Have any of y'all ever seen a kingsnake?
Welp, one of those just decided to chill in the living room. They're non-venomous, and usually flipthefuckout after heavy thunderstorms.
So, during the recent inclement weather, the front fucking door was left open for awhile. This was to afford a bunch of dipshit cats the chance to avoid the LOW PRESSURE annoyance.
It's all good...but you have to remember to CLOSE a motherfucking front door. I mean, anyone or anything could just make themselve's at home with that kind of open door policy.
*I had nothing to do with it*
After hearing a few LOUD NOISES in the afforementioned room, I went to investigate @ the EXACT time a scream happened!
AIYEYYYYYY!!! SNAKE!!! WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I walk into the living room, and there's a kingsnake sitting in front of the TV, with the dipshit cats looking @ it. I go, "it's a kingsnake, did you leave a window open?"
I'M GONNA GET THE GUN!!!
I go, "it'll just fuck your shoulder up...take it easy." Then I calmly walk over and pick the motherfucker up about a fist-width behind the head (it's in the manual).
Let me tell you, it was fucking beautiful the way that snake relaxed, wrapped around my arm, and probably thanked GOD it was being removed from a room-full of DIPSHITS.
Don't applaud, throw money.
Welp, one of those just decided to chill in the living room. They're non-venomous, and usually flipthefuckout after heavy thunderstorms.
So, during the recent inclement weather, the front fucking door was left open for awhile. This was to afford a bunch of dipshit cats the chance to avoid the LOW PRESSURE annoyance.
It's all good...but you have to remember to CLOSE a motherfucking front door. I mean, anyone or anything could just make themselve's at home with that kind of open door policy.
*I had nothing to do with it*
After hearing a few LOUD NOISES in the afforementioned room, I went to investigate @ the EXACT time a scream happened!
AIYEYYYYYY!!! SNAKE!!! WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I walk into the living room, and there's a kingsnake sitting in front of the TV, with the dipshit cats looking @ it. I go, "it's a kingsnake, did you leave a window open?"
I'M GONNA GET THE GUN!!!
I go, "it'll just fuck your shoulder up...take it easy." Then I calmly walk over and pick the motherfucker up about a fist-width behind the head (it's in the manual).
Let me tell you, it was fucking beautiful the way that snake relaxed, wrapped around my arm, and probably thanked GOD it was being removed from a room-full of DIPSHITS.
Don't applaud, throw money.
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