Are ALL women just interested in how much money a guy has? [Archive]

Little Texan

11-07-2006, 02:18 AM

Ok, to start off I have been trying the online dating stuff for about a year now, and have had a personals ad on two sites for that length of time, without much success. Incredibly frustrated, I started thinking that maybe it's my looks, that I'm too ugly to attract women, or maybe my pictures just sucked, so I had some new pics taken and posted those, with even worse results. So, I was having a talk with my mom about my lack of success in the online dating arena, and told her that I thought it was my looks, and she proceeded to tell me, among other things, that she thought it had alot to do with money and education level. I'd been completely honest in my profile on my personals ad up to about a week ago, when I decided I would experiment a little and make up a bunch of shit that would make me appear to be some college educated rich guy with a great career and a huge income. Well, after going all year with just a few responses that I could count on one hand and a ton of rejections to my flirts and emails with my old, truthful ad, in just a few days time, I've already had three ladies email me, which proves to me that it really is about the size of a man's wallet that counts most to these women! I'm also having a ton of fun exacting a little payback by doling out a little rejection of my own to these greedy, money grubbing bitches every time they email me! :D

Check it out! (http://personals.yahoo.com/us/personals-1162360953-431868)

binnie

11-07-2006, 02:56 AM

Dude, sounds like you've run into some women that you want to steer well clear of there!

Seshmeister

11-07-2006, 07:30 AM

I heard an academic talking about this on the radio who had done a study and the findings were

a) Women are strongly motivated by money.
b) Men go by appearences.
c) Many men lie about their wealth.
d) Most women lie about their weight.
e) Women are far less likely to go for people of a different ethnicity than guys.

I'm sure you'll be able to find all this stuff online by googling...

Northern Girl

11-07-2006, 08:11 AM

You look fine, but you have no confidence, dude. That's a big turn off.

And it's not so much you have to have A LOT of money, but if you are 30, have a shit paying job and live in a dive; it says to me you have no ambition and don't think too much of yourself. Would you find that attractive?

NATEDOG001976

11-07-2006, 08:33 AM

I just think women are freakin crazy. I'm going to be a monk!

Seshmeister

11-07-2006, 09:04 AM

Originally posted by Seshmeister
I heard an academic talking about this on the radio who had done a study and the findings were

Forgot to say he was talking about online dating specifically.

Hardrock69

11-07-2006, 09:10 AM

Women tend to want a man who they feel can provide for them, be a breadwinner, etc.

So yes, they are moneygrubbers in a manner of speaking. But for a good reason.

On the other hand, I personally do not want to be in a relationship with some lazy gurl who expects me to pay her way.

My significant other would have to be equally motivated to improve her quality of life as well, and not be some lazy slacker sitting around all day shoveling food down her gullet and being a couch potato.

I tried the online dating thing a couple of times.

I possess all of the qualities most women theoretically find attractive.

But I listed my true income, which is not in the $100k and up range (yet).

As a result I would never get any responses.

I will never try that fucking shit again. I prefer the old fashion way. You meet someone, and you click. Or not.

There are lotsa women out there who by their own short-sightedness are seriously missing out.

Too bad.

But then, that is their problem.
:cool:

blonddgirl777

11-07-2006, 09:33 AM

Originally posted by Northern Girl
You look fine, but you have no confidence, dude. That's a big turn off.

And it's not so much you have to have A LOT of money, but if you are 30, have a shit paying job and live in a dive; it says to me you have no ambition and don't think too much of yourself. Would you find that attractive?

I've told you the exact same thing before, haven't I?
Now, listen to US damn it! L.O.L.;)

Seriously, I've seen some average looking guys that DID get some girls... their secret was "overconfidence".
You might think; "How can this person act anf feel as if he was Johnny Depp?"...
He does, because it's all in his attitude, what they beleive of themselves, therefore, what they project on to others etc...

Maybe instead of searching and searching, you should work on your confidence aspect and then, it would all be easier?

Also, I don't know anything about internet dating but I strongly beleive that human contact, meeting people in person, is a very good way to start too!

blonddgirl777

11-07-2006, 09:49 AM

If I was single, I would never use the internet dating services...

Most girsl I know are somehow scared of that. We hear too much shit happening as a result of it (strange men lying about themselves, rapists that want to attract prays, married men who just want an affair etc...).

