bueno bob
02-10-2006, 05:28 AM
So I went and picked up my wife from work earlier tonight...all things as normal...brought her home, and then I realized that I hadn't really been out grocery shopping, so there wasn't jack shit in the house to make for dinner. Obviously, I've got three starving to death children begging for food before they all die, so I decided to go up to the store (about a three minute drive from our place) to get some dinner.
I parked, walked inside the store and picked out some easy shit - a couple of microwavable pizzas (for Cody and Mikk), a chicken nugget TV dinner (for Austin) and two cans of Beefaroni (for Arletta). Myself, I'm moderating my food intake, so I opted to pass on dinner (I wasn't really hungry, anyway).
I paid, got everything put into one plastic bag (as there wasn't all that much), walked outside into the parking lot, and the wind had picked up again. Now, it's important to clarify that the wind has been REALLY strong here as of late and gusting VERY heavily.
I was putting the bag of food into the passengers side of my car, and as I looked up, I noticed there were a few loose shopping carts standing around in the lot...and that the wind was blowing them! I thought "Oh, shit...this is going to suck for some people right about now", and the carts rolled off and hit two or three different vehicles. Not bad, you know...no damage or anything. I'd have stopped them if I had had a chance, but there wasn't really any time to do so.
Anyway, I got in my car and began to drive off when all of a sudden this car with two kids (and by kids, I mean maybe 22-25ish, age-wise) pull up right next to me and start flagging me. Being the inquisitive sort, I rolled down my window to see what they needed.
"Hey man - you ARE aware that you just bashed my car with two of your shopping carts, right?" says the one. "Yeah, we just fucking saw you do it," his passenger kicks in.
At this point, I'm figuring these guys have the combined intelligence of a garden hoe, so I kinda roll my eyes at them and say "Is that the case? Really and truly?".
"Yeah - we fucking saw you do it, dude," the first guy says.
"BOTH of my carts hit your car, hunh?", I asked, exaggerating as much as I can for effect.
"That's right," they say.
"Oh really? Well, that's a damn shame I guess...considering I didn't have a shopping cart, let alone two of them, and the wind's blowing them around the lot here like crazy still...so you boys just have yourself a good night now," I say, rolling up my window.
Of course, they give me the "FUCK YOU!"s and middle fingers and so forth, but I don't put much stock behind that out of brats barely out of their teens, so I drive off and head back home.
**************
Remember I said I only lived a few minutes away?
I pulled into my drive-way, drove around the corner to my place, put the car in it's spot, etc...I get out and rushing up behind me is the car from the grocery store.
Mother fuckers followed me home.
I said to myself, "OK then", crossed my arms and just waited - and they drove on by. Now, I figured they'd be circling around or something, so I used the opportunity to take the food inside and had the kids go get their mother (figuring I may end up needing a witness here).
So we go outside and wait to see what's going to happen, and the kids come out and start advancing on my car. OK then. I begin to walk forward towards them when one of them pulls out a FUCKING TASER and begins to threaten us with it.
Now, it's one thing to be dickheads in the parking lot because you're attention starved.
It's yet another thing to follow me home after I brush you off.
IT IS QUITE ANOTHER to threaten me, my family or my property outside of my house. Now I possess about six or seven guns and other forms of self-defense, but I'm not allowed to keep any of them in the house (her rules with the kids, and that's what I got), so she decides that we're going to call the police. Since I don't have any other form of self-defense for either myself or them, I follow her lead and we call the cops...she tells them most of what happens, they later talk to me for the details, and meanwhile I've got two mid-20's kids outside armed with at least a taser (and God knows what else), probably waiting for me to leave...
Anyway, it's been dark, so I can't give them TOO awful much in the way of description, so I give them what I've got and figure that, given five minutes or so, the kids'll be long gone.
The police showed up about five minutes later and nabbed them hiding outside my house. When they were talking to me, they asked me if I wanted to look at them again to make sure I can identify them...I said sure...about that time, they told me they just scanned their car and had just pulled out a taser.
