Ally_Kat
06-22-2005, 11:40 PM
And now for life on the Oregon trail starring --
Hilary, a banker from Boston
Bryan
Lisa
Larry
Stephen
Starting out March 1st, 1848
12 oxen
20 sets of clothes
8 boxes of ammo
3 wagon wheels
3 wagon axles
3 wagon tongues
1500 lbs of food
$754 left
March 7th - we reach the Kansas River. We caulk it up and get across safely
March 13th - we reach Big Blue River crossing and decide to ford it because it's only 3 feet deep. But apparently that is not shallow enough and we end up losing 3 oxen. Larry also breaks his leg, so we rest for a day.
March 21st - we reach Fort Kearney.
March 25th - One of the oxen pulled something. We rest for the day.
April 5th - we reach Chimney Rock. Lisa and Stephen insist on taking their pictures in front of it.
April 10th - we reached Fort Laramie
April 16th - we lost the trail. this is what happens when Larry handles the map. We lost a day. Stephen contemplates breaking his other leg.
April 17th - despite being a city slicker, I am able to shoot a buffalo, much to Bryan's dismay and craving for squirrel. From it we get 908 lbs of meat, but are only able to carry back 100 lbs, even with a wagon filled mostly of men. We suck.
April 21st - Stephen acted upon his thoughts. Larry has a broken arm.
April 25th - Larry is lost and we spend 5 days trying to find him. Now I'm considering breaking his legs.
May 1st - we lost the trail and took 3 days to find it again
May 7th - we reach Independence Rock and go for a lil huting. We didn't get anything cuz the animals hate us. Walking back sad, we bumped into another wagon group and tradeda wagon tongue for 34 lbs of food.
May 9th - found some wild fruit. We're rocking the food now.
May 12th - we find an abandoned wagon, but it's empty. Larry mumbles something about wagon zombies.
May 18th - we arrive at South Pass. When the trail splits, we roll a dice and head towards to the Green River crossing.
May 20th - one of hte oxen has died. Bryan mentions something about steak for dinner.
May 21st - a thief comes along and steals 3 oxen. How the hell did he do that without us seeing?
May 23rd -- we come to the Green River crossing. Seeing how it's 20 ft deep, we take a ferry across. We have to wait 2 days and pay $5 for it.
May 25th - we get across the river safely
May 30th - Lisa has a fever, and it's not for cowbell. We rest a day.
June 9th - we reach Soda Springs.
June 13th - I shot a deer and got 53 lbs of meat. I was honestly trying to get Bryan some squirrel.
June 16th - Larry has his revenge and Stephen ends up with a broken arm.
June 19th - we get to Fort Hall.
June 20th - I got a deer and another 65 lbs of meat.
June 21st - I got another deer and a squirrel for Bryan -- 56 pounds in total.
June 23rd - Bryan was so giddy from his squirrel that he got lost from the group. Cost us 5 days.
June 29th - our axle broke. I tried fixing it, but I suck. We went into the wagon and got a spare.
July 1st - Bryan makes shadow puppets against the wagon cover for Stephen's birthday party.
July 2nd - wild fruit, which is a Godsend as we ran out of food! Time to go hunting.
July 3rd - I try hunting. Didn't get anything.
July 4th - back to hunting before I see "Larry dies of starvation." Wait...
July 5th - back to hunting. Got a squirrel for a whopping pound of meat.
July 9th - more hunting. Got two squirrels for 5 pounds of meat.
July 15th - we meet a dude who wants one set of clothing for 42 lbs of food. We accept and go hunting again.
July 21st - this guy wants a wheel for 33 lbs of food. Food's food.
July 22nd - rough trail
July 23rd - one of the oxen hurt themselves. we rest a day.
July 27th - Lisa spends her birthday wish on finding wild fruit.
July 30th - again with no food, and feeling pretty crappy, we reach the Snake River crossing. We meet a dude who wants a wagon tongue for 31 lbs of food. We take it.
July 31st - the river is 6.6 ft deep and the one guy we talked to said the river was pretty rough with crafts. We can't help ourselves from hiring an Injun. Bryan gets all sentimental about his Injun roots and the two end up re-enacting Dances with Wolves.
August 2nd - rough trail again.
August 3rd - i shot a bear. I got 155 lbs of meat but was only able to carry back 100 lbs to the wagon.
August 4th - I got a squirrel for Bryan and a deer for the rest of us, 67 lbs in general. No wild fruit found yet for Lisa, our poor vegetarian. Larry gives her tips in anorexia.
