What to do when you’re pulled over

[Matt White]

http://cdn.digitalcity.com/ch_autos/cops200co0130

As you coast to a stop on the shoulder of the roadway, you know that sick feeling -- you've been busted. And now, it's time to pay.

We thought it might be a good idea to share with you some advice on how to behave once you're pulled over. So, we asked a few state troopers for their list of do's and don'ts. Here's what we gathered:

Pull over as soon as possible.
As soon as you even think that you might be the one that the highway patrol car is after, pull over. This shows that you have proper respect for emergency vehicles' right of way, and doesn't necessarily mean to the officer that you're admitting guilt.

Always pull over to the right.
Always pull over on the right side of the roadway. On divided highways, signal and safely move over to the far right lane, and then to the shoulder. When you come to a complete stop, choose a section of roadway that has a full shoulder, without guardrails if possible. Pulling over on the left may obstruct traffic, and pulling over next to a guardrail may make it difficult for the officer to safely approach your car. Both are mistakes that won't win favor.


Know where your paperwork is.
Normally, when a police officer first pulls you over, he/she will ask for your license, registration, and insurance. If you're not well organized and keep the officer waiting while you dig through your possessions, the officer may be less likely to sympathize.

Make the officer feel safe.
Turn your dome light on at night. Always keep your hands in plain sight. Don't make any sudden movements. Roll your window down all the way. Stay in the car. Use common sense and don't put the officer in an uncomfortable situation.

Let the cop talk first.
Don't blurt out things that could incriminate you. Keep your calm, even if you're upset about being stopped. Don't volunteer information, like how fast you thought you were going. The officer may not be pulling you over for what you think he is. Let him talk to you first. React kindly and you may have more of a chance to be sent on your way without a ticket.

Don't argue with the cop.
Challenging the officer is a recipe for disaster, and likely means that you will be written up for the full offense and the officer will be less likely to opt for a compromise in court. So is asking to see the officer's radar-gun calibration records. If you are issued a ticket and wish to contest it, set a date in court.

I got my first speeding ticket last fall..after 21 years of driving....

Though...I can't complain...I always seemed to be able to talk my way out of 'em before!

[Nitro Express]

Ask my sister in law. She's a cure blonde who drives like it's the Indy 500 on the roads. She's one of those idiots who drives a minivan loaded with kids 90 MPH on bald and underinflated tires.

She can talk herself out of tickets like nobody I've ever seen. She's charming, good looking, and a master at using people (especially men).

The only time she ever got a ticket was when the cop was female and she wasn't buying the BS.

[Panamark]

I had a drag race with a cop in an unmarked car while I was
still on my probationary license. (I was about 18 at the time)
We hit about 120mph....

I thought it was some jerkoff who thought his car was faster
than mine..

Anyway, imagine my surprise when a fucking little flashing light
is suddenly blinking away...

So I pull over, my heart was fucking racing, almost panic attacking..
In Oz, 50mph(80)kmh) is the limit when you first get your license..
My job at the time needed a license, Im thinking well, this is it

IM FUCKED !!!

By the time the officer gets to my car, Im sweating bullets, shaking
freaking right out..

Then it hit me !!! (One of those moments of brilliance)

I looked at the cop and said, Thank god, Thank god, oh my lord
Thank god !

He sorta stopped in his tracks and goes, what ?? are you ok ???

I then said, I thought you were some maniac trying to run me
down, you have been chasing me for miles, I thought you were
trying to kill me !!!! :)

I swear, this dude ended up patting me on the back, telling me
to breathe deep, calm down, etc etc...

He then cautioned me about driving so fast, and let me go..

After he drove off, I fucking laughed my ass off !! :D

[distortion9]

This is how you should behave.



1.) When you are pulled over, remember, cops are not like normal people. Be sure to fidget a lot and talk to yourself while saying things like “conspiracy” and “oppression”.

2.) Always make sudden movements then yell out “JUST KIDDING!” at the last second. Cops love that crap.

3.) When the cop first walks up to your window, scream “I KNOW MY RIGHTS!”….it’s a real charming way to start a stop.

4.) For every question the cop asks be sure to reply “None of your bees wax” over and over again.

5.) Call the cop “Ociffer” then giggle to yourself.

6.) High-five yourself every time you hear the cop say the word “sir”.

7.) When the cop asks for your drivers license tell him you are a sovereign citizen and be sure to include something about being the last Mohican, cops get a reward for finding the last of a Native American lineage.

8.) When the cop tells you what you did wrong blurt out “I know you are but what am I?” out of context as absolutely often as possible.

9.) Make sure if you are carrying a concealed handgun that you say “Nice duty weapon” then giggle and say “I carry more firepower than that between my thighs”.

10.) If you are carrying a concealed weapon be sure and let the cop know by yelling “I’VE GOT A GUN!” as he approaches your vehicle.

11.) If it is a K-9 unit, try to stuff as much beef jerky as possible down the front of your pants.

12.) If it is a K-9 unit, make every attempt, even if you have to use force to do so, to pet the dog while explaining what a great animal person you are.

13.) If the cops try to pull you over, stop the car, get out and run as fast as you can to their window. They love the fact that you are so anxious to meet them.

14.) Before and up until the officer approaches the vehicle, make erratic and sudden movements. Reach under your seat, the passenger seat and throw loose papers and other items around. This lets the officer know that this will be an exciting stop and that you have something to hide. Because we all know you do.

15.) Refuse to turn the vehicle off. When the officer first approaches your side window, act completely startled and off-guard. This is the proper time to scream, cover your face and/or throw something else. Rev the motor, too; cops live for pursuits. It validates all their hard training.

16.) Under no circumstances do you roll your window down. You can and should also turn your stereo up to full volume. When they instruct you to roll the window down, lock the doors and act like you can't hear them, because you can't. Cops hate cooperation and compliance and doing the opposite will let them know that you take shit from no man, badge or not.

17.) Scream obscenities and threats to your imaginary children in the back seat while completely ignoring the officer. If there are real children in the back seat, this tactic will be even more effective. If the children are imaginary, pretend to yank one up front and beat them about the head and shoulders or stab them with a sharp object. Remember, all cops are child abusers, so this will make them relate to you.

18.) Turn the car off and immediately start it again. Do this repeatedly while looking at your watch, showing it to the officer and tapping the face of it. This lets them know that you're a busy person and have no time for pesky laws.

19.) If you are alone in the vehicle and the officer hasn't approached yet, climb into any seat but the driver's without leaving the car. When the officer approaches, act like you're asleep but rouse suddenly and violently when he knocks on the window. This should initially confuse the officer and also give them a good scare. Cops love scary, confusing movies.

20.) Immediately after being pulled over, jump out of the vehicle and start to run away at a full sprint. After 100 feet or so, stop running, turn around, give the officer a big smile and make fake guns with your index fingers. Often, a "Gotcha!" is just what the officer needed to brighten up his dull day.

[Jérôme Frenchise]

Originally posted by Panamark
I had a drag race with a cop in an unmarked car while I was
still on my probationary license. (I was about 18 at the time)
We hit about 120mph....

I thought it was some jerkoff who thought his car was faster
than mine..

Anyway, imagine my surprise when a fucking little flashing light
is suddenly blinking away...

So I pull over, my heart was fucking racing, almost panic attacking..
In Oz, 50mph(80)kmh) is the limit when you first get your license..
My job at the time needed a license, Im thinking well, this is it

IM FUCKED !!!

By the time the officer gets to my car, Im sweating bullets, shaking
freaking right out..

Then it hit me !!! (One of those moments of brilliance)

I looked at the cop and said, Thank god, Thank god, oh my lord
Thank god !

He sorta stopped in his tracks and goes, what ?? are you ok ???

I then said, I thought you were some maniac trying to run me
down, you have been chasing me for miles, I thought you were
trying to kill me !!!! :)

I swear, this dude ended up patting me on the back, telling me
to breathe deep, calm down, etc etc...

He then cautioned me about driving so fast, and let me go..

After he drove off, I fucking laughed my ass off !! :D

:D Now this is kickass, Panam'!
I had never heard about such a story. You might even be the only driver in the world who's ever come through this way... Fuckin' A! :D

[CBS]

I was pulled over on a sunny day in Galveston Texas. When asked to produce my drivers license I promptly complied by handing the officer what was in my back pocket first. Zig Zag Orange? I looked at him and started feeling a little uneasy. He asked me to put my hands on the back of the car, called for backup and searched my car for an hour. He didn't find anything. The dude had pulled me over for not wearing my seat belt so, he gave me a ticket but, What the fuck

[ThrillsNSpills]

Wow,
that was some quick thinking Panamark.

[Big Fat Sammy]

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