I rimmed a canadian tire guy and got dysentery

[ritetoolforjob]

did anyone see the great article on the canadian tire guy. what a TOOL. hopefully, the followup will be story on hasbeen aging rocker david lee. maybe they are neighbours. dave borrows the nail gun to tighten up his wig.

[Golden AWe]

FACK ORF .

[Jimmy Jingles]

Originally posted by ritetoolforjob
did anyone see the great article on the canadian tire guy. what a TOOL. hopefully, the followup will be story on hasbeen aging rocker david lee. maybe they are neighbours. dave borrows the nail gun to tighten up his wig.

Fag
Sheep
Troll
Asshat
Cumquat
ManRimmer
Rectum Ranger
Salad Tosser
Cock Jerker
Cock Puller
Cock Goblin
Anal Painter
Ball Sucker
Fuckface
Crusty Cunt
Douche Drainer

Can you feel the love?

[Diamondjimi]

Originally posted by ritemouthfordacob
did I mention I love da cock ?

CANADAS SHAME !

But then again Newfoundland is'nt really part of Canada ,is it !?
Only technically !

UP YERS SQUID FUCKER !!!

[Nickdfresh]

Originally posted by ritetoolforjob
did anyone see the great article on the canadian tire guy. what a TOOL. hopefully, the followup will be story on hasbeen aging rocker david lee. maybe they are neighbours. dave borrows the nail gun to tighten up his wig.

Jesus, you are fucking dumb. How old are you?

[Vinnie Velvet]

Its obvious this idiot is starving for attention.

So, let's not give him any.

[ritetoolforjob]

more than just tires

[Diamondjimi]

Originally posted by riteFoolforjob
more than just tires

COCKSUCKER !

[ritetoolforjob]

no, i don't think they supply that in their seasonal service.

[Golden AWe]

Originally posted by ritetoolforjob
no, i don't think they supply that in their seasonal service.

FACK ORF .

[ritetoolforjob]

you.

[Golden AWe]

FACK ORF .

[Anonymous]

I'm REALLY getting tired of seein' your threads around the place, ritetool. You're neither funny nor witty, you're just a pathetic loser who's got WAY too much time on his hands and decides to use it spamming an internet forum. How can I put this in a friendly way? Oh, I got it...

Like being used to wipe the floor, sperm guzzler? It will be my pleasure, you pathetic piece of shit.

Bring it on! :wow2:

[Hardrock69]

Yeah, I always figured ritetool liked to rim Canadian Tire guys, while cramming a tire iron up his ass....

[rustoffa]

Originally posted by Hardrock69
Yeah, I always figured ritetool liked to rim Canadian Tire guys, while cramming a tire iron up his ass....

No shit. That's the worst thread title in awhile. He admitted to eating his own turds earlier...

*rim shot*
:D

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
FACK ORF .

ditto.

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by rustoffa
No shit. That's the worst thread title in awhile. He admitted to eating his own turds earlier...

*rim shot*
:D

This may be one of the funniest things I've ever read... :rofl:

Rim shot - brown drippings all over! :lol:

Cheers! :bottle:

[RuzDNailz]

Originally posted by ritetoolforjob
I failed to pass the 2nd grade again! What will the Roth army think about me now?

Nothing, really.

[RuzDNailz]

On a side note, many of us refer to Canadian Tire as Crappy Tire! Don't ask why.

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by diamondjimi
CANADAS SHAME !

But then again Newfoundland is'nt really part of Canada ,is it !?
Only technically !

UP YERS SQUID FUCKER !!!

L.O.L...

Hey Newphy!

Never heard of THINKING before speaking (or writing)?
You are embarassing ME and other Canadians so Fuck Off!!!

Nonetheless, the Canadian Tire "perfect family" (owning the perfect tools for everything) has to go!

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by RuzDNailz
On a side note, many of us refer to Canadian Tire as Crappy Tire! Don't ask why.

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by RuzDNailz
On a side note, many of us refer to Canadian Tire as Crappy Tire! Don't ask why.