2 years ago, a friend of mide decided to go online and try that. It took a whole year for her to find a potential male (in writting). She accepted to go on a date with him and when she told me, I was sceptical and worried... What if he was a serial killer? What if she was never gonna come back from that date alive? Who was this guy? And another friend of her had the same exact concerns...

So we made her swear that she would go in a public place (with lots of people around), that she would keep her cell. phone on at all times, that she would answer it when we call in the middle of the date, that she would go to the ladies room and call us to reassure us etc...

Women are (or can be) scared... too bad for the majority of good/ honest guys out there but there are too many creepos in this world that ruin it!

Turned out the guy had posted a picture of him that he'd taken years ago because he had put on some serious weight... plus, he got a little to drunk for her own sake.
It didn't work out.

Hardrock69

11-07-2006, 10:11 AM

Those are just other reasons why I will not use dating services.

For one thing, you mention anything about being a rock musician, I am sure 99% of chicks automatically think "loser", regardless of how successful the guy is....

And yes, there is too much room for deception.

Best to meet someone in person.

I saw a statistic some years back that said people who had successful marriages were more likely to have met each other through mutual friends than any other way.

blonddgirl777

11-07-2006, 10:15 AM

Originally posted by Little Texan
... it really is about the size of a man's wallet that counts...

Try another way to search women, another state, other kinds... I don't know?

I have a lot of friends and know a lot of women (here, in L-A, S-F, Toronto etc...) and most of them are not only into money... There are some lazy gold diggers out there, but it's not the majority. The work places are full of women who value their independance and careers...

Yes, at 30 (and up) we want a guy that has his shit together, no wellfare slacker, no day dreamer etc... we want someone that could provide, if we both decide to have kids and that the woman stays at home for the first year or so... it's normal!

But most of us don't NEED the 250K/year to be happy... I've been told many times that if I wanted, I could have gotten myself a rich guy and blah, blah, blah... Fuck That! My ass might be "worth" but I'm not a whore!!! Those comments used to make me sooooo mad!

When I met my husband in 1991, he was dead poor! I was already working at what I've studied and making good money for my age. He was in a band, extra-confident in himself, with plenty of girls around him... And with no car, a very small bank account, he was on his way to L-A, in hope of a career there...

He had nothing to offer (money and security wise) but his great personality, kindness, good heart and... well... you know... But I could see that he was not a slacker, not a looser, not a dreamer and that he wouldn't try to take advantage of me.

The importance is that a girl sees that there is potential. Ex.; I had to feel that if that musician career didn't kick off, he wouldn't just turn around and do something else (not sit there and wait for a miracle to happen)... My feelings where right about him. He has made up for himself.

Don't go thinking that every woman is the same... and if they are, you are not looking at the right ones... that's all!
Try again...

blonddgirl777

11-07-2006, 10:25 AM

Originally posted by Hardrock69
... For one thing, you mention anything about being a rock musician, I am sure 99% of chicks automatically think "loser", regardless of how successful the guy is....

Unless you're talking to a girl that's into R&R and that can understand that musicians can make money too!

A good friend of ours is a professionnal guitar player. Yes, in his 20's he wanted to be a Rock Star, tour all the time etc... but it didn't take him long to realize that if he wanted to put food on the table, he had to stop dreaming about the staduims and the groupies...

He went to study music in Boston (Berkeley, I think?), and now works as a studio musician, on those cheezy T.V. shows, at weddings, and wherever they will hire him. He also teachs full time to kids in a music school...

So there you have a working musician that makes decent income doing what he likes most in life. He met a girl (a dancer/school tracher) on the set of one of there cheezy T.V. shows... they are happy together.

I know that there is a breed of girls that are "allergic" to musicians and artists in general... they might be the ones to stay away from!

Ellyllions

11-07-2006, 10:26 AM

No. Not all women are looking for money.

blonddgirl777

11-07-2006, 10:30 AM

Originally posted by Ellyllions
No. Not all women are looking for money.

Money... we can get our own (it's doable for everyone)...

But a nice, good hearted man, that will be there through thick and thin, love you regardless of anything, have children with you and be responsable for them (not only throw money at them)...
THAT's hard to find!

Hardrock69

11-07-2006, 10:33 AM

You guys are sensible.

And despite some generalizations even I throw out every now and then, there are always exceptions to the rule.

Personal compatibility has to be number one.

Period.

