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Shaun Ponsonby
05-21-2006, 12:25 PM
SAMMY HAGAR

1) He looks like Ronald McDonald
Spammy Gaygar wears red and yellow pyjamas on stage, and these days she's fat. He also has red-ish hair on occasions. Therefore, he is Ronald McDonald


2) Tequila
Samuel Roy Hagar spends more time selling his tequila, Cabo Wabo, and his chain of bars, also called "Cabo Wabo" than making music (although, that's not nescceserily a bad thing). Your lastest album is called "The Tequila Made Me Do It", you wrote a song called "Cabo Wabo". Cunt.

3) His album covers
They have to be seen to be believed. "Voice of America" and "Boxed" are particular highlights.


4) His Songs
Once again, they need to be heard. "I Can't Drive 55"? Why don't you try. You never know, you might DIE, Spammy, you might die.

5) When he replaced David Lee Roth in Van Halen, he turned them into pure Cheese
They went from song titles like "Hot For Teacher", "Running With The Devil" and "Meanstreets", to "Why Can't This Be Love?", "Up For Breakfast" and "When It's Love". Spam-go fuck yourself, or get Michael Anthony to do it for you. Which brings us nicely to reason number 6...

6) Michael Anthony is your bitch
Of all the people in the world who could be your bum partner, you pick the simpleton bass player from Van Halen-the one no-one knows. You even had a series of gay porn movies, hence, number 7...

7) His Gay Porn Movies with Michael Anthony
Oh, yea-"Why Can't This Be Greasy Man-Love?", "Cabo Wanko", "I Can't Drive Whilst You're Sucking Me Off, Mike", "Voice of the Fags"-there are others.

8) His Hair
You poodle-haired Twat.

9) His Lies
"Van Halen sold more albums with me". Oh, really? Thats not what the official figures say. In reality, Van Halen with David Lee Roth sold over twice the amount they did with you-with the same amount of albums. Why don't you just stop lying, and dissing the diamond one and realise he is better than you.

10) He's Shit
I thought I'd save the most obvious until last.




That was 10 reasons to hate Sammy Hagar. Join us next time, when we will tell you why you should hate John Lennon.

bueno bob
05-21-2006, 12:27 PM
Given time and inclination, I could think of three hundred more reasons...

At least.

Shaun Ponsonby
05-21-2006, 12:28 PM
Just sticking to 10 for now. Maybe I'll do a sequel one day.

binnie
05-21-2006, 01:19 PM
No. 10 is more than enough of a reason

Can't think of any to like him actually.

Shaun Ponsonby
05-21-2006, 01:35 PM
TRUE DAT.

binnie
05-21-2006, 01:56 PM
although.....


Am I gonna get bitch slapped for saying that the first Montrose album was good?

Hagar was ok when he had but Ronnie montrose telling him what to do.

but that's one moment in 35 years of shit

Reverberator
05-21-2006, 06:16 PM
I love Sam Hagar .

Reverberator
05-21-2006, 06:18 PM
He's the best chip shop owner in Biggleswade .

And don't you ever forget it .

Shaun Ponsonby
05-22-2006, 03:53 AM
Originally posted by binnie
although.....


Am I gonna get bitch slapped for saying that the first Montrose album was good?

Hagar was ok when he had but Ronnie montrose telling him what to do.

but that's one moment in 35 years of shit

Nope, there's a few of us who agree. Including, Sheep Pen founder Rikk and myself.

Where is Rikk anyways?

Shaun Ponsonby
05-26-2006, 06:54 AM
10 Reasons To Hate...John Lennon

1) "Working Class Hero"?
John Lennon was not the "Working Class Hero"-he was middle-class. He even faked his accent, he was actually quite well spoken.

2) Yoko Ono
Imagine life without Yoko Ono. Bliss.

