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Flash Bastard
01-02-2004, 06:29 PM
Have you ever seen the movie Office Space? My workplace is just like it is in the movie. I hate my job and I've been trying to get fired for some weeks now.

I come in late, leave early and take 2 hour lunches. No one seems to notice or care. Today I played video games all day and did zero work. No one noticed.

I can't think of any creative ways to get fired without being arrested or sued by someone. Anyone have any ideas?

Elitest
01-02-2004, 06:42 PM
try sabotaging the catering equipment

Flash Bastard
01-02-2004, 07:46 PM
Originally posted by Elitest
try sabotaging the catering equipment

We don't have any. Maybe I could go to work naked and drunk.

hmmmmmmmmm........

Mr Badguy
01-02-2004, 07:53 PM
You`re lucky.

I am a driver for one of Great Britain`s finest and oldest institutions (whom we won`t name) and I hate it.

Unfortunately I can`t pack it in thanks to my lovely wife, children and mortgage.

diamond den™
01-04-2004, 06:01 AM
Originally posted by Flash Bastard
Have you ever seen the movie Office Space? My workplace is just like it is in the movie. I hate my job and I've been trying to get fired for some weeks now.

I come in late, leave early and take 2 hour lunches. No one seems to notice or care. Today I played video games all day and did zero work. No one noticed.

I can't think of any creative ways to get fired without being arrested or sued by someone. Anyone have any ideas?

Don't get fired. Just do the job really half assed. That's my advice. :)

twonabomber
01-04-2004, 06:05 AM
take a dump on the copy machine. make sure the lid's up, then make copies and post them on everyone's desk.

Sarge
01-04-2004, 07:51 AM
Send the boss a fax of your ass..

Seshmeister
01-04-2004, 02:09 PM
Originally posted by Mr Badguy
You`re lucky.

I am a driver for one of Great Britain`s finest and oldest institutions (whom we won`t name) and I hate it.


Carstairs???:D

Cheers!

:gulp:

Panamark
01-05-2004, 03:45 AM
Originally posted by Flash Bastard
Have you ever seen the movie Office Space? My workplace is just like it is in the movie. I hate my job and I've been trying to get fired for some weeks now.

I come in late, leave early and take 2 hour lunches. No one seems to notice or care. Today I played video games all day and did zero work. No one noticed.

I can't think of any creative ways to get fired without being arrested or sued by someone. Anyone have any ideas?

Just get later and later and take longer and longer lunches. If they still dont fire you, fuckit ! You've got a great job !!

GAR
01-05-2004, 03:45 AM
If you wanna pull

GAR'S SPEC OPS CLANDESTINE OFFICE PISSING

..HERE'S WHAT CHA DO:

1. Go to the Lil' Boys Room
2. Take your empty lunch soda cup, and straw with you in the stall
3. Remove lid
4. Fill cup as much as possible
5. Replace lid.
6. Visiting victims' office or cubicle, you remove lid & scatter urine splashingly, aiming for the uppermost inaccessible corner of ceiling tiles and walls.
7. Dispose of unused drink container in the appropriate trash receptacle in/near victims' workspace.
8. Return to restroom and wash hands before leaving again.

This should succeed in getting you fired. Or beaten. THEN you can go to your doctor and sue for workmans' compensation and get double money: unemployment AND disability insurance.

Please consider the loving care which I chose to document this with all my e-Friends, by emailing this to others.

Tell them GAR7884@KNAC.COM wrote it, so I can dispose of THEIR eLove in the appropriate receptacle.

But remember I love you all here most because I shared it here first. >Gar

Mr Badguy
01-05-2004, 04:17 PM
Originally posted by Seshmeister
Carstairs???:D

Cheers!

:gulp:

I`ll just say that involves having to get up at 4:00 every morning.

Oh well, only about another 30 years until I retire.

SensibleShoes
01-05-2004, 04:23 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by GAR
If you wanna pull

[b]GAR'S SPEC OPS CLANDESTINE OFFICE PISSING

Now why in the world wouldn't you use feces????? Sometimes the way those cubes smell, you can't tell if you splash urine - I vote for SHIT!

How bout DOG SHIT? MY God if it becomes popular, I've just hit the jackpot on my retirement fund. 10 bucks a bag, peeple. Get you fired in no time.

Flash Bastard
01-05-2004, 08:37 PM
All of these are good ideas. I'll consider the ramifications of each one and choose appropriately.

Today I went to work at 11 and left at 2.

Mr Badguy
01-06-2004, 05:28 AM
Sheesh, a 15 hour shift!

That sucks, you must be a real company man.

twonabomber
01-06-2004, 05:51 AM
Originally posted by SensibleShoes
[QUOTE]Originally posted by GAR
If you wanna pull

[b]GAR'S SPEC OPS CLANDESTINE OFFICE PISSING

Now why in the world wouldn't you use feces????? Sometimes the way those cubes smell, you can't tell if you splash urine - I vote for SHIT!

How bout DOG SHIT? MY God if it becomes popular, I've just hit the jackpot on my retirement fund. 10 bucks a bag, peeple. Get you fired in no time.

go for the dog shit. don't leave any DNA in the victim's office.

Panamark
01-06-2004, 06:17 AM
Originally posted by Flash Bastard
All of these are good ideas. I'll consider the ramifications of each one and choose appropriately.

Today I went to work at 11 and left at 2.


And hopefully fitted in your lunchbreak too ! If they keep paying you for that, you got it made dude !!

BITEYOASS
01-06-2004, 03:51 PM
I've had 2 shitty civillian jobs in a row! The first one being a telemarketer for Buckmasters Deer Hunting association and the second being a banquet server at Embassy Suites. The last job made me work 12 to 15 hour shifts most of the time. Thank god I got activated a month after I quit! :)

Little Texan
01-06-2004, 11:14 PM
Fuck your boss's wife, make a video of it, and lay the video on your boss's desk with a note stating to play the tape. If that won't get you fired, NOTHING will!

Flash Bastard
01-06-2004, 11:54 PM
I'm going to continue working 3 hour days with 2 hour lunches for the time being until I can find a good job that I enjoy going to day in and day out. I have some interviews lined up.

And when it's time to leave my current employer, my supervisor will get a shit salad from yours truly.

Flash Bastard
01-07-2004, 12:00 AM
Originally posted by Little Texan
Fuck your boss's wife, make a video of it, and lay the video on your boss's desk with a note stating to play the tape. If that won't get you fired, NOTHING will!

The closest thing to a wife my boss ever had was his hand.

He's one of those computer geeks who never leaves the house.

One Voice
01-09-2004, 05:12 PM
If i could come in late ,leave early and take two hour lunches
i would stay where i was at.
This place must really suck.

Flash Bastard
01-09-2004, 05:23 PM
Originally posted by One Voice
If i could come in late ,leave early and take two hour lunches
i would stay where i was at.
This place must really suck.

Sitting in a cube all day gets old. It's sucking the life out of me.

Flash Bastard
02-01-2004, 12:15 AM
We we last saw this thread I was stuck in a shitass job in the I.T. field. Much has happened since then.

I quit. On the way out the door I whipped out the ole pecker and pissed in the fountain that sits in our reception area.

Anyhooo.... I got a nice job with a government contractor. Basically I work for the Air Force in a high security job dealing with missle defense systems.

The problem is... I'm the youngest employee there and I feel slightly isolated. Wait wait wait... let me back up a bit.

As a child I was what they call 'gifted'. I graduated high school at 14 and college at 18. So almost my entire life has been spent amongst those older than me. I never really was allowed to be a kid. Not that I'm really complaining....

So anyway... i'm finally in a job I love, even though some people still won't take me seriously. Fuck 'em, I say.

My dick is bigger than theirs. :)

Flash Bastard
02-01-2004, 12:50 AM
Sarge, that spell check isn't working right. I'm counting two misspelled words.

Goddamn Jim Beam. Makes you stupid and shit and stuff.

Julius
02-01-2004, 01:36 AM
Being stupid makes you spell shit wrong. Moron.

Viking
02-01-2004, 01:42 AM
Come in late?

Leave early?

2 hour lunches?

Play video games all day?

If you're getting more than $15 an hour to do it, consider yourself on a paid vacation. :D :D :D

Flash Bastard
02-01-2004, 05:38 PM
Originally posted by Julius
Being stupid makes you spell shit wrong. Moron.

Ahh Julius....

Who's drunken alter-ego are you?