This includes kindness, communication, common goals and interests, oh and the ability to make each other cum heavily!
:D

blonddgirl777

11-07-2006, 10:37 AM

Originally posted by Hardrock69
... the ability to make each other cum heavily!
:D

How could I've gorgotten about that one? :eek:

Hardrock69

11-07-2006, 10:43 AM

I am a standard-issue human male. Part of my programming is to remind women everywhere about stuff like that.

:D

bueno bob

11-07-2006, 11:50 AM

I've never really had the problem of dating women who were just concerned about a guy's cash flow. In fact, most of my serious relationships have been with women who were unconcerned about that.

There are exceptions, of course, and women like those I never got very far with, because there's always somebody out there who makes more, and they know that. I never considered it a big deal if a woman felt that way, either. I've known a few knockout bombshells with the tight ass and the 38DDs who knew damn well they could write their own ticket. And in a lot of cases, I wished them the best doing it.

blonddgirl777

11-07-2006, 12:09 PM

I just hate these old fuckers in big sports cars that really want to draw the attention...

When I see that in my reer view mirror or next to me, I make a point to completely look the other way...
Or I look at them and make a face that sais: "Big deal"!

Fuck them!

Hardrock69

11-07-2006, 03:13 PM

When I lived in L.A. it was astonishing how many chicks out there would not even look at a man unless he had a pocketful of cash and Maserati.

Little Texan

11-07-2006, 04:32 PM

Originally posted by Hardrock69
I tried the online dating thing a couple of times.

I possess all of the qualities most women theoretically find attractive.

But I listed my true income, which is not in the $100k and up range (yet).

As a result I would never get any responses.

I will never try that fucking shit again. I prefer the old fashion way. You meet someone, and you click. Or not.

There are lotsa women out there who by their own short-sightedness are seriously missing out.

Too bad.

But then, that is their problem.
:cool:

Very true, agreed 100%. That's been my experience thus far. Like I said, I could count the # of responses I received from my honest ad on a few fingers, and I've equalled that in just a few days with this bullshit ad, so that tells me something right there.

Little Texan

11-07-2006, 04:36 PM

Originally posted by Seshmeister
I heard an academic talking about this on the radio who had done a study and the findings were

a) Women are strongly motivated by money.
b) Men go by appearences.
c) Many men lie about their wealth.
d) Most women lie about their weight.
e) Women are far less likely to go for people of a different ethnicity than guys.

I'm sure you'll be able to find all this stuff online by googling...

a) very true
b) very true
c) true to an extent, I don't normally
d)very very true, I've been surprised in a bad way a few times
e)I don't know about that...you see alot of white women around here going for black guys and Mexicans.

Little Texan

11-07-2006, 04:43 PM

Originally posted by Northern Girl
You look fine, but you have no confidence, dude. That's a big turn off.

And it's not so much you have to have A LOT of money, but if you are 30, have a shit paying job and live in a dive; it says to me you have no ambition and don't think too much of yourself. Would you find that attractive?

So, what kind of job I have and where I live matters more to you than if I'm a kind, decent, hard working, honest, generous guy that treats his woman as if she's a queen. OK. :rolleyes:

And this confidence thing...what is it with you women and this confidence shit? Kind of hard to have confidence when you've been rejected by women your whole life and had little to no success with them! You know what they say...success breeds confidence. Well, I've had little to no success in my years with women, so how do you expect me to have any confidence?

franksters

11-07-2006, 04:46 PM

real woman don't care about the cash, they care about your goal and how you wanna get there...

blonddgirl777

11-07-2006, 04:49 PM

Originally posted by Little Texan
So, what kind of job I have and where I live matters more to you than if I'm a kind, decent, hard working, honest, generous guy that treats his woman as if she's a queen. OK. :rolleyes:...

I think that you didn't quite get what we meant (the 3 women that gave their opinions here...)...

If you truely beleive that women are after money only, well... that means you think of us as whores... and that's definitely NOT good!

Little Texan

11-07-2006, 04:52 PM

Originally posted by blonddgirl777
Try another way to search women, another state, other kinds... I don't know?

I have a lot of friends and know a lot of women (here, in L-A, S-F, Toronto etc...) and most of them are not only into money... There are some lazy gold diggers out there, but it's not the majority. The work places are full of women who value their independance and careers...

Yes, at 30 (and up) we want a guy that has his shit together, no wellfare slacker, no day dreamer etc... we want someone that could provide, if we both decide to have kids and that the woman stays at home for the first year or so... it's normal!

