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hydrophane
04-01-2004, 03:37 AM
I am so sick of everyone I know telling me that I will change my mind and want kids one day. In the last year I even had a three hour gestapo style grilling on the subject from my (no longer) boyfriend's mother - we'd only been together for 2 months! Am I really the only woman in the world that doesn't want kids?

Dr. Love
04-01-2004, 04:01 AM
No, there's a whole collection in the ladies forum at ddlr.

Panamark
04-01-2004, 06:35 AM
No you are not. Ive known several women that didnt want children.

Phil da Stalker
04-01-2004, 07:33 AM
Originally posted by hydrophane
I am so sick of everyone I know telling me that I will change my mind and want kids one day. In the last year I even had a three hour gestapo style grilling on the subject from my (no longer) boyfriend's mother - we'd only been together for 2 months! Am I really the only woman in the world that doesn't want kids?
..do you have big tits?

flappo
04-01-2004, 08:57 AM
..and a big hairy cunt™ ?

Susie Q
04-02-2004, 08:49 AM
Myself, I think I am the opposite. I also wanted kids, even when I was a little girl. I will forever be a Mommy I think. I was once labeled in these forums as the "Mother Hen". Well...can't help it. If I had it all to do over again, I would probably had my kids at a much younger age, so that in my later years I could enjoy peace and quiet though...LOL

It's not a bad thing if you don't want children, especially if you consider yourself a career woman. You see, I am trying to balance a career and kids. Tough when you have to work until 5pm, and your kid has a baseball game at 5:45.

Wanting kids and NOT wanting kids are a personal choice. NO one should force feed you anything. Stand by your beliefs, and find a guy who feels the same, that way there are no conflicts.:)

BITEYOASS
04-02-2004, 11:17 AM
Thank god my girlfriend is heading near menopause! :D

Cathedral
04-02-2004, 12:22 PM
Everyone is different, but for me I felt incomplete without having children, and i was blessed with 2 at two different points in my life.
I can't imagine NOT having the chance to raise children and see my legacy live on beyond my years here on earth.

I had two girls, one has gone to be with God and the other is 8 years old now...Time is flying but i can't imagine never having had that experience.
I look back at everything i have done and feel complete now. I can go on to that dirt nap knowing i lived a full life so i have no fears.
Even though my chances of living to a ripe old age are not that great, I can only think how empty life would be as a senoir citizen without seeing my kids making a family of their own, the grandkids, the holidays, the thought of knowing that so many lives were touched by my mere and humble existance.
To grow old and have none of that seems a bit lonesome to me.

I see it everyday, The elderly in nursing homes who have had kids and have visitors regularly...and those who didn't have kids and spend day after day without anyone to come in, say hello, and hug your neck.

It is clearly a personal choice not to raise a family, and some people just don't need that kind of stress in their lives.
Some even have no business having kids, but that doesn't stop them from doing so only to make life hell for them because they don't care.

It is a huge thing to take on and is not always roses, I just don't think life would mean much to me without my family at this point.
To each their own, and if someone doesn't want kids by all means don't have any...But don't decide that without thinking of the future. Don't decide that thinking only of how you feel today, things change and at some point there will be no turning back.

A family represents a lifetime of love...Lonliness is a bitter end to an otherwise happy life.

Susie Q
04-03-2004, 09:23 AM
Originally posted by Cathedral
Everyone is different, but for me I felt incomplete without having children, and i was blessed with 2 at two different points in my life.
I can't imagine NOT having the chance to raise children and see my legacy live on beyond my years here on earth.

I had two girls, one has gone to be with God and the other is 8 years old now...Time is flying but i can't imagine never having had that experience.
I look back at everything i have done and feel complete now. I can go on to that dirt nap knowing i lived a full life so i have no fears.
Even though my chances of living to a ripe old age are not that great, I can only think how empty life would be as a senoir citizen without seeing my kids making a family of their own, the grandkids, the holidays, the thought of knowing that so many lives were touched by my mere and humble existance.
To grow old and have none of that seems a bit lonesome to me.

I see it everyday, The elderly in nursing homes who have had kids and have visitors regularly...and those who didn't have kids and spend day after day without anyone to come in, say hello, and hug your neck.

It is clearly a personal choice not to raise a family, and some people just don't need that kind of stress in their lives.
Some even have no business having kids, but that doesn't stop them from doing so only to make life hell for them because they don't care.

It is a huge thing to take on and is not always roses, I just don't think life would mean much to me without my family at this point.
To each their own, and if someone doesn't want kids by all means don't have any...But don't decide that without thinking of the future. Don't decide that thinking only of how you feel today, things change and at some point there will be no turning back.

A family represents a lifetime of love...Lonliness is a bitter end to an otherwise happy life.

Amen Cat, eloquently put. :)

hydrophane
04-06-2004, 05:21 AM
"It is clearly a personal choice not to raise a family, and some people just don't need that kind of stress in their lives.
Some even have no business having kids, but that doesn't stop them from doing so only to make life hell for them because they don't care."

