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Matt White
12-13-2005, 12:01 PM
NO LONGER IS IT A MATTER OF 'IF': Oil prices skyrocket ...housing market collapses, automakers go belly-up and banks fail ...

By DICK SIEGEL

HELMUTH, Switzerland -- Renowned Swiss Economist M.T. Taanke -- who first predicted the current oil crisis -- (International World News, August 22, 2005), has just made public a Decisive International Restructured Economy Report which warns categorically of a worldwide depression that means the end of civilization as we now know it!

The D.I.R.E. Report was written by Taanke in conjunction with leading economists and sociologists, geophysical scientists and statisticians.

"In the June 6, 2005 edition, your newspaper predicted the coming of the 2nd Great Depression," Taanke told Weekly World News in an exclusive interview. "You were right to warn the world, and alone in your courage. However, the reality of the disaster will be worse than you imagined.

"Due to super-storms, ongoing wars, escalating oil prices and rampant global warning, it isn't just the world economy that will collapse," the economist said. "Civilization itself will fall!"

Taanke detailed his timetable for the coming doom.

"When hurricanes devastated the U.S. Gulf Coast, oil and gas prices skyrocketed around the world," he said. "Nations tapped into their strategic oil reserves thinking they could replenish them this year and next. They were wrong! It is a closely guarded secret in Washington, London and Tokyo, but due to global warming, water from the melting polar ice caps has flooded more than 70 percent of the world's deep petroleum wells. It will be five or six years before those megatons of water can be drained. We will be dry long before then.

"Though we had the technology, we did not have the foresight to develop alternate energy sources," he said. "As a result, cars, planes and fuel-based industry will cease to function. With no power, towns and villages, nations and states will be cut off. Computers won't work and economies will evaporate. The world will return to medieval status -- but only for a short while. Things will quickly get worse."

D.I.R.E. Report coauthor and futurologist professor Barnard Jaffe of Gortuu University in Cinderville, Ohio, predicts breadlines so long that people will starve before they reach the food.

"Even when they get to the shops and markets, what will they use to pay?" he asked. "Currency will be worthless. Clean water and bread will become the coin of the realm.

"At the same time, modern-day pirates will attempt to seize reservoirs and whatever food remains," he predicted. "There will be no electricity and all communication will go dark. Think New Orleans writ very, very large.

"Uncontrollable fires will rage as civilized humans are reduced to prehistoric predators. Unable to contain the madness, governments will collapse.

"Rampant disease, much worse than any bird flu, will set off major plagues that will decimate the world's population by more than 50 percent," Jaffe somberly remarked.

"We are past the point of no return," Taanke concluded, shaking a head that was prematurely bald with worry. "World leaders have all adopted a 'circle-the-wagons' mentality in order to blame someone other than themselves. But it won't matter who is to blame -- and it certainly won't help us in any case."

When asked to specify a date when everything will come apart, Taanke sighed.

"My calculations show that the Sixth of June, next year -- 6/6/06 -- will be the beginning of D-Day for all of humanity."

A Bush administration insider, 'Dick C.,' called the D.I.R.E. Report, "Irresponsible, the ranting of a tightly wound Swiss cuckoo."

Taanke responded angrily, "I suggest everyone stock up on canned goods, bottled water, firearms and lots of ammo. And when that runs out, make sure you have large wooden clubs with spikes -- the kind that can make great 'depressions' in the heads of so-called leaders like Dick C."

Soul Reaper
12-13-2005, 12:10 PM
wunderful!!!

LoungeMachine
12-13-2005, 12:26 PM
This should be in FRONTLINE

And where is pete, by the way?

He'd be telling us to stock up on canned googs.



it''s t2o late

Matt White
12-13-2005, 12:28 PM
He was a prophet....after all:(


Just start clubbing people....get a head start

Soul Reaper
12-13-2005, 12:31 PM
Depression must be an understatement for this....

Nitro Express
12-13-2005, 12:34 PM
All you need is a better weapon to steal your nieghbors food, water, and women with.

Cathedral
12-13-2005, 12:49 PM
Originally posted by Nitro Express
All you need is a better weapon to steal your nieghbors food, water, and women with.