Anyway, the kids ended up getting arrested and I ended up making dinner.
Isn't it grate? I have such a strong effect on people! :D
Hope it was worth it to them...lmao
I parked, walked inside the store and picked out some easy shit - a couple of microwavable pizzas (for Cody and Mikk), a chicken nugget TV dinner (for Austin) and two cans of Beefaroni (for Arletta). Myself, I'm moderating my food intake, so I opted to pass on dinner (I wasn't really hungry, anyway).
I paid, got everything put into one plastic bag (as there wasn't all that much), walked outside into the parking lot, and the wind had picked up again. Now, it's important to clarify that the wind has been REALLY strong here as of late and gusting VERY heavily.
I was putting the bag of food into the passengers side of my car, and as I looked up, I noticed there were a few loose shopping carts standing around in the lot...and that the wind was blowing them! I thought "Oh, shit...this is going to suck for some people right about now", and the carts rolled off and hit two or three different vehicles. Not bad, you know...no damage or anything. I'd have stopped them if I had had a chance, but there wasn't really any time to do so.
Anyway, I got in my car and began to drive off when all of a sudden this car with two kids (and by kids, I mean maybe 22-25ish, age-wise) pull up right next to me and start flagging me. Being the inquisitive sort, I rolled down my window to see what they needed.
"Hey man - you ARE aware that you just bashed my car with two of your shopping carts, right?" says the one. "Yeah, we just fucking saw you do it," his passenger kicks in.
At this point, I'm figuring these guys have the combined intelligence of a garden hoe, so I kinda roll my eyes at them and say "Is that the case? Really and truly?".
"Yeah - we fucking saw you do it, dude," the first guy says.
"BOTH of my carts hit your car, hunh?", I asked, exaggerating as much as I can for effect.
"That's right," they say.
"Oh really? Well, that's a damn shame I guess...considering I didn't have a shopping cart, let alone two of them, and the wind's blowing them around the lot here like crazy still...so you boys just have yourself a good night now," I say, rolling up my window.
Of course, they give me the "FUCK YOU!"s and middle fingers and so forth, but I don't put much stock behind that out of brats barely out of their teens, so I drive off and head back home.
**************
Remember I said I only lived a few minutes away?
I pulled into my drive-way, drove around the corner to my place, put the car in it's spot, etc...I get out and rushing up behind me is the car from the grocery store.
Mother fuckers followed me home.
I said to myself, "OK then", crossed my arms and just waited - and they drove on by. Now, I figured they'd be circling around or something, so I used the opportunity to take the food inside and had the kids go get their mother (figuring I may end up needing a witness here).
So we go outside and wait to see what's going to happen, and the kids come out and start advancing on my car. OK then. I begin to walk forward towards them when one of them pulls out a FUCKING TASER and begins to threaten us with it.
Now, it's one thing to be dickheads in the parking lot because you're attention starved.
It's yet another thing to follow me home after I brush you off.
IT IS QUITE ANOTHER to threaten me, my family or my property outside of my house. Now I possess about six or seven guns and other forms of self-defense, but I'm not allowed to keep any of them in the house (her rules with the kids, and that's what I got), so she decides that we're going to call the police. Since I don't have any other form of self-defense for either myself or them, I follow her lead and we call the cops...she tells them most of what happens, they later talk to me for the details, and meanwhile I've got two mid-20's kids outside armed with at least a taser (and God knows what else), probably waiting for me to leave...
Anyway, it's been dark, so I can't give them TOO awful much in the way of description, so I give them what I've got and figure that, given five minutes or so, the kids'll be long gone.
The police showed up about five minutes later and nabbed them hiding outside my house. When they were talking to me, they asked me if I wanted to look at them again to make sure I can identify them...I said sure...about that time, they told me they just scanned their car and had just pulled out a taser.
Anyway, the kids ended up getting arrested and I ended up making dinner.
Isn't it grate? I have such a strong effect on people! :D
Hope it was worth it to them...lmao