I am a 38 years old who totally relies on her husband, when it comes to car maintenance and I can tell you this much...

The reason why we refer to "Canadian Tire" as being cheap tires is because they are!!!

At "Canadian Tire", you can get a cheap tune up, cheap "Moto Master" tires and a soon... cheap underwaer (for men) too!

[RuzDNailz]

Originally posted by blonddgirl777
I am a 38 years old who totally relies on her husband, when it comes to car maintenance and I can tell you this much...

The reason why we refer to "Canadian Tire" as being cheap tires is because they are!!!

At "Canadian Tire", you can get a cheap tune up, cheap "Moto Master" tires and a soon... cheap underwaer (for men) too!

Truth is, I"ve heard many people who took their cars to CT and came back not too happy. They replaced my alternator and did an O.K. job.
Sears auto place is one Mechanical Auto Service I will go ONLY in case of emergency. I go to places where I know and trust the mechanic. Or at least a place where I can go and see them work on my car and no hack-jobs! The Americans have Pep-Boys!

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by RuzDNailz
The Americans have Pep-Boys!

Hail to "Pep-Boys"!!!

I bought my car, an 89 Calica GT when living in Cali. and my husband and his friends used to loooove Peo-Boys...
I loved it too because he could fix and maintain the cars himself!

Here, "Canadian Tire" is known to do fast work for more $ then what it's worth...
At least, that's what the guys say.

[blonddgirl777]

I saw a report on the news about mechanics...
They admitted flat out that they do, treat differently a woman (like me) who looks totally clueless about cars then an man who "looks like he knows"...

Fucked up!

Once, I came back home from the shop and when I told my husband how much I was charged for what had been done, he was furious at himself for not going (at my place)!

[RuzDNailz]

Originally posted by blonddgirl777
Hail to "Pep-Boys"!!!

I bought my car, an 89 Calica GT when living in Cali. and my husband and his friends used to loooove Peo-Boys...
I loved it too because he could fix and maintain the cars himself!

Here, "Canadian Tire" is known to do fast work for more $ then what it's worth...
At least, that's what the guys say.

Celicas are good cars. My Pontiac Shitbird was a headache. Now I have a 2002 Sentra and have little problems with it. Many mechanics were the worst to me because they had trouble diagnosing problems I had in the past. And even fixed the wrong thing! Word of advice, dealerships are expensive but they are at least reliable when it comes to their own product.

[RuzDNailz]

Anybody who walks into a mechanic shop gets scanned up and down. It's all a business to them. Sell you what you don't need. I look them in the eyes and tell them what to do! If I need a change of rotors or something like that, I do it myself.

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by RuzDNailz
... I look them in the eyes and tell them what to do! If I need a change of rotors or something like that, I do it myself.

Don't I wish I could do that?
More power to you!

[Diamondjimi]

I've gone nuclear on the phone to Canadian Tire a couple of times
about extra bullshit charges or needless recomendations they've tried to pull on the ex-old lady! (and I'm using "lady" very lightly!) LOL !

[NATEDOG001976]

Lol. Rim job!

[Full Bug]

For those who may have missed it....

Canadian Tire Couple In Divorce Shocker


I'M ENDING WITH YOU?

Ted and Gloria Pneumatic, the ubiquitous couple featured in those Canadian Tire commercials on the TV every five goddamn minutes, have filed for divorce, thehammer.ca has learned.

In an exclusive interview, Gloria admitted that she and her husband of 13 years have in fact been separated from one another for several months.

"We wanted to keep this secret because of the possibility of negative implications both for the company and for our careers as a husband-wife pitch duo, but I couldn't continue living a lie," said Gloria, who admitted that she wasn't happy in the relationship for a long time.

"Ted and I were all smiles and chuckles when we were extolling the virtues of the 50 dollar folding recliner or the cheap-ass DVD player for the car that breaks after the first speed bump, but when the cameras stopped rolling, we would just return to the loveless sham that was our marriage," she admitted in a phone interview. "We hadn't made love in our inflatable BYO Bed, complete with Memory Foam, in over a year. All he seemed to care about was his...stuff.

