View Full Version : The Official Rotharmy Injury Report sponsored by Maximus
Since I'm the resident injury masta from either fuckin' around, being a klutz or playin' a bit too hard I thought we could all both share our pain and lick our collective wounds together. Just like a team's sports page. :D So share your paper cuts, menstrual cramps, constipation, blood from flossing your teeth for the first time in over a decade or the stitches from getting your ass kicked the night prior in heeya. Anything and whateva could make for grate reading cos we're all crazy fuckers who like to laugh at the expense of someone else's suffering. lol Also, old injury stories are also welcome. I have plenty and will share all.
Anyhoo, I'll get the pain started.....
Yesterday I smacked my shin so fucking hard into the trailer hitch behind my Suburban it left a huge black and blue goose egg and welt. Very gross and disgusting but yet another battlescar and cool nonetheless.
Today I was weed-wackin' the borders around the property line next to my fucking worthless neighbors. I was all good to go with my protective eyewear and shit. Howeva, a fucking pebble flew a couple hundred miles an hour smack dab into my cheek. Didn't break the skin but there was bleeding underneath. Now I have a spot on my beloved mug that makes me look like "John-Boy" from The Walton's. lol.
All of this after the busted ribs fiasco. lol.
SweetSecrets
06-19-2005, 01:47 PM
Originally posted by MAX
Now I have a spot on my beloved mug that makes me look like "John-Boy" from The Walton's. lol.
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
What a perfect visual! LOL!
I hope your "John-Boy" cheek heals nicely.
academic punk
06-19-2005, 01:53 PM
I haven't had an erection since late 1986.
Ally_Kat
06-19-2005, 02:09 PM
something's up with my one leg cuz after runningaroudn everywhere at work yesterday, I can barely walk.
Golden AWe
06-19-2005, 02:10 PM
Today I woke up around 2 PM after drinking heavily last night...a grrrl I know asked me to join her for a few beers on the sunny terrace...
I had to go, even if I felt a bit sick, I told her "15 minutes and I'll be there", so I washed my teeth and took a shower, and got there...
The best comment that can be said to me was "you look like a rockstar"
Well, I did burn my skin in the sun...
Also, my brains started to melt when another beautiful grrrl joined us...they started talking about rubbing nipples before topless sunbathing...I felt sick, I felt "this is too much for my innocent little mind, beautiful grrrls and the beautiful, hot weather..."
DLR7884
06-19-2005, 02:31 PM
I have a pilonidal cyst.
It hurts like shit, it flared up on Monday and on Tuesday I had to go to my Dr. and get it lanced and drained.
DLR7884
It fucking sucks.
academic punk
06-19-2005, 02:36 PM
Originally posted by DLR7884
I have a pilonidal cyst.
What the hell is that? It sounds like exotic birds in Singapore when they're in formation or something...
DLR7884
06-19-2005, 02:41 PM
Pilonidal Cyst (http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003253.htm)
DLR7884
Enjoy!
academic punk
06-19-2005, 02:44 PM
Ah. So you had a pain in the ass, huh?
Why not go for total excision?
DLR7884
06-19-2005, 02:50 PM
The problem is that when it flares up, it tends to get infected. My doctor won't operate until the cyst has been dormant for a while.
In the summer time, I tend to sweat quite a bit from running, doing yardwork, etc.....the sweat causes it to flare up.
So, the plan is to get it excised in the fall.
DLR7884
I can't wait to get this fucker out!
The Scatologist
06-19-2005, 02:55 PM
Well, I was running into a wall for fun, then some topless total babe appeared out of nowhere and then I ran into the wall with a boner!
canadiandlrgirl
06-19-2005, 03:30 PM
Originally posted by academic punk
I haven't had an erection since late 1986. LMAO that's gotta suck:p
diamondsgirl
06-19-2005, 04:39 PM
A bug flew in my eye last week. :(
It was pretty nasty because I couldn't get it out and it broke into peices. I got it all out and flushed my eye but it was red and irritated for days.
thome
06-19-2005, 04:47 PM
Originally posted by The Scatologist
Well, I was running into a wall for fun, then some topless total babe appeared out of nowhere and then I ran into the wall with a boner!
dont drop that sh$t dont smoke that dont touch that sh%^t
YOULL BLOW THE WHOLE HOUSE UP!
academic punk
06-20-2005, 11:45 AM
I belive I'm nursing a broken heart.