Thanks for your support Susie Q and Cathedral.
I suspect I would not be a very good parent and this is one of the reasons that I don't plan on having kids. I don't dislike kids, in fact I get on really well with the kids where my pony lives - but I don't think I've got the right temperment for 24/7 with them! Having said that, as you rightly point out ,nothing is written in stone. So never say never.
I think I'd make a great Aunty, but not a great Mom. I couldn't live with myself if I thuoght my best was simply no where near good enough at the end of it. Not only would I be miserable, but so would my kids and probably a lot of people who had contact with them. The misery would spread out like water on a delta flood plain.
Fortunately I'm very happy in my own company and if I make a good aunty hopefully I won't be a grumpy old cow with no visitors in a nursing home!

Sweet Irony
04-06-2004, 05:26 PM
I never actually considered IF I wanted any kids, or WHEN I might want them.....it just kind of happened that I married young, had kids, and that was that. Of course, all these years later, I cant imagine how my life might have been if I had "done things differently".... I DO know that there was a spell of time, when my kids were grade school age, that you couldnt tie me to this house at night.....it was like I took up where Id left off---with young friends, young boyfriend, hanging out, all an attempt at some form of 'freedom' or 'independence'...which you dont ever actually have again after committing yourself to kids....
Anyway, it all turned out OK. Being relatively young with grown kids is kind of nice.....however, theres always the matter of those 6 GRANDCHILDREN...

;););)


As for the main topic here-----not everybody wants kids. Theres nothing wrong with that! There are plenty of ways for ones life to be fulfilled and children arent always the key. I dont know your age, Hydrophane, but you may change your mind someday. Or maybe you wont. But never feel like there is something wrong with you for feeling as you do. In a way, I find it kind of admirable....Not wanting kids & not having them is a FAR better choice to make than all the millions of people who have kids and dont really want them in the first place!

Rubnose
04-08-2004, 12:50 AM
Originally posted by hydrophane
I am so sick of everyone I know telling me that I will change my mind and want kids one day. In the last year I even had a three hour gestapo style grilling on the subject from my (no longer) boyfriend's mother - we'd only been together for 2 months! Am I really the only woman in the world that doesn't want kids?

Your going to change your mind and want kids oneday.

Only kidding.

hydrophane
04-08-2004, 04:20 AM
I wouldn't bet my life on me not changing my mind, but I wouldn't bet it on me changing my mind either. I'm happier with having the time to spend with my pony and cat. If I had kids I'd have a lot less time for my pony if not my cat as well. Before you suggest taking the kids to the pony, my pony can be quite jealous and would probably bite them, plus they'd just get in the way when they were little. hanks for the tolerance thuogh, it makes a nice change to being treated like an alien!

Switch84
04-08-2004, 05:22 AM
:) Kids are great! It's just not great (imo) to do it alone. For the short time I had with my parents, they were a positive example of what I would have wanted in a marriage. I haven't met a man that I'd want to venture into something as serious and lifelong as marriage and parenthood yet, thus my reason for postponing it altogether.

I refuse to settle for less in that area of my life.

hydrophane
04-08-2004, 07:49 AM
My parents marriage was terrible, so at least I know what I don't want! God luck with finding someone up to scratch for the job.

PHOENIX
04-08-2004, 07:02 PM
When you're 50 you'll really regret this decision.

Switch84
04-08-2004, 10:48 PM
:D I have a gazillion nieces and nephews, so I'm not deprived of being with children. They're the best kids to have, anyway; you can spoil them rotten, then GIVE THEM BACK to their parents!


AUNTIE MAME 4 EVER!!!


LMAO

SensibleShoes
04-09-2004, 01:10 AM
Cathedral's argument about the "comfort in your old age" issue is very eloquent. But I don't really buy it. There are plenty of seniors in nursing homes who HAVE children who are too selfish or lazy to visit and hug their necks. I suppose this comes down to how a parent raises a child - but not always. And it leads to my point.

Family is who you make it. Blood is a wonderful thing. But I was adopted. I was reunited with my birth family in the mid nineties. And while blood may be thicker than water, it doesn't make up for the fact that you don't have a past with these people.

But I have relationships that I can count on when things go down the tubes. People who are more special to me than my own family. Kids who I've invested lots of time, attention and financial resources on. If I end up alone in my old age - it will be my own fault - not due to my decision not to have kids.

And there are some REAL reasons to choose not to have kids as well. For instance, if you know you carry genes that are going to result in a life of hell for a child - then why create the child in the first place? And God forbid - if you KNOW you're too selfish to make a good parent - it seems a responsible thing to do not to reproduce.

That said - I suppose if I DID get pregnant at this adanced stage of life - I would look at it as an unexpected blessing.

Switch84
04-09-2004, 01:24 AM
:eek: Look at it this way. We all could've had Joan Crawford for a mother.


BUWHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!

hydrophane
04-13-2004, 09:20 AM
I know I wont regret it. For starters I rarely look back over my life in that way. There's simply no point, once the chance/moment has passed it's passed and gone. A new chance/moment may come up, but it wont be the same one.
As Sensible shoes said it's up to me, not my kids or lack of them, to ensure I have a happy future.