3) The Beatles Snob
Without John Lennon you wouldn't have The Beatles, and without The Beatles you wouldn't have The Beatles Snob, the guy who thinks they did everything there is to do in music. Which, they didn't.

4) Overrated
Wow! I can't believe I haven't said this yet. You can't say "overrated" enough when you're talking about John Lennon. Watch-overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated. See? It feels much better now doesn't it?

5) Lyrics
Nobody wrote an academic thesis on the inner meaning of lyrics before Lennon started wittering on about "newspaper taxis" and "marshmallow skies". Its all his fault. If he hadn't have done that, we'd have been spared Tipper Gore, and her saying rock music was evil and had hidden satanic messages. By the way-NOBODY GIVES A FUCK WHO THE FUCKING WALRUS WAS.

6) The Magical Mystery Tour
The Beatles spoiled Christmas Day in 1968 when all the kids were all wrestled away from their turkey and Dennis The Menace annuals to watch "The Magical Mystery Tour"-the most frightful load of bollocks yet committed to celluloid. Including Yellow Submarine. And, yes, I am aware that it was actually broadcast in 1967, and not 1968., it doesn't make it any less sh*t. And, if you spotted that delibarate mistake, consider yourself a Beatles Snob (see reason 3).

7) Do-gooder Rockstar
Lennon was the first rockstar who wanted to save the world. Without him, we would have been spared Chris Martin, Bono and Bob Geldof.

8) Scousers HAVE to be Fans
People think that just because you are from Liverpool, you have to love everything Lennon-related. This makes you want to kill. Lets put it this way. A famous Queen fan=all round rice guy and sought-after DJ Bob Harris. A famous John Lennon fan=Charlie Manson. I rest my case.

9) Number Nine
Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9.

10) Britpop
His fault.



That was 10 reasons to hate John Lennon. Join us next time when we explore the faults of Sharon Osbourne (that one might be "To be continued...").

bueno bob
05-26-2006, 06:59 AM
Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby
10 Reasons To Hate...John Lennon

1) "Working Class Hero"?
John Lennon was not the "Working Class Hero"-he was middle-class. He even faked his accent, he was actually quite well spoken.

2) Yoko Ono
Imagine life without Yoko Ono. Bliss.

3) The Beatles Snob
Without John Lennon you wouldn't have The Beatles, and without The Beatles you wouldn't have The Beatles Snob, the guy who thinks they did everything there is to do in music. Which, they didn't.

4) Overrated
Wow! I can't believe I haven't said this yet. You can't say "overrated" enough when you're talking about John Lennon. Watch-overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated. See? It feels much better now doesn't it?

5) Lyrics
Nobody wrote an academic thesis on the inner meaning of lyrics before Lennon started wittering on about "newspaper taxis" and "marshmallow skies". Its all his fault. If he hadn't have done that, we'd have been spared Tipper Gore, and her saying rock music was evil and had hidden satanic messages. By the way-NOBODY GIVES A FUCK WHO THE FUCKING WALRUS WAS.

6) The Magical Mystery Tour
The Beatles spoiled Christmas Day in 1968 when all the kids were all wrestled away from their turkey and Dennis The Menace annuals to watch "The Magical Mystery Tour"-the most frightful load of bollocks yet committed to celluloid. Including Yellow Submarine. And, yes, I am aware that it was actually broadcast in 1967, and not 1968., it doesn't make it any less sh*t. And, if you spotted that delibarate mistake, consider yourself a Beatles Snob (see reason 3).

7) Do-gooder Rockstar
Lennon was the first rockstar who wanted to save the world. Without him, we would have been spared Chris Martin, Bono and Bob Geldof.

8) Scousers HAVE to be Fans
People think that just because you are from Liverpool, you have to love everything Lennon-related. This makes you want to kill. Lets put it this way. A famous Queen fan=all round rice guy and sought-after DJ Bob Harris. A famous John Lennon fan=Charlie Manson. I rest my case.

9) Number Nine
Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9.

