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kentuckyklira
07-28-2005, 02:04 PM
Some random Bible quotes!



9'Its (O)entrails, however, and its legs he shall wash with water And (P)the priest shall offer up in smoke all of it on the altar for a burnt offering, an offering by fire of (Q)a soothing aroma to the LORD

11'(S)He shall slay it on the side of the altar northward before the LORD, and Aaron's sons the priests shall sprinkle its blood around on the altar.

12'He shall then cut it into its pieces with its head and its (T)suet, and9'(H)If there is anyone who curses his father or his mother, he shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother, his bloodguiltiness is upon him.

10'(I)If there is a man who commits adultery with another man's wife, one who commits adultery with his friend's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

11'(J)If there is a man who lies with his father's wife, he has uncovered his father's nakedness; both of them shall surely be put to death, their bloodguiltiness is upon them.

12'(K)If there is a man who lies with his daughter-in-law, both of them shall surely be put to death; they have committed incest, their bloodguiltiness is upon them.

13'(L)If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltiness is upon them.

14'(M)If there is a man who marries a woman and her mother, it is immorality; both he and they shall be burned with fire, so that there will be no immorality in your midst.

15'(N)If there is a man who lies with an animal, he shall surely be put to death; you shall also kill the animal.

16'If there is a woman who approaches any animal to mate with it, you shall kill the woman and the animal; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltiness is upon them.

17'(O)If there is a man who takes his sister, his father's daughter or his mother's daughter, so that he sees her nakedness and she sees his nakedness, it is a disgrace; and they shall be cut off in the sight of the sons of their people. He has uncovered his sister's nakedness; he bears his guilt.

18'(P)If there is a man who lies with a menstruous woman and uncovers her nakedness, he has laid bare her flow, and she has exposed the flow of her blood; thus both of them shall be cut off from among their people.

the priest shall arrange them on the wood which is on the fire that is on the altar.

13'The entrails, however, and the legs he shall wash with water. And (U)the priest shall offer all of it, and offer it up in smoke on the altar; it is a burnt offering, an offering by fire of a soothing aroma to the LORD

15'The priest shall bring it to the altar, and wring off its head and offer it up in smoke on the altar; and its blood is to be drained out (W)on the side of the altar.

Laws about Animals for Food
1The LORD spoke again to Moses and to Aaron, saying to them,
2"Speak to the sons of Israel, saying, '(A)These are the creatures which you may eat from all the animals that are on the earth.

3'Whatever divides a hoof, thus making split hoofs, and chews the cud, among the animals, that you may eat.

4'Nevertheless, (B)you are not to eat of these, among those which chew the cud, or among those which divide the hoof: the camel, for though it chews cud, it does not divide the hoof, it is unclean to you.

5'Likewise, the shaphan, for though it chews cud, it does not divide the hoof, it is unclean to you;

6the rabbit also, for though it chews cud, it does not divide the hoof, it is unclean to you;

7and the pig, for though it divides the hoof, thus making a split hoof, it does not chew cud, it is unclean to you.

8'You shall not eat of their flesh nor touch their carcasses; they are unclean to you.

9'(C)These you may eat, whatever is in the water: all that have fins and scales, those in the water, in the seas or in the rivers, you may eat.

10'(D)But whatever is in the seas and in the rivers that does not have fins and scales among all the teeming life of the water, and among all the living creatures that are in the water, they are detestable things to you,

11and they shall be [a]abhorrent to you; you may not eat of their flesh, and their carcasses you shall detest.

12'Whatever in the water does not have fins and scales is abhorrent to you.

Laws of Motherhood
1Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying,
2"Speak to the sons of Israel, saying: 'When a woman gives birth and bears a male child, then she shall be unclean for seven days, (A)as in the days of her menstruation she shall be unclean.

3'On (B)the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin shall be circumcised.

4'Then she shall remain in the blood of her purification for thirty-three days; she shall not touch any consecrated thing, nor enter the sanctuary until the days of her purification are completed.

5'But if she bears a female child, then she shall be unclean for two weeks, as in her menstruation; and she shall remain in the blood of her purification for sixty-six days.

6'(C)When the days of her purification are completed, for a son or for a daughter, she shall bring to the priest at the doorway of the tent of meeting a one year old lamb for a burnt offering and a young pigeon or a turtledove (D)for a sin offering.


Law of Cleansing a Leper
1Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying,
2"This shall be the law of the leper in the day of his cleansing. (A)Now he shall be brought to the priest,

3and the priest shall go (B)out to the outside of the camp. Thus the priest shall look, and if the infection of leprosy has been healed in the leper,

4then the priest shall give orders to take two live clean birds and (C)cedar wood and a scarlet string and hyssop for the one who is to be cleansed.

5"The priest shall also give orders to slay the one bird in an earthenware vessel over running water.

6"As for the live bird, he shall take it together with (D)the cedar wood and the scarlet string and the (E)hyssop, and shall dip them and the live bird in the blood of the bird that was slain over the running water.

