Milf to soccer team: I had crotch rot. [Archive] - The Diamond David Lee Roth Army

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rustoffa

11-18-2005, 12:27 AM

Attractive soccer mom and coach Nancy Mathers horrified members of her son's youth team and destroyed their adolescent fantasies with a shocking story about "crotch rot" and her personal experiences with the common inflammatory condition.

The Frogmen team, composed of 12-14 years old, mostly male players, listened intently as Mathers described the incident, which took place the previous spring, when Mathers was sweaty and hadn't changed her dampened underwear in several days because the washing machine was broken.

"Coach Mathers told us about how painful her crotch rot was-- and how she thought she had either hemorrhoids or a yeast infection," explained 12-year-old Todd Goldman who was still shaking from the talk. "She said that crotch rot is also sometimes called butt rust but it means the same thing. I don't think I want to play soccer anymore."

Mathers explained how swollen, fiery anal tissue occurs when damp underwear becomes a breeding ground for bacteria, or an individual hasn't properly wiped after using the toilet.

According to teammates, Ms. Mathers, a divorced mother of two who despite her age, had maintained a youthful figure and always took her players to McDonalds after a victory, would no longer be a consistent part of their adolescent fantasies.

Added one player who asked to remain anonymous, "I know we're not supposed to think about having sex with our friends moms, and this really helps. Like, a lot."
:confused:

Hardrock69

11-18-2005, 12:43 AM

Fucking stupid trollop.....

Diamondjimi

11-18-2005, 01:07 AM

Rust Butt ?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA !!!!!!!

MERRYKISSMASS2U

11-18-2005, 01:14 AM

butt rust:D :D :D

rustoffa

11-18-2005, 01:21 AM

I can't help it....i'm crying @ that shit!

MERRYKISSMASS2U

11-18-2005, 01:24 AM

Originally posted by rustoffa

Mathers explained how swollen, fiery anal tissue occurs when damp underwear becomes a breeding ground for bacteria, or an individual hasn't properly wiped after using the toilet....

"I know we're not supposed to think about having sex with our friends moms, and this really helps. Like, a lot."
:confused:

FUNNY AS FUCK!

Golden AWe

11-18-2005, 02:05 AM

I would've thanked her!!!

fryingdutchman

11-18-2005, 05:06 AM

Mmmmmmmmmmm.....

Now if they would only make car air fresheners with that smell....

fryingdutchman

11-18-2005, 07:34 AM

Hang this puppy from your rear view mirror....

Diamondjimi

11-18-2005, 01:45 PM

Originally posted by fryingdutchman
Hang this puppy from your rear view mirror....
LOL !!!!

Lloyd Anger

11-18-2005, 02:03 PM

Hey Rust, maybe she could donate those wonderful panties to the contest. See what you can swing brother. I'd wear them fuckers like a surgeons' mask.

Soul Reaper

11-19-2005, 10:47 AM

That'll give the kids nightmares....

The Buttrust Monster will get you in the night if you're not good....

diamondsgirl

11-19-2005, 10:51 AM

Originally posted by Soul Reaper
That'll give the kids nightmares....

The Buttrust Monster will get you in the night if you're not good....

LOL. Yeah, that'll get kids to practice proper hygeine. :D

diamondsgirl

11-19-2005, 10:52 AM

Originally posted by rustoffa

""She said that crotch rot is also sometimes called butt rust but it means the same thing. I don't think I want to play soccer anymore."

LMAO!

Matt White

11-19-2005, 12:52 PM

ONE more reason NOT to play soccer!

Antman

11-20-2005, 08:13 PM

Butt rust. That's a new one to me.

Unchainme

11-20-2005, 09:19 PM

good thing I played (American) football LMAO.

Nickdfresh

11-20-2005, 09:22 PM

Would anyone like to hear my crotch-rot and jockage story?

No!

Okay.

rustoffa

11-21-2005, 11:49 PM

Originally posted by Antman
Butt rust. That's a new one to me.

I wish I'da never typed/copy and pasted it.

