50 Things men will hear when we die and go to heaven

[distortion9]

1. Does this dress make my waist look too small?

2. Stop trying to pay! What’s the point of making lots of money if I can’t spend most of it on you?

3. I’m so lucky. I love going to work and knowing you’ll be in the bedroom for me when I get home.

4. I’m not very talkative tonight. Can I just lounge here with you while you read your book, and maybe we could fool around, when you get to the end?

5. For your office Christmas party, should I go for sexy/elegant, like Michelle Pfeiffer, or sexy/slutty, like Pam Anderson?

6. That thong really flatters your figure! Would you mind keeping my husband here company while I go for a swim?

7. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

8. Who’s got the better technique for me to copy, C.J. Laing or Debi Diamond?

9. On our honeymoon, let’s go on a bear hunt in Alaska!

10. That $60,000 bonus I just got for selling so many houses last year, where do you think we’ll get the best return? Stocks, rental property, or that rehab project I was looking at?

11. I know it's a lot tighter back there, but would you please try again?

12. Merry Christmas, honey! I hope it's the right caliber.

13. Check or charge? Sorry, I only pay with cash.

14. I hope you don’t mind--I bought some 20 oz. ribeyes for dinner again.

15. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

16. I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!

17. Let's leave the toilet seat "up" at all times. Then you won't have to mess with it anymore.

18. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?

19. That idiot Stacy told me what she spent last year on clothes! More than that rental duplex I bought!

20. The new girl in my office is a real knockout, and a stripper, too. I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

21. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

22. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal, they'll still cover.

23. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass!

24. My mother is taking care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

25. Honey! Our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

26. He talks our relationship to death! It's making me crazy!

27. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

28. Your mother did a great job raising you.

29. I'd much rather stay in and have sex with you than go shopping.

30. I'll be out painting the house.

31. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

32. I love it when you ride your Harley, I just wish you had more time to ride.

33. This scene is boring. Fast forward to the gang bang.

34. No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

35. If you stop giving me sex, I’m divorcing you, no matter how much the court says I have to pay.

36. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

37. Is this skirt short enough?

38. I make more than enough money for both of us. Why don't you retire and get that handicap down to 4 or 5?

39. I signed up for yoga today so that I'll be able to get my ankles behind my head for you.

40. You need your sleep, you big silly! Now stop getting up for the night feedings.

41. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?

42. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm going to go over and talk to her.

43. Not the shopping mall again! Come on, let's go to that new strip joint!

44. Is that phone for me? Tell 'em I'm not here.

45. I know I'm sore and my parents are in the other room, I still want you right now!

46. I don't care if it is on sale, $200 is still way too much for a dress, and no, I won’t let you help pay for it.

47. That was fun! When can your friends come over to watch pornos again?

48. Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my blouse.

49. It's only the third quarter, order a couple more pitchers.

50. It would be sexy to watch you with our babysitter Tracy. She turned eighteen last week.

[Sarge's Little Helper]

1. Does this dress make my waist look too small?

2. Stop trying to pay! What’s the point of making lots of money if I can’t spend most of it on you?

3. I’m so lucky. I love going to work and knowing you’ll be in the bedroom for me when I get home.

4. I’m not very talkative tonight. Can I just lounge here with you while you read your book, and maybe we could fool around, when you get to the end?

5. For your office Christmas party, should I go for sexy/elegant, like Michelle Pfeiffer, or sexy/slutty, like Pam Anderson?

6. That thong really flatters your figure! Would you mind keeping my husband here company while I go for a swim?

7. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

8. Who’s got the better technique for me to copy, C.J. Laing or Debi Diamond?

9. On our honeymoon, let’s go on a bear hunt in Alaska!

10. That $60,000 bonus I just got for selling so many houses last year, where do you think we’ll get the best return? Stocks, rental property, or that rehab project I was looking at?

11. I know it's a lot tighter back there, but would you please try again?

12. Merry Christmas, honey! I hope it's the right caliber.

13. Check or charge? Sorry, I only pay with cash.

14. I hope you don’t mind--I bought some 20 oz. ribeyes for dinner again.

15. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

16. I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!

17. Let's leave the toilet seat "up" at all times. Then you won't have to mess with it anymore.

18. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?

