Satan is Santa Claus!

[Little Texan]

The Devil Is In Your Chimney!
Is Santa Claus, Satan? (A Special Report Concerning the Origin of Santa Claus)

Written by Katydid

Freehold, Iowa - Satan's evil plan has created jobs for hundreds of thousands of old lecherous pedophiles throughout this Godly country every December. These filthy homeless hobos just lay on their urine-stained cardboard beds 11 months out of the year, dreaming of Christmas when they can drunkenly traipse into the warmth of departments stores and have innocent little Christian children sit on their vermin-infested laps. Unwary parents happily snap pictures while Satan's obesely wheezing drunks ask their children whether they've been "bad" and whisper lewd suggestions in their angelic little ears with their filthy booze-breath and cigarette-discolored lips. How many unsuspecting tots have suffered a quick grope before Satan's little helper moves on to the next hopeful child in line?

People think that Halloween is the time of year that Satan dresses up, but this is just flat-out wrong. See? The Devil will always try to fool you! Halloween is when Satan delights in watching humans dress in ways that will ensure them entry into the Devil's realm. But it is Christmas time that the Devil saves for himself! It is then when he puts on his most devious costume! And it takes no Sherlock Holmes to see that the Devil's annual disguise is none other than Santa! He even wears his favorite color -- demon red. Even his last name, "Claus," is Olde English for "hoof-claws." Lucifer may be the wiliest of all the deceitful demons that ever drew breath of fire in Hell, but he was pretty sloppy when he decided to try to spoil our Savior's birthday with this disguise. His big devil ego got the better of him when he decided to name his Christmas Anti-Christ after himself. He just moved around the letters in the name, "Satan," into a sonogram and got "Santa." Well, this is to put Prince of Darkness on notice: We are on to you Satan! And we unmask you and heartily rebuke you! Get thee hence from our Christ's birthday party!

Satan once was God's favorite angel. But he tried a heavenly coup and God should have by all rights killed him right then and there. But God, being all that is good, gave him his very own place to rule and called it Hell. And even though God gave Satan free reign to tempt as many people as he wanted (even Christ Himself!) and lots of fabulous stuff to tempt them with (like eternal youth and Lincoln Continentals), Satan was still not satisfied. It made him jealous that Americans have made Christmas the most important retail event of the year, far overshadowing Satan's own holiday, Halloween. So Satan has tried to undermine Christmas by making Santa even more popular than Jesus!

You don't think so? Even the law of the land forbids a baby Jesus in the town square, but who is there instead? You guessed it! Santa! Every time a so-called Christian child asks Santa for something, he is praying to Satan. With each request fulfilled, parents are unwittingly making a pact with the Devil. They may as well be writing in blood, "Satan please distract our children from Jesus with all these shiny toys!" But you know what? When your little boys and girls have grown up and no longer believe that Santa is real, they will find out just how real Satan is when he comes to collect their souls in exchange for all those presents! And God will turn a deaf ear to their pathetic wails of desperation. God will say, "You were more interested in that fat demon who was giving you presents than my Son who was giving you salvation, so you can all rot in Hell for all I care."

So talk to your children before it is too late! Tell them that Santa is no kindly old man; he is an evil demon. And next time your family sees some propped up gin-soaked vagrant in a Mall wearing a red suit with white furry cuffs, set a good example and witness for the other deluded people waiting in line. Loudly, rebuke him! Announce to all the children in the store "Not only is Santa a lie, he will ravage you sexually, drink your blood and drag your palpating carcasses down to Hell with him!" It is only through setting a good example that we can put the Christ back in Christmas.

Link (http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1299/santy.html)

[Ally_Kat]

Not enough babbling for it to be credited to Katydid

[Satan]

Shit.... who figured it out? :(

[Hardrock69]

Kinda obvious, eh Evil One?

Ally hit the nail on the head.....ya goota include some onsensical bullshit to even come close to imitating her, but no matter.

Funny read anyway.
:cool:

[Hardrock69]

A couple of things got left out.

1. You never see Satan & Santa in the same place at the same time.

2. Here is how it works:

All the thieves in the world fence their loot to Satan and his little 'helpers'.

Then, around christmas, Satan puts on his Santa outfit, dresses all the little demons up in elf costumes, and redistributes the wealth to people all over the world.

Poor Katypig has stayed up all night on Christmas Eve for the last 40 years, in a vain attempt to catch Santa in her house, so she can ask him to ass-rape her.

Her ex-husband finally had enough when he woke up on Christmas morning to go to the living room with the kids, where they all found Katypig passed out in an alcoholic stupor under the Christmas tree with a giant black dildo crammed up her ass, and an empty bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 lying on top of her open Bible.

They divorced within days after that.

