I dunno if I should gloat or cry in shame...

[Anonymous]

:baaa: :( :o

Dedicate one to the ladies, nah yezz...

So, yesterday I went down easy street... exceptionally, of course... I don't do it all that much. :) yeah, right...

And sumthin' happened that made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. No, t'wasn't the hooker. She was DAMN HOT, that little black vixen, and exceptionally reasonable for such quality - 20 euros for the two course meal, 30 fer the 3 course meal.

And this is where me woes/ego boost begins. I arseked fer the trhee course meal, and this is what she said:

"Ain't NO WAY in Hell you're gonna stick THAT monster in my little arsehole!"

So I stood there, coch in hand, not knowing whether I should laugh or cry. Sure, 'tis good to have your ego inflated that way, but at what cost??? She had such a FINE ASS!!!

"40", says I "40 euros and you lemme in." To which she succintly replied "Honey, you're not going in, not even if you pay 500."

Bitch! Slut! Whore! The nerve! :mad:

I ain't given up, though... I'm going back in - straight to the ass of the matter... and next week, she WILL have it in her!

Imapus Sylicker's word, she will.

Ok, you can start cuntparing me to Joe Thunder now... :D

Cheers! :bottle:

[Matt White]

Hmmm.....interesting theory...I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter....

[Dan]

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
:baaa: :( :o

Dedicate one to the ladies, nah yezz...

So, yesterday I went down easy street... exceptionally, of course... I don't do it all that much. :) yeah, right...

And sumthin' happened that made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. No, t'wasn't the hooker. She was DAMN HOT, that little black vixen, and exceptionally reasonable for such quality - 20 euros for the two course meal, 30 fer the 3 course meal.

And this is where me woes/ego boost begins. I arseked fer the trhee course meal, and this is what she said:

"Ain't NO WAY in Hell you're gonna stick THAT monster in my little arsehole!"

So I stood there, coch in hand, not knowing whether I should laugh or cry. Sure, 'tis good to have your ego inflated that way, but at what cost??? She had such a FINE ASS!!!

"40", says I "40 euros and you lemme in." To which she succintly replied "Honey, you're not going in, not even if you pay 500."

Bitch! Slut! Whore! The nerve! :mad:

I ain't given up, though... I'm going back in - straight to the ass of the matter... and next week, she WILL have it in her!

Imapus Sylicker's word, she will.

Ok, you can start cuntparing me to Joe Thunder now... :D

Cheers! :bottle:

You are a Sick Fucker.:D

[Wawazat]

Don't waste time, the quest for happiness is your main objective !

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by Wawazat
Don't waste time, the quest for happiness is your main objective !

Yes, and my quest for happiness is to plunge my Rod of Divinity up her crudder.

Cheers! :bottle:

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by Matt White
Hmmm.....interesting theory...I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter....

I'll be posting events as they unfold.

I will also try and hire her as a cleaning lady. Hey, is she fucks fer 20, she'll probably clean fer 10.

Wot a cuntcept - having a prostitute clening your house!

Cheers! :bottle:

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by Dan
You are a Sick Fucker.:D

You don't know the half of it...

Cheers! :bottle:

[binnie]

Ha HA!!!!

Fantastic!

Well, you gotta take that as a compliment - I'm assuming you still got the two course meal?

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by binnie
Ha HA!!!!

Fantastic!

Well, you gotta take that as a compliment - I'm assuming you still got the two course meal?

'Course I did - or, I should say, SHE did. The way things went, I felt cheated. I should've been the one charging, not her...

And I did took it as a compliment - although a very high priced one. 'Cause I had never seen such roundness & firmness before, only to have it denied to me... I feel I'm obssessed.

I'm definitely goin' back!

Cheers! :bottle:

[Wawazat]

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
Yes, and my quest for happiness is to plunge my Rod of Divinity up her crudder.

Cheers! :bottle:

Such respectable intention, a true paradigm, hard-earned respect shall escort your aim !

[binnie]

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
''Cause I had never seen such roundness & firmness before, only to have it denied to me... I feel I'm obssessed.


That sounds like Warrant lyric....lol!

I hear you though...

[Matt White]

DOUBLE DAMN!!!:mad:

[Shaun Ponsonby]

This is a very rude thread.

[binnie]

Yes, I feel we must cuntgratulate Imapus Syliker for being so open about his personal life!

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by binnie
Yes, I feel we must cuntgratulate Imapus Syliker for being so open about his personal life!

Personal her arse! It's a prostitute I be chattin' about - it's goods vs. money. Therefore, I'm being open about my BUSINESS life - as opposed to personal.

Cheers! :bottle:

[Dan]

Any pictures?:D

[fryingdutchman]

How much for a blumpkin?

[Anonymous]

You know what pains me the most in this whole ordeal?

Well, one of these days, perhaps a month before the above soap opera even loomed on the horizon, I took another trip down that street.

So, I call her and after the "Hello, I'm calling aboot the ad on the newspaper" she gives me directions and 5 minutes later, there he is, a tall, muscular Norse God - me - banging on her door. Another type of banging would be done soon enough - uhuhuhuhuhu.

The door opens and - Good Lard in Heaven! The most hideous thing I've ever seen invites me in. Well, I can't honestly say the most hideous thing I've ever seen because I couldn't bare too look at it for more than half a second... which is why, mercifully, I can't remember her face.

