Sexist Jokes

[Shaun Ponsonby]

Before we start, if there are any women who are going to complain about me starting this thread, I will say it in advance...I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

I'm only starting this thread because I was just switching DVDs and saw a feminest on TV...FUCK, I hate them.

[Nickdfresh]

What's the first thing a blond says after making love?


































































So....like what team are you guys on?

[Rikk]

Well...what's the fucking punchline?

[Rikk]

Oh...there it is. Don't I feel like the blonde.

[Nickdfresh]

LOL

How does a blond turn out the light before having sex?

































































By closing the car door.

Ba-bum-cha!

[Nickdfresh]

Why was there white out all over the computer screen?






























































The blond secretary kept making mistakes.

[Nickdfresh]

Why is a blond better than a computer?





































































It's good when a blond goes down on ya.'

[canadiandlrgirl]

boy i'm glad i'm not a blonde anymore

[SoldMySoul4RnR]

Whaddya do when your dishwasher stops working?























Smack her in the mouth!

[Rikk]

Originally posted by SoldMySoul4RnR
Whaddya do when your dishwasher stops working?
Smack her in the mouth!

:p

[SoldMySoul4RnR]

A man comes home to his girlfriend one day and says, "Baby, great news, pack your bags...I just won the lottery."

His girl is ecstatic and asks "What should I pack, beach gear or snow gear?"

The man screams back, "Doesn't matter...just GET THE FUCK OUT"

[Shaun Ponsonby]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

That's right!!

I was playing snooker the other night with this woman, she claimed to have won a number of competitions. So, I broke, and she said "I can clean up from here".

So, I said, "Good, you can start with the kitchen. After that you can make me a kebab."

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
boy i'm glad i'm not a blonde anymore

Well... I AM!!!

Butt, I'm not complaining...
I am used to "Blond Jokes", I laugh at them and will tell a couple here and there too.

When guys make jokes about blonds to me, I think: "Yeah... deep inside, he would probably appreciate to have his own blond (or any woman at all)"...

But when a chick (brunette or anythingelse) tells the same joke, in hope to offend me, I feel like telling her: "Shut the fuck up and stop highlighting your hair... so you might LOOK blond... It's not MY fault, if your B-friend is eyeing me..."!

L.O.L.
:p

[blonddgirl777]

Why do Blonds eaven bother wearing panties?...



















... To warm up their ankles!

[canadiandlrgirl]

what's a mans idea of foreplay?

















a half hour of begging:D

[canadiandlrgirl]

why do doctors smack babies butts right when they're born?


















to knock the penises off the smart ones......:D

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
why do doctors smack babies butts right when they're born?


















to knock the penises off the smart ones......:D


Ha!, Ha!, Ha!...
:D

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by blonddgirl777
Ha!, Ha!, Ha!...
:D

:D :D

[canadiandlrgirl]

A man is driving up a steep, narrow road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells "PIG!!!"

And the man immediatly leans out the window and replies "BITCH!!!"

They each continue on their way, and.......as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.....and dies immediatly.

If only men would listen:D

[SweetSecrets]

Two blondes were driving to Disneyworld....

suddenly they turn around and start heading back....why?














They saw a sign that read, "Disneyworld left".

(sorry, I know that is a horrible one) :)

[SweetSecrets]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
why do doctors smack babies butts right when they're born?



















to knock the penises off the smart ones......:D

That rocks!

[academic punk]

Why did the feminist cross the road?

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by SweetSecrets
That rocks!
:D

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by academic punk
Why did the feminist cross the road?

ok i kno i'm gonna regret askin' this.....
oh what the hell





why did the feminist cross the road?

[academic punk]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
why did the feminist cross the road?


To suck my dick.

[academic punk]

Know how many feminists it takes to change a light bulb?

[Rikk]

Originally posted by academic punk
To suck my dick.

:p

LMFAO!!!!!!

[Rikk]

Originally posted by academic punk
Know how many feminists it takes to change a light bulb?

How many Steinems does it take to change a light bulb?

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by academic punk
To suck my dick.
dammit....i should've known that was comin':mad:

[Rikk]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
dammit....i should've known that was comin':mad:

Yes. Yes it was.