My girlfriend and I broke up (AGAIN) this past week.
It's weird: we pissed each other off often enough where you should just feel fine, and I *know* that I don't want to get back together, but after a weekend of not being around each other, I'm sitting here, and everything seems just that little bit blanker.
Fuck.
diamondsgirl
06-20-2005, 01:57 PM
Originally posted by academic punk
I belive I'm nursing a broken heart.
My girlfriend and I broke up (AGAIN) this past week.
It's weird: we pissed each other off often enough where you should just feel fine, and I *know* that I don't want to get back together, but after a weekend of not being around each other, I'm sitting here, and everything seems just that little bit blanker.
Fuck.
Awwwww....sweetie...
Time will heal your heart, I promise. :)
Katydid
06-20-2005, 02:11 PM
I cleared off the roadbank by the old road behind the house. Had a lot of saw brier scratches. And here a week later break out here and there with poison oak or poison ivy.
fryingdutchman
06-21-2005, 04:57 AM
I'm having back spasms since I had to do TWO FUCKING COATS of sealer on my driveway.
55 gallons of that SHIT to throw around in 5 gallon pails...and then hunching the fuck over for 6 hours to spread it out.
I need muscle relaxers.
diamondsgirl
06-21-2005, 09:22 AM
Originally posted by fryingdutchman
I'm having back spasms since I had to do TWO FUCKING COATS of sealer on my driveway.
55 gallons of that SHIT to throw around in 5 gallon pails...and then hunching the fuck over for 6 hours to spread it out.
I need muscle relaxers.
I hurt my back too..
rollerblading and went very fast over a good size bump, never even saw it coming
at least I stayed on my feet :D
diamondsgirl
06-21-2005, 09:24 AM
Originally posted by MAX
. Just like a team's sports page. :D So share your paper cuts, menstrual cramps... .
I got both of those too :(
Golden AWe
06-21-2005, 03:49 PM
this will heal your wounds...
http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=23043
blonddgirl777
06-21-2005, 06:09 PM
Smoking too much Canabis (on a rergular basis), in my 20's has fucked up my sleeping pattern.
Since I refuse to go on sleeping pills...
I haven't slept more than a 5 hour night in about 10 years!!!
I still function normally but sometimes, I feel like taking a nap in the middle of the after-noon (most of the time, it's impossible).
Eaven if I don't smoke anymore, I'm afraid I will never sleep more than 5 hours a night again!
guwapo_rocker
06-21-2005, 06:31 PM
Keep this going, we might need it Friday night.
I hope not.:D
LoungeMachine
06-21-2005, 10:20 PM
Originally posted by academic punk
I haven't had an erection since late 1986.
Right around the time they outlawed public sex with turtles:D
damn fascists:cool:
LoungeMachine
06-21-2005, 10:23 PM
Originally posted by DLR7884
I have a pilonidal cyst.
It hurts like shit, it flared up on Monday and on Tuesday I had to go to my Dr. and get it lanced and drained.
DLR7884
It fucking sucks.
Sharing has it's limits:eek:
...or at least it should:cool:
scottydabodi
06-21-2005, 10:26 PM
I was bangin this dame, and she was on top, and m'dick slipped out just as she came down, and it bent my dick all CRAZY-LIKE... that hurt like a mothafucka!!
OWW!!!!!
academic punk
06-21-2005, 10:34 PM
Originally posted by LoungeMachine
Right around the time they outlawed public sex with turtles:D
Alas, the truth hurts...
I hate you, Ronald Reagan!
Originally posted by academic punk
I hate you, Ronald Reagan!
Eh, shaaadup ya fuckin' liberal pussy.
Originally posted by MAX
Eh, shaaadup ya fuckin' liberal pussy.
Star Wars Iran Contra Arms Escalation Nicaragua Panama Corruption Uneducated Idiot Max?
Originally posted by Rikk
Star Wars Iran Contra Arms Escalation Nicaragua Panama Corruption Uneducated Idiot Max?
