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View Full Version : Want to REALLY stick it to assholes that send you junk mail?



Hardrock69
10-03-2006, 12:26 AM
I mean SNAIL MAIL junk mail.....

Well, you may have seen instructions similar to this, but I GUARANTEE YOU you have not seen it taken to this extreme:

**********************************************


Step 1 - Take those annoying postage-paid envelopes that you get in the mail and stuff them full of any garbage you may have (other envelopes, dinner scraps, etc.). Whatever trash you can squeeze into the envelope will mean less trash you have to take out to the curb later in the week. Feel free to include any original forms that the spammer sent you that includes your name and address, so they can perhaps take you off their mailing lists.


Step 2 - Find an old box that can hold a considerable amount of junk (or weight). Make sure the junk you'll be mailing back can fit inside. Don't use your favorite box, as the recipient will probably not mail the items back to you...


Step 3 - You'll be mailing your postage-paid packages via the United States Postal Service (USPS). The USPS says that you can use a postage-paid envelope attached to any object or package (no dead animals, bombs, etc.) as long as it weighs no more than 72 lbs. Be sure to maximize the weight of your package, within limits, for the ultimate effect and cost to the spammer. Old tires are great objects to send since the garbage man usually won't take them!!! Shingles, tires, rocks, bricks, and basically any form of junk will work just fine. You can even tape the envelope to a large rock if you want.....it's all LEGAL.


Step 4 - Insert your junk object into the box. If there is any extra room, and you have not exceeded the 72 lb maximum, but sure to insert more junk. Check your kitchen trash can for old milk cartons or opened cans. Perhaps, even some large rocks from your driveway will fill the voids?


Step 5 - Neatly seal the box with packing tape. If you've stuffed your package with objects like shingles, which tend to shred into small pieces and fall out of the cracks, be sure you've sealed the entire box. Try to secure any loose objects that may cause the guy at the Post Office to get too suspicious. They'll already be very curious why you're mailing this type of package. If they try to give you a hard time, be sure to advise them that this is totally legal and you have the right to do so as long as you are within USPS guidelines. Any postage-paid envelope is legal.


Step 6 - If you just so happen to receive unsolicited mail from MCI, be sure to join my crusade to make them stop the junk mailings that clutter our mailboxes. Mail that postage-paid envelope back to them either attached to a 72 lb rock, or just by itself (stuffed with as many old torn envelopes as possible). Either way, it'll go back to the sender at their expense. You won't have to take out as much trash this week, and you'll feel good knowing you've perhaps given a signal to the spam mailers worldwide who clutter our mailboxes with their unwanted garbage. Hey, if you're mailing one back to MCI, be sure to tell them I sent you....and give them all my love.


Step 7 - Secure the postage-paid envelope to the box with packing tape. For some extra laughs, tell all your friends what you're planning to do. Email them this document so they can share in the fun.


Step 8 - Take one last look at the final package before you make your way to the post office. Laugh out loud and then tell more of your friends what you're about to do.


Step 9 - Take the package to any post office in the United States. Smile and hand the person at the desk your package. Tell them this is a postage-paid package and they'll haul it off to the backroom. From there, it'll be sent back to those mass-mailing idiots where they'll have to dispose of your garbage. Pat yourself on the back for doing your good deed for the day. Repeat process when required. Enjoy. If you mail the spammer enough times, they may take you off their mailing list. They may also call your local Post Office to ban you from any further postage-paid mailings to them if you include your name and address anywhere on or in the package, so if you enjoy this type of revenge, keep it anonymous. After I mailed MCI six packages (tires, shingles, rocks, etc.), they banned me from mailing postage-paid packages from my local post office, but I can still drive 1 mile to the next post office with no problems.