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by Rikk
Yes. Yes it was.

you men all think with the wrong head!!



















but ain't nuttin' wrong with that:D

[Rikk]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
you men all think with the wrong head!! but ain't nuttin' wrong with that:D

I want to eat you out.;)

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by Rikk
I want to eat you out.;)

sure you do!!

[academic punk]

So how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two.

One to change the light bulb, the other...


...to suck my dick.

[SoldMySoul4RnR]

Okay this one's harsh....BUT, meh....

Why do women bleed?












































Because they deserve it!

[academic punk]

Why do feminists wear suspenders?

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by academic punk
Why do feminists wear suspenders?

ok...why?

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by SoldMySoul4RnR
Okay this one's harsh....BUT, meh....

Why do women bleed?












































Because they deserve it!

bite me :mad:

[academic punk]

Originally posted by academic punk
Why do feminists wear suspenders?

To keep their pants up...



...while they suck my dick.

[academic punk]

What did the feminist say while she was reading Cosmopolitan?

[candy]

Did you hear about the MIRACLE baby boy born last week?








He has a penis AND a brain. :D

[SoldMySoul4RnR]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
bite me :mad:

Just jokes CG ;)

[academic punk]

Originally posted by academic punk
What did the feminist say while she was reading Cosmopolitan?


Nothing.

She was busy sucking my dick.

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by SoldMySoul4RnR
Just jokes CG ;)
that's fine!! i'll get ya when you least expect it....:D lol

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by candy
Did you hear about the MIRACLE baby boy born last week?








He has a penis AND a brain. :D

it's about time another female responded...i was feeling a little bit out numbered:D

[academic punk]

Hey CG...do you know why are fire engines painted red?

[canadiandlrgirl]

is there a joke that doesn't involve someone sucking your dick AP:D

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by academic punk
Hey CG...do you know why are fire engines painted red?

you would too if someone was pulling on your hose all day....


something like that:D












HAHAHA Beat ya to the punch line AP:D

[academic punk]

Originally posted by academic punk
Hey CG...do you know why are fire engines painted red?



So feminists can suck my dick!!!

[academic punk]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
is there a joke that doesn't involve someone sucking your dick AP:D

Alas, these days the concept of me getting my dick sucked IS a joke.... :(

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by academic punk
So feminists can suck my dick!!!

you made that up:mad:
that's not how that joke goes:p

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by academic punk
Alas, these days the concept of me getting my dick sucked IS a joke.... :(

awe my heart bleeds for you:p

[academic punk]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
awe my heart bleeds for you:p


I'm touched.

[academic punk]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
awe my heart bleeds for you:p


And pardon me for saying so, but my cock is throbbing for you...

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by academic punk
I'm touched. :D

[academic punk]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
:D


These emoticon responses you keep giving are somehow really turning me on....

PLEASE GOD....don't let me have a fetish for emoticons...

feet...phone sex...whatever...just not emoticons...

[tjvhou812]

does it seem cold in here 2 you

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by academic punk
And pardon me for saying so, but my cock is throbbing for you...

how sweet! i'm touched;)

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by academic punk
These emoticon responses you keep giving are somehow really turning me on....

PLEASE GOD....don't let me have a fetish for emoticons...

feet...phone sex...whatever...just not emoticons...

:p ;) :D

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by tjvhou812
does it seem cold in here 2 you

yep :D

[academic punk]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
:p ;) :D


NOOOOO....MMMMMGOD....NOOOOOOOO...STOOOOOOPPPP!!!! !!!

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by academic punk
NOOOOO....MMMMMGOD....NOOOOOOOO...STOOOOOOPPPP!!!! !!! NOOOOOOOO:mad: :D

[academic punk]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
NOOOOOOOO:mad: :D



nononononononondon'tstopmoremoremoremorecomeonjust acouple oreemoticonsdon'tstopnowholyfuckohmygodjustafewmor e

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by academic punk
nononononononondon'tstopmoremoremoremorecomeonjust acouple oreemoticonsdon'tstopnowholyfuckohmygodjustafewmor e

sorry i'll quit:(

[academic punk]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
sorry i'll quit:(


nooooooooooookeepgoingdon'ttakemetotheedgewiththes eemoticonsandthenrunoff!!
givemeacoupleofbigsmileyemoticonsohgodpleaseplease pleaseandmayebonewiththeshadesdon'tstopnowwwwwwwww ww