7"(F)He shall then sprinkle seven times the one who is to be cleansed from the leprosy and shall pronounce him clean, and shall let the live bird go free over the open field.

8"(G)The one to be cleansed shall then wash his clothes and shave off all his hair and bathe in water and (H)be clean Now afterward, he may enter the camp, but he (I)shall stay outside his tent for seven days.

9"It will be on the seventh day that he shall shave off all his hair: he shall shave his head and his beard and his eyebrows, even all his hair. He shall then wash his clothes and bathe his body in water and (J)be clean.


9'(H)If there is anyone who curses his father or his mother, he shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother, his bloodguiltiness is upon him.

10'(I)If there is a man who commits adultery with another man's wife, one who commits adultery with his friend's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

11'(J)If there is a man who lies with his father's wife, he has uncovered his father's nakedness; both of them shall surely be put to death, their bloodguiltiness is upon them.

12'(K)If there is a man who lies with his daughter-in-law, both of them shall surely be put to death; they have committed incest, their bloodguiltiness is upon them.

13'(L)If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltiness is upon them.

14'(M)If there is a man who marries a woman and her mother, it is immorality; both he and they shall be burned with fire, so that there will be no immorality in your midst.

15'(N)If there is a man who lies with an animal, he shall surely be put to death; you shall also kill the animal.

16'If there is a woman who approaches any animal to mate with it, you shall kill the woman and the animal; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltiness is upon them.

17'(O)If there is a man who takes his sister, his father's daughter or his mother's daughter, so that he sees her nakedness and she sees his nakedness, it is a disgrace; and they shall be cut off in the sight of the sons of their people. He has uncovered his sister's nakedness; he bears his guilt.

18'(P)If there is a man who lies with a menstruous woman and uncovers her nakedness, he has laid bare her flow, and she has exposed the flow of her blood; thus both of them shall be cut off from among their people.


11"If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals,

12then you shall cut off her hand; (L)you shall not show pity.



SOME SICK STUFF! YOU GUYS ARE SICK!

BigBadBrian
07-28-2005, 02:08 PM
http://www.strangecosmos.com/images/content/8531.jpg

Big Fat Sammy
07-28-2005, 02:11 PM
...the stuff about not coveting your neighbors' SLAVES has always irked me.

Ally_Kat
07-28-2005, 02:39 PM
That's Old Testament, so it's our Jewish pals, too.

Warham
07-28-2005, 03:00 PM
What's wrong with those verses?

Matt White
07-28-2005, 05:14 PM
I don't see the problem?!?

blonddgirl777
07-28-2005, 05:44 PM
!

kentuckyklira
07-28-2005, 06:04 PM
Originally posted by Matt White
I don't see the problem?!? You mean, youīve never had sex with a chick during her period??!!??

kentuckyklira
07-28-2005, 06:15 PM
Originally posted by Ally_Kat
That's Old Testament, so it's our Jewish pals, too. Well, when some christian religious geek starts being a pain in the ass about his myth collection (bible) he doesnīt go, "this part and this part are godīs serious words and the others were just when he was having a hard time making up his mind"!

Matt White
07-28-2005, 06:36 PM
So....

If you don't believe in it.....

and don't follow the teachings......


where's the problem?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Get over yourself.

Warham
07-28-2005, 06:44 PM
He's a heathen.

Matt White
07-28-2005, 06:48 PM
'There, but for the grace of God, go I"

seenbad
07-28-2005, 07:03 PM
You don't get it bro.

The Jews of that time were under a period of conformation to God's laws. They went from being lawless, to God's chosen people. God made rules for them to follow, and follow strictly. While radical to even us whacky "Chriszians" (as you so eloquently put it), it has to be taken in to context of the time and place, the culture, and what God knew he needed to do with these people and their hearts if they truly wanted to be "his people".

It's like joining the army. You want to serve your country, but first, you have to get through boot camp. While boot camp is kinda crazy and extreme (the rest of the military career doesn't even come close to bieng like that), it's a training ground for a mindset of integrity and discipline that soldiers will need for things they will possibly face in the future.

Everything you just quoted there was from the old testament Jews "boot camp" if you will.

It helps, really, to have some clue or insight in to what it is that you're talking about before making a really dumb thread about it. Like this. :)

Warham
07-28-2005, 07:06 PM
The Old Testament is the New Testament concealed, and the New Testament is the Old Testament revealed.

seenbad
07-28-2005, 07:12 PM
Originally posted by Warham
The Old Testament is the New Testament concealed, and the New Testament is the Old Testament revealed.

Where's ILL MITCH!! ? That might make a rap!

I like that.

DavidLeeNatra
07-28-2005, 07:13 PM
don't we have some experts on the board? where is JC when you need HIM?

Warham
07-28-2005, 07:13 PM
Originally posted by seenbad
Where's ILL MITCH!! ? That might make a rap!

