Ideas on How to get rid of neighbors?

[Big Troubles]

Seriously I have this serious bitch with her middle finger flipping kids driving me apeshit. She calls the cops on everything. "That man tried to run over my child on his bike" give me a break. I was ten feet from him. Another time was when I was taking pictures of my kids playing in front lawn, she called the police to say "he's taking pictures of my kids and me". This totaly borders harassments, and I realise this, but lawyers and courts are bullshit. The police belive me and think she's whacked. But its a civil matter. Im kinda hoping someone here will throw some good ideas my way to totaly fucking destroy the woman who likes to play mind games with BT. Any ideas?

Im looking at Flappo, Viking, Lou, Lucky Wilbury, Panamark, Phoenix, Five, Ascroft and even you two lesbians LSD and Hina for any ideas.
Natra and Slave your more than welcome to help me out.

Nothing where they end up dead. Just something where they are left scratching their heads knowing it was me that did "it" but can't prove "it". Or should I just get a lawyer? LOL

[Big Troubles]

and no fire "accidents" please. :D

[Dr. Love]

Well, I have about 1.3 billion ideas ... but you didn't ask ME, did you? ;)

[twonabomber]

shit on the hood of her car.

[Big Troubles]

LOL ok. Im not sure I could do THAT... :lol:

[Big Troubles]

ok dr love. whatcha got for me?

[twonabomber]

do they own that home or rent it?

[Big Troubles]

rent.

[Viking]

Hmmm.....this is gonna take some thinking. Well, I suppose that the most legal way to do it is to get the cops to compile a history of every false report she's filed against you, then get a restraining order. Or:

1) Use the oldie-but-a-goodie of a lit bag of dogshit on her front porch;

2) Wait until she's not home. Sneak into her house, find the bathroom, and take an 'upper-decker' (that's where you take the lid off the top on the tank, perch over it and take a good shit, then put the tank lid back on - but DON'T flush! It's gotta sit in there and ferment. By the second or third flush, she'll be beating her derelict kids in the head with a frying pan for it. :D )

3) Feed her dog Immodium AD for a week straight, then suddenly switch it over to chocolate Ex-Lax. It'll be howling and dragging it's ass across the carpet for days. :D

4) Sneak into her house with a little paint brush and a bottle of honey. Paint 'GET OUT' in nice big letters on the living room wall. When the ants come marching in and queue up on it, she'll think the place is fuckin' possessed.

5) Put a live snake under the front seat of her car. A potato in her exhaust pipe is good for a laugh, too. :D

[Big Troubles]

Originally posted by Viking
Hmmm.....this is gonna take some thinking. Well, I suppose that the most legal way to do it is to get the cops to compile a history of every false report she's filed against you, then get a restraining order. Or:

1) Use the oldie-but-a-goodie of a lit bag of dogshit on her front porch;

2) Wait until she's not home. Sneak into her house, find the bathroom, and take an 'upper-decker' (that's where you take the lid off the top on the tank, perch over it and take a good shit, then put the tank lid back on - but DON'T flush! It's gotta sit in there and ferment. By the second or third flush, she'll be beating her derelict kids in the head with a frying pan for it. :D )

3) Feed her dog Immodium AD for a week straight, then suddenly switch it over to chocolate Ex-Lax. It'll be howling and dragging it's ass across the carpet for days. :D

4) Sneak into her house with a little paint brush and a bottle of honey. Paint 'GET OUT' in nice big letters on the living room wall. When the ants come marching in and queue up on it, she'll think the place is fuckin' possessed.

5) Put a live snake under the front seat of her car. A potato in her exhaust pipe is good for a laugh, too. :D

I will have a few beer friday night. smoke a pipe full, and wait for them to leave. Its clock work. Friday at 8pm until 11 30pm they are gone. I'll get the nerve up, and do at least the honey painting "get out" and for sure take a shit in the tank. LOL I love it. Thanks man. Very cool.