19. That idiot Stacy told me what she spent last year on clothes! More than that rental duplex I bought!

20. The new girl in my office is a real knockout, and a stripper, too. I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

21. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

22. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal, they'll still cover.

23. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass!

24. My mother is taking care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

25. Honey! Our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

26. He talks our relationship to death! It's making me crazy!

27. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

28. Your mother did a great job raising you.

29. I'd much rather stay in and have sex with you than go shopping.

30. I'll be out painting the house.

31. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

32. I love it when you ride your Harley, I just wish you had more time to ride.

33. This scene is boring. Fast forward to the gang bang.

34. No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

35. If you stop giving me sex, I’m divorcing you, no matter how much the court says I have to pay.

36. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

37. Is this skirt short enough?

38. I make more than enough money for both of us. Why don't you retire and get that handicap down to 4 or 5?

39. I signed up for yoga today so that I'll be able to get my ankles behind my head for you.

40. You need your sleep, you big silly! Now stop getting up for the night feedings.

41. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?

42. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm going to go over and talk to her.

43. Not the shopping mall again! Come on, let's go to that new strip joint!

44. Is that phone for me? Tell 'em I'm not here.

45. I know I'm sore and my parents are in the other room, I still want you right now!

46. I don't care if it is on sale, $200 is still way too much for a dress, and no, I won’t let you help pay for it.

47. That was fun! When can your friends come over to watch pornos again?

48. Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my blouse.

49. It's only the third quarter, order a couple more pitchers.

50. It would be sexy to watch you with our babysitter Tracy. She turned eighteen last week.

Oops. I wasn't paying attention. Tell me again what is going on.

[distortion9]

Wha hapin?!

[Mr. Vengeance]

51. Welcome to Heaven. Howard Stern is on 24 hours a day. Opie and Fagthony can be viewed on the Fagcam, doing their useless ripoff show from the bowels of hell, as they get sodomized by gay porn stars.

[distortion9]

Originally posted by Mr. Vengeance
51. Welcome to Heaven. Howard Stern is on 24 hours a day. Opie and Fagthony can be viewed on the Fagcam, doing their useless ripoff show from the bowels of hell, as they get sodomized by gay porn stars.

Hysterical...you should apply as a writer for the Stern Show. He could use a scary talent like you.

[FORD]

Originally posted by Mr. Vengeance
51. Welcome to Heaven. Howard Stern is on 24 hours a day. Opie and Fagthony can be viewed on the Fagcam, doing their useless ripoff show from the bowels of hell, as they get sodomized by gay porn stars.

But wouldn't they enjoy being sodomized by gay porn stars?

Hell is supposed to be a place of torment.

Or is it the porn stars who are being tormented? ;)

[Mr. Vengeance]

Good point, Ford.

And fuck you distortion....I know we can't all be as super funny as your faggot heros were on Letterman. What a joke. All they did was talk about Howard. And NO I didn't tune in....Like most real radio fans, we were subjected to it online afterwards. Too bad that the only reason they were on is because CBS demanded it. And you do know that Letterman's people actually called Howard to ask him if he'd stop coming on with Dave if he had the two aids victims on, don't you???

Such scary talent they showed.......By the way, scary talent is a Howard term, yet another thing the pests try to steal. HAHAHAHAHA! Fags.

[Ally_Kat]

Originally posted by Mr. Vengeance
51. Welcome to Heaven. Howard Stern is on 24 hours a day. Opie and Fagthony can be viewed on the Fagcam, doing their useless ripoff show from the bowels of hell, as they get sodomized by gay porn stars.

How the hell do you turn a thread that has nothing to do w/o&A or Stern into this huge fight?

Do you seriously wait for distortion to post to drag on this petty crap?

Don't do it in my forum again; and that's the last time I want to say that to you because I'm tired of you hijacking threads like this for that. There's a thread all about O&A and Stern a few pages back. Use that one if you need.

