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Matt White
09-14-2005, 03:37 PM
By Matt Kirsch

THE IMPOSSIBLE has finally happened -- a die-hard Star Trek nerd got some lovin' for the first time at the age of 43. His stunning charity-sex with a merciful babe has his family and friends' emotions set to stunned.

Gary Beakerman can recall every detail of his encounter of the sexy kind.

"I was attending an annual Star Trek Convention in California, and I was in line to get an autograph from George Takei, when this really loud and rude Klingon cut in front of me," he explains. "I was just about to use my Vulcan nerve pinch to subdue this loudmouth when I realized it wasn't a man, but a woman, and she smelled really good."

But the first encounter didn't go according to plan.

"We instantly got into an argument over who was better, Captain Kirk or Captain Piccard," he says. "That quickly escalated into which Enterprise ship would win in a dog fight, the NCC 1701 or the NCC 1701 D, before it was destroyed in the Viridian System.

"Suddenly, in the middle of this heated argument I noticed a funny feeling coming over me. I was completely turned on, and I had a feeling I was about to boldly go where I've never gone before!"

Luckily for Beakerman, the "Klingon," Carrie Transom, 32, also felt a twinge.

"I liked how he was really passionate about Star Trek," she says. "Also, he looked so dorky in his Vulcan uniform -- it was cute."

Normally, she'd never consider a space docking with such a nerd, but "I hadn't had anyone beam aboard me in a while," she explains.

Also, one look at the ultra-twerp convince her that he needed a close encounter worse than she did.

"I knew he was still a virgin simply because he was really nervous," she says, "and I noticed his car keys belonged to his parent's station wagon.

"Man -- he was pitiful. So I made the first move -- I grabbed him and planted a kiss on him."

Beakerman adds, "It was so weird. While the kiss was great, her Klingon headpiece was digging into my forehead. She suggested that we get out of there and go back to my parents' house. It was 8:30 p.m., so I knew I had to sneak her through my window. It was exciting. I felt like Spock undergoing the Vulcan mating ceremony from Season two, Episode one."

Beakerman recalls sneaking her into his room "so my parents wouldn't hear."

"He no idea what to do," she chuckles. "Getting that Star Fleet uniform off of him was tough, but luckily his love phaser was locked and loaded!"

After docking with the mother ship, Beakerman was excited and relieved that he had finally "done it."

"It was the best 2 minutes of my life!" he exclaims.

manwiththedogs
09-14-2005, 06:02 PM
Good work Matt...LMMFAO

ThrillsNSpills
09-14-2005, 11:22 PM
Congratulations....it's a tribble.

Hardrock69
09-15-2005, 12:42 AM
LMFAO!!!

Coyote
09-15-2005, 01:33 AM
I'm speechless...

fryingdutchman
09-15-2005, 04:38 AM
Originally posted by Matt White
By Matt Kirsch

"He no idea what to do," she chuckles. "Getting that Star Fleet uniform off of him was tough, but luckily his love phaser was locked and loaded!"



BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!! :D

Vinnie Velvet
09-15-2005, 09:51 AM
LMAO!!!!

Matt White
09-15-2005, 12:31 PM
Weird Wild stuff!!!

theicecreamman
09-15-2005, 12:44 PM
That is one of the funniest stories I have read in a long time.

bastardog
09-15-2005, 05:37 PM
What a weird way to loose virginity........with a Klingon at 43 years old

first times are always fun......but with a girl in dress as a Klingon...

mako_kimura
03-17-2006, 03:15 PM
My lord, nowadays anyone can get laid. What happened to the good ol' days of nerds getting nothing?

Roy Munson
03-17-2006, 04:12 PM
This reminds me of that spoof Comic the Insult Dog did at the release of the new Star Wars movie. That was fucking classic!!!

bueno bob
03-17-2006, 04:18 PM
I always seemed to get laid more than the Star Trek geeks...

EbDawson
03-18-2006, 12:37 AM
Fascinating.

DrMaddVibe
03-18-2006, 12:39 PM
Warp factor 2 Sulu.