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by academic punk
nooooooooooookeepgoingdon'ttakemetotheedgewiththes eemoticonsandthenrunoff!!
givemeacoupleofbigsmileyemoticonsohgodpleaseplease pleaseandmayebonewiththeshadesdon'tstopnowwwwwwwww ww

i wasn't gonna stop anywayz...
i'm just playin' with ya hon
:) ;) :D :p

[academic punk]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
i wasn't gonna stop anywayz...
i'm just playin' with ya hon
:) ;) :D :p



OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

[academic punk]

.......ooooooooohhhhhhh..........

[academic punk]

....I need a Kleenex....

[academic punk]

That was great! Thank God we did this in private and not on the open forums!

[canadiandlrgirl]

LMFAO:D

[academic punk]

;)

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by academic punk
;)

:o

[diamondsgirl]

this thread is kinky :)

[Rikk]

http://www.depts.drew.edu/lib/pics/GloriaSteinem.jpg

[diamondsgirl]

The family of a gravely ill patient has a meeting with his doctor.
The doctor informs them that they will need to perform an emergency brain transplant.
The family finds out that their insurance will not cover the procedure. They ask the doctor what their options are.
He tells them that they have two choices. They can put in a male brain or a female brain. He continues by giving them the cost of each. The male brain is $15,000, while the female brain is only $7,500.
As the family begins discussing the options, the little sister of the patient tugs on the doctors coat and asks "why does the female brain cost less than the male brain?"

The doctor explains "we discount the female brains because they've been used" :D

[thome]

Originally posted by Rikk
I want to eat you out.;)

Sorry i missed the first part is that the punch line?

[Rikk]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
The family of a gravely ill patient has a meeting with his doctor.
The doctor informs them that they will need to perform an emergency brain transplant.
The family finds out that their insurance will not cover the procedure. They ask the doctor what their options are.
He tells them that they have two choices. They can put in a male brain or a female brain. He continues by giving them the cost of each. The male brain is $15,000, while the female brain is only $7,500.
As the family begins discussing the options, the little sister of the patient tugs on the doctors coat and asks "why does the female brain cost less than the male brain?"

The doctor explains "we discount the female brains because they've been used" :D

:mad:

I do use my brain! How else would I get my erections every ten minutes?:mad:

[diamondsgirl]

every ten minutes you say???


hmmmm.........

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
The family of a gravely ill patient has a meeting with his doctor.
The doctor informs them that they will need to perform an emergency brain transplant.
The family finds out that their insurance will not cover the procedure. They ask the doctor what their options are.
He tells them that they have two choices. They can put in a male brain or a female brain. He continues by giving them the cost of each. The male brain is $15,000, while the female brain is only $7,500.
As the family begins discussing the options, the little sister of the patient tugs on the doctors coat and asks "why does the female brain cost less than the male brain?"

The doctor explains "we discount the female brains because they've been used" :D

hehehe... good one:D

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by thome
Sorry i missed the first part is that the punch line?

you don't wanna kno!!
;)

[MAX]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
every ten minutes you say???


hmmmm.........


DG,

Yooooo sooooooo craaaaazy. :p

Your pm box tis' full again. lol.

[canadiandlrgirl]

hey DG i love your avatar:)

[Shaun Ponsonby]

How do you know when a feminist is angry?

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby
How do you know when a feminist is angry?

how?

[academic punk]

Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby
How do you know when a feminist is angry?

Is the answer "if she's breathing"?

[Shaun Ponsonby]

I dunno, I'm ACTUALLY asking you...for future reference.

Hmmm, some nice thunder there.

This is how UK summers are.

[SoldMySoul4RnR]

Say gentlemen, how do you know when a lady's ready for sex?

[Redballjets88]

this guy walks into a bar



















and fucks ur mom

[SoldMySoul4RnR]

Originally posted by SoldMySoul4RnR
Say gentlemen, how do you know when a lady's ready for sex?

When YOU'VE got wood!

[SoldMySoul4RnR]

The definintion of eternity:

The time that elapses between when you cum and she leaves.