And remember -- neither show would give a shit about you, so stop stirring shit here because of them.

[Ally_Kat]

Originally posted by distortion9

44. Is that phone for me? Tell 'em I'm not here.


I say that all the time. And yet, people still call me to chew my ear off and ask me to solve their life's problems. It's annoying.

[FORD]

Originally posted by Ally_Kat


And remember -- neither show would give a shit about you, so stop stirring shit here because of them.

And besides, everybody knows that the Mike Malloy show is the #1 talk show in Heaven :cool:

[Mr. Vengeance]

Originally posted by Ally_Kat
How the hell do you turn a thread that has nothing to do w/o&A or Stern into this huge fight?

Do you seriously wait for distortion to post to drag on this petty crap?

Don't do it in my forum again; and that's the last time I want to say that to you because I'm tired of you hijacking threads like this for that. There's a thread all about O&A and Stern a few pages back. Use that one if you need.

And remember -- neither show would give a shit about you, so stop stirring shit here because of them.

Piss off. As long as he posts his Stern Sucks banner, I'll go after him.

I've "hyjacked" maybe three threads about this. So fuck off, Mod.....

[Mr. Vengeance]

And...this is a non-VH/DLR forum. Whatever we want to say is supposed to be fair game.

[Ally_Kat]

Originally posted by Mr. Vengeance
Piss off. As long as he posts his Stern Sucks banner, I'll go after him.

I've "hyjacked" maybe three threads about this. So fuck off, Mod.....

First off, it's hijacked.

Second off, no. You've made and turned many threads in here about this stupid fight. This stupid fight that you are carrying on for months now. I don't see anyone else bringing it up or carrying it on like you.

And, dumbass, he's not posting his Stern Sucks banner. It's in his signature, jackass. Hundreds of other posters have things they believe in in their signature. You have a problem with his signature take it up in PMs or talk to Pojo. Don't keep playing it out in my forum.

And if you continue, I'll tell and show Pojo.



Originally posted by Mr. Vengeance
And...this is a non-VH/DLR forum. Whatever we want to say is supposed to be fair game.

That doesn't mean you hijack a thread because you don't like the poster or his signature. People have been banned for continuing with that.

You want to continue to beat this topic to death, there's a new forum called DLR's State your Take (http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=30&forumid=7) and you can continue this there.

[Dr. Will]

At the end of the day,

don't piss off Ally. In the short time I've been back here I know a few things.

1. Without a doubt, she seems to be the best mod here, attacking her forum with the voracity of, well, just with voracity.

2. There aren't many on this site that can hand it the way she can.

3. I'm falling for her.

Yo Ally, when it's all said and done, you have one good Dr. in your corner.

Yo Vengeance,

don't mess with Chill Town.

[Dr. Will]

trust me

[Ally_Kat]

Originally posted by Dr. Will
At the end of the day,

don't piss off Ally. In the short time I've been back here I know a few things.

1. Without a doubt, she seems to be the best mod here, attacking her forum with the voracity of, well, just with voracity.

2. There aren't many on this site that can hand it the way she can.

3. I'm falling for her.

Yo Ally, when it's all said and done, you have one good Dr. in your corner.

Yo Vengeance,

don't mess with Chill Town.

Dr Will,

At the end of the day, peeps need to recognize that Ally has been the mod of Non for as long as she can remember. She should know by now what Non is for and what does and doesn't fly in Non. If she didn't, she would be trusted to mod it.

[Dr. Will]

I TRUST YOU!

at the end of the day,

that's all that matters in my book.

TRUST ME!

[twonabomber]

Originally posted by Dr. Will
In the short time I've been back here...

OK, you're back. did anyone notice you were gone?

[Soul Reaper]

Originally posted by Dr. Will
In the short time I've been back here I know a few things.

and when did you leave?

35 posts in 968 days....not the most active member....

[Coyote]

Originally posted by Ally_Kat
Dr Will,

At the end of the day, peeps need to recognize that Ally has been the mod of Non for as long as she can remember. She should know by now what Non is for and what does and doesn't fly in Non. If she didn't, she would be trusted to mod it.

Remember kiddies: It's Ally's house. We're only trying to gangsign on the walls.

(And I'm here as backup and eyecandy. :hitch: )

[Ally_Kat]

Originally posted by Coyote
Remember kiddies: It's Ally's house. We're only trying to gangsign on the walls.

(And I'm here as backup and eyecandy. :hitch: )

Coyote, you crazy mofo, we share this house. I refuse to take any gruff on how you run this house, either. We run a good ship and nothing is going to bring that down.

Now I feel like a group hug, but last time I suggested that, someone groped my butt.

[Coyote]

Originally posted by Ally_Kat
Coyote, you crazy mofo, we share this house. I refuse to take any gruff on how you run this house, either. We run a good ship and nothing is going to bring that down.

Levity, m'dear, levity...


Now I feel like a group hug, but last time I suggested that, someone groped my butt.

I could say it was me... But it wasn't. :hitch:

[Mr. Vengeance]

Whatever...I may have gone off a bit, but as I always say, talk to me condecendingly and treat me like a 5 year old, I'm likely to react like 5 five year old.

So sorry to have added some humour to things, in this very important thread. I'll remember that next time I start a thread and it evolved into Nirvana bitches fighting with people. I'll ignore distortion and his faggy banner if you wish.

[Dr. Will]

Originally posted by twonabomber
OK, you're back. did anyone notice you were gone?

When it's all said and done, I suppose I didn't really chalk up being remembered on a website as one of those things that meant a whole lot to me.

At the end of the day,

I think I'm okay with that.

To each their own bomber, to each their own.


Originally posted by Soul Reaper
and when did you leave?

35 posts in 968 days....not the most active member....

Thanks for noticing!

I appreciate absolutely all you do here!

And at the end of the day, I'm relatively certain everyone else around here does as well! I forgot that the Army was all about just these forums. If I remember correctly, and pardon me if I'm wrong, but I'm not, but this site was created back before the turn as something other than forums.

Trust me,

or don't.

Dear Ally,

I sure can't figure out how these threads get turned in other directions!

Don't worry, I'm just here for your support.

Of course, noone noticed I was gone, and I'm not an active member because I don't throw down 100 posts a day, but perhaps you can look past all that!

TRUST ME!

[Dan]

Originally posted by Dr. Will
When it's all said and done, I suppose I didn't really chalk up being remembered on a website as one of those things that meant a whole lot to me.

At the end of the day,

I think I'm okay with that.

To each their own bomber, to each their own.



Thanks for noticing!

I appreciate absolutely all you do here!

And at the end of the day, I'm relatively certain everyone else around here does as well! I forgot that the Army was all about just these forums. If I remember correctly, and pardon me if I'm wrong, but I'm not, but this site was created back before the turn as something other than forums.

Trust me,

or don't.

Dear Ally,

I sure can't figure out how these threads get turned in other directions!

Don't worry, I'm just here for your support.

Of course, noone noticed I was gone, and I'm not an active member because I don't throw down 100 posts a day, but perhaps you can look past all that!

TRUST ME!

Roth On Dr. Will

[binnie]

51. It's ok that you don't listen to me, I'm only in this realtionship for the sex anyway.

52. Cooking and cleaning for you fulfills my needs as a woman.

53. I love the taste of cum.

[Soul Reaper]

Originally posted by Dr. Will
Thanks for noticing!

I appreciate absolutely all you do here!



you joined before I did....that's why I don't know you....

no need to be sarcastic....

[binnie]

Actually, in heaven women won't be able to talk!

[distortion9]

Letterman brought up Stern.



Originally posted by Mr. Vengeance
By the way, scary talent is a Howard term


"Hoo hoo hoo, I invented the words scary talent...hoo hoo hoo."

TLD, is that you?

[Mr. Vengeance]

Originally posted by distortion9
Letterman brought up Stern.





Gee I wonder why? Ever heard of a pre-interview? The guest tells the producers what they want to talk about or they tell them a good story, which the producer gets Dave to ask about. Dave reads it off a card. Try getting into the game huh?

[Ally_Kat]

Originally posted by Mr. Vengeance
Gee I wonder why? Ever heard of a pre-interview? The guest tells the producers what they want to talk about or they tell them a good story, which the producer gets Dave to ask about. Dave reads it off a card. Try getting into the game huh?

For the record, with pre-interviews it's a "you want to talk about this, I want this in" back-and forth before the interview, with most times interviewers blind-siding the guests by sneaking in something they didn't agree to.

And again for the record, radio netowrks/companies instigate radio rivalries like this all the time. Why? Ratings. If you're a fan of radio host A and radio host B starts talkng shit, audience members are likely to go check out radio host B's show to see what he/she/it says and vice versa.

As per this interview, I cannot comment if I think this happened or not because I was not involved in the pre-interview process and I haven't seen the clip. But seeing how all three parties are connected thru CBS (despite Stern not currently being employed by them) and Dave being friends with Stern, I find it highly unlikely that Stern as a topic wouldn't be discussed.

[Dr. Will]

I joined here nor there,

I don't know anyone on this site.

It's no real scratch off my back either way.

At the end of the day,

I'm a David Lee Roth fan, that likes posting here and there I suppose. Mostly in this forum.

Why?

Ally Kat is established.

As far as Stern and Letterman, and pre-interviews,

who really cares? If you have a bug up your ass about Stern and Opie,

at the end of the day,

it won't pay you scratch! Take a stand on something that means something.

Ally, I like the ship you are running here!

You believe me don't you!

[Mr. Vengeance]

Originally posted by Ally_Kat
For the record, with pre-interviews it's a "you want to talk about this, I want this in" back-and forth before the interview, with most times interviewers blind-siding the guests by sneaking in something they didn't agree to.

And again for the record, radio netowrks/companies instigate radio rivalries like this all the time. Why? Ratings. If you're a fan of radio host A and radio host B starts talkng shit, audience members are likely to go check out radio host B's show to see what he/she/it says and vice versa.

As per this interview, I cannot comment if I think this happened or not because I was not involved in the pre-interview process and I haven't seen the clip. But seeing how all three parties are connected thru CBS (despite Stern not currently being employed by them) and Dave being friends with Stern, I find it highly unlikely that Stern as a topic wouldn't be discussed.

I know how it works. I work in tv/media. At this point only CBS has any vested interest in a feud between Howard and the Aids Victims. Sirius needs not worry about ratings. They are destroying XM in the sat market, and soon will surpass them in subs.

La deee da......

[Dr. Will]

At the end of the day,

Who gives a shit about Sirius, XM and/or Stern and Opie and Anthony.

Paying for radio, you gotta love it.

I work in TV/Radio/Media as well. If you think that gives anyone across the line knowledge of what goes on behind the scenes anywhere is simply delusional.

You crawl up the ladder, and quickly see the difference between success and failure, and the grey matter in between. If everyone were run the same way, and sought the same demographics in the same manner, then there wouldn't be 1 million different media avenues.

TRUST ME!

[Mr. Vengeance]

Will, seriously...lay off the glue.

[Ally_Kat]

Originally posted by Mr. Vengeance
I know how it works. I work in tv/media. At this point only CBS has any vested interest in a feud between Howard and the Aids Victims. Sirius needs not worry about ratings. They are destroying XM in the sat market, and soon will surpass them in subs.

La deee da......

Well, yeah, Vengeance. You basically restated my post - a publically-aired fued for the last -- how many years? -- being brought up recently on a show from CBS broadcssting having guests from Infinity/CBS broadcasting. It doesn't matter about Howard or Sirius or anything anyone wants to say or wave about ratings with any other company. The fact is Howard used to be an employee of CBS, O&A are employees of CBS, and Letterman is an employee of CBS. CBS has had their hand in this feud since the beginning. How else could a bomb threat to a major company go without any charges being pressed? CBS knew how to pull the strings with both shows to get them feuding.

[Ally_Kat]

Originally posted by Dr. Will

Ally, I like the ship you are running here!


Thanks. I try, altho I have a feeling a couple of people are going to try to test me.