The truth in that statement is a pending reality.

Diamondjimi
12-13-2005, 12:56 PM
Wow this brightens up my day.(typing while hammering nails through
my hockey sticks !)
O.K. I'm ready , bring it on !!!!! LOL!

Cathedral
12-13-2005, 01:19 PM
Originally posted by Matt White
NO LONGER IS IT A MATTER OF 'IF': Oil prices skyrocket ...housing market collapses, automakers go belly-up and banks fail ...

By DICK SIEGEL

HELMUTH, Switzerland -- Renowned Swiss Economist M.T. Taanke -- who first predicted the current oil crisis -- (International World News, August 22, 2005), has just made public a Decisive International Restructured Economy Report which warns categorically of a worldwide depression that means the end of civilization as we now know it!

The D.I.R.E. Report was written by Taanke in conjunction with leading economists and sociologists, geophysical scientists and statisticians.

"In the June 6, 2005 edition, your newspaper predicted the coming of the 2nd Great Depression," Taanke told Weekly World News in an exclusive interview. "You were right to warn the world, and alone in your courage. However, the reality of the disaster will be worse than you imagined.

"Due to super-storms, ongoing wars, escalating oil prices and rampant global warning, it isn't just the world economy that will collapse," the economist said. "Civilization itself will fall!"

Taanke detailed his timetable for the coming doom.

"When hurricanes devastated the U.S. Gulf Coast, oil and gas prices skyrocketed around the world," he said. "Nations tapped into their strategic oil reserves thinking they could replenish them this year and next. They were wrong! It is a closely guarded secret in Washington, London and Tokyo, but due to global warming, water from the melting polar ice caps has flooded more than 70 percent of the world's deep petroleum wells. It will be five or six years before those megatons of water can be drained. We will be dry long before then.

"Though we had the technology, we did not have the foresight to develop alternate energy sources," he said. "As a result, cars, planes and fuel-based industry will cease to function. With no power, towns and villages, nations and states will be cut off. Computers won't work and economies will evaporate. The world will return to medieval status -- but only for a short while. Things will quickly get worse."

D.I.R.E. Report coauthor and futurologist professor Barnard Jaffe of Gortuu University in Cinderville, Ohio, predicts breadlines so long that people will starve before they reach the food.

"Even when they get to the shops and markets, what will they use to pay?" he asked. "Currency will be worthless. Clean water and bread will become the coin of the realm.

"At the same time, modern-day pirates will attempt to seize reservoirs and whatever food remains," he predicted. "There will be no electricity and all communication will go dark. Think New Orleans writ very, very large.

"Uncontrollable fires will rage as civilized humans are reduced to prehistoric predators. Unable to contain the madness, governments will collapse.

"Rampant disease, much worse than any bird flu, will set off major plagues that will decimate the world's population by more than 50 percent," Jaffe somberly remarked.

"We are past the point of no return," Taanke concluded, shaking a head that was prematurely bald with worry. "World leaders have all adopted a 'circle-the-wagons' mentality in order to blame someone other than themselves. But it won't matter who is to blame -- and it certainly won't help us in any case."

When asked to specify a date when everything will come apart, Taanke sighed.

"My calculations show that the Sixth of June, next year -- 6/6/06 -- will be the beginning of D-Day for all of humanity."

A Bush administration insider, 'Dick C.,' called the D.I.R.E. Report, "Irresponsible, the ranting of a tightly wound Swiss cuckoo."

Taanke responded angrily, "I suggest everyone stock up on canned goods, bottled water, firearms and lots of ammo. And when that runs out, make sure you have large wooden clubs with spikes -- the kind that can make great 'depressions' in the heads of so-called leaders like Dick C."

The concept is valid, but a bit extreme.
It won't take me but a minute to understand what to do when society breaks down, so i'm sure it will take the same or less for others to draw the same conclusion.
Then there's the projected date, that just happens to have a satanic reference...good grief, I would have picked any other date but that one.
He had a good theory going until he made a prediction, lol. now i'm going to make one....You won't be able to find this guy on 6/7/06, when nothing happens. ;)

"Come with me my children for i will show you the doorway to eeternal happiness and neverending life...People with Visa, Master Card, and American Express to the left, Cash, Check, and Money Orders to the right.
If you have no bank accounts nor any cash or credit cards please fill out an application and have a seat for a millenia or two."