This is stupid cos I could list a thousand pros the man did and it wouldn't change what you think so why insult me? Seriously, enough. :mad:
Originally posted by MAX
This is stupid cos I could list a thousand pros the man did and it wouldn't change what you think so why insult me? Seriously, enough. :mad:
Fuck that. Quit crying like a child. If you want to state publicly that you love George Bush or Ronald Reagan, others are able to happily list reasons they think each man is responsible for a lot of bloodshed and economic trouble. Don't even hint at politics if you're gonna cry when disagreed with.
Seriously, brother...we're not fighting. But you've gotta quit taking every little jab at you so personally.:rolleyes:
Rikk,
A legitimate question was asked by Lounge in that thread. I simply stated that I was Pro-Bush. Didn't state my reasons as to why (which I rarely do) and YOU were the one that went off calling me both "stupid" and an "idiot" while naming your reasons for your opinion. I'm neither crying nor whining either. I simply see no need for this forum to go into that. Isn't that what The Front Line is for?
Seriously, chill cos I just stated that I don't wish to go down such a path in Non. :)
Get thicker skin, MAXIMUS. I call anyone I want an "idiot". If I think your opinion is an idiot, suck it up and disagree with me or call me an idiot back. Didn't you jump into the PEN today and call people "dorks" for no reason? Nobody's feelings were hurt. Nobody gave a shit. Nobody cried like a little child. So learn to get thicker skin because anyone can call you an idiot if they want to and you have the same freedom.
My gosh Rikk,
You're blowing this way out of proportion. Heck, if being called an "idiot" or a "dumbass" truly bothered me, I'd have been gone a loooooooong time ago. Fuck, I seem to be called that several times a day. Tis' when a political agenda is tagged behind it.
In Lounge's thread everyone is given their own opportunity to say WHY they don't like Bush. I simply stated that I support him without giving reasons.
freak
06-21-2005, 11:07 PM
I woke up sore, as usual, from past injuries.
Crushed right foot, compound fracture of both bones in left forearm, broken tibial spine (knee), Right hand broken too many times to count, three lung collapses and a gunshot wound to the head.
Winter is fun.
Real fun.
I sound like a fucking bowl of Rice Krispies when I move.
Originally posted by MAX
In Lounge's thread everyone is given their own opportunity to say WHY they don't like Bush. I simply stated that I support him without giving reasons.
Brother MAX,
LOUNGE's thread is about being a Devil's Advocate. Maybe you've never heard of the term, but it means taking the stance that you don't normally hold and arguing for it. In other words, people that DON'T support Bush saying good things about him. Do you NOT support Bush normally?
Anyway, you're the one whining about what's enough, etc. All I did is call you an idiot. Go buy some tissues. You just look whiny and I'm still looking for a right-fielder.
Whatever Rikk and I'm not fucking whining. Again, I simply stated I do not wanna go down a political arguement with you or anyone else in this particular forum. Make sense?
How about you and I shut the fuck up and split a beeya? Sound cool enough? :cool: I hope so, cos I'm done talking politics, you fucking idiot. ;) :)
blonddgirl777
06-21-2005, 11:30 PM
Help!!!!
I'm afraid I WILL get hurt for coming in between Rikk and Max's argument on the "Devil's Advocate" thread...
blonddgirl777
06-21-2005, 11:31 PM
Originally posted by blonddgirl777
"...coming in between Rikk and Max..."
Well...
THAT was a weird thing to post!!!
:rolleyes:
Originally posted by blonddgirl777
"...coming in between Rikk and Max..."
Frankly, I wouldn't complain if you were...;)
Don't worry...the Republican MAXI is just letting off some steam because W's approval rating is at its lowest and more American disagree with MAX than agree with him.:D
But seriously, it's all good. I'm not fighting. I'm amused!:)
thome
06-21-2005, 11:41 PM
Am i missing something here tis isnt that thred
I could swear it sias" injury report"
FasterPussycat
06-21-2005, 11:45 PM
Originally posted by DLR7884
Pilonidal Cyst (http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003253.htm)
DLR7884
Enjoy!
Don't you ever again tell me to eat your stinky ass, you skank!!!:asshole:
:D
Originally posted by thome
Am i missing something here tis isnt that thred
I could swear it sias" injury report"
True dat. :)
I just injured my liver from reading all of Rikki's shit. My beeyas kicked it's ass. That should count for something? lol
Originally posted by MAX
True dat. :)
I just injured my liver from reading all of Rikki's shit. My beeyas kicked it's ass. That should count for something? lol
:p
http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/attachment.php?s=&postid=512884
thome
06-21-2005, 11:51 PM
ahhite nah play nice
Originally posted by Rikk
:p
http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/attachment.php?s=&postid=512884
LMAO!!!
:D :D :D
Doesn't it look like the stormtrooper to Darth's right is about to start fingering him?
Yeah,
Is that Bill Lumbergh? :eek:
Yeah, it is. He was really frustrated at the time because George Michael hadn't begun his career yet. So BILL was just waiting for the first WHAM album to come out.
LMAO!!!
So he smoked other butts while hoping he'd get probed by the dark side.
academic punk
06-22-2005, 10:47 AM
Originally posted by MAX
This is stupid cos I could list a thousand pros the man did and it wouldn't change what you think so why insult me? Seriously, enough. :mad:
THE MAN IS A GOON!!! HE OUTLAWED TURTLE FUCKING!!! END OF CONVERSATION!!!
LoungeMachine
06-22-2005, 10:51 AM
Originally posted by academic punk
THE MAN IS A GOON!!! HE OUTLAWED TURTLE FUCKING!!! END OF CONVERSATION!!!
Scofflaw!!
Originally posted by academic punk
THE MAN IS A GOON!!! HE OUTLAWED TURTLE FUCKING!!! END OF CONVERSATION!!!
He also liked jellybeans so enough!!! :mad: This thread is supposed to be about injuries so unless The Gipper broke your heart, shaaaaaddduuuuuup. :)
Keeyth
06-22-2005, 07:08 PM
George Bush gave my country a black eye! Does that count as an injury? :D
Fuck, I was hoping that when I initially started this thread that it would lift my jinx of getting injured. Howeva, no such luck. :mad:
Anyway, Superklutz a.k.a. your own and beloved Maximus just fucked himself up once again. Jeesh, I swear since I turned thirty someone has put a curse on me with some bad, wicked and evil voodoo-doo. I was at a friend's house yesterday afternoon (he's building a tempered red wine cellar) and he proceeded to accidentally drop a magnum of cabernet on my foot. Didn't hurt that bad at first but now the swelling is insane, tis' discolored, been icing it for hours and now I can hardly friggin' walk. It's more where the big toe joints with the foot.
I went into Emergency this morning cos my pain was so fucking severe I wanted to get it checked out cos my foot was throbbing all night and I maybe sneaked in about an hour and half dance with the sandman.
I lucked out and it just ended up being a severely sprained foot. Howeva, where the sprain occurred happens to be on one of the most sensitive pressure points on the body. I've broken my foot before along with my ankle and this sprain pain made those prior fractures feel like a slight spank on my gluteus maximus. lol.
The cool thing was is that while I was at the hospital they gave me a huge shot Demerol (sp?) and I've NEVA been that friggin' doped up in my life. I was soooo fucked up for hours. :dork: Now all I have to do is stay off my feet for two to three days, use crutches and take a bunch of meds which includes steroids and Perkacets. The doc says they are the strongest dose of that pain killer. What's weird though is cos the throbbing in my foot is so strong, I don't feel any high from the perk's.
Finally, I hope all of you soldiers have a stellar holiday weekend and that your family and friends are all safe and enjoy the fuck out of yourselves.
Late
Brother brother brother...you gotta be careful, fucker. But how could you have controlled this one, I guess? Sheeit.
Get well, brudda.
Thanks Rikk. :)
I'm just so friggin' relieved that it's only a sprain cos I was convinced it would be a fracture due to the swelling, discoloration and throbbing pain.
Originally posted by MAX
Thanks Rikk. :)
I'm just so friggin' relieved that it's only a sprain cos I was convinced it would be a fracture due to the swelling, discoloration and throbbing pain.
I still think this is an injury from homosexual experimentation, but I'll half-accept your official story for now.
Originally posted by Rikk
I still think this is an injury from homosexual experimentation, but I'll half-accept your official story for now.
Nope, I think you're cuntfusing me with Bill Lumbergh. The only semi-homosexual festivities that I've ever participated in involve a certain and well known male goat. :p
MMMBAAAAAAAA........ MMMMBAAAAAAAAAAAA..............
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