Fuck! Fuck!! Fuck!!!

MERRYKISSMASS2U

11-21-2005, 11:50 PM

Originally posted by rustoffa
I wish I'da never typed it.

Fuck! Fuck!! Fuck!!!

You made that whole thing up :confused: I feel like an idiot! I just now realized that :(

rustoffa

11-22-2005, 12:00 AM

Originally posted by MERRYKISSMASS2U
You made that whole thing up :confused: I feel like an idiot! I just now realized that :(

No fucking way man. I wouldn't make some shit up about fiery anal glands and throw anything to do with "rust" in there.

Live and learn.

Me=Dipshit.
:(

MERRYKISSMASS2U

11-22-2005, 12:09 AM

Originally posted by rustoffa
No fucking way man. I wouldn't make some shit up about fiery anal glands and throw anything to do with "rust" in there.

Live and learn.

Me=Dipshit.
:(

haha! i want a picture of butt rust.
<img src="http://www.vaughns-1-pagers.com/internet/ebay-ads/crotch-rot.gif"></img>

rustoffa

11-22-2005, 12:20 AM

Originally posted by MERRYKISSMASS2U
haha! i want a picture of butt rust.
<img src="http://www.vaughns-1-pagers.com/internet/ebay-ads/crotch-rot.gif"></img>

Don't hold that in alot of regard dude. Fuck it, go ahead.

MERRYKISSMASS2U

11-22-2005, 12:23 AM

you should change your name to Buttrustoffa! :D :killer:
Originally posted by rustoffa
Don't hold that in alot of regard dude. Fuck it, go ahead.

ebay ads can be fucking stupid at times.
<a href="http://img517.imageshack.us/my.php?image=eww0bj.gif"><img src="http://img517.imageshack.us/img517/568/eww0bj.th.gif"></img></a>

Anonymous

11-22-2005, 12:30 AM

Originally posted by MERRYKISSMASS2U
ebay ads can be fucking stupid at times.

Just like fucking up the width of the page for no reason.

What the fuck was that for?

Cheers! :bottle:

MERRYKISSMASS2U

11-22-2005, 12:31 AM

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
Just like fucking up the width of the page for no reason.

What the fuck was that for?

Cheers! :bottle:

i am gonna fix that!

Anonymous

11-22-2005, 12:34 AM

Thanks.

Cheers! :bottle:

MERRYKISSMASS2U

11-22-2005, 12:36 AM

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
Thanks.

Cheers! :bottle:

can you speak some portuguese for me? is it very different from brazil portuguese?

Anonymous

11-22-2005, 12:39 AM

About as different as English is from Irish.

But isn't that coming a little forward? Speak Portuguese to you? We hardly know each other.

Cheers! :bottle:

DLR7884

11-22-2005, 12:39 AM

Originally posted by MERRYKISSMASS2U
haha! i want a picture of butt rust.

Take a picture of the skidmarks in your underwear.

DLR7884
That's butt rust.

MERRYKISSMASS2U

11-22-2005, 12:42 AM

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
About as different as English is from Irish.

But isn't that coming a little forward? Speak Portuguese to you? We hardly know each other.

Cheers! :bottle:

Could you understand someone from Brazil?

I meant type a sentence, not "speak" it.

BigBadBrian

11-22-2005, 12:44 AM

Damn.

I only came to this thread because it had MILF in the title. :D

Anonymous

11-22-2005, 12:44 AM

I can SPEAK brazilian.

Vai levar na anilha, meu varrasco.

Got it?

Cheers! :bottle:

Anonymous

11-22-2005, 12:45 AM

Originally posted by BigBadBrian
Damn.

I only came to this thread because it had MILF in the title. :D

A MILF with butt rust.

I'd still hit it.

But I'm not really sure.

Cheers! :bottle:

MERRYKISSMASS2U

11-22-2005, 12:45 AM

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
I can SPEAK brazilian.

Vai levar na anilha, meu varrasco.

Got it?

Cheers! :bottle:

i want to learn that so bad after i nail down spanish... VERY DIFFERENT.