Why do Jesus Freaks Start Drooling When They Talk About The Bible? [Archive]

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Hardrock69

03-18-2007, 04:01 AM

I see so many of these goobers on TV, and have encountered quite a few in real life....Jerry Falwell does this...he has to lick his lips about every other sentence....

"Let uth tern to Thethalonions chapter three, verth theventeen....."

Of course some of these people start actually foaming at the mouth, getting all hysterical and wide-eyed like Robert Tilton (otherwise known as FartMan).

I had a boss once who sould start drooling whenever he talked about the Bible.....

Man...somebody get these people a bucket...
:rolleyes:

But then, I probably start drooling a bit talking about stuff like how I want to lick Phoebe Cates hot snatch, or the intricacies of tone through an overdriven tube amp......

:D

Nitro Express

03-19-2007, 02:59 AM

Because they read the Song's of Solomon and they get horny and need to bang something or wank one off.

DrMaddVibe

03-19-2007, 06:53 AM

Roy Munson

03-19-2007, 10:00 AM

Originally posted by DrMaddVibe
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Love your sig.

:cool:

glensfallspaul

03-23-2007, 01:40 PM

Thankfully, Robert Tilton doesn't speak -- or pass gas -- for any Christian I know, "Jesus Freak" or otherwise.

binnie

03-26-2007, 03:21 AM

Seem to remember that there was a Bill Hicks joke along the lines of "isn't it ironic that people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved..."

FORD

03-26-2007, 03:46 AM

Originally posted by binnie
Seem to remember that there was a Bill Hicks joke along the lines of "isn't it ironic that people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved..."

Even more ironic is the fact that they put a Chimp in the White House.

Darwin's gotta be laughing at that one, wherever he is.

binnie

03-26-2007, 06:12 AM

Originally posted by FORD
Even more ironic is the fact that they put a Chimp in the White House.

Darwin's gotta be laughing at that one, wherever he is.

He's in heaven, scratching his head and looking at God saying "so dinosaurs didn't really exist at all, you were just planting them to test our faith - damn......"

Seshmeister

03-26-2007, 09:30 AM

Originally posted by FORD
Even more ironic is the fact that they put a Chimp in the White House.

Darwin's gotta be laughing at that one, wherever he is.

He's in Westminster Abbey in London.

http://bp3.blogger.com/_DZH2cmCoois/RaRLJfow_6I/AAAAAAAAAWc/qDPchM14_WM/s400/Darwin_tomb.jpg

Seshmeister

03-26-2007, 09:34 AM

Or on a happy note from the website that I got the pic

Darwin doesn't have a resting place. When he died he entered eternal oblivion. Nothing he did, and nothing that any of us do, has any lasting significance or meaning.

One day our sun will turn into a red giant. When that happens its corona will expand beyond the orbit of the earth. The earth's atmosphere will be stripped away, the seas will boil away, the sands will fuse into glass, and all life will be exterminated. There will be no record of anything anyone has ever done, created, or thought.

Seshmeister

03-26-2007, 09:47 AM

Reminds me of 'Play it again Sam'...:)

Allan: That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollack, isn't it?

Museum Girl: Yes, it is.

Allan: What does it say to you?

Museum Girl: It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of Man forced to live in a barren, Godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror and degradation, forming a useless bleak straitjacket in a black absurd cosmos.

Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?

Museum Girl: Committing suicide.

Allan: What about Friday night?

jhale667

03-26-2007, 10:17 AM

Originally posted by Hardrock69

But then, I probably start drooling a bit talking about stuff like how I want to lick Phoebe Cates hot snatch, or the intricacies of tone through an overdriven tube amp......

:D

Yeah, but that is totally understandable.....;)

Unchainme

01-22-2010, 12:44 AM

Or on a happy note from the website that I got the pic

Wasn't there an old urban legend that he converted to Christianity on his death bed? Or am I remembering incorrectly

Eh, as for Hardrocks orignal post. Some people are just nutty as Christians and take it to the extreme. Sort of bums me out to see some one like Pat Robertson be the representative of Christian Faith in America and people like Katydid pop up all over the place, when there are perfectly sane Christians that are all over the place, and reject a lot of the homophobic/racist/whackjob rhetoric that come out of 700 Club. Hell, I don't even think I've wasted a secound of ever watching that dribble.

I auctually believe that it's possible that Evolution/Big Bang, whatever you may call it auctually doesn't conflict all that much with having Faith in a God.

GAR

01-22-2010, 12:56 AM

Wasn't there an old urban legend that he converted to Christianity on his death bed?

DLR converted Saturday 10-21-1972, but apparently wasn't sincere about the issue for it to take root..

Seshmeister

01-22-2010, 08:21 AM

Wasn't there an old urban legend that he converted to Christianity on his death bed? Or am I remembering incorrectly

Yeah there is a legend but it is untrue.

It wouldn't matter either way because he was a scientist not a prophet. What the creationists fail to realise all the time is that his work was just the start of a huge process.

When Dawkins dies someone somewhere will also claim that he converted on his deathbed. Its got to the point that notable athiests are making a point of releasing press statements on their deathbeds to say that they haven't converted. :)

JJ Hobson

01-22-2010, 08:25 PM

Even more ironic is the fact that they put a Chimp in the White House.

I'd sooner have a "chimp" in the White House, than Barack "Sodomy Hussein" Obama, LOL! ...

Darwin's gotta be laughing at that one, wherever he is.

Umm ... Hell, maybe? ... LOL!

"Jesus Freaks" rock! ... So do Tea Partying "Tea Baggers" -- Not to mention totally unbiased journalists who like to use the phrase "tea baggers", like Chris Matthews--who report while on totally responsible and unbiased cable news networks like (as Rush Limbaugh likes to call one of them) "PMSNBC" ...

P.S. Well, FORD, how did you like the "tea bagging" that Coakley, Obama, the DNC, and the "Demon Crabs"-ic Party got in Massachussetts a few days ago?

P.P.S. I know you won't mind me calling the Democrats by the term "Demon Crabs", since Demon Crabs only induce serious itching and a severe rash in their non-DemonCrabs-ic victims ... Not only that, but I hear the only cure for a DemonCrabs-ic infestation is the newly re-instated wonder drug, DDT, since Demon Crabs are a plague not only on my "system"--but THE whole free world's "system" ... LOL! ... Finally, prepare to be "tea bagged" in 2012, "Sodomy Hussein"--AND the DemonCrabs-ic Party! ... While Saddam Hussein (who was removed from power as Iraqi dictator on Dec. 14th, 2003), needed to be checked for lice, "Sodomy Hussein" (who WILL be removed from power on Nov. 6th, 2012), is a louse! (DemonCrabs-ic Louse, to be exact, LOL!) ...
Also, hope that "Sodomy Hussein's" ouster isn't followed by a trial for war crimes and an execution-by-hanging, like was the case for Saddam Hussein ... And don't whine and moan about that last comment either, DemonCrabs! ... You were calling for George W. Bush to be tried for war crimes for years and years! ...

standin

01-22-2010, 08:30 PM

Coyote

01-23-2010, 08:15 AM

Why do Jesus Freaks Start Drooling When They Talk About The Bible?

Pavlov's dog...

Or maybe they have some S&M sessions behind them that involved the bible.
(Now there's a thought...)

thome

01-23-2010, 10:36 AM

Yeah there is a legend but it is untrue.

It wouldn't matter either way because he was a scientist not a prophet. What the creationists fail to realise all the time is that his work was just the start of a huge process.

When Dawkins dies someone somewhere will also claim that he converted on his deathbed. Its got to the point that notable athiests are making a point of releasing press statements on their deathbeds to say that they haven't converted. :)

All scientists believe in a higher power, they can't talk that way and must skew thier data against that or they don't get funding .

Except those scientists who think vampires are real, they believe in a lower power.

Robert McCall

01-24-2010, 07:42 PM

I would say something about this, but the Irish blasphemy law prevents it.

Seshmeister

01-24-2010, 08:55 PM

According to your new law
"Religion" excludes profit-driven organizations or those using "oppressive psychological manipulation". so evangelists and the catholic church aren't covered...

Robert McCall

01-24-2010, 09:05 PM

According to your new law so evangelists and the catholic church aren't covered...

:biggrin:.