The Dukes Of Hazard: I saw it for free

[rustoffa]

Where to start?

Welp, I had free passes to see this soul-sucking piece of cinematography @ the local drive-in earlier tonight.

Two fucking hours of my life are gone forever....I'm not ready to pay the boatman just yet, but it was similair to a near-death experience. Just fucking horrible.

Word to the Steins: Willie Nelson can't act....he can't even fucking breathe. If you ever cast that pigtailed, pot-smoking, tax-evading music legend in a movie again, I'll personally renovate awshwitz.

I have no fucking idea why that american pie dipshit was driving the general lee...fuck, I have no idea how I lived through this movie. That dipshit is the onscreen version of bloated roadkill with hands for eyes. How do these mouthbreathing flistafucks get major gigs? Oh yeah, they get fucked up the ass by Mickey Rourke's poodle while it's wearing a yamika. Pathetic.

Johnny Konucksville? Stick to the plan dude....you're a Jackass. It's really too bad that proper script delivery isn't like falling out of a motor home full of donkey shit.

Jessica Simpson? Baby, you're possibly the most talented actress I've ever scene. You literally DEMANDED that the viewing audience get past your vanilla pudding ass....you INSISTED there's more than dripping-wet sexuality on display. I applaud your dedication to film-oriented credibility.

Linda Carter looked grate...looks can't change the fact that she has the acting ability of a pie plate.

I ain't gonna lambast Burt Reynolds....he's a legend.

Fuck it, Burt.....get a new fucking agent and hairpiece. You tried dude....that shit was gold....fire your fucking agent. Pour some allum on Dom Delouise.....whatever you have to do to save yourself from further career suicide.

This movie gets two middle fingers up. Number fucking eleven.
:mad2:

[Nitro Express]

The original television show was stupid but it had great characters. A late 60's Charger with a 440 is always cool. Catherine Bach was like the nice waitress everyone wanted to fuck. A nice country girl doing her job and looking good while doing it. Jessica Simpson is a whore that tries too hard.

Didn't see the movie but the music video had Jessica shaking lots of T&A. Hmmm, I guess her daddy who is a minister doesn't care as long as his daughter's ass brings in the $$$$$$$.

I got a funny Willie Nelson story. My parents were staying at some hotel and while they were checking out, there was this dirty cowboy signing an autographed picture for the hotel bar. Obviousely this guy was famouse but my mom said he was filthy dirty, had horrendouse body oder, and looked stoned. Wille then turned to my parents and smiled with his yellow teeth and asked if they would like an autograph. My parents declined.

[Brett]

It looks fucking terrible, I have no desire to see it.

I loved the TV show when I was kid and have the first 3 seasons on DVD.

I heard it was terrible so not surprised it actually was. Also nothing like the TV show.

[Nickdfresh]

I haven't heard a good thing about this film so far. Starting with the those two shitbores, Knoxsville and Scott, playing the lead roles. Both are tools devoid of any kind of real charisma, (where is the new BURT REYNOLDS?). I guess they just tossed this turkey off as fast as they could.

Jessica SIMPSONS rendition of "These Boots Were Made For Walking" is terrible...

[Lloyd Anger]

I'd go see it if Linda Carter would shake here ass around like Jessica does. I'd knock some dust of of HER pie plate.

[The_KiD]

It is a terrible film.. The car chases are about the only entertaining asset of the film...

KiD

[BigBadBrian]

Originally posted by The_KiD
It is a terrible film.. The car chases are about the only entertaining asset of the film...

KiD

I don't know....Jessica Simpson gives me a woody in those shorts. I won't go see the film, though.

:gulp:

[diamondsgirl]

Originally posted by rustoffa

Linda Carter looked grate...looks can't change the fact that she has the acting ability of a pie plate.



LMAO! :)

thats awesome :D

[POJO_Risin]

Wasn't there a season when Bo and Luke left...and 2 new cousins came?....Coy and Vance?...

maybe I'm on crack...

[POJO_Risin]

There isn't a fucking enough free passes in the world to get me to this movie...

[Brett]

Originally posted by POJO_Risin
Wasn't there a season when Bo and Luke left...and 2 new cousins came?....Coy and Vance?...

maybe I'm on crack...

Yeah those two fags were on I think during the 83-84 season. Contract dispute and Bo and Luke walked. I think it was only half a season though, but I could be wrong on that, might have been th whole season.

Yeah when you buy the show DVD's they give you a free pass to the movie. I still won't go.

[POJO_Risin]

Now I know Jessica Simpson is hot...and I'm certainly not saying that I wouldn't fuck her...

but c'mon...is she not the most annoying cunt on the planet?

[Unchainme]

Did They remake Good Ol' Boys and made into a rap song in the movie?

They should leave that song alone, The orignal is excellent and shouldn't be messed with.

[Brett]

Originally posted by POJO_Risin
Now I know Jessica Simpson is hot...and I'm certainly not saying that I wouldn't fuck her...

but c'mon...is she not the most annoying cunt on the planet?

Yes and yes.

[Brett]

Originally posted by Unchainme
Did They remake Good Ol' Boys and made into a rap song in the movie?

They should leave that song alone, The orignal is excellent and shouldn't be messed with.

Yes I believe they ruined that too.

[POJO_Risin]

Wait a second...it's not the original fucking tune?

[Unchainme]

Originally posted by Brett
Yes I believe they ruined that too.

Hollywood should just learn to STOP Doing remakes, The only half-decent one I saw was the longest yard, and they ruined it with too much damn Rap music. Did you know Howard Stern is reamking BOTH Rock and Roll High School an d Porky's?

[Brett]

Not to my knowlege, nope.

[Brett]

Originally posted by Unchainme
Hollywood should just learn to STOP Doing remakes, The only half-decent one I saw was the longest yard, and they ruined it with too much damn Rap music. Did you know Howard Stern is reamking BOTH Rock and Roll High School an d Porky's?

Yes and he's said that for years and still hasn't done a thing on either of them. It will never happen.

[POJO_Risin]

I've actually heard something about pre-production on Porky's though...

[Rikk]

Originally posted by POJO_Risin
Now I know Jessica Simpson is hot...and I'm certainly not saying that I wouldn't fuck her...

but c'mon...is she not the most annoying cunt on the planet?

Yeah. I can't stand her.

I know many of you would disagree with me, and I generally prefer blondes, but I'd fuck her sister first.

[Rikk]

Originally posted by POJO_Risin
I've actually heard something about pre-production on Porky's though...

The original is perfect. I watched it again recently and was laughing my ass off. No need to remake it.

Hollywood is a fucking joke.

[Unchainme]

Originally posted by Rikk
The original is perfect. I watched it again recently and was laughing my ass off. No need to remake it.

Hollywood is a fucking joke.

They already did basically with American Pie Triolgy.

[bueno bob]

You won't be able to get me to this piece of shit...I couldn't be drug in there.

Jessica Simpson? How about a Daisy that's a fucking BRUNETTE, for Christ's sake?

Bo and Luke? About as BADLY cast as could be possible. Not even remotely close to Wopat and Schneider. It's fucking disgusting, really.

Burt, while a great, is NOT Boss Hogg material - sorry.

Willie Nelson might have been an appopriate Uncle Jesse, but after Rust's review, I'm now inclined to think otherwise.

I read a review that said Roscoe was virtually invisible in the film, other than just being a menace on occasion...also said that there was a lot of "gay tension" between the Duke boys, who were "closer than brothers", or some shit... :rolleyes:

I now agree with Cooter. I won't go see this trash, won't even fucking rent it...

[POJO_Risin]

You know what's funny...

some of the discussion actually takes the series seriously...

I loved it every Friday night...fucking loved it...

but the feeling here is that you would have to act pretty damn bad to make Dukes of Hazzard worse than it was...

so this movie worked damn hard...

because it's bad...

[fret_buzz_blues]

Damn, it was bad? I was hoping it was good, but whatever, man. Ruins the legacy of the show, doesn't it?

[MAX]

Who plays Rosco P. Coltraine?

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by MAX
Who plays Rosco P. Coltraine?

Somebody you've never heard of...hang on...

[bueno bob]

Some guy named M.C. Gainey...here he is as Roscoe w/ Flash (Flash being, apparently, the most appropriate casting choice of the whole movie...)

[Hardrock69]

Man, there was no way in hell anyone could convince me to watch that piece of fucking shit when it was on TV....and since I heard about the remake movie, my only thought has been "I can't WAIT to miss it!!!".

Well, I am MISSING IT NOW!!!

And I am ECSTATIC!!!

WOOHOO!!!

I AM MISSING THIS PIECE OF SHIT MOVIE!!!

YAAAAAAAAY!!!!
:D

I hope it does not even make back it's production costs.

The fucking idiots who decided to make this should be fired, then strung up and burned alive.....

[rustoffa]

Originally posted by bueno bob
Some guy named M.C. Gainey...here he is as Roscoe w/ Flash (Flash being, apparently, the most appropriate casting choice of the whole movie...)


Mind numbing.

Casting some overweight, imposing meanie as Roscoe P Coltraine?

blargh.

[fret_buzz_blues]

Fuck, it sounds horrible! Now I don't wanna go see it. I hope my sister wasted all her money on it so she won't get fat on Taco Bell anymore!

[HELLVIS]

Originally posted by Hardrock69
The fucking idiots who decided to make this should be fired, then strung up and burned alive.....

Let's not burn them alive. That's too good for them. Let's take them on tour hanging them from trees all over the country, so people can shoot them, and club them, and throw rocks at them, just like in the closing credits of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD.

[Hardrock69]

YES!!!!

:D

[POJO_Risin]

I've seen the guy that played Roscoe in some other movies...

coo...coo...coo...

[thome]

I watched that tv show only to see catherine bach she was about
five min of most of the shows, hated mopars back then, rosco
an boss were doin it.Wa GEe gee gee geeee what the f kinda line is that.b rosco reminded me of a school lurker or bosses bitch

Id probably rather see the movie ill wait for vid.

I will agree with where is a new reynolds type actor his movies were stupid w class

[canadiandlrgirl]

Originally posted by bueno bob
You won't be able to get me to this piece of shit...I couldn't be drug in there.

Jessica Simpson? How about a Daisy that's a fucking BRUNETTE, for Christ's sake?

Bo and Luke? About as BADLY cast as could be possible. Not even remotely close to Wopat and Schneider. It's fucking disgusting, really.

Burt, while a great, is NOT Boss Hogg material - sorry.

Willie Nelson might have been an appopriate Uncle Jesse, but after Rust's review, I'm now inclined to think otherwise.

I read a review that said Roscoe was virtually invisible in the film, other than just being a menace on occasion...also said that there was a lot of "gay tension" between the Duke boys, who were "closer than brothers", or some shit... :rolleyes:

I now agree with Cooter. I won't go see this trash, won't even fucking rent it...
i agree bob...i have no interest in seeing it either:rolleyes:

[rustoffa]

The great thing about seeing something like this @ a drive-in?

You have the option of asking folks in other cars/folding chairs if they know what channel the audio is on.....then you go back to your ride and pump up the jams.

Crank the booming system to bombastic levels....I put it on the classic R&B station 'til somebody cuntplained.

Haha, the little woman told 'em "That was Marvin Gaye!...the fucking movie's gay!....take it easy!!"

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by rustoffa
The great thing about seeing something like this @ a drive-in?

You have the option of asking folks in other cars/folding chairs if they know what channel the audio is on.....then you go back to your ride and pump up the jams.

Crank the booming system to bombastic levels....I put it on the classic R&B station 'til somebody cuntplained.

Haha, the little woman told 'em "That was Marvin Gaye!...the fucking movie's gay!....take it easy!!"

hahahaha...that's funny!

[Vinnie Velvet]

I haven't seen it, and I certainly won't pay a ticket to do so.

From what I heard and reading this thread, the movie is just dumb and stupid.

Okay, so the original show wasn't the most intelligent thing out there at the time.

But it had a great cast and the shows had some great stories.

I, like most here, grew up watching the original show and to now have it desecrated by a stupid movie with a shit-ass cast is just plain wrong.

Maybe the kids of today would like it since they, like Johnny Knoxville, like to be Jackasses.

:rolleyes:

[Hardrock69]

I thought it was blasphemy to continually abuse the great MOPAR....

I have been a Dodge Charger fan all my life...never owned one....and now they cost too much....

[Terry]

Great. Jessica Simpson is washing a car in a bikini. Whatever. If she starts doing hard-core porn, or some nude scenes, I might be interested.

Seems like a bunch of non-talents and some has-beens got together to do a movie version of an old tv show...(yawn)...wow, what a concept.

Last two flicks I've seen are Batman Begins and War Of The Worlds. Neither made me optomistic that Hollywood is gonna be churning out anything other than the same old shit, and most of the newer releases aren't even rent-worthy. The major studios should feel lucky that they're getting shit pirated; least it shows someone's still interested in seeing that drivel.

[moose]

Took my boys and they enjpyed the movie,
For me it was to see Jessica
Soundtrack was good........
Imagine Danny DeVito playin Boss Hogg??

[Pastor Bruce S.]

Ashton Kutcher as Luke. Paul Walker as Bo. That would've been better.

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by bueno bob

Jessica Simpson? How about a Daisy that's a fucking BRUNETTE, for Christ's sake?



Yep!

Daisy Duke was all about that natural southern "girl next door" brunette...
Not a fake blond / fake boobs (with Jay Leno's chin) over make-uped Hollywood bimbo!!!

Bad choice... :o

Just for that, I won't eaven download the movie from the net!

[Terry]

Originally posted by Pastor Bruce S.
Ashton Kutcher as Luke. Paul Walker as Bo. That would've been better.


Yeah, yeah.....swapping the two non-talents in the movie for.....two OTHER non-talents. Mmmm, I see. Am sure Ashton's participation would have elevated this celluloid pile of swill. Yes.

Just NOT making the movie would have been the best thing for everyone concerned.

[Bob_R]

I was never a "Dukes" fan as a kid and I will NOT pay to see this movie.

But, I will see it via PPV, HBO, or Blockbuster.

Jessica is HOT!!

[twonabomber]

Originally posted by POJO_Risin
I've seen the guy that played Roscoe in some other movies...

coo...coo...coo...

James Best. he was in "Hooper" with Burt Reynolds.

Kutcher is a talentless waste of flesh. even Punk'd is stale.

the guy that directed Dukes also did Super Troopers, which is another overrated piece of unfunny shit.

[Mr Grimsdale]

may they suffer eternal putrification!

i laugh my socks off whenever that jessica simpson video comes on and she starts lathering up the general lee