Favourite Comedy CD Quotes!

[RuzDNailz]

I was listening to a buddy's George Carlin CD and came across one
skit that made me laugh my ass off! Here's the bit;

'If I drop something on the ground that I'm eating...I don't care! I'll pick it up and eat it! Heck, I don't care where I am! I could be in the middle of Calcutta, in a cafe, in the poor section, on New Year's Eve,
after a soccer riot....I would pick it up...and EAT IT! That's right I'll eat
it!'.

Of course George's infamous cheerleading chant; 'Ratshit! Batshit! Dirty old twat! 69 assholes tied in a knot! Hooray lizardshit.....FUCK!!'

Nothing beats a great comedy CD that makes you piss with laughter!
Anybody got some memorable quotes from a Comedy CD?

[Mr. Vengeance]

"Hey were here, we've travelled 7000 miles to bring you this food, and you know it occured to us on the way, that there wouldn't be world hunger if YOU MOVED WHERE THE FUCKIN' FOOD IS!!!!!!!! YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT!!!! See this??? hmmmm?? This is sand. Yeah..NOTHING GROWS IN THIS!!!!!!! WE HAVE DESERTS IN AMERICA TOO, WE JUST DON'T LIVE IN THEM, ASSHOLE!!!!!!"

- Sam Kinison, Louder Than Hell 1986

[Douglas T.]

Mexican Americaansssssss .. don't like to get up in te morninggg, but they have toooo, so they dooo it reallll sloooow! ~ Tommy Chong

WELL! ExcuuuuUUUuuussssse MeeeEEee! ~ Steve Martin

[Douglas T.]

"Excuse me but as you can see have have got somewhere to go!"

[Douglas T.]

"The ICE CREAM MAN is coming the ICE CREAM MAN is coming!"
"We're having ice cream and you can't have none ..... 'cuz your on da welfare!" ~ Eddie Murphy

[Mr. Vengeance]

"You GOTTA to wash your ass!"
- Redd Foxx

[Douglas T.]

I'm just a Wiiiild and Craaaaazy guy!

[Big Troubles]

Jackie "The JokeMan" is cool.

[mako_kimura]

"Vooba, vooba, vooba *ding* NOAH. What? IT'S THE LORD, NOAH"
-Bill Cosby, 1967

[Douglas T.]

What the fuck is gunny goo goo!?! ~ Eddie Murphy Delirious:cool: