bueno bob
03-23-2005, 06:43 AM
OK, I just finished re-reading The Dark Tower series...and I am just fuckin' furious. This was, once, a really great series, but now that I've had opportunity to sit down, read them all back to back, and absorb the whole thing, I'm just really upset with the way all of it has turned out. It's disgusting, seriously. At this point I wish King had never bothered to finish it.
Everything after Wizard and Glass read as rushed, hurried...just get it done so it can be done. I'm forced to wonder why in the hell all of these side plots and extra characters were added in starting around "Wolves of the Calla" - they really didn't offer anything needed to the series and the sub-plots ended up being essentially useless to the tale.
I think the most of my irk has to be directed to "The Dark Tower" (book 7). What a piece of crap! Eddie, Jake and Oy all killed off entirely too quickly and too easily (Eddie I can see, maybe, OK, but Jake was FUCKING ROBBED, period - there's no other way to put it). Susannah just "calling off" the quest? Nope. No way in fucking hell that would have happened, it's entirely out of character, especially considering how determined to get there she would have been after Eddie and Jake's death.
Why did King have to put himself into this story, anyway? That just drives me nuts. If I want to read about Stephen King, I can buy any number of his fucking biographies (and they're most certainly out there, no doubt of that). Putting himself into this saga just cheapened it horribly...one of the first things I learned in my creative writing classes was that adding yourself into a work of fiction by name and person was a sign of complete desperation....and I tell you, man, the whole last three novels just read as desperation and a lack of ideas.
At first, I was cool with the whole Susannah/Mia thing, but after a second reading...Jesus Christ, haven't we all had enough of her fucking personality disorders? Did we REALLY need another one? :rolleyes: Just foolishness, seriously.
And don't even get me started on Walter/Flagg. Uh...Walter was made out to be human...Flagg was NEVER human...more over, Walter and Flagg were NOT one and the same person (I don't know how short of attention spans King thinks we have, but...duh!). More over, even if Flagg and Walter WERE one and the same, why did Mordred kill him so easily? It was just plain fuckin' stupid, say sorry - kill him just to get him out of the way, I guess...
And Mordred? HA! HA, I SAY! Let's see, 500 odd pages of buildup about what a bad-ass he is only to have him dispatched by poisoned meat, Oy and Roland in less than 2 paragraphs? Talk about anti-climatic. Why even bother with him as a character if he was going to be such a non-threat?
But the worst crime there was the Crimson King himself. All seeing, all knowing, all powerful - many refuse to even utter his name, just in case he should hear it. Rage, hatred and evil embodied. The grand galactic bad ass of all bad asses. In truth? An old, bitter, crazy ass nutjob with a box of grenades, and apparently no other powers or defenses. REALLY great conflict there. Oh, but how do we get rid of him? Insert Patrick Danville (from "Insomnia", like he was a character anybody gave a fuck about) into the story to "write him out"! Man, the second time reading all this, it just reads as SO FUCKING STUPID.
The whole Dandelo thing? I tell you this - the Roland of the first three DT novels would have NEVER fallen for that stupid shit. Just fucking gay, period.
Oh, and where was the promised encounters with Mother Abigail, Jack Sawyer, Parkus, etc.? Non-existant, apparently, unless my copy of DT7 was missing a few pages...more over, speaking of old characters, Roland seemed very disinterested in seeing Sheemie again, nor did he even seem to really care once Sheemie died just a few pages after he was reintroduced. What was the deal with that?
Where was the conflict here? It was virtually NON-EXISTANT. Any problem they ran into was solved miraculously within a few pages at the very most (after hundreds of pages worth of build up to get you there). Cheap. Very cheap.
The other thing I've gotta rant about was his little ongoing commentary with the reader. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but frankly I think I'm smart enough to be able to follow a story without having to have Steve-O draw a picture for me. And is it just me, or does the whole running commentary seem very bitter and insulting? Seriously, the second time reading it, I felt as if he was angry at ME personally for reading his book! Oh, and the verbage used is something else entirely...the upshot I got from it all is "Don't read any further, or you'll be SOOORRRYYY!!" So, of course, you do read further, as he knows you will since you just spent 30 fuckin bucks on his book, and what does he give you when you do read further and you ARE sorry for doing it? "Neener neener neener, that's what you get! But don't blame me or send me angry letters 'cuz this is what you wanted, you pricks!" He may as well have said as much, because that's about the impression I was left with after the re-read.
