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View Full Version : Bush Thrilled To Be Reading At 6th Grade Level...



Matt White
04-03-2006, 07:53 AM
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By DAVID TOLSEY

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A White House spokesperson announced President Bush is reading successfully at the sixth grade level.

"The President is absolutely thrilled at his latest achievement," said Edward Thurut. "And he wants the American people to know just how far he's progressed the past year. He's been officially tested by the D.C. school board, and the results arrived at Pennsylvania Avenue earlier this morning. The President wishes to thank all those who believed in him, especially First Lady Laura, the lovely librarian who won his heart so many years ago."

While Bush supporters were celebrating the good news, several leading Democrats used the moment to paint an entirely different picture of George W. Bush.

Said DNC Deputy Chairman Clarence Slaughtery: "This man is the President of the U.S., and he's just now reading at a sixth grade level? What were the American people thinking reelecting him?

"You know, I'll even go so far as to suggest that Dick Cheney takes the reading tests for him. After all, this is the guy who runs the White House anyway."

While many educators across the U.S. have applauded the President's persistence in trying to improve his reading comprehension, there's a growing concern over his mathematical aptitude as well.

"It's clear the President's mathematical comprehension is also on par with a junior high school child," said Constance Souron, William and Terri University's Dean of Education. "That's ironic, considering it's our children who will be left dealing with this outlandish budget deficit he created."

bueno bob
04-03-2006, 07:56 AM
Smashing!!!

This should be stickied to the Front Line!!!

Matt White
04-03-2006, 08:01 AM
:p Too much humor for the FRONT LINE!!!:D

bueno bob
04-03-2006, 08:10 AM
Yeah...

Heaven knows there can't be any of that!!

:D

ThrillsNSpills
04-03-2006, 09:22 AM
6th graders can say nuclear properly.

Coyote
04-03-2006, 09:30 AM
Nice to see that America has a well educated prez. :D

Hardrock69
04-03-2006, 09:43 AM
LMFAO!!!!

To have a trained chimp be able to read at sizth-grade level is absolutely amazing....

Coyote
04-03-2006, 09:49 AM
Hey! Don't mess with "Da Chimp"! Or he'll throw bananas at you... :D

Roy Munson
04-03-2006, 10:43 AM
And to think...he got BETTER grades at Yale than John Kerry did!!

So, what's Kerry up to now? Is he past the 3rd grade yet?

:rolleyes:

bueno bob
04-03-2006, 11:39 AM
Originally posted by Coyote
Hey! Don't mess with "Da Chimp"! Or he'll throw bananas at you... :D

And his scat...

bueno bob
04-03-2006, 11:40 AM
Originally posted by Roy Munson
And to think...he got BETTER grades at Yale than John Kerry did!!

So, what's Kerry up to now? Is he past the 3rd grade yet?

:rolleyes:

He's about to get another shot of botox and remind people that he got two purple hearts.

:)

Matt White
04-03-2006, 12:36 PM
And that he won the election........

FORD
04-03-2006, 02:02 PM
Originally posted by bueno bob
He's about to get another shot of botox and remind people that he got two purple hearts.

:)


http://slapnose.com/images/blog/1104/1104_kerry_message320x256.jpg
Actually, it was three purple hearts. And the botox was just a goddamned rumor. Do you really think you can create a facial expression like this with injections?

Actually, it was Teresa's secret Heinz 57 facial mask treatments that restored my youthful glowing appearance. That, and lots of windsurfing.

thome
04-03-2006, 02:08 PM
If it's Nuke Klee R

Why do people say Nuke

shouldn't they say Nukelee

I say its Nuke que lar

so i can say Nookee

Put that in you pipe and smoke it smoookie

Roy Munson
04-03-2006, 03:24 PM
Originally posted by Matt White
And that he won the election........


Who?

Little Texan
04-04-2006, 12:46 AM
Originally posted by Roy Munson
And to think...he got BETTER grades at Yale than John Kerry did!!



I'm sure those Yale professors were well compensated for W's high marks by Bush Sr.

Matt White
04-04-2006, 12:58 AM
Originally posted by Roy Munson
Who?

http://www.asu.edu/clubs/sdjk/kerry1.jpg


Come on now...I've been hearing Cuntservatives bitch aboot Kennedy & the socialcrats stealing the 1960 election for my entire life...

This one's gonna be around for a while too....

Cathedral
04-04-2006, 03:06 AM
MAN DOES THAT MONKEY SHINE!

At this point all he has to do is wake up in the morning to piss me off.

blueturk
04-04-2006, 07:16 AM
"I want to thank you for the importance that you've shown for education and literacy." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 13, 2005

Roy Munson
04-04-2006, 10:47 AM
Originally posted by Little Texan
I'm sure those Yale professors were well compensated for W's high marks by Bush Sr.


Not everyone does what your parents did.

Roy Munson
04-04-2006, 10:48 AM
Originally posted by Matt White
http://www.asu.edu/clubs/sdjk/kerry1.jpg


Come on now...I've been hearing Cuntservatives bitch aboot Kennedy & the socialcrats stealing the 1960 election for my entire life...

This one's gonna be around for a while too....


You have to be kidding me.

:rolleyes:

Matt White
04-04-2006, 11:53 AM
No....not at all....

Why do you ask?

An election 46 years ago still somehow holds some relevancy...while the 2000 & 2004 elections should be swept under the rug?:confused:


Same old criminals up to the same old game.....

Hardrock69
04-04-2006, 01:44 PM
This is about his level...