He'll just say, "I was wrong, but it could happen at any moment" as he walks away counting a wad of hundred dollar bills from all the mileage he gets in profitable publicity.

knuckleboner
12-13-2005, 01:25 PM
sniff...sniff...

anybody else smell something here?

scamper
12-13-2005, 01:29 PM
pirates are cool

LoungeMachine
12-13-2005, 03:27 PM
3 Economists go target shooting.

The First one fires, and misses the target 3 feet to the LEFT.

The Second one fires, and misses 3 feet to the RIGHT

The Third one yells I HIT IT.


50% of all economists are wrong.

However, I'm still stocking up on beanie-weenie and Wild Turkey.

Hardrock69
12-13-2005, 03:37 PM
I am surprised any of you goobers think this is valid.

it is a fucking Weekly World News report.

It has as much vailidity as one of Katypig's Catholic Fairy Tales...

:rolleyes:

AiginMisora
12-13-2005, 03:46 PM
there are no atheists in foxholes

ELVIS
12-13-2005, 04:06 PM
Originally posted by Hardrock69
I am surprised any of you goobers think this is valid.

it is a fucking Weekly World News report.

It has as much vailidity as one of Katypig's Catholic Fairy Tales...

:rolleyes:


I think it has some validity, although I think 6-6-06 is incorrect, but when it does happen, it's gonna be quick...

Being prepared is smart...

thome
12-13-2005, 04:31 PM
ThanQ jeezus,I've been so bored lately what with the Untold amount
of Dollars bulging up my Pockets,Banging Foxes,till they are, JUST SILLY!

I am sick of Eating Smoked Salmon on crackers with that ridiculous Imported Cheese,while watching Grid Iron and Smak Down.

I can't tell the last time i really was excited, all this super happiness
is getting me down .

I need Blood, Guts, Gore and Veins in my Teeth.Ah Yess ...Good Times!

Just remember I travel light I have just enough ammo to kill YOU
and steal all of your Goodies..Ha Ha..:eek:

m_dixon1984
12-13-2005, 04:41 PM
Hmm, my aluminum foil hat won't protect me from the end of civilization. I've been planning for alien's who will read my thoughts. Damn it!!
M

4moreyears
12-13-2005, 05:00 PM
I would suggest anyone interested in this subject read Prophecy by Robert Kiyosaki. Great book on similar subject and how to protect yourself from it.
***************************
Rich Dad's Prophecy:
Why the Biggest Stock Market Crash in History is Still Coming... and How You Can Prepare Yourself and Profit From It!

by Robert T. Kiyosaki and Sharon L. Lechter C.P.A.

Prophecy is a WAKE UP CALL for every baby boomer and their kids!

This is truly one of the greatest books that Kiyosaki has ever written. To tell you the truth, the information within Prophecy is somewhat frightening... as it really drives home the point that there are so many things that we take for granted - our freedom, our jobs, our health, and our lives.

Many people believe that when they retire they will be well taken care of by the government, or by their families, or by their retirement plans. Schools, parents, and employers teach most people to get a good education, get a good job, and save for retirement.

Kiyosaki addressed the flaws in this way of thinking in several of his books such as Rich Dad, Poor Dad and Cashflow Quandrant, one of the flaws being that relying on a job for one's financial well-being is not very wise, because there is no guarantee that you won't be downsized today or tomorrow. If your job is all you depend upon for financial security, your well-being is in the hands of another, and that is a dangerous game to play.

In Prophecy, Kiyosaki goes even further into the flaws of society's view of how to attain financial well-being, the flaws in the law, and the flaws in several companies today that do not see their stockholders' wellbeing as a priority. He explains that relying on a retirement fund, which you have no real control over, for your financial well-being is also not very wise... AT ALL!!

Kiyosaki explains how flaws in the law and in the educational systems have made the baby boomer generation and their kids extremely vulnerable to financial, physical, emotional, and mental devastation. Some got a taste of this devastation when the stock market crashed in 2000, and millions of dollars were lost forever. For many, this was money that had been saved for years; money that was to be used to send kids to college or retire upon.

Others are still trying to recover from the devastation caused by the corruption and fraud of the companies in which they had invested years of their time and money.

For those of us who have never experienced this kind of ruin and heartache, it is very difficult to see ourselves in the same position; to believe that this could happen to us. Kiyosaki illustrates not only how easy it is for this to happen, but how likely it is to happen, if we do not take our financial well-being into our own hands.

This starts with increasing our financial education. Financial education is not taught in schools or at work. It is handed out by financial advisors and planners, or passed onto us by our parents, and many people automatically assume that what they are being told is the truth -- it's the way everyone does things... it's the right way... it's the only way to become secure and free. Right? WRONG!!!!

Many discovered this a bit too late and are now trying to pick up the pieces. The bad news is... the worst is yet to come... IF, we don't start taking responsiblity for our own financial education. Read Rich Dad's Prophecy... it is a book that everyone should read, no matter what your financial status.

Some may say, "Oh, I don't invest in stocks!" It doesn't matter, do yourself a favour and read Rich Dad's Prophecy. For those of you who may be thinking things like, "Oh, the stock market always recovers in the long-run," think about this: If the market crashes when you're 70 years old, do you think you think you will be able to afford the time and the money to wait for the market to recover?

Robert Kiyosaki is not claiming to be able to predict the future as the title implies. Rather, he urges us all to be prepared for the future.

* Are you prepared today?
* Will you be prepared 5 or 10 years from now?

If you want to ensure that you can confidently answer "YES" when the storm comes, then start by seeing what Robert Kiyosaki has to say in Rich Dad's Prophecy.

Link (http://www.doingsuccess.com/reviews_prophecy.html)

thome
12-13-2005, 05:09 PM
Release the MARMOSETS !!!!!!!!

While I prepare to battle the keeper of THE CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

I shall smote, THE CHEESE WIZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He shall be placed on the CRACKER OF

ETERNITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and be' eth no more.yea tho.

Nickdfresh
12-13-2005, 05:40 PM
Originally posted by Hardrock69
I am surprised any of you goobers think this is valid.

it is a fucking Weekly World News report.

It has as much vailidity as one of Katypig's Catholic Fairy Tales...

:rolleyes:

Hey man, they were dead on with the "Satanic Alien Boy born to Minneapolis Woman" story...

Big Train
12-13-2005, 11:19 PM
I enjoy these...as the economy has expanded significantly over the last six months, during the "crisis", these retarded doomsday things continue to keep the competition down in expanding my wallet...thank you for the service.

Cathedral
12-14-2005, 12:03 AM
Doomsday, there's a word you haven't heard lately. when i was a kid there were guys wearing huge signs to "repent or perish" on the corners in downtown cincinnati...the dates on those signs have come and gone, but life has remained constant.

But i'll mark 6/6/06 down on my calander so i don't forget that life as i know it will end on that day.

"LIVE IT UP PEOPLE, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE NEXT JUNE!"

Dr. Love
12-14-2005, 01:11 AM
Originally posted by knuckleboner
sniff...sniff...

anybody else smell something here?

:o Sorry

Hardrock69
12-14-2005, 01:13 AM
Originally posted by thome
Release the MARMOSETS !!!!!!!!

While I prepare to battle the keeper of THE CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

I shall smote, THE CHEESE WIZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He shall be placed on the CRACKER OF

ETERNITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and be' eth no more.yea tho.



AIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!
THE CRACKER OF ETERNITY!!!!

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Matt White
12-14-2005, 01:24 AM
Ahhh....nothing like a bit of cuntroversy.........

Nickdfresh
12-14-2005, 08:57 AM
Originally posted by Cathedral
Doomsday, there's a word you haven't heard lately. when i was a kid there were guys wearing huge signs to "repent or perish" on the corners in downtown cincinnati...the dates on those signs have come and gone, but life has remained constant.

But i'll mark 6/6/06 down on my calander so i don't forget that life as i know it will end on that day.

"LIVE IT UP PEOPLE, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE NEXT JUNE!"

I'm going to start a SATANIC ALIEN DOOMSDAY cult, there seems to be niche' opening....