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Iannu
03-13-2005, 07:03 AM
VAN HALEN -Warner Bros. 1978
Rating: A

A classic of hard rock music, and not for the reasons you might think (Michael Anthony's glute muscles, you were thinking, weren't you?)(They are nice and firm.)(Fag.)

Nah really, you probably think this is great because of Eddie Van Halen's Grand New Guitar Technique and how our man created the first completely new rock guitar style since Hendrix or (fill in the blank here) , and the first one in recent memory that wasn't derivative of the blues at all. Ehh, I don't really buy into all of that 'new technique' business. Listen to enough prog rock and you'll really start getting the idea that all that tapping, dive-bombing, and pick scratching had been done before, somewhere, by somebody (or more likely, several different people). Anyway, Eddie Van Halen was the first one who did all that stuff in a purely Dumb Hard Rock atmosphere. Made it sound respectable, worthy of study, academic. And exciting, too. And, unless Excitement has recently been elected an emotion, almost devoid of emotional content. Van Halen's solos frequently sound way too cold and academic. More frigid than a Baptist Prom Queen. But worthy of more 'Wow's' than any other guitar work I've heard in a long time. In short, a lot of 'rock grimace and air guitar' moments, and not too many 'crying like a baby because of his great tone' moments.

Anyway, it's not because of either of that, but because Van Halen as a band were one of The great Fun Party Bands (mostly thanks to Roth) at a time when such things were not necessarily considered very cool. Of course, in the late 70's you had your Southern Boogie party bands, and you might count AC/DC and Aerosmith, but Van Halen was fun and completely new and had enough enthusiasm you knock your socks off without ever coming close to being serious about what they were doing. Here was finally a band that totally sounded like High School, with its raging hormones, drunken stupidity, and pranksterish hooliganism, all wrapped up in a well made and easily sold package.

Enough about describing the band, let's talk about the record. It's flat out one of my favorite records by anybody. Realise that there's no theme here, its really just a bunch of riff rockers, and a few of the tracks really tank. But I love the whole record, and the quick, balls out drive of the dang thing just wipes all those naggin 'Hey! I think maybe that cool bitchin riff might not be as original and earth-shatteringly melodic as something by Yes' complaints clear from my skull. It's Rock 'n' roll music, that's all. It just happens to be played better than 99% of other rock 'n' roll bands do it. We start out with 'Runnin' With the Devil', an 'Im a Bad Bad Boy' sort of song where you get to hear all of the Van Halen cliches introduced to you one at a time. Roth's high-pitched yelps, Anthony's one note bass lines, quiet verse/loud chorus dynamics, band vocal harmonies, dive bombs, and that thing where the band comes totally alive for the Eddie solo. Its the prototype Van Halen (early VH, anyway). If you don't totally bang your head and jump around, look elsewhere, for Van Halen is not for you.

Then it's 'Eruption', Eddie Van Halen's 2 minute solo guitar spot where he challenges for the title of speediest guitar player ever. And I think he may have won. Its amazing, but it is only a guitar solo. I personally like the feedback dive at the end more than all the finger twiddling, but that's just me and my monkey. You?

Listen, the rest is similar, but similarly great. 'You Really Got Me' might be considered sacrilege by a Ray Davies disciple, especially since it's Party Hard Rock instead of Party Proto Punk, but it never did me any harm. It also starts the trend of the Van Halen-ized cover song, all of which sound pretty similar to this one, which is, Suprise! Pretty similar to Van Halen songs in general! The speedier 'Ain't Talkin' About Love' is another winner, a much darker song than 'Runnin', even, and Roth really lets himself hang out on this one. His Jive Talkin' Fool stage persona really works on record as well, especially on the 'I've Been to the Edge' part. What this guy had was a dumptruck load of charisma, which allows him to put good songs into the stratosphere and save lame songs from the trash bin. 'I'm the One' is a really fast generic boogie, which I guess becomes less generic because of the totally wigged out speediness of the dang thing. It's all just a rah-rah lovin'-the-audience song, but as a rave up it works. Again, it's no great shakes songwriting wise, but who cares? Its great rock, and there's an absolutely suprising doo-wop part that any other band (or lead singer) would never had the genius to come up with. Then the groovin 'Janie's Cryin', which you may know from Mr. Tone Loc's 1989 smash hit song 'I Steal Van Halen Riffs Because Otherwise I Would Never Get On the Radio, and Anyway, None of My 10-Year Old Pop Rap Listeners Will Ever Get Within 10 Miles of Van Halen 1 So I'm Safe to Bugger Rodents and Eat My Own Boogers'.