Honestly, I really think Stephen King is a broken down, bitter asshole and I'm almost sorry for having re-read the series - based on the way the series was going up til "The Waste Lands", I honestly believe that he just chucked whatever vision he had of where he wanted it to go (and, regardless of whether or not he says otherwise, I'm POSITIVE he had some idea of what he was going to do with it, ALWAYS did) and just threw something together for the sake of getting it done quicker. I tell ya, the whole saga was REALLY lost somewhere along the way, and by the flow of the story, I'd say it was after his accident, because NOTHING from he's written "Wolves" up really strikes me as being even remotely caring, thoughtful, paced, or even remotely cared about.
Keep the vision? Fuck it, gimme expediancy or gimme death, I guess.
And, finally, DT7's "Found" Coda - fuck that piece of trash. A shocking heartbreaker and tearjerker just to try and move you, piss you off, or both, that's all that ending is. Considering the Tower is obviously sentient, wouldn't it stand to reason that it would be SOMEWHAT grateful to Roland for saving it? The only way that ending makes sense is if the Tower WANTS to fall and is pissed at Roland for saving it, OR the Tower has contempt for anyone who dares open the door at the top and punishes them in the worst way it can possibly fathom. Even as we speak, I'm currently re-writing it and making it the RIGHT ending; in this case, Stephen King saying his ending is the "right" ending and the "only" ending...he didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. What he SHOULD have done is leave the ending ambiguous - during his little commentary at the end, he should have said something along the lines of "I could tell you what's behind the door at the top of the Tower...or my idea of what's behind the door at the top of the Tower...but after coming all this way - you know what's behind that door already, don't you? Of course you do. Here, constant reader, is the key to the Tower - go open it, climb to the top, and enjoy what you find there." (The End). Or something of that nature.
Coming soon to this forum - "The Dark Tower 7: Found" - Fan Fiction by Bueno Bob. Stay tuned.... ;)
Everything after Wizard and Glass read as rushed, hurried...just get it done so it can be done. I'm forced to wonder why in the hell all of these side plots and extra characters were added in starting around "Wolves of the Calla" - they really didn't offer anything needed to the series and the sub-plots ended up being essentially useless to the tale.
I think the most of my irk has to be directed to "The Dark Tower" (book 7). What a piece of crap! Eddie, Jake and Oy all killed off entirely too quickly and too easily (Eddie I can see, maybe, OK, but Jake was FUCKING ROBBED, period - there's no other way to put it). Susannah just "calling off" the quest? Nope. No way in fucking hell that would have happened, it's entirely out of character, especially considering how determined to get there she would have been after Eddie and Jake's death.
Why did King have to put himself into this story, anyway? That just drives me nuts. If I want to read about Stephen King, I can buy any number of his fucking biographies (and they're most certainly out there, no doubt of that). Putting himself into this saga just cheapened it horribly...one of the first things I learned in my creative writing classes was that adding yourself into a work of fiction by name and person was a sign of complete desperation....and I tell you, man, the whole last three novels just read as desperation and a lack of ideas.
At first, I was cool with the whole Susannah/Mia thing, but after a second reading...Jesus Christ, haven't we all had enough of her fucking personality disorders? Did we REALLY need another one? :rolleyes: Just foolishness, seriously.
And don't even get me started on Walter/Flagg. Uh...Walter was made out to be human...Flagg was NEVER human...more over, Walter and Flagg were NOT one and the same person (I don't know how short of attention spans King thinks we have, but...duh!). More over, even if Flagg and Walter WERE one and the same, why did Mordred kill him so easily? It was just plain fuckin' stupid, say sorry - kill him just to get him out of the way, I guess...
