Dane Cook

[diamondsgirl]

Funny stand up from Dane Cook

He cracks me up :D

(and he's HOT!)

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[diamondsgirl]

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[diamondsgirl]

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[diamondsgirl]

Why women win fights....LMAO!!!

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[fe_lung]

Dane Cook could have been a good comedian but he's about ten years away from being ready to record albums or be on tv. He clearly loves comedy and has a rudimentary understanding of performing. However at present he lacks an individual voice.
Any drunken frat boy (or Val Kilmer for that matter - see the commentary on Kiss Kiss Bang Bang) can pass off Cooks bits as their own and nobody would be the wiser. Compare that to any of the other "new" comics who have emerged over the last few years and you can see the difference. If one tries to pass off an Attell bit everyone knows you stole it - even if they don't know who you stole it from. Same with Eddie Izzard, David Cross, Lewis Black, Patton Oswalt, etc. They all have something that is unique to them - a worldview, a language, a rhythm, whatever. Hell, even the cable guy has a unique voice. Cook hasn't found that yet. I belive that, if he had another decade to sweat it out in clubs, he'd find it and he'd become a great comedian. However - since he's already had so much exposure, that will never happen.

The other thing that irks me about Cook is that he's so ham-handed with his routines. Most of his bits have a clever premise at their heart - about a second and a half of good material. However, each one of those seeds is padded with 3 or 4 minutes of lame exposition. Again, a decade or so in the trenches would probably help him hone his material to a solid act. Once again, that won't ever happen.

[diamondsgirl]

Another decade or so? He's been doing stand up for 16 years.

He recently sold out Madison Square Garden. The cheapest seats were $100.

Sorry, but, I think he's already considered a great comedian.

[Dr. Love]

The guy isn't that funny to me... to each their own.

[Dan]

I watched the First 23 minutes of the first show and Thought this guy is Fucking Funny.

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Originally posted by Dr. Love
The guy isn't that funny to me... to each their own.

completely agree.

[sadaist]

Originally posted by fe_lung
Dane Cook could have been a good comedian but he's about ten years away from being ready to record albums or be on tv. He clearly loves comedy and has a rudimentary understanding of performing. However at present he lacks an individual voice.
Any drunken frat boy (or Val Kilmer for that matter - see the commentary on Kiss Kiss Bang Bang) can pass off Cooks bits as their own and nobody would be the wiser. Compare that to any of the other "new" comics who have emerged over the last few years and you can see the difference. If one tries to pass off an Attell bit everyone knows you stole it - even if they don't know who you stole it from. Same with Eddie Izzard, David Cross, Lewis Black, Patton Oswalt, etc. They all have something that is unique to them - a worldview, a language, a rhythm, whatever. Hell, even the cable guy has a unique voice. Cook hasn't found that yet. I belive that, if he had another decade to sweat it out in clubs, he'd find it and he'd become a great comedian. However - since he's already had so much exposure, that will never happen.

The other thing that irks me about Cook is that he's so ham-handed with his routines. Most of his bits have a clever premise at their heart - about a second and a half of good material. However, each one of those seeds is padded with 3 or 4 minutes of lame exposition. Again, a decade or so in the trenches would probably help him hone his material to a solid act. Once again, that won't ever happen.


Another 10 years wouldn't do anything. His style is set. Although I agree with everything else you said. He's funny, but not anymore than your drunk buddy on a Friday night at a pool hall. He's lucky he looks like Ryan Reynolds.

[Susie Q]

My kid loves this guy and constantly laughs his ass off. I found him funny too. I wouldn't put him on my America's Top Ten, but he's alright.

[fe_lung]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
Another decade or so? He's been doing stand up for 16 years.

He recently sold out Madison Square Garden. The cheapest seats were $100.

Sorry, but, I think he's already considered a great comedian.

Just because he sold out MSG does not mean he's a quality comedian. His act is still substandard. It's 30 seconds of humor balooned out to 90 minutes. He needs to go back to comedy school.

[ALMOSTsaved]

Dane Cook is synonymous with "NOT FUNNY." All Cook does for me is make me want to watch Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy "Delirious" to remember what true comedic talent is.

[MAPRamone]

Originally posted by MERRYKISSMASS2U
completely agree.

Yep he just doesn't have it. His stuff shows promise but none of it made me fucking LAUGH!!!

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Originally posted by ALMOSTsaved
Dane Cook is synonymous with "NOT FUNNY." All Cook does for me is make me want to watch Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy "Delirious" to remember what true comedic talent is.