August 6th - one of the oxen has died.
August 9th - Stephen has exhaustion
August 12th - we found wild fruit. Lisa is so happy that she gets to eat again. August 13th - heavy fog. Bryan sighs, telling us it reminds him of home.
August 14th - we reach Fort Boise. I get 4 oxen and 600 lbs of food.
August 19th - we head back out on the trail.
August 22nd - more wild fruit. Lisa is thrilled
August 24th - nothing happens on Larry's birthday, just like last year.
August 30th - Wrong trail. We get lost for 3 days
September 3rd - lost the trail and another 3 days.
September 7th - heavy fog. Bryan contemplates about the Appalachian mountains and his squirrel pies.
September 8th - we reach the Blue Mountains and look around. pur-tee. We take the trail to the Dalles.
September 9th - heavy fog cuases us to lose a day. Larry sings happy birthday to my mom. Lisa, while enjoying the show, tripped and broke her leg. Nothing unusual for Lisa. After that, the trail become impossible and we lose two days.
September 12th - Happy Birthday Bryan!
September 13th - we find some fruit! woo hoo!
September 20th - more fruit!
September 23rd - we hit the Dalles. Super Fun! I'm a moron and decide to float down the river. I have no idea wtf I am doing and hit the shore. We lose one ox, 17 sets of clothing ( I thinks that's all of them) and 268 lbs of food. Larry hits me for being so dumb and Bryan mutters something about the Boy Scouts. I hit the shore again and we lost another ox, a wagon wheel, 101 lbs of food and Larry. Sorry Larry.
awh fuck! we hit a rock. We lost 2 more oxen, 1 wheel, 1 axle, a tongue, 41 lbs of food. Stephen and Bryan have drowned. Me and Lisa agree to put the incident in our novel, Little Wagon on the Trail.
September 24th - me and Lisa make it to sunny Oregon.
2 people in poor health 600
1 wagon 50
3 oxen 12
0 spare parts 0
0 clothes 0
116 bullets 2
18 lbs of food 0
$389 77
losing your 3 top
guys in the river
minutes away from
your destination priceless
d/l oregon trail (http://www.classicgaming.com/rotw/roms/otrail.zip)
emulator needed (http://www.classicgaming.com/vault/emulators/appleemu.AppleWin69.shtml)
And remember -- the worse you do, the funnier it is!
Hilary, a banker from Boston
Bryan
Lisa
Larry
Stephen
Starting out March 1st, 1848
12 oxen
20 sets of clothes
8 boxes of ammo
3 wagon wheels
3 wagon axles
3 wagon tongues
1500 lbs of food
$754 left
March 7th - we reach the Kansas River. We caulk it up and get across safely
March 13th - we reach Big Blue River crossing and decide to ford it because it's only 3 feet deep. But apparently that is not shallow enough and we end up losing 3 oxen. Larry also breaks his leg, so we rest for a day.
March 21st - we reach Fort Kearney.
March 25th - One of the oxen pulled something. We rest for the day.
April 5th - we reach Chimney Rock. Lisa and Stephen insist on taking their pictures in front of it.
April 10th - we reached Fort Laramie
April 16th - we lost the trail. this is what happens when Larry handles the map. We lost a day. Stephen contemplates breaking his other leg.
April 17th - despite being a city slicker, I am able to shoot a buffalo, much to Bryan's dismay and craving for squirrel. From it we get 908 lbs of meat, but are only able to carry back 100 lbs, even with a wagon filled mostly of men. We suck.
April 21st - Stephen acted upon his thoughts. Larry has a broken arm.
April 25th - Larry is lost and we spend 5 days trying to find him. Now I'm considering breaking his legs.
May 1st - we lost the trail and took 3 days to find it again
May 7th - we reach Independence Rock and go for a lil huting. We didn't get anything cuz the animals hate us. Walking back sad, we bumped into another wagon group and tradeda wagon tongue for 34 lbs of food.
May 9th - found some wild fruit. We're rocking the food now.
May 12th - we find an abandoned wagon, but it's empty. Larry mumbles something about wagon zombies.
May 18th - we arrive at South Pass. When the trail splits, we roll a dice and head towards to the Green River crossing.
May 20th - one of hte oxen has died. Bryan mentions something about steak for dinner.
May 21st - a thief comes along and steals 3 oxen. How the hell did he do that without us seeing?
May 23rd -- we come to the Green River crossing. Seeing how it's 20 ft deep, we take a ferry across. We have to wait 2 days and pay $5 for it.
May 25th - we get across the river safely
May 30th - Lisa has a fever, and it's not for cowbell. We rest a day.
June 9th - we reach Soda Springs.
June 13th - I shot a deer and got 53 lbs of meat. I was honestly trying to get Bryan some squirrel.
June 16th - Larry has his revenge and Stephen ends up with a broken arm.
June 19th - we get to Fort Hall.
June 20th - I got a deer and another 65 lbs of meat.
June 21st - I got another deer and a squirrel for Bryan -- 56 pounds in total.
June 23rd - Bryan was so giddy from his squirrel that he got lost from the group. Cost us 5 days.
June 29th - our axle broke. I tried fixing it, but I suck. We went into the wagon and got a spare.
July 1st - Bryan makes shadow puppets against the wagon cover for Stephen's birthday party.
July 2nd - wild fruit, which is a Godsend as we ran out of food! Time to go hunting.
July 3rd - I try hunting. Didn't get anything.
July 4th - back to hunting before I see "Larry dies of starvation." Wait...
July 5th - back to hunting. Got a squirrel for a whopping pound of meat.
July 9th - more hunting. Got two squirrels for 5 pounds of meat.
July 15th - we meet a dude who wants one set of clothing for 42 lbs of food. We accept and go hunting again.
July 21st - this guy wants a wheel for 33 lbs of food. Food's food.
July 22nd - rough trail
July 23rd - one of the oxen hurt themselves. we rest a day.
July 27th - Lisa spends her birthday wish on finding wild fruit.
July 30th - again with no food, and feeling pretty crappy, we reach the Snake River crossing. We meet a dude who wants a wagon tongue for 31 lbs of food. We take it.
July 31st - the river is 6.6 ft deep and the one guy we talked to said the river was pretty rough with crafts. We can't help ourselves from hiring an Injun. Bryan gets all sentimental about his Injun roots and the two end up re-enacting Dances with Wolves.
August 2nd - rough trail again.
August 3rd - i shot a bear. I got 155 lbs of meat but was only able to carry back 100 lbs to the wagon.
August 4th - I got a squirrel for Bryan and a deer for the rest of us, 67 lbs in general. No wild fruit found yet for Lisa, our poor vegetarian. Larry gives her tips in anorexia.
August 6th - one of the oxen has died.
August 9th - Stephen has exhaustion
August 12th - we found wild fruit. Lisa is so happy that she gets to eat again. August 13th - heavy fog. Bryan sighs, telling us it reminds him of home.
August 14th - we reach Fort Boise. I get 4 oxen and 600 lbs of food.
August 19th - we head back out on the trail.
August 22nd - more wild fruit. Lisa is thrilled
August 24th - nothing happens on Larry's birthday, just like last year.
August 30th - Wrong trail. We get lost for 3 days
September 3rd - lost the trail and another 3 days.
September 7th - heavy fog. Bryan contemplates about the Appalachian mountains and his squirrel pies.
September 8th - we reach the Blue Mountains and look around. pur-tee. We take the trail to the Dalles.
September 9th - heavy fog cuases us to lose a day. Larry sings happy birthday to my mom. Lisa, while enjoying the show, tripped and broke her leg. Nothing unusual for Lisa. After that, the trail become impossible and we lose two days.
September 12th - Happy Birthday Bryan!
September 13th - we find some fruit! woo hoo!
September 20th - more fruit!
September 23rd - we hit the Dalles. Super Fun! I'm a moron and decide to float down the river. I have no idea wtf I am doing and hit the shore. We lose one ox, 17 sets of clothing ( I thinks that's all of them) and 268 lbs of food. Larry hits me for being so dumb and Bryan mutters something about the Boy Scouts. I hit the shore again and we lost another ox, a wagon wheel, 101 lbs of food and Larry. Sorry Larry.
awh fuck! we hit a rock. We lost 2 more oxen, 1 wheel, 1 axle, a tongue, 41 lbs of food. Stephen and Bryan have drowned. Me and Lisa agree to put the incident in our novel, Little Wagon on the Trail.
September 24th - me and Lisa make it to sunny Oregon.
2 people in poor health 600
1 wagon 50
3 oxen 12
0 spare parts 0
0 clothes 0
116 bullets 2
18 lbs of food 0
$389 77
losing your 3 top
guys in the river
minutes away from
your destination priceless
d/l oregon trail (http://www.classicgaming.com/rotw/roms/otrail.zip)
emulator needed (http://www.classicgaming.com/vault/emulators/appleemu.AppleWin69.shtml)
And remember -- the worse you do, the funnier it is!