[Satan]

Originally posted by Hardrock69
A couple of things got left out.

1. You never see Satan & Santa in the same place at the same time.

Well, of course not. What would I be doing at the North Pole?? Too fucking cold for a Devil who has spent several millenia in a warm and toasty 666 degree environment. :cool:


2. Here is how it works:

All the thieves in the world fence their loot to Satan and his little 'helpers'.

Then, around christmas, Satan puts on his Santa outfit, dresses all the little demons up in elf costumes, and redistributes the wealth to people all over the world.

Ummm... I refuse to comment on this one, under the 5th Ammendment.


Poor Katypig has stayed up all night on Christmas Eve for the last 40 years, in a vain attempt to catch Santa in her house, so she can ask him to ass-rape her.

And she can keep on dreaming......



Her ex-husband finally had enough when he woke up on Christmas morning to go to the living room with the kids, where they all found Katypig passed out in an alcoholic stupor under the Christmas tree with a giant black dildo crammed up her ass, and an empty bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 lying on top of her open Bible.

They divorced within days after that.

Poor Ed Roth..... He's actually told me that Hell is better than life with Katie!

[Katydid]

Originally posted by Hardrock69
A couple of things got left out.

1. You never see Satan & Santa in the same place at the same time.

2. Here is how it works:

All the thieves in the world fence their loot to Satan and his little 'helpers'.

Then, around christmas, Satan puts on his Santa outfit, dresses all the little demons up in elf costumes, and redistributes the wealth to people all over the world.

Poor Hardrock69 has stayed up all night on Christmas Eve for the last 40 years, in a vain attempt to catch Santa in his house, so he can ask him to ass-rape him.

Hid mama finally had enough when she woke up on Christmas morning to go to the living room with the kids, where they all found Hardrock 69 passed out in an alcoholic stupor under the Christmas tree with a giant black dildo crammed up his ass, and an empty bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 lying on top of his bong.

She threatened to throw him out if he didn't stay down in the basement where he belonged.

[Katydid]

Originally posted by Ally_Kat
Not enough babbling for it to be credited to Katydid, after all everyone knows I am the Queen of Babylon.

[Katydid]

Originally posted by Little Texan
The Devil Is In Your Chimney!
Is Santa Claus, Satan? (A Special Report Concerning the Origin of Santa Claus)

Written by Katydid

Freehold, Iowa - Satan's evil plan has created jobs for hundreds of thousands of old lecherous pedophiles throughout this Godly country every December. These filthy homeless hobos just lay on their urine-stained cardboard beds 11 months out of the year, dreaming of Christmas when they can drunkenly traipse into the warmth of departments stores and have innocent little Christian children sit on their vermin-infested laps. Unwary parents happily snap pictures while Satan's obesely wheezing drunks ask their children whether they've been "bad" and whisper lewd suggestions in their angelic little ears with their filthy booze-breath and cigarette-discolored lips. How many unsuspecting tots have suffered a quick grope before Satan's little helper moves on to the next hopeful child in line?

People think that Halloween is the time of year that Satan dresses up, but this is just flat-out wrong. See? The Devil will always try to fool you! Halloween is when Satan delights in watching humans dress in ways that will ensure them entry into the Devil's realm. But it is Christmas time that the Devil saves for himself! It is then when he puts on his most devious costume! And it takes no Sherlock Holmes to see that the Devil's annual disguise is none other than Santa! He even wears his favorite color -- demon red. Even his last name, "Claus," is Olde English for "hoof-claws." Lucifer may be the wiliest of all the deceitful demons that ever drew breath of fire in Hell, but he was pretty sloppy when he decided to try to spoil our Savior's birthday with this disguise. His big devil ego got the better of him when he decided to name his Christmas Anti-Christ after himself. He just moved around the letters in the name, "Satan," into a sonogram and got "Santa." Well, this is to put Prince of Darkness on notice: We are on to you Satan! And we unmask you and heartily rebuke you! Get thee hence from our Christ's birthday party!

Satan once was God's favorite angel. But he tried a heavenly coup and God should have by all rights killed him right then and there. But God, being all that is good, gave him his very own place to rule and called it Hell. And even though God gave Satan free reign to tempt as many people as he wanted (even Christ Himself!) and lots of fabulous stuff to tempt them with (like eternal youth and Lincoln Continentals), Satan was still not satisfied. It made him jealous that Americans have made Christmas the most important retail event of the year, far overshadowing Satan's own holiday, Halloween. So Satan has tried to undermine Christmas by making Santa even more popular than Jesus!