I like that.

I heard that years ago, and it's always made sense.

Jesus Christ
07-28-2005, 07:26 PM
Originally posted by DavidLeeNatra
don't we have some experts on the board? where is JC when you need HIM?

Ask and ye shall receive, My son :cool:

DavidLeeNatra
07-28-2005, 07:34 PM
Originally posted by Jesus Christ
Ask and ye shall receive, My son :cool:

:D

Matt White
07-28-2005, 07:54 PM
Originally posted by seenbad
You don't get it bro.

The Jews of that time were under a period of conformation to God's laws. They went from being lawless, to God's chosen people. God made rules for them to follow, and follow strictly. While radical to even us whacky "Chriszians" (as you so eloquently put it), it has to be taken in to context of the time and place, the culture, and what God knew he needed to do with these people and their hearts if they truly wanted to be "his people".

It's like joining the army. You want to serve your country, but first, you have to get through boot camp. While boot camp is kinda crazy and extreme (the rest of the military career doesn't even come close to bieng like that), it's a training ground for a mindset of integrity and discipline that soldiers will need for things they will possibly face in the future.

Everything you just quoted there was from the old testament Jews "boot camp" if you will.

It helps, really, to have some clue or insight in to what it is that you're talking about before making a really dumb thread about it. Like this. :)

WORD

Jesus Christ
07-28-2005, 07:54 PM
Originally posted by seenbad


Everything you just quoted there was from the old testament Jews "boot camp" if you will.



Old Testament Jews bootcamp??

Wait until Dad heareth that one. James, ye cracketh Me up sometimes :D

rustoffa
07-28-2005, 07:55 PM
Originally posted by kentuckyklira
"this part and this part are godīs serious words and the others were just when he was having a hard time making up his mind"!

So, you believe that after all the years, after all the blood, after all the subjectivity, that whatever version is etched in stone? (pardon the pun)

Outstanding. Stirring the pot regarding modern interpretations of the old testament is an excersize in futility.

You're a fucking paragon of insight bro....this shit is GOLD. I can't fucking believe somebody with a head full of fucking gravel hasn't thought of this angle before!

Jesus Christ
07-28-2005, 07:55 PM
Originally posted by Matt White
WORD

Yes, My son. I am the Word.

Jesus Christ
07-28-2005, 07:57 PM
Originally posted by Warham
The Old Testament is the New Testament concealed, and the New Testament is the Old Testament revealed.

That's not bad.... I should hath told Paul to throw that in somewhere around Thessalonians.....

Cathedral
07-28-2005, 08:16 PM
Thessalonians are my favorite books.
In fact it really bothers me that churches never touch them.

It may be what exposes them as frauds, so i'm not surprised.

A preacher can't have people asking questions and putting them through the test now can they?

seenbad
07-28-2005, 08:17 PM
Originally posted by Jesus Christ
Old Testament Jews bootcamp??

Wait until Dad heareth that one. James, ye cracketh Me up sometimes :D

Dude, my name is JOHN....you know, the ONE JESUS LOVED?!?! Am I NOT in the book??? :rolleyes:

seenbad
07-28-2005, 08:18 PM
Double post.

(I get edgy when speaking to Deities, my bad)

Jesus Christ
07-28-2005, 08:19 PM
Originally posted by seenbad
Dude, my name is JOHN....you know, the ONE JESUS LOVED?!?! Am I NOT in the book??? :rolleyes:

I knew it was one of those "J" names.... Giveth Me a break, I have over 6 billion of you to keep track of, ye know!

seenbad
07-28-2005, 08:21 PM
Originally posted by Jesus Christ
I knew it was one of those "J" names.... Giveth Me a break, I have over 6 billion of you to keep track of, ye know!

I'll follow your example and forgive. I'm friggin huge like that.

WORD!! JESUS IS MY HOMEBOY!!

Guitar Shark
07-28-2005, 08:21 PM
Originally posted by Jesus Christ
Yes, My son. I am the Word.

:D

The Son of God has a kickass sense of humor sometimes.

Jesus Christ
07-28-2005, 10:24 PM
Originally posted by Guitar Shark
:D

The Son of God has a kickass sense of humor sometimes.

Ye should thank Dad for that, or Armegeddon might hath happenned long ago ;)

mewisemagic
07-28-2005, 10:29 PM
Originally posted by Jesus Christ
Ye should thank Dad for that, or Armegeddon might hath happenned long ago ;) How did i know Jesus would show up on this one?Where are ya when we need ya bro?

mewisemagic
07-28-2005, 10:32 PM
Originally posted by mewisemagic
How did i know Jesus would show up on this one?Where are ya when we need ya bro? Could you please spread a blessing over"Carmines breakfast t/a club"we could use it over there!

blonddgirl777
08-01-2005, 12:57 AM
Sorry... just trying to get rid of the big ugly thread (by bumping this one)...