The only song I really don't like is 'Atomic Punk', which sounds way too serious to be a joke, but if I convince myself Roth is fooling around with us, it's great. Those creeping suspicions that this was an 'early' composition and is meant to be taken perfectly seriously can ruin it though. But hey, listen to that Michael Anthony thump. I thought maybe the man only had one finger on his left hand or something. He still blows goats, at least according to me. 'Feel Your Love Tonight' is a bit too light on the radar, but don't take it like the song doesn't kick ass, for it does, in an Aerosmith sort of way. Really. Or Guns 'n' Roses. Doesn't that instrumental part around the guitar solo sound like Guns 'n' Roses? Wow. A new revelation on my Van Halen record I've listened to a million times. 'Little Dreamer' is all Roth, with a bit of a decent riff and cool 'Oooh' harmonies. Those VH'ers really used to be able to sing, you know?

Shit, this review is very, very long. But who cares? Let's just skip talking about the last two songs, even though they're pretty decent (and show other, interesting but sillier, sides of the band) and say: Buy this Record! You won't be disappointed unless you think way too much. And please let me know if you agree with me.

philouze
03-13-2005, 08:00 AM
sorry, but what's the purpose of this thread, Italian Buddy ?
I mean, we ALL know how good are the CVH albums...
I rate them all with a Fuckin' A...lol

BTW, Sam's a prick, u're right !!

Iannu
03-13-2005, 08:14 AM
I don't know.. just wanted to share my opinion with you guys...
If ya all don't care then I won't be posting them(it) anymore... Fuck, so much wasted time...

Iannu
03-13-2005, 08:15 AM
plus, I also review the Hagar albums.. and not all of them are that good!

philouze
03-13-2005, 08:16 AM
C'mon, Iannu, keep em coming...
Thanx for sharing... Sorry about my previous post...

Iannu
03-13-2005, 08:19 AM
naa man it's fine i first wanna see if anyone else cares about this shit..

philouze
03-13-2005, 08:23 AM
5 stars 4 u

Iannu
03-13-2005, 08:27 AM
Wow thank YOU sammy

nosuchluck
03-13-2005, 09:02 AM
i've seen the website which has those reviews. even the Van Hagar albums were reviewed. the link has been posted here before.

vanzilla
03-13-2005, 01:24 PM
I'd give everything in the Dave era an A with the exception of Diver Down - which I'd give a B. Too many covers on that one, but still enjoyable.

As for the Sammy era, and I'm sure I'll take some heat for this...

5150 B+

OU812 D

F.U.C.K. F

Balance B

And let's not forget VH 3 = B. I know that's going to ruffle some feathers, but I actually like Eddie's playing on this. Sure How Many Say I, and Jospehina, and Ballot or the Bullet sucked ass. But I kinda dug New World, Without You, Fire In the Hole. Shit - at least Gary gave props to Dave.

Let's agree to disagree.

Bill Lumbergh
03-13-2005, 01:27 PM
Man I just voted for you, then I see this SHIT! B for Balance?! Man, you and Rikk need to huddle up and talk Balance(he has 17 copies of the Japanese version)! ;)

vanzilla
03-13-2005, 01:36 PM
Sorry Bill - I'd thought I'd catch hell for 3 before Balance. What can I tell you - I liked Eddie's Goatie.

