with that. Cept for the noose stuff.

Well if you're gonna die... whatta way to go.

Mr. AutoEroticAsphyxiatedhitchBRAIN©_Risin™!!!

uh uh uh uh uh uh u huh u huh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh u huh uh uh

Marky Mark you sick motherfucker I love you BAYBEEE!!!

lates


=h=

flappo
02-19-2004, 04:05 AM
..the sweetest word i ever heard

PLINKO !

Igosplut
02-19-2004, 07:16 AM
I couldnt pass this one up....

Hitch, in light of your new user name I have just the avitar for you......

AutoEroticAsphyxiatedhitchBRAIN©
Just hanging out

Figs
11-03-2004, 01:40 PM
Careful, you ham-fisted cunt!