But most of us don't NEED the 250K/year to be happy... I've been told many times that if I wanted, I could have gotten myself a rich guy and blah, blah, blah... Fuck That! My ass might be "worth" but I'm not a whore!!! Those comments used to make me sooooo mad!

When I met my husband in 1991, he was dead poor! I was already working at what I've studied and making good money for my age. He was in a band, extra-confident in himself, with plenty of girls around him... And with no car, a very small bank account, he was on his way to L-A, in hope of a career there...

He had nothing to offer (money and security wise) but his great personality, kindness, good heart and... well... you know... But I could see that he was not a slacker, not a looser, not a dreamer and that he wouldn't try to take advantage of me.

The importance is that a girl sees that there is potential. Ex.; I had to feel that if that musician career didn't kick off, he wouldn't just turn around and do something else (not sit there and wait for a miracle to happen)... My feelings where right about him. He has made up for himself.

Don't go thinking that every woman is the same... and if they are, you are not looking at the right ones... that's all!
Try again...

Thanks for sharing that. I'm not anti-women, misogynistic or anything like that...I want to think the best about women, but I just wonder sometimes. I think I have very good qualities that any women would love in a guy, but they just won't give me so much as a chance, and I get so frustrated. I'm a good, decent human being, and it seems that many women go for the scum of the Earth, abusive, piece of shit jerk over guys like me.

Little Texan

11-07-2006, 04:55 PM

I don't need to be discussing this on here...I think I need to go to a shrink! :D

blonddgirl777

11-07-2006, 04:55 PM

Originally posted by Little Texan
... And this confidence thing...what is it with you women and this confidence shit?...

Nothing too special and out of reach... just a simple quality that we are looking for!
Self confidence and a good attitude is what everybody in general (men AND women) are attracted too...

In order to have great sex, you need to have self confidence.
A good job... self confidence again.
To go anywhere in life... SELF CONFIDENCE dude!

Little Texan

11-07-2006, 05:01 PM

Originally posted by blonddgirl777
Nothing too special and out of reach... just a simple quality that we are looking for!
Self confidence and a good attitude is what everybody in general (men AND women) are attracted too...

In order to have great sex, you need to have self confidence.
A good job... self confidence again.
To go anywhere in life... SELF CONFIDENCE dude!

Something that is in very short supply as far as I'm concerned and not so easily attained. I've never had any in my whole adult life...I wish they would bottle the stuff and sell it in the store! I'd sure buy it...

I think I have some mental issues there that would probably be best attended to by a licensed professional...but I don't like shrinks, and I don't have the kind of money to spend to see one! I'm just screwed.

blonddgirl777

11-07-2006, 05:03 PM

Originally posted by Little Texan
I don't need to be discussing this on here...I think I need to go to a shrink! :D

IN MY OPINION, it's not like you have a psychological problem?
A shrink will grab all your money, it will take forever and you might not be satisfied in the end.
But if you don't know anybody that can help you out and give you tips on how to get the girls... it might be an issue.
Also, if you have a "blockage" somewhere...

Maybe you just need to hang out with a friend (like me)...
Maybe you just need a makeover?

I just love doing make overs... sometimes, that is the only thing someone needs!

EX: DO NOT wear a baseball cap on a date.
Look at the girl straight in the eyes
Stand up straight
Etc...

Little Texan

11-07-2006, 05:07 PM

Originally posted by Little Texan
I've never had any in my whole adult life...I wish they would bottle the stuff and sell it in the store! I'd sure buy it...

To clarify, that's confidence, and not sex! I've had sex before...somehow by the grace of God! :D

blonddgirl777

11-07-2006, 05:10 PM

Originally posted by Little Texan
... I'm just screwed.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! :o
Don't give up!

I think you just need to re-program yourself...
This is weird a term used by natural therapists.

You try to forget all of your past/bad experiences and re-program yourself to start at new...
Instead of being slowed down by the negative, you completely forget about it (like you had a lobotomy) and think:

"I can do this... women are only human and if one doesn't want me... others will"
Repeat this sentence in your head (and BELEIVE IN IT)... all the time!

Little Texan

11-07-2006, 05:30 PM

You are a beautiful, kind woman Blonddgirl! Your husband is a lucky guy! Thanks for trying to help me, but I think I'm beyond help at this point. Maybe things will turn around for me someday. I'll live, though, with or without a woman.

blonddgirl777

11-07-2006, 05:32 PM

Originally posted by Little Texan
...Maybe things will turn around for me someday...

