Northern Girl
08-15-2005, 05:48 PM
Kind of obvious, except for the goatee. I think that can work. But put on some socks, geez! :D
Don't follow the leader
By Alan Goldsher
Open up the latest issue of GQ, and what do you see? Guys wearing cool suits, or cool shirts, or cool pants. You see clean-shaven guys with purposefully mussed hair, or guys with artfully carved facial stubble and totally shorn heads. You see guys with shined shoes, guys with subtle jewelry – basically, you see guys with style.
Walk through your average mall, and what do you see? Guys who clearly don’t read GQ. These guys pay attention to other guys who, fashion-wise, are stuck in 1987, thus these mall-walkers are, in a sense, trendsetters – albeit most of the trends they set are seriously lame. This isn’t to say you have to emulate a GQ boy to look good, but you’d do well to avoid the following:
The ponytail
If you’re sporting a long ponytail, the general public might think you’re a wannabe hippie. If you’re sporting a medium-sized ponytail, the general public might think you’re too lazy to get a haircut. If you’re sporting a short ponytail, the general public might think you’re a hopelessly out-of-touch record executive. Nicely-styled long hair is perfectly swell – just leave that scrunchie at home.
The single earring
Back in the ’80s, it was said that if a guy wore only one earring, you could get an idea of his sexual preference depending on which of his lobes was pierced. In the 00’s, if a guy wears one earring, you can get an idea of his lack of taste, regardless of which lobe is pierced. Get both ears pierced and be symmetrical, or don’t get pierced at all. (Note: A single earring often shares a head with a ponytail. This is a situation where two wrongs most definitely don’t make a right.)
Loafers without socks
Sockless loafers with jeans don’t work. Sockless loafers with shorts don’t work. Sockless loafers with anything don’t work. Plus, most loafers don’t breathe well, so if you wear them sans socks, you run the risk of developing toe cheese.
The goatee
A quick refresher course in facial hair terminology: A Van Dyke is a mustache/chin-hair combo, and if you keep it neatly trimmed, it can look very cool. A soul patch is a little blip of hair under your lower lip, and if it’s carved and sized just right, it, too, can be exceedingly hip. A goatee is a blop of hair on your chin, and it isn’t the least bit stylish – it just looks like somebody glued a blop of hair on your chin.
The combover
If you develop male-pattern baldness, roll with it. Take what you have, and get it styled so it looks, y’know, stylish. Or, if there’s not enough there to style – and if you have a nicely shaped head – chop it all off. Not only will a total buzz make you look enigmatic and dangerous, but it’ll give you the opportunity to fudge the truth about your scalp: “I’m not going bald – I have tons of hair. I just like the way it looks when it’s shaved.”
http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=3055&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6>1=6771
Don't follow the leader
By Alan Goldsher
Open up the latest issue of GQ, and what do you see? Guys wearing cool suits, or cool shirts, or cool pants. You see clean-shaven guys with purposefully mussed hair, or guys with artfully carved facial stubble and totally shorn heads. You see guys with shined shoes, guys with subtle jewelry – basically, you see guys with style.
Walk through your average mall, and what do you see? Guys who clearly don’t read GQ. These guys pay attention to other guys who, fashion-wise, are stuck in 1987, thus these mall-walkers are, in a sense, trendsetters – albeit most of the trends they set are seriously lame. This isn’t to say you have to emulate a GQ boy to look good, but you’d do well to avoid the following:
The ponytail
If you’re sporting a long ponytail, the general public might think you’re a wannabe hippie. If you’re sporting a medium-sized ponytail, the general public might think you’re too lazy to get a haircut. If you’re sporting a short ponytail, the general public might think you’re a hopelessly out-of-touch record executive. Nicely-styled long hair is perfectly swell – just leave that scrunchie at home.
The single earring
Back in the ’80s, it was said that if a guy wore only one earring, you could get an idea of his sexual preference depending on which of his lobes was pierced. In the 00’s, if a guy wears one earring, you can get an idea of his lack of taste, regardless of which lobe is pierced. Get both ears pierced and be symmetrical, or don’t get pierced at all. (Note: A single earring often shares a head with a ponytail. This is a situation where two wrongs most definitely don’t make a right.)
Loafers without socks
Sockless loafers with jeans don’t work. Sockless loafers with shorts don’t work. Sockless loafers with anything don’t work. Plus, most loafers don’t breathe well, so if you wear them sans socks, you run the risk of developing toe cheese.
The goatee
A quick refresher course in facial hair terminology: A Van Dyke is a mustache/chin-hair combo, and if you keep it neatly trimmed, it can look very cool. A soul patch is a little blip of hair under your lower lip, and if it’s carved and sized just right, it, too, can be exceedingly hip. A goatee is a blop of hair on your chin, and it isn’t the least bit stylish – it just looks like somebody glued a blop of hair on your chin.
The combover
If you develop male-pattern baldness, roll with it. Take what you have, and get it styled so it looks, y’know, stylish. Or, if there’s not enough there to style – and if you have a nicely shaped head – chop it all off. Not only will a total buzz make you look enigmatic and dangerous, but it’ll give you the opportunity to fudge the truth about your scalp: “I’m not going bald – I have tons of hair. I just like the way it looks when it’s shaved.”
http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=3055&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6>1=6771