10) Britpop
His fault.



That was 10 reasons to hate John Lennon. Join us next time when we explore the faults of Sharon Osbourne (that one might be "To be continued...").

I agree with every single bit of this.

I hate pretentious musicians.

Dave's Bitch
05-26-2006, 07:38 AM
i also hate john lennon....although i know a guy who looks like him,he is cool :)

binnie
05-26-2006, 12:29 PM
I don't HATE Lennon, I hate the ideal he has become, this semi-Christlike demi God!

Yes he was pretentious, but like Cobain, the press and the fans idealize him so much he is reinvented as something he never was.

But it certainly needed to be said SP

Well done Sir

Shaun Ponsonby
05-27-2006, 05:05 PM
Its funny, he is considered a musical genius, but the only solo track most people can mention of his is "Imagine", whereas most people can name a number of Wings tracks.

sadaist
05-27-2006, 05:18 PM
Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby
[B][U] Why don't you just stop lying, and dissing the diamond one and realise he is better than you.


Is this the Roth Army, or the I can't get over Sammy Hagar Army? The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. So quit showing how much you care about this guy and move on.

Shaun Ponsonby
05-27-2006, 05:33 PM
Hey, this is a thread about the people I hate. Do you want to be in there?

sadaist
05-27-2006, 06:56 PM
Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby
Hey, this is a thread about the people I hate. Do you want to be in there?

Sure. Hating me takes more effort than ignoring me. So if you care that much, why not.

bueno bob
05-28-2006, 05:12 AM
Originally posted by sadaist
Sure. Hating me takes more effort than ignoring me. So if you care that much, why not.

Careful what you ask for...

Heheheh...

sadaist
05-28-2006, 08:55 AM
Originally posted by bueno bob
Careful what you ask for...

Heheheh...

LOL. That's why I don't put pictures of myself online. Piss someone off who knows how to photoshop and BOOM, theres a picture of me floating around with 4 dicks in my mouth.

Shaun Ponsonby
05-28-2006, 02:58 PM
I'm not one to revert to cheap altered photographs and posters.

binnie
05-28-2006, 03:00 PM
There are few things funnie than an altered photo....




Maybe a weasil in the bed?

Shaun Ponsonby
05-28-2006, 03:01 PM
Thats weasel

binnie
05-28-2006, 03:03 PM
Tomado...




Tomato

bueno bob
05-29-2006, 08:58 AM
Originally posted by binnie
There are few things funnie than an altered photo....




Maybe a weasil in the bed?

I'm more into horse heads, personally...

Now let me make you an offer...

Shaun Ponsonby
05-29-2006, 09:51 AM
Oooh, listen up, binnie. This might be interesting...

binnie
05-29-2006, 09:53 AM
Hey BB might actually be The Godfather for all I know!

bueno bob
06-01-2006, 03:52 AM
Originally posted by binnie
Hey BB might actually be The Godfather for all I know!

The offer has to do with Bill Lumbergh's feet...

binnie
06-01-2006, 03:54 AM
LOL!

Shaun Ponsonby
06-02-2006, 09:33 AM
I just threw up in my mouth.

Dave's Bitch
06-02-2006, 12:46 PM
Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby
I just threw up in my mouth.

Dirty little boy

Shaun Ponsonby
06-03-2006, 10:32 AM
Indeed...

Shaun Ponsonby
06-03-2006, 10:38 AM
10 Reasons to hate...Sharon Osbourne


1) She egged Iron Maiden
Of all the bands in the world she could have egged, she picks one that has such a loyal fanbase. And the reasons she gave? "Bruce Dickinson was being very disrespectful to Americans". How? By waving a British flag during "The Trooper"? Hmmm, he seems to have been doing that since the 1980s, and nobody's egged them before. Let's face it, it was because they were upstaging your washed-up husband.