Good Luck!
They will...

Northern Girl

11-07-2006, 08:12 PM

Originally posted by Little Texan
So, what kind of job I have and where I live matters more to you than if I'm a kind, decent, hard working, honest, generous guy that treats his woman as if she's a queen. OK. :rolleyes:

I really don't think I said that! You missed my point. If you are always striving for better and achieving it, that gives you confidence.

You're a bit defensive now, but do you REALLY think that about yourself? I hope you do, but it doesn't seem like it. Trust me, those are all the qualities women want, but for some reason women aren't seeing it in you. If you are kind of shy at first, that may be a part of it. Women can read that as you aren't interested. Women like attention. Just approach them, ask questions, get them talking about themselves; so they know you're interested.

You have to drop the "I'm a hopeless cause" attitude or nothing is going to change.

Stay honest about your situation too. Playing games will get you nowhere.

There are all kinds of people out there. I don't understand why guys go after the bitches that they do either, but there you have it. It works both ways. Nice guys (and girls) do finish last a lot of the time.

That match.com claims to work great. If there's a lack of women around you, you may want to try that. It sounds different than the other online stuff. I think you fill out a pretty extensive personality profile about yourself and then you get the perfect match. :)

bueno bob

11-07-2006, 08:24 PM

What I always did (with ONE notable exception) was to feign disinterest. Like NG said, women LOVE attention (they all do, nobody's an exception in that department). By just kinda taking them all in in a friendship setting, not really putting a lot of stock into them...it's hard to explain, but women seem to become more eager when they think you're not really into them.

There was, in years past, one girl I really wanted to get to know, so I just kinda got to know her (she was a friend of my friends, you know), and talked with her, group activities, but didn't ogle her or drool over her or ask her out inside of five minutes...basically, that was the response she usually got from single men.

By appearing not to be interested, SHE actually got interested in me - to see why I wasn't interested. After that she was chasing me, not the other way around.

After about three weeks of giving her grief, I "gave in" - which is exactly what I wanted to happen in the first place.

So...if you hang it all out there, often times it scares a girl away. If you play your cards a little closer, you'd be amazed at how receptive they can get on occasion...

Of course, NG will agree with all of that, because she really wants me.

:D

Dan

11-07-2006, 11:38 PM

Silly question for you,Have you tried your Church that you go to if you do?

Susie Q

11-08-2006, 12:18 AM

Honestly Little T....The thing that is a turn on for me is honesty and humility. I like a confident man, yes. But I also like a man to have intelligence, and self respect. I also like someone who treats others with kindness and respect. I don't find that anymore. Just selfish immaturity.

There was this one guy I worked with that literally gave his shirt off his back one day because he saw how cold I was (there wasn't much heat in the building.). He had a sweatshirt over his t-shirt he was wearing. I thought....wow, what a kind gesture that was. He also was a very smart person who downplayed all his goodness. I found that extremely attractive. If he wasn't married at the time or I, I would have been more apt to go after him. :)

SparkieD

11-08-2006, 12:20 AM

Originally posted by Little Texan

And this confidence thing...what is it with you women and this confidence shit? Kind of hard to have confidence when you've been rejected by women your whole life and had little to no success with them! You know what they say...success breeds confidence. Well, I've had little to no success in my years with women, so how do you expect me to have any confidence?

Remember what Jack Pallance said way back on those aftershave commercials? "Confidence is very sexy!" Well, that is very true.

A man without confidence seems needy. It's really irritating to have to 'babysit' a grown man. Now, I'm definitely not adverse to giving my man a boost to his confidence on a regular basis, but it shouldn't feel like a requirement.

Overconfidence is a completely different ballgame and way more unattractive than lack thereof.

blonddgirl777

11-08-2006, 12:24 AM

Originally posted by Dan
Silly question for you,Have you tried your Church that you go to if you do?

This is not a silly question...
4 years ago, my sister had left her boyfriend and found herself single. She was not looking for a boyfriend but my Mom. (who goes to church every sunday) told her that there was some good looking guys, in their 30's that she would see attending, every now and then...

Turned out my sister met her present boyfriend at the car shop... both of them where waiting for their winter tires to be installed...

Sometimes, it can happen when and where you least expect it!