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Mr Grimsdale
03-30-2004, 08:01 AM
right, since you're such a bunch of losers i've decided to share my vast experience with you

try any of the following lines for outstanding results

Do you want to see something swell?

What do you do in your spare time love, cross yer legs!?

Do you enjoy the thrill of sex with a stranger?

Most of the blokes reckon your a right ugly fat cow but I'm willing to let it pass, OK?

Lick your finger then touch them with said finger and say "Lets get you out of those wet clothes."

Does this smell like chloroform?

Your mate won't shag me, will you?

Do you come here ofter? No? Do you want to?

Alright love, ya know i've got a thing for fat birds.

Can you imagine if a panda walked into this room with a knife and then walked back out?

Walk over and look her up and down 3 times from head to toe then say "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

For a fat bird you don't sweat much do you.

Beckon them towards you with your finger.
When they come over you say, 'I knew that if i fingered you long enough you'd come!'

Claim you're a boxer then say that you've got a fight coming up and can't have sex for 2 weeks. Guaranteed to work everytime!

Is that a ladder in your tights or a stair way to heaven.

Heard this used by my friend and it actually worked, "I’ve got a really small penis but am eager to please."

Can I buy you a drink or give you the money for that one.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
reaction: ahh thats cute
And landed on your face!!

Stare and say "well it's not going to suck itself."

Lie down, I think I love you.

Come and get me, I'm full of babies.

Your legs remind me of the Eiffel tower, all the attractions are at the top.

How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll put my head in.

Ello darlin', fancy a fuck?
No.
Well, you wanna lay down while I have one?

Say to her "dear diary, Jackpot!"

If she's a quadraplegic feminist..."Nice tits!"

Walk up to a woman you don't know...
You say "Big, fat, hungry polar bear!"
Her "What???"
You say "Breaks the ice, doesn't it"

High Life Man
03-30-2004, 10:36 AM
Grate! Grate!

More! More!

lesfunk
03-30-2004, 10:41 AM
Fooking ace!
The beach is a good place too. I often walk up to sleeping sunbathers and slap them in the face with my limp dick.

Mr Grimsdale
03-30-2004, 10:52 AM
At last I find out the culprit!

Mr Grimsdale
03-30-2004, 11:57 AM
Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg?
No???
Wanna go on a picnic?

Do you fancy a pizza and a fuck?
[Slap]
What's wrong, don't you like pizza?

Nice shoes!
Can I try them on after we have sex?

Do wanna do a 68?
What's a 68?
You go down and I owe you one.

Walk up to girl in bar, sit next her, look into her eyes and say "Well we can't fuck here."

Alright, let's go and have a shag... I'll give you a half hour.

Ahoy there fair maiden, might I trouble thee for a fisting?

Any chance of a dance?
Piss off wanker.
'spose a fuck is out of the question, then.

flappo
03-30-2004, 12:41 PM
..pulling them by what ?

..hair or left tit ??

Mr Grimsdale
03-30-2004, 05:00 PM
pierced labia actually

Matt White
01-16-2012, 07:14 PM
Smashing!!!

ODShowtime
01-16-2012, 08:31 PM
For a fat bird you don't sweat much do you.


That's fuckin' funny