**********************************************

Ozzy Fudd
10-03-2006, 11:09 AM
smiles at Hardrock69 and says...( in his best auston powers movie voice) Dude this is evile Genius.:D

Little Texan
10-03-2006, 09:05 PM
The ones I REALLY want to stick it to are the electronic type of spammers! These assholes are the scum of the Earth! Do you have any methods of getting back at those cocksuckers?

twonabomber
10-03-2006, 09:10 PM
MCI? how old is that?

FORD
10-03-2006, 09:13 PM
Originally posted by Little Texan
The ones I REALLY want to stick it to are the electronic type of spammers! These assholes are the scum of the Earth! Do you have any methods of getting back at those cocksuckers?

Track their IP address and forward it to the Attorney General.

Also, get a new e mail client such as Thunderbird which is easy to set up spam filters, or get a seperate program like "Mailwasher"

Hardrock69
10-03-2006, 09:48 PM
Well of course the focus is on email spam these days, but goddammit I get too much fucking shit in my REAL LIFE mailbox all the time.

One of these days I am gonna do that.
:cool:

MERRYKISSMASS2U
10-04-2006, 05:42 AM
Just shit in a box and send it to em.

Little Texan
10-04-2006, 04:22 PM
Or put a few dead skunks in there, maybe a few dead fish, too.

FORD
10-04-2006, 05:30 PM
Originally posted by MERRYKISSMASS2U
Just shit in a box and send it to em.

Nah, that would be considered a biological hazard, and that would get you in deep shit (pardon the pun) with the Feds.

Terry
10-04-2006, 07:44 PM
Originally posted by Hardrock69
I mean SNAIL MAIL junk mail.....

Well, you may have seen instructions similar to this, but I GUARANTEE YOU you have not seen it taken to this extreme:

**********************************************


Step 1 - Take those annoying postage-paid envelopes that you get in the mail and stuff them full of any garbage you may have (other envelopes, dinner scraps, etc.). Whatever trash you can squeeze into the envelope will mean less trash you have to take out to the curb later in the week. Feel free to include any original forms that the spammer sent you that includes your name and address, so they can perhaps take you off their mailing lists.


Step 2 - Find an old box that can hold a considerable amount of junk (or weight). Make sure the junk you'll be mailing back can fit inside. Don't use your favorite box, as the recipient will probably not mail the items back to you...


Step 3 - You'll be mailing your postage-paid packages via the United States Postal Service (USPS). The USPS says that you can use a postage-paid envelope attached to any object or package (no dead animals, bombs, etc.) as long as it weighs no more than 72 lbs. Be sure to maximize the weight of your package, within limits, for the ultimate effect and cost to the spammer. Old tires are great objects to send since the garbage man usually won't take them!!! Shingles, tires, rocks, bricks, and basically any form of junk will work just fine. You can even tape the envelope to a large rock if you want.....it's all LEGAL.


Step 4 - Insert your junk object into the box. If there is any extra room, and you have not exceeded the 72 lb maximum, but sure to insert more junk. Check your kitchen trash can for old milk cartons or opened cans. Perhaps, even some large rocks from your driveway will fill the voids?


Step 5 - Neatly seal the box with packing tape. If you've stuffed your package with objects like shingles, which tend to shred into small pieces and fall out of the cracks, be sure you've sealed the entire box. Try to secure any loose objects that may cause the guy at the Post Office to get too suspicious. They'll already be very curious why you're mailing this type of package. If they try to give you a hard time, be sure to advise them that this is totally legal and you have the right to do so as long as you are within USPS guidelines. Any postage-paid envelope is legal.


Step 6 - If you just so happen to receive unsolicited mail from MCI, be sure to join my crusade to make them stop the junk mailings that clutter our mailboxes. Mail that postage-paid envelope back to them either attached to a 72 lb rock, or just by itself (stuffed with as many old torn envelopes as possible). Either way, it'll go back to the sender at their expense. You won't have to take out as much trash this week, and you'll feel good knowing you've perhaps given a signal to the spam mailers worldwide who clutter our mailboxes with their unwanted garbage. Hey, if you're mailing one back to MCI, be sure to tell them I sent you....and give them all my love.