2) She ruined Ozzy's Career
I used to be a huge Ozzy fan. I've got just about everything he's ever done. But, now, because of The Osbournes (Sharon's idea), I can't listen to him without thinking of cats and dogs pissing and shitting on the carpet, and Ozzy shuffling along to clean it up.

3) Hypocrite
Have you ever seen her on "X-FACTOR" saying "I didn't sign up to do this." Yea, well, Iron Maiden didn't sign up to get pelted with eggs, things change, bitch, deal with it. Another thing, she always moans at people to be themselves, "its just not you, be yourself, not somebody else". Oh, come on, Sharon, wake up and smell the plastic surgery.

4) Repetitive
How often does she throw water at Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh?

5) Slut
She had an affair with Ozzy's late guitarist, Randy Rhoads. Bitch.

6) Plastic Surgery
Why would you spend loads on plastic surgery so that you can look like that? For fook's sake. I thought Michael Jackson looked bad. She's looks worse. Makes me feel sick. She looks like Pete Burns.

7) Her Untalented, Ugly, Big Mouthed, Sickening, Drugged Up and all around bastard Kids
Don't you hate Kelly and Jack? Why are they always on TV? Just take them back to rehab and leave them there.

8) Black Sabbath
The reason Black Sabbath haven't made a new album with Ozzy (which will be their first since 1978) is because Sharon doesn't want Ozzy to split profits equally, and instead wants him to make another godawful solo album (he hasn't been good since 1992) with hired musicians, who will only have to be paid a small amount. How much fucking money do you need?

9) Her dogs
Why does she take her dogs everywhere? Its stupid. OK, we know you have dogs, stop showing us them.

10) Total Bitch
I saw her on "X-Factor: Battle of the Stars" being a total bitch to Rebecca Loos and that posh twat. Now, OK, I'm not exactly fan of those 2 myself, but, it was just unnecesarry to be like that on a CHARITY SHOW. Bitch.


That was 10 reasons to hate Sharon Osbourne, join us next time, when we will be telling you why you should hate Kurt Cobain.

binnie
06-03-2006, 12:24 PM
Hell yeah!

i'd still fuck her tho'


Cobain is definately on the list.

how about Bon Jovi after him SP?

This is turning into quite a thread.

bueno bob
06-04-2006, 07:25 AM
8) Black Sabbath
The reason Black Sabbath haven't made a new album with Ozzy (which will be their first since 1978) is because Sharon doesn't want Ozzy to split profits equally, and instead wants him to make another godawful solo album (he hasn't been good since 1992) with hired musicians, who will only have to be paid a small amount. How much fucking money do you need?


.....that alone is enough...

Although with Ozzy "Protools" Osbourne's vocals these days, I'm almost glad it hasn't happened...

binnie
06-04-2006, 10:46 AM
Originally posted by bueno bob
8) Black Sabbath
The reason Black Sabbath haven't made a new album with Ozzy (which will be their first since 1978) is because Sharon doesn't want Ozzy to split profits equally, and instead wants him to make another godawful solo album (he hasn't been good since 1992) with hired musicians, who will only have to be paid a small amount. How much fucking money do you need?


.....that alone is enough...


Yep, I think it would be a stinker.
Although with Ozzy "Protools" Osbourne's vocals these days, I'm almost glad it hasn't happened...

Shaun Ponsonby
06-04-2006, 03:36 PM
Originally posted by binnie
Hell yeah!

i'd still fuck her tho'


Cobain is definately on the list.

how about Bon Jovi after him SP?

This is turning into quite a thread.

1) Thats very brave, considering she could fall to pieces at any minute
2) Yes, he is
3) Coincidentally, that was my plan all long
4) Yes, it should be stickied.

Dave's Bitch
06-04-2006, 03:51 PM
Dont let unchainme see you bashing cobain...

binnie
06-04-2006, 04:10 PM
Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby
1) Thats very brave, considering she could fall to pieces at any minute
2) Yes, he is
3) Coincidentally, that was my plan all long
4) Yes, it should be stickied.

hows it goin' SP?

hope all is well?