"Oh sure, I'd plaster on a smile and ooze with enthusiasm over the new Mastercraft Electronic Corkscrew, or whatever the hell it was we happened to be schlepping that particular day, but I began to ask myself...isn't there more to life than this?

"I think it was the ad for the Motomaster Automatic Car Door Unlocker that broke the proverbial camel's back. That's when I realized that I didn't love this man anymore.


Mike McChuckle, spokesperson for Canadian Tire and a direct descendant of Sandy McTire, had no knowledge of Ted and Gloria's marital difficulties.
"I mean, why can't you just unlock the goddamn door with your keys?

"Our marriage got to the point where it was built on nothing more than the wanton consumption of crap," she continued. "Instead of devoting more time to the relationship, Ted thought all of our communication problems would go away if he just continued to buy more shit that would just wind up collecting dust in the closet. I mean, the Mastercraft Tap Turner? What was he thinking? Who needs all this shit?"

Gloria admitted that it was she who initiated the divorce proceedings. "Ted's still a little shook up about the whole thing. He's tried to win me back with more...stuff, but he just doesn't get it. Sometimes, I'd just like to grab a Mastercraft XM-70 Megaphone and scream it out to him: 'You can't buy my love with all of this crap! I'm a human being with emotional needs!'"

When reached for comment, Ted Pneumatic sniffled audibly before hanging up his Pulsar Belltone Cordless Phone, available for only $59.99 at your nearest Canadian Tire.

Gloria said that the couple have agreed not to get "the lawyers" involved as of yet. "We're trying to keep things amicable for our son, but we haven't exactly determined who gets what," she indicated. She revealed that she has asked her husband for 1,200 Canadian Tire dollars per month in support, for herself and for little Bocihpus, the couple's child.

Mike McChuckle, a spokesperson for Canadian Tire, said that the company had no knowledge of Ted and Gloria's marital difficulties, but he indicated that the venerable Canadian retailer has no plans of firing the couple. "We look forward to having Ted and Gloria continue to annoy the living shit out of Canadians from coast to coast. After all, it's just TV right? They can act...well, sort of..."


Ted nearly breaks into tears and has to "take five" after doing an extended scene with his ex-wife for the Motomaster Eliminator 600A PowerBox, now only $149 at Canadian Tire.
However, the revelation of the couple's split could have negative repercussions for the Crappy Tire brand, according to Nigel Berconso, marketing professor at the University College of Western Prince Edward Island.

"What does it say to Canadian consumers that this smarmy, eternally upbeat couple with the seemingly perfect life selling them the Motomaster 'Boat in a Suitcase' on the TV are in fact going through an acrimonious divorce? It seems rather hypocritical," said Dr. Berconso, who continues to be stupefied to this day that they give out doctorates for marketing.

"Not only that, but they refuse to say which side they voted for in the 1995 Quebec referendum on sovereignty. That might have something to do with the fact that they have never lived in Quebec, but still...it raises some red flags."

And as for the couple's on-air future? Will they continue working together? Gloria says as far as she's concerned, yes.

"Hey, we're professionals...plus, the gig pays a lot better than dinner theatre in Niagara Falls. It's all about the Dead Prime Ministers, baby."

[RuzDNailz]

You know that same dude used to do Bell phone commercials back in 1993 every 2 minutes! At least they are a decent source for auto parts besides Napa.

[Diamondjimi]

Fuck , I hate those goddamn commercials. And the Canadian Tire
jingle makes me want to drive daggers into my ears !
FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[PHOENIX]

Canadian Tire has got to bring back those Scrooge commercials.

Those were classics.

[bfm]

Originally posted by ritetoolforjob
did anyone see the great picture of me rimming all the guys at the local prison, then larbo giving it to me in the ass..



what ever gets you off man.