Eddie Murphy is absolutely insane! What is that one where he has a purple suit on and he's making fun of people fucking in relationships?


Hilarious.



Originally posted by MAPRamone
Yep he just doesn't have it. His stuff shows promise but none of it made me fucking LAUGH!!!

Lucky dude. He's able to make money as a no-talent-ass-clown.

[Coyote]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
Funny stand up from Dane Cook

He cracks me up :D

(and he's HOT!)



To each their own...

I mainly prefer stand-up that's 90% verbal. (Dave Attell, Eddie Murphy, Nick DiPaolo, Pablo Fransisco and Denis Leary, for example.)

[ALMOSTsaved]

Originally posted by MERRYKISSMASS2U
[B]Eddie Murphy is absolutely insane! What is that one where he has a purple suit on and he's making fun of people fucking in relationships?


Hilarious.

I believe in "Delirious" (as seen below) he talks about how people don't really know how to fuck until they get a little older and know how to make the cool "fuck" faces. :D

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e44/almostsaved0770/Delirious.jpg

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Originally posted by ALMOSTsaved
I believe in "Delirious" (as seen below) he talks about how people don't really know how to fuck until they get a little older and know how to make the cool "fuck" faces. :D

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e44/almostsaved0770/Delirious.jpg

That one's good, but I'm talking about the one where you can lie to a woman for eternity after you make her go "oooooo" in the bed....

[Coyote]

That was "Raw".

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Thanks, downloading it now!

[ALMOSTsaved]

Originally posted by MERRYKISSMASS2U
That one's good, but I'm talking about the one where you can lie to a woman for eternity after you make her go "oooooo" in the bed....

Oh yes, that is actually on "RAW"...and I just found the transcript to that bit. Enjoy!

But once you makea woman come real hard, once you make a woman say: "ooooooooooooooooo" No matter how bad you fuck up, no matter what you do wrong, no matter what you say, no matter
what you do, as long as you say: "I'm sorry," she will listen to your story. And that's the truth. That's the God's honest truth.
It is the truth. Stop it. It's the truth. It is the truth. And, ladies, as soonas y'all make that noise, "oooooooo"your relationship will change with your man. Because we know.We wait on that noise. We waiting on it. Because we know we can act different as soon as you go: "oooooooooo" we know we can act the fool then. Remember when your man couldn't make it, he would call?
No more of that shit. He heard you go: "ooooooo."

Remember he wanted to spend all his free time with you? No more of that.

You made that noise. Your man can act crazy.

We know as soon as you go: "oooo"

Our face is in the pillow like this, "I got this motherfucker now, boy."

Then you start talking to her: "Whose pussy is this? Whose pussy is this?"

"Oh, it's your pussy! It's your pussy!"

And your relationship changes from that moment. The woman be sitting on the bed,legs shaking: "Oh, my God. Oh, I can't believe it. I never came like that before. I can't believe it."

And their man get real cold, saying shit like: "Why don't you shake your ass home."

"What are you talking about? Why are you treating me like this?" We have a relationship."

"You don't own me."

"What do you mean? We have a relationship. I thought that we go together."

"I don't see no rings on your finger."

"But I love you!"

"Well, what have you done for me lately?"

And y'all put up with it. Y'all start putting up with all kinds of crazy shit. I guess it's hard to find somebody that knows how to do it to you right, because when y'all find one, y'all stick through that man
through all kinds of bullshit. I know a man got busted coming
out of another woman's house.

Show you how far a woman will stoop. He got busted coming out
of another woman's house. His woman saw him come out, knew that the woman lived there and didn't say shit. Wait till they got home and said: "What the hell was you doing in that bitch's house?"

You know what the man said? "Wasn't me."

"I looked right in your face!"

"Wasn't me."

"Well, I'm supposed to be a fool, right?"

"Hey. Wasn't me."

You know what the woman said? "Maybe it wasn't you."

I got a friend got busted in his house, in his bed, where him and his wife sleep, with another woman, fucking! His wife walked inside the house, opened up the bedroom door, saw her man in her bed with another woman, fucking.

She walks in, the man jumped up, saw his woman standing there. She ran down the hallway. Chased his woman down the hallway butt naked
with a rock-hard dick, talking about, "I'm sorry."

This sound like a tragedy, right? No, it was like this:

"Baby, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Baby, look. Whoa, hold on. Wait, we got to talk. Baby, I am sorry."

"No, you're not sorry. I can't believe you did this. You have no respect for me. Get the fuck...Don't you fucking touch me."

"Wait, baby, I am sorry. Wait a second."