[MAX]

Hey BT,

Evil Max to the rescue!!! (http://www.student.uit.no/~paalde/revenge/Scripts/PLA003.html)

Enjoy my friend!

[thefive]

What you do is you super clue there car lock. Superglue the drivers side so he has to walk around get inside from the passanger door every time. (to get this fixed it costs 75 dollars every time.

2. Get your paging numbers in your area. Page like 500 people and punch the persons number in so the pager has to call them. Try it at her work first because if she has to answer at her work she has to say This is Sharon's Salon how can i help you instead of just hello.

3. If you know what car she has go get one of those newspapers that you can trade cars. Put an ad in those papers that you want to trade cars with her. Just give her phone number out. But make it a total deal. Your car that is in the newspaper is a piece of shit and then hers is a good car. Trade is the main key. Boy she will be getting a lot of phone calls.

4. If they go away on vacation just turn on all the water hoses on the whole time they are gone.

thefive

[Panamark]

Its hard to beat that link of MAX's, some great advice there.
I cant stress enough how successful loud music (preferably death metal) or taking up the drums can be in this situation. Im not aware of the noise laws in the US, but in OZ you can create as much racquet as you like between about 8 in the morning and 10 at night. If thats the same there, use it to your advantage. How is your property
positioned in relation to her place ?? Can you use this to your advantage ? Put up or build shit that will piss them off. Is she downhill
to you ? You can always fuck her garden up.. Flood her backyard etc.
Create a rotting compost heap on her edge of the property ?

Building projects are great, you can drill and hammer and make all
sorts of annoying sounds. Think of things that would piss you off, and do it to her. Mow the lawns at innapropriate times, walk around naked with the windows open. Theres a lot you can do to piss people off that is totally legal.

I hope some of that helps ! Good luck, I hate problem neighbours.

I can think of nastier shit to do, but you can get busted... :)

[SoCalChelle]

Originally posted by Viking
4) Sneak into her house with a little paint brush and a bottle of honey. Paint 'GET OUT' in nice big letters on the living room wall. When the ants come marching in and queue up on it, she'll think the place is fuckin' possessed.



Fuck! That's brilliant! LMAO!

[Panamark]

Yes there are some good solutions mentioned, but I got the feeling that BT didnt want to do anything that he could get busted for.
Breaking into their property and painting shit on their house, to me, is bustworthy. :D

But that idea of Vikings is good, if you could get them to think their house is haunted (if they are the type of people that worry about that kind of shit) thats another good angle.

If I think about all the places I have wanted to leave its always been from an extremely noisey dog, extemely noisey people or music (and not music that I like, middle eastern arabic shit at loud volumes is a good example). Or that they have done something in their yard that pisses me off. Built some sort of ugly structure that pissed me off, yet I could do nothing about legally. A good recent example was a
neighbor mounted a Satellite receiver dish on his side wall that literally overlooked my pool area. That looked farken ugly and totally ruined the pool area. Luckily for me the place next door is rented and Im pretty good with the owner, so I was able to get that shit removed.

Are they Black ?? Maybe walk around in a KKK costume inside your house with open windows ?? heheheheh.. That would work with some
white folk too... Disturbing the serenity or the environment in which they live is the best "legal" way to piss em off....

Or somehow make them think you are seriously dangerous or mentally ill...

[Panamark]

Actually, you could also possibly use her way of thinking against her. She already believes you are taking pics of them. How about start pretending to do that more and more ? :D Obviously you can point cameras around without actually taking pics, but she doesnt know that. If you have a window that overlooks their property, stand in the window with a Handheld VideoCamera too, (but dont actually film anything). The cops cant bust you if you dont actually record images or take pictures. Maybe that would be enough to creep the bitch out ??

[Igosplut]

Go to any place that does fiberglass hull boat work (if you have that in you area) Get a quart of liquid styrene (used in making plastics). Its brown and sorta syrupy. Sneak over at night, Pop her hood, and pour the quart into her engine oil.

Styrene reacts with heat. As soon as the engine comes up to temperature, the styrene solidifys locking the motor up. End of motor. Plus, its really hard to tell what the fuck happened, the color being brown like oil you wouldnt know unless you knew.

The other thing that comes to mind is take her phone number (assuming that you could get it) And place a number of personal adds. Go to the papers in person with fake ID (if they even ask) and give them her phone number as if it was yours. Real kinky shit, multiple partners, Ect. Do it a few towns over so you you cant be readly IDed. The people at the paper wont think it strange that your advertising away from you town because of the content of the add.....

[GAR]

Potato in the exhaust pipe will blow the head gasket.

Nuff said.

[Susie Q]

Let me tell you how I dealt with the "assholes" next door. I have been in a mini war with them for the last few months. This is what I ended up doing.

I first tried to talk to the mother (she is a single mother of three spawn). I would ask her nicely, and even pleaded with her. Nothing ever happened. My mother would go next door and have a "motherly" chat with her. Nothing happened. I started to get the cops involved(late night partying, fights going on with broken windows, cars screeching down the street, kids out of control, mother leaving her kids unattended, her property looking like it needs to be condemned)next. Then the SPCA/Animal Control officer for the dog. (quick side note....her dog is a beautiful german sheppard that she keeps on a heavy 3 foot leash. The dog has a kiddie swimming pool for water. It's muddy, and infested with bug shit, etc. They rarely feed the dog)

Finally, my parents who are elderly, were just up in arms with all the goings on. Her kids would taunt them by calling my mother a fucking bitch, my father a asshole. Blocking the driveway when he wants to park his car, then give him the finger and run into thier house. The other people who are on the street, most are elderly who are not in good health. They are actually afraid of this tramp next door. SO.....I had to step in and kick some ass. Best way to do it is LEGALLY.

I contacted the police and asked if I could have the police reports of how many times the police were called on this particular residence, and this woman. They said I had to obtain a "Freedom of Information act" through my city hall. Then I asked for another "Freedom of Information act" for the Code Enforcer for City housing. I got all her violations on her place. There were 3 pages full. Her blotter report was 90 counts on it. The cops said it was so long it would take a week to print. My mother went around and got a petition signed by all the people who live on the street, and who live in back of her. The next step is I went down to my Common Council meeting that they hold the first Tuesday of the month. I supplied each alderman a copy of the blotter report, the code inspection, and the signatures. Then I also gave them a copy of our complaints with a speech included.

The next day...here is what happened.

* Dog Warden again shows up and demands that they house the dog better, feed him, water him, etc.

*Cops show up and demand that the unregistered vehicle either get registered or she will pay the city to remove it.

*Code Inspector came up and had her clean her back yard, front yard, and side yard.

*The police have done routine drive bys.

Life has been quite peaceful since.:)

[gothqueen]

How do you get rid of nasty neighbors, you say? We used to have that same problem. The guy who lives next door to us used to shout vulgarity and make rude gestures at my dad when I was little. My dad got so disgusted that he started video taping everything the bozo next door did, then taking the tapes to the police. Finally we got the dude to calm down. The guy couldn't lie about his behavior anymore. Tapes don't lie.
Wanna know the best way to get rid of her? Invite her over to dinner and feed her something poisonous or rotten. Then hide her body someone where no one will ever find it. Clear enough?? Or get a really mean dog (if you don't have one already) and train it to attack her whenever it sees her. :D

[Mezro]

Originally posted by Big Troubles
But its a civil matter. Im kinda hoping someone here will throw some good ideas my way to totaly fucking destroy the woman who likes to play mind games with BT. Any ideas?

Get a lawyer and have them draft a letter to that bitch's landlord. Claim that she is violating "peaceable enjoyment of property" (there is a clause in her lease about this) and document all the issues accordingly and gather up any and all police reports.

You can build a case against her and force her landlord to evict with just cause. It isn't as hard as you my think.