And Mordred? HA! HA, I SAY! Let's see, 500 odd pages of buildup about what a bad-ass he is only to have him dispatched by poisoned meat, Oy and Roland in less than 2 paragraphs? Talk about anti-climatic. Why even bother with him as a character if he was going to be such a non-threat?
But the worst crime there was the Crimson King himself. All seeing, all knowing, all powerful - many refuse to even utter his name, just in case he should hear it. Rage, hatred and evil embodied. The grand galactic bad ass of all bad asses. In truth? An old, bitter, crazy ass nutjob with a box of grenades, and apparently no other powers or defenses. REALLY great conflict there. Oh, but how do we get rid of him? Insert Patrick Danville (from "Insomnia", like he was a character anybody gave a fuck about) into the story to "write him out"! Man, the second time reading all this, it just reads as SO FUCKING STUPID.
The whole Dandelo thing? I tell you this - the Roland of the first three DT novels would have NEVER fallen for that stupid shit. Just fucking gay, period.
Oh, and where was the promised encounters with Mother Abigail, Jack Sawyer, Parkus, etc.? Non-existant, apparently, unless my copy of DT7 was missing a few pages...more over, speaking of old characters, Roland seemed very disinterested in seeing Sheemie again, nor did he even seem to really care once Sheemie died just a few pages after he was reintroduced. What was the deal with that?
Where was the conflict here? It was virtually NON-EXISTANT. Any problem they ran into was solved miraculously within a few pages at the very most (after hundreds of pages worth of build up to get you there). Cheap. Very cheap.
The other thing I've gotta rant about was his little ongoing commentary with the reader. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but frankly I think I'm smart enough to be able to follow a story without having to have Steve-O draw a picture for me. And is it just me, or does the whole running commentary seem very bitter and insulting? Seriously, the second time reading it, I felt as if he was angry at ME personally for reading his book! Oh, and the verbage used is something else entirely...the upshot I got from it all is "Don't read any further, or you'll be SOOORRRYYY!!" So, of course, you do read further, as he knows you will since you just spent 30 fuckin bucks on his book, and what does he give you when you do read further and you ARE sorry for doing it? "Neener neener neener, that's what you get! But don't blame me or send me angry letters 'cuz this is what you wanted, you pricks!" He may as well have said as much, because that's about the impression I was left with after the re-read.
Honestly, I really think Stephen King is a broken down, bitter asshole and I'm almost sorry for having re-read the series - based on the way the series was going up til "The Waste Lands", I honestly believe that he just chucked whatever vision he had of where he wanted it to go (and, regardless of whether or not he says otherwise, I'm POSITIVE he had some idea of what he was going to do with it, ALWAYS did) and just threw something together for the sake of getting it done quicker. I tell ya, the whole saga was REALLY lost somewhere along the way, and by the flow of the story, I'd say it was after his accident, because NOTHING from he's written "Wolves" up really strikes me as being even remotely caring, thoughtful, paced, or even remotely cared about.
Keep the vision? Fuck it, gimme expediancy or gimme death, I guess.
And, finally, DT7's "Found" Coda - fuck that piece of trash. A shocking heartbreaker and tearjerker just to try and move you, piss you off, or both, that's all that ending is. Considering the Tower is obviously sentient, wouldn't it stand to reason that it would be SOMEWHAT grateful to Roland for saving it? The only way that ending makes sense is if the Tower WANTS to fall and is pissed at Roland for saving it, OR the Tower has contempt for anyone who dares open the door at the top and punishes them in the worst way it can possibly fathom. Even as we speak, I'm currently re-writing it and making it the RIGHT ending; in this case, Stephen King saying his ending is the "right" ending and the "only" ending...he didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. What he SHOULD have done is leave the ending ambiguous - during his little commentary at the end, he should have said something along the lines of "I could tell you what's behind the door at the top of the Tower...or my idea of what's behind the door at the top of the Tower...but after coming all this way - you know what's behind that door already, don't you? Of course you do. Here, constant reader, is the key to the Tower - go open it, climb to the top, and enjoy what you find there." (The End). Or something of that nature.
Coming soon to this forum - "The Dark Tower 7: Found" - Fan Fiction by Bueno Bob. Stay tuned.... ;)