And there I was, a million excuses running through my mind "I left my wallet in my other pants", "Is this the flower shop", "I'm gay", etc. etc., when suddenly, a hymn of angels graces my auricular cavities as a beam of pure, white light spills from the inside of that hideous lair - and her friend reaches for me and utters the most beautiful word I've ever heard in my poor, sad & short life on the Lard's green earth: "Choose."

Make no mistake, this one was damn f'ugly too, but at least she had a nice body... and doggy-style, no face.

We go inside the especially prepared division, I hand her the required entrance fee, and she replies "I'll just go get your change, darling." "Change?", says I "No change - it be ALL I want - that be the correct amount." Her eyes go wild as she stammers "But... but... I don't do backdoor. If you want, I'll call my friend and you can do it with her."

"NOOO!!! Sweet Mother of Mercy, don't do that!!!", I but yelled in that small division "I have a faint heart - you'll kill me if you threaten me with such offers. Choose, you said, and chosen I have. 'Tis you, who'll get it."

At this point, she eyes me from feet to face and back again and purrs "Well... you ARE good-looking, and I guess I'll have to do it sooner or later... it IS more money to be earned... alright. With you. I'll do it."

My grin could've lighted a thousand hearts on fire in that moment... but the surprises were far from over. As she drags me to the bed, she whispers in a lust filled voice "My husband will be so pleased after this, when I tell him we can finally have anal sex..."

:eek:

Cheers! :bottle:

[bueno bob]

Good grief!

What happened next?

[Wawazat]

We need an update here !

[Shaun Ponsonby]

Really?

I thought it was all over...shows what I know.

Or does it?

[Vinnie Velvet]

Very interesting indeed.

Awaiting an update on proceedings....

[Dan]

And Pictures.:D

[Anonymous]

I had forgotten all aboot this! :confused:

I actually have some more interesting stories about hookers, yes indeed.

In fact, this thread should be renamed to "Imapus Sylicker's adventures down Easy Street".

I think it has a nicer ring to it.

I'll post a couple of them tomorrow - boy, they're a RIOT!

Well, mildly funny, anyways...

Cheers! :bottle:

[katie]

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
:baaa: :( :o

Dedicate one to the ladies, nah yezz...

So, yesterday I went down easy street... exceptionally, of course... I don't do it all that much. :) yeah, right...

And sumthin' happened that made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. No, t'wasn't the hooker. She was DAMN HOT, that little black vixen, and exceptionally reasonable for such quality - 20 euros for the two course meal, 30 fer the 3 course meal.

And this is where me woes/ego boost begins. I arseked fer the trhee course meal, and this is what she said:

"Ain't NO WAY in Hell you're gonna stick THAT monster in my little arsehole!"

So I stood there, coch in hand, not knowing whether I should laugh or cry. Sure, 'tis good to have your ego inflated that way, but at what cost??? She had such a FINE ASS!!!

"40", says I "40 euros and you lemme in." To which she succintly replied "Honey, you're not going in, not even if you pay 500."

Bitch! Slut! Whore! The nerve! :mad:

I ain't given up, though... I'm going back in - straight to the ass of the matter... and next week, she WILL have it in her!

Imapus Sylicker's word, she will.

Ok, you can start cuntparing me to Joe Thunder now... :D

Cheers! :bottle:


Originally posted by Rikk

The PEN is a place for all to post, but only when something is really worthy of posting. No long threads about nothing...Rikk;)

[Wawazat]

Shouldn't you be working on updating your bootleg archive list ?

[Wawazat]

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
I had forgotten all aboot this! :confused:

I actually have some more interesting stories about hookers, yes indeed.

In fact, this thread should be renamed to "Imapus Sylicker's adventures down Easy Street".

I think it has a nicer ring to it.

I'll post a couple of them tomorrow - boy, they're a RIOT!

Well, mildly funny, anyways...

Cheers! :bottle:

Gotta love Pussy :)

[Dan]

Hookers in The Sheep Pen?

[Anonymous]

This thread is being cuntinued in the Dump, peeps.

Thaks to Golden AWe fer a hand on moving it and chaging the title. 'Tis much more fitting now.

Imapus Sylicker's adventures down Easy...Easy Street (http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=46663)

Cheers! :bottle:

[The_KiD]

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
:baaa: :( :o

Dedicate one to the ladies, nah yezz...

So, yesterday I went down easy street... exceptionally, of course... I don't do it all that much. :) yeah, right...

And sumthin' happened that made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. No, t'wasn't the hooker. She was DAMN HOT, that little black vixen, and exceptionally reasonable for such quality - 20 euros for the two course meal, 30 fer the 3 course meal.

And this is where me woes/ego boost begins. I arseked fer the trhee course meal, and this is what she said:

"Ain't NO WAY in Hell you're gonna stick THAT monster in my little arsehole!"

So I stood there, coch in hand, not knowing whether I should laugh or cry. Sure, 'tis good to have your ego inflated that way, but at what cost??? She had such a FINE ASS!!!

"40", says I "40 euros and you lemme in." To which she succintly replied "Honey, you're not going in, not even if you pay 500."

Bitch! Slut! Whore! The nerve! :mad:

I ain't given up, though... I'm going back in - straight to the ass of the matter... and next week, she WILL have it in her!

Imapus Sylicker's word, she will.

Ok, you can start cuntparing me to Joe Thunder now... :D

Cheers! :bottle:

Excellent reading.. LOL..

KiD