To be honest, I really don't listen to my Van Hagar albums much anymore because they just didn't get any better with age. Where as CVH is timeless and will never go out of style, albums like OU812 and F.U.C.K. and even 5150 to a degree pretty much scream 80's head cheese. I hope this makes it up for my previous post.

By the way, Office Space rocks!

Bill Lumbergh
03-13-2005, 01:42 PM
Originally posted by vanzilla
Sorry Bill - I'd thought I'd catch hell for 3 before Balance. What can I tell you - I liked Eddie's Goatie.

To be honest, I really don't listen to my Van Hagar albums much anymore because they just didn't get any better with age. Where as CVH is timeless and will never go out of style, albums like OU812 and F.U.C.K. and even 5150 to a degree pretty much scream 80's head cheese. I hope this makes it up for my previous post.

By the way, Office Space rocks!

Just fucking with you , dude. I've actually enjoyed a lot of your posts here.

pete
03-13-2005, 01:44 PM
Originally posted by vanzilla


And let's not forget VH 3 = B. I know that's going to ruffle some feathers, but I actually like Eddie's playing on this. Sure How Many Say I, and Jospehina, and Ballot or the Bullet sucked ass. But I kinda dug New World, Without You, Fire In the Hole. Shit - at least Gary gave props to Dave.

Let's agree to disagree.

I downloaded a live concert of the VH3 tour in australia. There is a song I think is called "A year to the day". The song sounds like a scorpions song. his playing is awesome. He actually explored new textures and tones on that one.

I'd take VH3 over any Vhagar.

It's just not Van Halen.

Thanks for the review.

It is what this place is for.

vanzilla
03-13-2005, 02:23 PM
Yeh, I saw that same video. A Year To The Day was pretty bad ass. You're right, it just wasn't what everyone was used to, or hoping for. Pretty amazing how Ed's chops have gone to shit over the past 7 years.

Iannu
03-14-2005, 06:06 AM
Van Halen II - Warner Bros 1979
Rating: A

Somehow this record is a wee bit inferior to the first one, even though it's taken from the same batch of songs (hell, most of the riffs on the first 3 or 4 records were all written in 1977, so maybe that says something). Simply put, if you liked the first one, and could stand another cover tune (Carole King's 'You're No Good', which is given a sort of dumb treatment) and somewhat more intense (but not necessarily better, just, umm....darker!) sounding songs, you'll dig the shit outta this shit, I promise you. You'll dance to 'Dance the Night Away' which has to be best senior prom song ever. I wish they'd played it at mine.

Crap, I dunno. There's a cool 'dark' vibe on here, like we're really serious about partying and screwing chicks. Like there's some danger or fast automobiles involved or something. Not like 'Ain't Talkin About Love'-I'm a bastard sort of darkness. Maybe the riffs are just a bit less good. Maybe there's too much similarity between songs 3 to 6 which makes the middle of the album a bit too generic of a Van Halen listen. Then there's the cool Spainsh guitar tap-a-thon 'Spanish Fly', the 'Louie Louie' riff rewrite (but Dark!) 'D.O.A.', then two funner ending songs called 'Women in Love' and 'Beautiful Girls' which leave thing on a lighter note. And that last one isn't dark at all, just happy as my gf after a foot rub. And the whole shebang's only like 30 minutes long, so there isn't a lot of wasted space on here. Its almost like a punk album or something in that regard. A bunch of great rock songs. And a great dance song. And a great, umm, acoustic guitar workout. If there is such a thing. Hey and there's no silliness like 'Ice Cream Man' here....its all Van Halen rockers all the time.

And ummm....darker. Jesus. That sounds so stupid after the 15th time. This album doesn't though!

Wasn't that a witty turn of phrase? Aren't I just a wit like Mr. Oscar Wilde?

I mean without the other man's penis inserted in my rectum, of course.