Step 7 - Secure the postage-paid envelope to the box with packing tape. For some extra laughs, tell all your friends what you're planning to do. Email them this document so they can share in the fun.


Step 8 - Take one last look at the final package before you make your way to the post office. Laugh out loud and then tell more of your friends what you're about to do.


Step 9 - Take the package to any post office in the United States. Smile and hand the person at the desk your package. Tell them this is a postage-paid package and they'll haul it off to the backroom. From there, it'll be sent back to those mass-mailing idiots where they'll have to dispose of your garbage. Pat yourself on the back for doing your good deed for the day. Repeat process when required. Enjoy. If you mail the spammer enough times, they may take you off their mailing list. They may also call your local Post Office to ban you from any further postage-paid mailings to them if you include your name and address anywhere on or in the package, so if you enjoy this type of revenge, keep it anonymous. After I mailed MCI six packages (tires, shingles, rocks, etc.), they banned me from mailing postage-paid packages from my local post office, but I can still drive 1 mile to the next post office with no problems.

**********************************************


So I get the postage-paid envelope of junk mail in the snail mail, and I find an old box - and I can fill the box with junk - as long as the box weighs under 72lbs, I can, what, attach the envelope to the box-top, then mail it back to the sender?

Is that the upshot of what you're saying? And this is totally legal and won't cost me anything?

If so, it's on, bitches!

Hardrock69
10-04-2006, 10:32 PM
Yes.

You are correct.

MERRYKISSMASS2U
10-04-2006, 10:43 PM
Originally posted by FORD
Nah, that would be considered a biological hazard, and that would get you in deep shit (pardon the pun) with the Feds.

True, but who the hell wants to pay the money for 70 pounds worth of postage just for revenge?

FORD
10-05-2006, 12:03 AM
Originally posted by MERRYKISSMASS2U
True, but who the hell wants to pay the money for 70 pounds worth of postage just for revenge?

If the package was only going a couple states away, I'd consider sending a live snake.

Of course the box would have to be well sealed, but ventilated, so the snake could breathe. If you can throw a live mouse or something in so the snake can eat, that would help. The snake would only need to eat once, and he'd be cool for a few days.

That should cover the "animal cruelty" objections.

And a non-venomous snake, of course!! Again, you don't want to imply any death threats here, so no rattlers or vipers.

Little Texan
10-05-2006, 02:17 AM
Originally posted by MERRYKISSMASS2U
True, but who the hell wants to pay the money for 70 pounds worth of postage just for revenge?

You don't have to pay...the company you're sending the package to is paying the shipping charges! That's the point!

MERRYKISSMASS2U
10-05-2006, 06:25 AM
Originally posted by Little Texan
You don't have to pay...the company you're sending the package to is paying the shipping charges! That's the point!

<h1>WHAT‽</H1> <h1>HOW IN THE HELL‽‽‽</H1>

Hardrock69
10-05-2006, 09:55 AM
Look dude.

Check out some of the junk mail you get in your mail box.

Some of the time, a company will send you a bunch of stuff, and include an envelope that is stamped "postage paid".

Meaning the company that sent you the junk mail will pay for the postage for that envelope.

The USPS says that you can use a postage-paid envelope attached to any object or package as long as it weighs no more than 72 lbs.

So if the company sending you the junk mail is willing to pay for the postage, what the hell....send them something!

:cool:

MERRYKISSMASS2U
10-05-2006, 04:09 PM
Awesome! I must have missed something.

FORD
10-05-2006, 05:37 PM
72 pounds, you could technically send a python. But they're kinda expensive. And you would need a big box.

Hardrock69
10-06-2006, 02:32 AM
Hey, you wanna annoy them, not kill them!

:rolleyes:

But then I could be wrong....

:D

FORD
10-06-2006, 02:36 AM
Originally posted by Hardrock69
Hey, you wanna annoy them, not kill them!

:rolleyes:

But then I could be wrong....

:D

Pythons are perfectly harmless.... as long as you're too big for them to swallow, and you don't let them wrap themselves around your neck too tight.

Hardrock69
10-06-2006, 11:33 AM
Or have a heart attack when you open the box....
:D

MERRYKISSMASS2U
10-06-2006, 11:37 AM
LARGE MARGE SENT ME!

<img src="http://www.pumpkingutter.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=406&g2_serialNumber=2"></img>


That's what I always think of when someone mentions a heat attack.

Northern Girl
10-09-2006, 03:49 PM
Originally posted by Hardrock69
but goddammit I get too much fucking shit in my REAL LIFE mailbox all the time.

One of these days I am gonna do that.


Dear Mr. Hardcock,

You seem a trifle worked up about something so trivial. It will be OK, I promise. I think perhaps you need a full body massage to calm you down, and I'm just the girl to do it. I promise you won't be thinking about junk mail anymore. :p

Hugs,

NG :)

Hardrock69
10-09-2006, 04:08 PM
**sigh**

MMmmmmmm NG!!!

Thanks for the offer!

I could not possibly refuse!!!

;)

Little Texan
10-09-2006, 07:13 PM
Originally posted by Northern Girl
Dear Mr. Hardcock,

You seem a trifle worked up about something so trivial. It will be OK, I promise. I think perhaps you need a full body massage to calm you down, and I'm just the girl to do it. I promise you won't be thinking about junk mail anymore. :p

Hugs,

NG :)

I got something you can massage...

;)

Northern Girl
10-09-2006, 10:39 PM
Originally posted by Hardrock69
**sigh**

MMmmmmmm NG!!!

Thanks for the offer!

I could not possibly refuse!!!

;)


But, of course! ;)

Northern Girl
10-09-2006, 10:40 PM
Originally posted by Little Texan
I got something you can massage...

;)

Don't be crude! That won't get you anywhere with girls! :)

binnie
10-10-2006, 04:26 AM
Originally posted by MERRYKISSMASS2U
Just shit in a box and send it to em.

Excellent idea!

Last_Child
10-10-2006, 07:43 AM
Fuck Spammers.

On the news yesterday they said that Norways first spammer was arrested.

He was given a fine of 1500 NOK I think it was.

That should be 214 dollars.

svrwthr
11-24-2006, 07:37 PM
Don't send things that can be biologically hazardous to the people opening them. The people opening them just do as they are supposed to to make a living. You may wind up in jail. Garbage, pythons I would say are a no no that could eventually get you into trouble if caught.

Send things like old electronics and batteries (non liquid) instead. And definitely make it maximum weight.

why?
1) maybe the company will stop sending out junk mail.

2) sending as heavy as possible keeps the USPS going without having to force another increase to stamps. And, makes the company sending this crap out pay twice. First time is cheap for them, second time is expensive because of weight cost. I think the profit beggers can afford it.

3) sending them old electronics and batteries eliminates the cost to you to dispose of since you cannot dump electronics or batteries in the local dump (even though we still do). Make some corporation pay to dispose of these things instead.

Hardrock69
11-26-2006, 02:31 PM
A concrete Block and some sand will do nicely. No biological hazards, no animals that will jump out of the box and try to strangle you or cause a heart attack.

Man....Northern Girl wants to give me a massage!

WOOHOO!!!!
:D

VanHalener
11-27-2006, 10:42 PM
Kudos Hardrock69

I happen to have two postage paid envelopes. Thanks for the great idea.
I'm going to have fun with this one.

smaz
11-28-2006, 01:02 PM
I'll look into the UK laws regarding this.... :D

Golden AWe
11-28-2006, 06:29 PM
http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m264/goldenawe/flw35.jpg

RobTheCradle
11-29-2006, 09:31 AM
None of you dare try it.

Hardrock69
11-29-2006, 11:39 PM
Oh? Why?

Are you a member of PETCB?

People for the Ethical Treatment Of Concrete Blocks?