Mezro...when it doubt just litigate it out

[Hippy Hater]

She married? try to get one of your friends to get her to cheat on him, and while they are in the middle of it, take some pictures and the bitch won't do a damn thing to you again.

[BIGBADZERO]

Maybe you should move.

[Sarge]

Originally posted by Hippy Hater
She married? try to get one of your friends to get her to cheat on him, and while they are in the middle of it, take some pictures and the bitch won't do a damn thing to you again.



Jesus Christ that is funny....

[WHAT A ROCKER]

Originally posted by thefive
What you do is you super clue there car lock. Superglue the drivers side so he has to walk around get inside from the passanger door every time. (to get this fixed it costs 75 dollars every time.

2. Get your paging numbers in your area. Page like 500 people and punch the persons number in so the pager has to call them. Try it at her work first because if she has to answer at her work she has to say This is Sharon's Salon how can i help you instead of just hello.

3. If you know what car she has go get one of those newspapers that you can trade cars. Put an ad in those papers that you want to trade cars with her. Just give her phone number out. But make it a total deal. Your car that is in the newspaper is a piece of shit and then hers is a good car. Trade is the main key. Boy she will be getting a lot of phone calls.

4. If they go away on vacation just turn on all the water hoses on the whole time they are gone.



{EvIl LaUgHtEr} Oh! I LOVE these Ideas. I have 2 physco Bitches nextdoor to me. The daughter is so FUGLY my dogs run when they see her. She started this whole thing & called the cops,said I was harrassing her. She can hear my phone conversations. I let my dog out
in front of MY house & she calls the police tells them my dog was pissing on her lawn. She accused me of (in her exact words) standing in the window all day giving her the finger. Yeah, I got nothing better to do. She & her mom are evil bitches & I am dying to get back at them!!
Thanks for the great Ideas!!!
:D

[diamond den™]

Originally posted by Susie Q
Let me tell you how I dealt with the "assholes" next door. I have been in a mini war with them for the last few months. This is what I ended up doing.

I first tried to talk to the mother (she is a single mother of three spawn). I would ask her nicely, and even pleaded with her. Nothing ever happened. My mother would go next door and have a "motherly" chat with her. Nothing happened. I started to get the cops involved(late night partying, fights going on with broken windows, cars screeching down the street, kids out of control, mother leaving her kids unattended, her property looking like it needs to be condemned)next. Then the SPCA/Animal Control officer for the dog. (quick side note....her dog is a beautiful german sheppard that she keeps on a heavy 3 foot leash. The dog has a kiddie swimming pool for water. It's muddy, and infested with bug shit, etc. They rarely feed the dog)

Finally, my parents who are elderly, were just up in arms with all the goings on. Her kids would taunt them by calling my mother a fucking bitch, my father a asshole. Blocking the driveway when he wants to park his car, then give him the finger and run into thier house. The other people who are on the street, most are elderly who are not in good health. They are actually afraid of this tramp next door. SO.....I had to step in and kick some ass. Best way to do it is LEGALLY.

I contacted the police and asked if I could have the police reports of how many times the police were called on this particular residence, and this woman. They said I had to obtain a "Freedom of Information act" through my city hall. Then I asked for another "Freedom of Information act" for the Code Enforcer for City housing. I got all her violations on her place. There were 3 pages full. Her blotter report was 90 counts on it. The cops said it was so long it would take a week to print. My mother went around and got a petition signed by all the people who live on the street, and who live in back of her. The next step is I went down to my Common Council meeting that they hold the first Tuesday of the month. I supplied each alderman a copy of the blotter report, the code inspection, and the signatures. Then I also gave them a copy of our complaints with a speech included.

The next day...here is what happened.

* Dog Warden again shows up and demands that they house the dog better, feed him, water him, etc.

*Cops show up and demand that the unregistered vehicle either get registered or she will pay the city to remove it.

*Code Inspector came up and had her clean her back yard, front yard, and side yard.

*The police have done routine drive bys.

Life has been quite peaceful since.:)

You're a Panda™ :)