"No, if you're sorry, you wouldn't have fucked her!"

And then you change the shit around. Right, guys?

"OK, wait a minute! Wait one second, goddamn it! Yes, I fucked her, yes. Is that what you want me to say? I fucked her? I fucked her. We fucked, all right?You happy now? We fucked! Now, let's talk about the word 'fuck' for a minute. Because that's a very important
word here. Fuck, yes, we did. Fuck. I fucked her. I make love to you. And if you gonna let a fuck come between our love, there's something really wrong happening here, baby."

Fucking classic. Hope this long ass post doesn't piss off any moderators!

[Sarge's Little Helper]

Oh yes, that is actually on "RAW"...and I just found the transcript to that bit. Enjoy!

But once you makea woman come real hard, once you make a woman say: "ooooooooooooooooo" No matter how bad you fuck up, no matter what you do wrong, no matter what you say, no matter
what you do, as long as you say: "I'm sorry," she will listen to your story. And that's the truth. That's the God's honest truth.
It is the truth. Stop it. It's the truth. It is the truth. And, ladies, as soonas y'all make that noise, "oooooooo"your relationship will change with your man. Because we know.We wait on that noise. We waiting on it. Because we know we can act different as soon as you go: "oooooooooo" we know we can act the fool then. Remember when your man couldn't make it, he would call?
No more of that shit. He heard you go: "ooooooo."

Remember he wanted to spend all his free time with you? No more of that.

You made that noise. Your man can act crazy.

We know as soon as you go: "oooo"

Our face is in the pillow like this, "I got this motherfucker now, boy."

Then you start talking to her: "Whose pussy is this? Whose pussy is this?"

"Oh, it's your pussy! It's your pussy!"

And your relationship changes from that moment. The woman be sitting on the bed,legs shaking: "Oh, my God. Oh, I can't believe it. I never came like that before. I can't believe it."

And their man get real cold, saying shit like: "Why don't you shake your ass home."

"What are you talking about? Why are you treating me like this?" We have a relationship."

"You don't own me."

"What do you mean? We have a relationship. I thought that we go together."

"I don't see no rings on your finger."

"But I love you!"

"Well, what have you done for me lately?"

And y'all put up with it. Y'all start putting up with all kinds of crazy shit. I guess it's hard to find somebody that knows how to do it to you right, because when y'all find one, y'all stick through that man
through all kinds of bullshit. I know a man got busted coming
out of another woman's house.

Show you how far a woman will stoop. He got busted coming out
of another woman's house. His woman saw him come out, knew that the woman lived there and didn't say shit. Wait till they got home and said: "What the hell was you doing in that bitch's house?"

You know what the man said? "Wasn't me."

"I looked right in your face!"

"Wasn't me."

"Well, I'm supposed to be a fool, right?"

"Hey. Wasn't me."

You know what the woman said? "Maybe it wasn't you."

I got a friend got busted in his house, in his bed, where him and his wife sleep, with another woman, fucking! His wife walked inside the house, opened up the bedroom door, saw her man in her bed with another woman, fucking.

She walks in, the man jumped up, saw his woman standing there. She ran down the hallway. Chased his woman down the hallway butt naked
with a rock-hard dick, talking about, "I'm sorry."

This sound like a tragedy, right? No, it was like this:

"Baby, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Baby, look. Whoa, hold on. Wait, we got to talk. Baby, I am sorry."

"No, you're not sorry. I can't believe you did this. You have no respect for me. Get the fuck...Don't you fucking touch me."

"Wait, baby, I am sorry. Wait a second."

"No, if you're sorry, you wouldn't have fucked her!"

And then you change the shit around. Right, guys?

"OK, wait a minute! Wait one second, goddamn it! Yes, I fucked her, yes. Is that what you want me to say? I fucked her? I fucked her. We fucked, all right?You happy now? We fucked! Now, let's talk about the word 'fuck' for a minute. Because that's a very important
word here. Fuck, yes, we did. Fuck. I fucked her. I make love to you. And if you gonna let a fuck come between our love, there's something really wrong happening here, baby."

Fucking classic. Hope this long ass post doesn't piss off any moderators!

Oops. I wasn't paying attention. Tell me again what is going on.

[MERRYKISSMASS2U]

Genius.... I'm downloading the Raw dvd now (I just downloaded the audio to that and Delirious).

[Coyote]

Originally posted by ALMOSTsaved
Fucking classic. Hope this long ass post doesn't piss off any moderators!

You ain't pissing me off with that. Don't know 'bout Ally...