Shaun Ponsonby
06-04-2006, 04:16 PM
Originally posted by Dave's Bitch
Dont let unchainme see you bashing cobain...

Luckily, I hit him with a sausage-he wont be giving any trouble

Shaun Ponsonby
06-04-2006, 04:17 PM
Originally posted by binnie
hows it goin' SP?

hope all is well?

It is going well, I recently found out that one of my exams have been leaked, so I'm currently lookig for it on the interweb.

binnie
06-04-2006, 04:18 PM
LOL!

Good luck with that..........

Dave's Bitch
06-04-2006, 04:34 PM
THE YOUNG BLOODS SHALL RISE AGAIN

Shaun Ponsonby
06-04-2006, 04:49 PM
YES, WE SHALL.

ITS GOING TO BE HUGE

Dave's Bitch
06-04-2006, 04:57 PM
Spread the word around,guess who's back in town

Thorman
06-04-2006, 05:47 PM
Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby
TRUE DAT.

Wow..True dat..Does that date back to the 70's like your name. Is your mom Alice or June?

BAM

Padre Atilio
06-04-2006, 06:02 PM
of course is Lennon too idealized, like a symbol of peace ... naaah
and his also O V E R R A T E D !

Wawazat
06-05-2006, 04:37 AM
Originally posted by Thorman
Wow..True dat.. I had too much mushrooms during the 70's. Is my name Alice or June?

BAM

flappo
06-05-2006, 06:01 AM
more like 10 million

11. he's alive

Shaun Ponsonby
06-05-2006, 07:55 AM
Originally posted by Thorman
Wow..True dat..Does that date back to the 70's like your name. Is your mom Alice or June?

BAM

Wow, Thorman's back for some Shaun Love.

There's an old saying-you scratch my back, you look like a fag.

But, you don't need to scratch a back to look like a fag.

binnie
06-05-2006, 08:05 AM
Ouch.......

Shaun Ponsonby
05-16-2007, 09:48 AM
Bumpity-Boo


10 Reasons to Hate...Kurt Cobain

1) Grunge
Grunge reminds me of punk. Never liked either of them particularly. Both were fads that came and went faster than Jesse Owens with a wasp in his shorts, whilst the bands they supposedly kicked to the curb struggled for a few years, but most came back soon after. Was grunge's ridiculously large, yet brief, mainstream attraction one of the factors that ruined David Lee Roth's career? Yes.

2) Nirvana
I am so FUCKING sick of people worshipping Nirvana like they changed the world. They didn't INVENT grunge, they were just promoted to be big. There were much better grunge bands than Nirvana. I can prove it, I smelt them.

3) Courtney Love
I questions somebody's sexuality when they so much as talk with Courtney Love. She's just...butch. I've honestly always thought that she should be a lesbian (a real one, not the ones that show up in pron). Maybe that was it...she was a lesbian, he was a homosexual...they needed a greencard or something, I dunno.

4) Charisma
People are always telling me that Cobain was "so charasmatic, what a great frontman"...I'll comment on this when I see that evidance. The footage I've seen, he's struck me as dull.

5) It's Not Cos They're GRATE, its Because They're Dead
Self-explanitary. If he was still alive, would he be so revered? Hell, no. You'd have forgotten about him. "What was that band called who smelt like spirits?"

6) "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (1)
Try smelling some deodrant. Or at least shower. You always look so filthy and unhygenic.

7) "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (2)
The songs sucks too. People, like my sister, think they like rock music because she knows the words to songs like "Smells Like Shite".

8) Overrated
See "10 Reasons To Hate...John Lennon" (for quickness, I said "Overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated Overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated Overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated Overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated Overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated Overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated Overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated Overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated"...or something along those lines anyways).


9) Miserable Bastard
Cheer up, you miserable TWAT. Its not all doom and gloom. Look, the suns out. You've got loads of money. Here's an ice cream van. Courtneys gone out, so you don't have to put up with her. Put the fucking gun down, you IDIOT, you'll hurt yourself. Fine...don't say I didn't warn you. What did you say? Oh, you want to be remembered, and you think this is the only way that will happen. OK, fair enough...

10) CUNTroversy Over Death
Who gives a shit? He's dead, you should be thankful.

Next time, we meet Jon Bon Jovi.

binnie
05-16-2007, 10:24 AM
Lookin forward to Bon Jovi!!

So glad this thread is back, it's what the British do best: grumpy complaining.

Agree on most of your points regarding Cobain, but I have to say that I am a huge fan of grunge (and a minor punk fan): check out Soundgarden, early Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains if you want to here great music.

But no, he didn't invent grunge, nor did he claim to: seems what you are "hating" is the hype around him rather than the man himself, seems to me he shirked a way from fame and whinged about it, which to me is just another reason to hate him: if you didn't want to sell records, then why sign to Geffen dumbass? "Oh no, I'm doing what I want with my life, I'll never have to work again and I'm selling tons of records". Boo-fuckin-hoo.

Anyway, back to grunge: what he did was to take things that had been going on in the undergound for ten years (see Sonic Youth, Mudhoney and a lot of early 80s hardcore bands) and weld it with big fuck-off pop hooks. That was his "genius": making a more extreme form of music accessible.

He was very talented young man, with an unusal voice and a talent that was only reaching fruition on "In Utero" (easily their best record): he was not the a revolutionary, a poet or any other bollocks.

The hype made him something he never wanted to be as I see it.

Shaun Ponsonby
05-16-2007, 10:44 AM
Originally posted by binnie
Lookin forward to Bon Jovi!!

So glad this thread is back, it's what the British do best: grumpy complaining.

Agree on most of your points regarding Cobain, but I have to say that I am a huge fan of grunge (and a minor punk fan): check out Soundgarden, early Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains if you want to here great music.

But no, he didn't invent grunge, nor did he claim to: seems what you are "hating" is the hype around him rather than the man himself, seems to me he shirked a way from fame and whinged about it, which to me is just another reason to hate him: if you didn't want to sell records, then why sign to Geffen dumbass? "Oh no, I'm doing what I want with my life, I'll never have to work again and I'm selling tons of records". Boo-fuckin-hoo.

Anyway, back to grunge: what he did was to take things that had been going on in the undergound for ten years (see Sonic Youth, Mudhoney and a lot of early 80s hardcore bands) and weld it with big fuck-off pop hooks. That was his "genius": making a more extreme form of music accessible.

He was very talented young man, with an unusal voice and a talent that was only reaching fruition on "In Utero" (easily their best record): he was not the a revolutionary, a poet or any other bollocks.

The hype made him something he never wanted to be as I see it.


What do the British do better than grumpy cuntplaining?

Grumpy cuntplaining without knowing the facts.

Hype is part of the reason for me hating him (or, indeed, anybody; look at the Lennon one). I never actually said he claimed to invent grunge...but people talk aboot him like he did.

When I say I've never particularly liked grunge, I mean I've never been able tolisten to a full grunge album without skipping tracks.

Although, I am partial to Stone Temple Pilots on occasion.

I am not really cuntplaining aboot them selling records either...yes, thats why people release records. I'm talking aboot sheep buying the stuff because its fashionable to buy it. Do you think half the people who bought "Nevermind" have bought other grunge albums?

If that was the case a lot more grunge albums would have sold a helluva lot more than it actually did.

binnie
05-16-2007, 10:46 AM
Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby


Hype is part of the reason for me hating him (or, indeed, anybody; look at the Lennon one). I never actually said he claimed to invent grunge...but people talk aboot him like he did.



No disagreements from me on those counts.

This is a really cool thread Shaun...