You don't think so? Even the law of the land forbids a baby Jesus in the town square, but who is there instead? You guessed it! Santa! Every time a so-called Christian child asks Santa for something, he is praying to Satan. With each request fulfilled, parents are unwittingly making a pact with the Devil. They may as well be writing in blood, "Satan please distract our children from Jesus with all these shiny toys!" But you know what? When your little boys and girls have grown up and no longer believe that Santa is real, they will find out just how real Satan is when he comes to collect their souls in exchange for all those presents! And God will turn a deaf ear to their pathetic wails of desperation. God will say, "You were more interested in that fat demon who was giving you presents than my Son who was giving you salvation, so you can all rot in Hell for all I care."

So talk to your children before it is too late! Tell them that Santa is no kindly old man; he is an evil demon. And next time your family sees some propped up gin-soaked vagrant in a Mall wearing a red suit with white furry cuffs, set a good example and witness for the other deluded people waiting in line. Loudly, rebuke him! Announce to all the children in the store "Not only is Santa a lie, he will ravage you sexually, drink your blood and drag your palpating carcasses down to Hell with him!" It is only through setting a good example that we can put the Christ back in Christmas.

Link (http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1299/santy.html)

I see that it was a Baptist who posted it. Everyone knows I'm Catholic.

[ALinChainz]

You ain't Catholic, you ain't shit.

And when you address the Queen ... you should know a little more about being Catholic, as she has shown you how fucking wrong you have it all the time.

Dry up Sea Hag ... don't you and your son have a diaper change around this time?

[Hardrock69]

http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/attachment.php?s=&postid=794363

[Golden AWe]

up the katydid's crudder!!!

katy, did it feel AWESOME???

[Jimmy Jingles]

Originally posted by Katydid
Everyone knows I'm Catholic.



Everyone also knows that you are a shit slinging whore.

[Katydid]

Originally posted by ALinChainz
I ain't Catholic, I ain't shit.

And when I address the Queen ... I should know a little more about being Catholic, as she has shown me how fucking wrong you have it all the time.

Dry up Sea Hag ... don't you and your son have a diaper change around this time?

No, my son took his swimming trunks to swim inside today. And they are going to see the McAddanville Christmas lights. Won't be home till late tonight.

They constantly are going somewhere or doing something in the Day Treatment that he goes to 5 days a week, 6 hrs. a day.

I admire and respect his courage. If he had laid down and quit he'd probably be an invalid.

Watch your filthy mouth and mind when you mention my son.

And respect your elders.

[Katydid]

Originally posted by Jimmy Jingles
Everyone also knows that I am a shit slinging whore.

[Katydid]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
up Golden Awe's crudder!!!

Golden Awe, did it feel AWESOME???

[Katydid]

Originally posted by Hardrock69

I'm so obsessed with Katydid all I can do is cut and paste and wank.

Tell me, do you think I make a better Devil than David Lee Roth?


http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/attachment.php?s=&postid=794363

[Katydid]

In your dreams Punk.

David Lee Roth

[Jérôme Frenchise]

Originally posted by Hardrock69
http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/attachment.php?s=&postid=794363

:D

Hey, Hardrock, in addition, you call a dildo a "god'" ("godemiché") in French! :)

Ain't it funny? :D

[Jérôme Frenchise]

"Satan is Santa Claus", OK... but Santa is children's Jesus! :p

Just as Jeez is adults' Santa Claus! :p

Just IMO. ;)

[Katydid]

Originally posted by Jérôme Frenchise
:D

Hey, Hardrock, in addition, you call a dildo a "god'" ("godemiché") in French! :) I can imagine you with one up the counsel gritter.

Ain't it funny? :D Yell "Hail Satan! My God."

[Jérôme Frenchise]

Originally posted by Katydid
Yell "Hail Satan! My God."

I wouldn't even do that. Satan has no more existence than the Catholics' god to me. I just hail nothing in that "area". :cool:

[Susie Q]

Originally posted by Katydid
In your dreams Punk.

David Lee Roth


LOL! You gotta love it when she does this!! :p

Sam Cooke

[Ally_Kat]

Originally posted by Susie Q
LOL! You gotta love it when she does this!! :p

Sam Cooke

Oh, absolutely

Rick James

[FORD]

No shit!

Johnny Cash

[Ally_Kat]

Originally posted by Katydid

Originally posted by Ally_Kat
Not enough babbling for it to be credited to Katydid, after all everyone knows I am the Queen of Babylon.


LMMFAO! Awesome!

So, like, do I get a crown or something? Which one of you bastards is giving me that illegitimate child? How long until I can proclaim myself a goddess?

[ALinChainz]

She's a nasty-ass BEAST of BURDEN.

Mick Jagger

[Jérôme Frenchise]

"I beg your pardon?"

