Matt White
11-18-2005, 11:30 AM
By BRETT ANNISTON
TRENTON, N.J. -- Queen Elizabeth and her hoity-toity brood may soon be packing their bags and vacating Buckingham Palace. A top genealogist has identified the rightful ruler of all England -- and it's a greasy-haired, cigar-chomping bum from Trenton, N.J., who's a direct descendant of the original King Arthur!
"My research shows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jerry Flunders is the eldest lineal descendant of Arthur," genealogist Nigel Winstlow told Weekly World News from his London office.
"While I know this news may ruffle a few feathers, the simple fact is that the wrong person is now sitting on the throne."
There is little regal about oafish-looking Flunders, 32, who walks with a shambling gait and spends his days panhandling and drinking cheap wine.
But Winstlow has found that Flunders has inherited many distinct traits from his famous forebear -- including an uncanny knack for pulling metal objects out of stone.
"I have personally observed Mr. Flunders pulling a shovel and a kitchen knife out of a solid block of cement -- just as Arthur was able to draw the sword out of the stone and thus prove himself the rightful King of England," noted the expert.
Flunders also has an unusual, inborn sense of chivalry, those close to him say.
"He'll open a door for you without you having to yell at him first," reveals his girlfriend.
Tracing King Arthur's de-scendants was a daunting task, says Winstlow, who spent 11 years on the project, much of it poring over old Latin manuscripts in monasteries.
"I learned that the Flunders family, which came over from England in 1720, originally lived in Cadbury -- believed to be the site of the historical Camelot," Winstlow says.
"Their family crest was identical to King Arthur's as it is described in ancient legend."
If Winstlow is able to successfully make his case to British officials, Queen Eliza-beth would have to abdicate and Flunders could be crowned within a few months.
Flunders would receive a hefty stipend -- yet he has no interest in wearing the crown.
"I don't want to move to England," he says. "I don't speak their language."
TRENTON, N.J. -- Queen Elizabeth and her hoity-toity brood may soon be packing their bags and vacating Buckingham Palace. A top genealogist has identified the rightful ruler of all England -- and it's a greasy-haired, cigar-chomping bum from Trenton, N.J., who's a direct descendant of the original King Arthur!
"My research shows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jerry Flunders is the eldest lineal descendant of Arthur," genealogist Nigel Winstlow told Weekly World News from his London office.
"While I know this news may ruffle a few feathers, the simple fact is that the wrong person is now sitting on the throne."
There is little regal about oafish-looking Flunders, 32, who walks with a shambling gait and spends his days panhandling and drinking cheap wine.
But Winstlow has found that Flunders has inherited many distinct traits from his famous forebear -- including an uncanny knack for pulling metal objects out of stone.
"I have personally observed Mr. Flunders pulling a shovel and a kitchen knife out of a solid block of cement -- just as Arthur was able to draw the sword out of the stone and thus prove himself the rightful King of England," noted the expert.
Flunders also has an unusual, inborn sense of chivalry, those close to him say.
"He'll open a door for you without you having to yell at him first," reveals his girlfriend.
Tracing King Arthur's de-scendants was a daunting task, says Winstlow, who spent 11 years on the project, much of it poring over old Latin manuscripts in monasteries.
"I learned that the Flunders family, which came over from England in 1720, originally lived in Cadbury -- believed to be the site of the historical Camelot," Winstlow says.
"Their family crest was identical to King Arthur's as it is described in ancient legend."
If Winstlow is able to successfully make his case to British officials, Queen Eliza-beth would have to abdicate and Flunders could be crowned within a few months.
Flunders would receive a hefty stipend -- yet he has no interest in wearing the crown.
"I don't want to move to England," he says. "I don't speak their language."