Spam!!

[Soul Reaper]

infamous spam!! :hagar1: :hagar3: :hagar2:

[flappo]

http://www.spam.com/assets/hp/GoodGone3_animation.gifhttp://www.spam.com/assets/hp/GoodGone3_animation.gif

http://www.spam.com/assets/hp/GoodGone3_animation.gif

http://www.spam.com/assets/hp/GoodGone3_animation.gif

http://www.spam.com/assets/hp/GoodGone3_animation.gif

http://www.spam.com/assets/hp/GoodGone3_animation.gif

http://www.spam.com/assets/hp/GoodGone3_animation.gif

http://www.spam.com/assets/hp/GoodGone3_animation.gif

http://www.spam.com/assets/hp/GoodGone3_animation.gif

http://www.spam.com/assets/hp/GoodGone3_animation.gif

http://www.spam.com/assets/hp/GoodGone3_animation.gif

http://www.spam.com/assets/hp/GoodGone3_animation.gif

[Soul Reaper]

spam spam spam spam spaaaaaaaaaam spaaaaaaaaam spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Matt White]

"egg bacon sausage and spam"

AND BEER!!!

"THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS"

[Anonymous]

I'll have a spam sandwich with no spam, please.

Cheers! :bottle:

[Soul Reaper]

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
I'll have a spam sandwich with no spam, please.

Cheers! :bottle:

Urrgh!

You can't have a spam sandwich without the spam.

[Redballjets88]

nice bucket head

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by Soul Reaper
Urrgh!

You can't have a spam sandwich without the spam.

Yes you can! You make a spam sandwich, then take out the spam. It's all I want, really. I don't want any spam.

Cheers! :bottle:

[classicdude]

Not in my inbox, not in my sandwich, and not on the ball-less "rock" station either. :hagar1: :elvis:

[canadiandlrgirl]

you guys think up some weird shit.....you are funny that is one of the reasons i love coming on here:D

[Soul Reaper]

Originally posted by Redballjets88
nice bucket head

it's very nice, isn't it


Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
you guys think up some weird shit.....you are funny that is one of the reasons i love coming on here:D

do you want spam with that?!

[bueno bob]

Spam is VERY well known in certain circles as "STONER FOOD".

Don't ask me how I know that.

Spam and I have had a previous relationship.

[Soul Reaper]

Did you know that spam backwards is maps?

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by Soul Reaper
Did you know that spam backwards is maps?

Astonishing! :)

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by Soul Reaper
it's very nice, isn't it



do you want spam with that?!
lmao!! no thnx:p

[Golden AWe]

.

[flappo]

this kinda thread PROVES that the army is the BEST FUCKING SITE on the net

hahah

TOTAL ANARCHY!


:D

[Soul Reaper]

it's a real spamification here

http://www.detritus.org/sounds/real/spam-skit.ra

[Figs]

Crucifixion? Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each...

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by Figs
Crucifixion? Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each...

Nah, I've just been pardoned.

Cheers! :bottle:

[Soul Reaper]

I'm only pulling your leg, it's crucifixtion

[Anonymous]

Oh, alright then. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each...

Cheers! :bottle:

[Golden AWe]

and then for something completely different

[Soul Reaper]

a cross dressing lumberjack

[Anonymous]

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea

Mounties:
He cut down trees, he eat his lunch
He go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he go shopping and has buttered scones for tea.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars?!

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa!

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels?!
Suspenders...and a bra?!

...He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

...He's/I'm a lumberjack and he's/I'm OK
He/I sleep all night and he/I work all day.

Cheers! :bottle:

[Soul Reaper]

hello there, do you have any cheese?

[Soul Reaper]

Customer: Good Morning.

Wenslydale: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium!

Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man.

Wenslydale: What can I do for you, Sir?

Customer: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through "Rogue Herrys" by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly
came over all peckish.

Wenslydale: Peckish, sir?

Customer: Esuriant.

Wenslydale: Eh?

Customer: 'Ee, Ah wor 'ungry-loike!

Wenslydale: Ah, hungry!

Customer: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated
your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles!

Wenslydale: Come again?

Customer: I want to buy some cheese.

[Soul Reaper]

Wenslydale: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player!

Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!

Wenslydale: Sorry?

Customer: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too!

Wenslydale: So he can go on playing, can he?

Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man.

Wenslydale: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?

Customer: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester.

Wenslydale: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.

Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?

Wenslydale: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.

Customer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.

Wenslydale: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.

[Soul Reaper]

Customer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese?

Wenslydale: Sorry, sir.

Customer: Red Windsor?

Wenslydale: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.

Customer: Ah. Stilton?

Wenslydale: Sorry.

Customer: Ementhal? Gruyere?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance.

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Lipta?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Lancashire?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: White Stilton?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Danish Brew?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Double Goucester?

Wenslydale: (pause) No.

Customer: Cheshire?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Dorset Bluveny?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson?

Wenslydale: No.

[Soul Reaper]

Customer: Camenbert, perhaps?

Wenslydale: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir.

Customer: (suprised) You do! Excellent.

Wenslydale: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...

Customer: Oh, I like it runny.

Wenslydale: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.

Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!

Wenslydale: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.

Customer: I don't care how fucking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.

Wenslydale: Oooooooooohhh........!

Customer: What now?

Wenslydale: The cat's eaten it.

Customer: (pause) Has he.

Wenslydale: She, sir.

(pause)

Customer: Gouda?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Edam?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Case Ness?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Smoked Austrian?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Japanese Sage Darby?

Wenslydale: No, sir.

Customer: You...do *have* some cheese, don't you?

Wenslydale: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got--

[Soul Reaper]

Customer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.

Wenslydale: Fair enough.

Customer: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.

Wenslydale: Yes?

Customer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!

Wenslydale: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.

(pause)

Customer: Greek Feta?

Wenslydale: Uh, not as such.

Customer: Uuh, Gorgonzola?

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Parmesan,

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Mozarella,

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Paper Cramer,

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Danish Bimbo,

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Czech sheep's milk,

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

Wenslydale: Not *today*, sir, no.

(pause)

Customer: Aah, how about Cheddar?

Wenslydale: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.

Customer: Not much ca--It's the single most popular cheese in the world!

[Soul Reaper]

Wenslydale: Not 'round here, sir.

Customer: and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah?

Wenslydale: 'Illchester, sir.

Customer: IS it.

Wenslydale: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.

Customer: Is it.

Wenslydale: It's our number one best seller, sir!

Customer: I see. Uuh...'Illchester, eh?

Wenslydale: Right, sir.

Customer: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'.

Wenslydale: I'll have a look, sir... nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.

[Soul Reaper]

Customer: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?

Wenslydale: Finest in the district!

Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.

Wenslydale: Well, it's so clean, sir!

Customer: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese....

Wenslydale: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.

Customer: Would it be worth it?

Wenslydale: Could be....

Customer: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF!

Wenslydale: Told you sir....

Customer: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Figures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me

Wenslydale: Yessir?

Customer: Have you in fact got any cheese here at all.

Wenslydale: Yes,sir.

Customer: Really?

(pause) Wenslydale: No. Not really, sir.

Customer: You haven't.

Wenslydale: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time,sir.

Customer: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.

Wenslydale: Right-o, sir.

The customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner.

Customer: What a *senseless* waste of human life.

[Anonymous]

Grate stuff, Soul Reaper. Wasn't familiar with that particular Python act. Isn't it fubnny that in a web site filled to the brim with old geezers only us young toddlers are acquainted with the work of these fine english chaps? Well, except for Golden AWe, of course. He loves Monty Python too, and he's almost thirty! :D

Cheers! :bottle:

[Soul Reaper]

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
Grate stuff, Soul Reaper. Wasn't familiar with that particular Python act. Isn't it fubnny that in a web site filled to the brim with old geezers only us young toddlers are acquainted with the work of these fine english chaps? Well, except for Golden AWe, of course. He loves Monty Python too, and he's almost thirty! :D

Cheers! :bottle:

if you're a toddler, i must be an embryo, lol

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by Soul Reaper
if you're a toddler, i must be an embryo, lol

Shhh! I like to make fun of old geezers but I hate when it turns against me. :rofl:

Cheers! :bottle:

[PumpedUpMidget]

Spam puffs are good around the holidays.