Pete Townshend

:D

[Coyote]

Now, I know there's good in every human being, but Katy's just a fucked up sleazy cunt devoid of any intelligence.

Stiv Bators

[Hardrock69]

Originally posted by Katydid
Yell "Hail Satan! My God."

http://i11.tinypic.com/2gv06pt.jpg

[Hardrock69]

Hey Ally...I'll volunteer!
:D

[Katydid]

Hardrock69,

Doesn't feel good when someone puts it back on you, does it?

Why are you filled with so much hate? You must be truly miserable.

Did your parents sodomize you? Is that why you talk about it constantly? AL does the same.

Luckily I had good, clean minded older parents who were very strict. They would not even let my brother, sister and I stay all night with anyone.
Ed and I raised our kids that way also. My sons all go to church every week with their families and have followed the same rules.

My heart breaks at what I hear some kids having to go thru in life.

Darren and I went last night to mass and took some banana bread and cinnamon swirl glazed bread I'd baked to a friend and her family.

I did that for all my friends this year. Put it in a cute Santa pkg. w/ red paper.

Today Darren and I took some of the bread to a friend in an assisted living home; she used to be our secretary in Eyeware Comfort Co.

Came home and finished cooking chicken and dumplings. Put 2 eggs in a bowl, mix self rising flour, salt and pepper in and dropped it by spoonfuls into boiling chicken broth.

[Hardrock69]

Originally posted by Katydid
Hardrock69,

Doesn't feel good when someone puts it back on you, does it?

Puts what back on me? Your posts don't even have as much importance to me as the classified ads in the back of Christian Science Monitor....you know the ones: "New Jesus Study Materials Only $50 a month....send in your order now and we will pray over it and deposit the money in your Heavenly Checking Account...send to Robert Tilton, Senior Citizens Church of Jesus Molestation, PO Box 666, Key West, FL".
:rolleyes:


Originally posted by Katydid

Why are you filled with so much hate? You must be truly miserable.

If anyone is filled with hate and misery around here it is you and Joe Thudner. You are miserable because you cannot suck Joe's cock and you hate him for it, and Joe is miserable because he has such a hard time finding 6-year-old boys whose pee-pees he can suck.

You need to give him the name and address of some of the altar boys from your church. You know the ones who have been spending a lot of time with your priest?



Originally posted by Katydid

Did your parents sodomize you? Is that why you talk about it constantly? AL does the same.

MY parents treated me with love and respect. Your parents were not your real parents. You were an accidental result of a test-tube experiment gone wrong, and the lab who created you was able to sell you at a pedophile auction to the highest bidder. The couple that raised you did so for the free unlimited pedo-perversion they could have.



Originally posted by Katydid

Luckily I had good, clean minded older parents who were very strict. They would not even let my brother, sister and I stay all night with anyone.

Looks like they successfully hipnotized you so that you forgot the ass-raping contests they held where you were the "object".



Originally posted by Katydid
Ed and I raised our kids that way also. My sons all go to church every week with their families and have followed the same rules.

Yeah...the rules....like rule #1: "You must always wear a cape when being sodomized by Mommy".

http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/attachment.php?s=&postid=789124


Originally posted by Katydid
My heart breaks at what I hear some kids having to go thru in life.

Yeah right...like being free from poverty and having loving parents who do not ass-rape them with a strap-on on a daily basis...



Originally posted by Katydid
Darren and I went last night to mass and took some banana bread and cinnamon swirl glazed bread I'd baked to a friend and her family.

How much hash did you bake into the banana bread? How many bananas used for the banana bread did you cram up your ass first?



Originally posted by Katydid
I did that for all my friends this year. Put it in a cute Santa pkg. w/ red paper.

I feel sorry for anyone who is subjected to your presence....



Originally posted by Katydid
Today Darren and I took some of the shit-coated banana bread to a friend in an assisted living home; she used to be our secretary in Eyeware Comfort Co. but now she sucks cock for all the drooling senior citizens who cannot get it up anymore without causing their colostomy bags to overflow all over the floor....came home and finished cooking chicken and dumplings. Put some belly-button lint in a bowl, mix self rising flour, salt and pepper in and dropped some of my shit in it by spoonfuls into boiling chicken broth.


You are a disgusting creature....

[binnie]

This thread is hilarious....

[Anonymous]

The site of that link... it may very well be the most hilarious, well put together shit in the net.

At first glance, you'd even believe it to be "real". And that's only half the genius of it all.

Cheers! :bottle:

[Satan]

This thread is hilarious....

Yeah, it is. Might as well Beelze-bump it up for the Hellidays! ^..^

[Hardrock69]

Satan, thanks man. I REALLY needed a good laugh. And I had forgotten just how thoroughly I wasted that bitch on a verbal level. :lmao: