Valerie Bertinelli's Weight War

[ChopperV]

KIRSTIE ALLEY isn't the only curvaceous celebrity cutie creating commercials for Jenny Craig. Former "One Day at a Time" star VALERIE BERTINELLI has joined the cause as she attempts to get back to the weight that is on her California driver's license.

"I drove by the Jenny Craig center so often, I'm like, 'I should do it. Kirstie did it,'" Valerie tells ET's JANN CARL of her involvement with the weight-loss program at a photo shoot for People magazine, on newsstands nationwide Friday. "She did such an amazing job and she's so funny. She made it look like it was fun to do, and I should do it."

As well-intentioned as Valerie was, she resisted actually joining the Jenny Craig program -- even when she got up to a size 14 -- until she got a call.

"My first thought was, 'Why does everyone know that I'm fat?' I never went out, so they can't see I'm fat," explains Valerie, who actually admits she pays to go to the movies to avoid photographers taking photos of her on the red carpet at premieres.

The American sweetheart traces her first difficulties with food back to the days when she first began dating former husband EDDIE VAN HALEN, and was so in love, she only ate tea and toast for breakfast.

"I came back to 'One Day at a Time' super-thin and they were, 'What happened to you?,'" she recalls. "I just lost the weight and then I gained it back and then I lost it again and gained it back. That's been my life basically."

Working with Kirstie on the commercial was a blast for Valerie, who compliments her co-star: "That woman is whip-smart quick. Her brain is always moving, and she's got ideas. I just wanted to keep up with her."

Pic at link: http://www.etonline.com/tv/spotlight/47656/

[ChopperV]

Here's some quotes from Val from over the years:

Ed has a bigger heart than I do. I won't forgive Dave for what he did to the man I love. Ed will. I like revenge, Ed doesn't.

Beautiful? No. That's why I'm doing this role in I'll Take Manhattan. I was getting the feeling that people didn't think I was pretty any longer.

Ed is very sexy because his emotions are really there-not forced.

Everybody complains that people are so flaky in LA. I'd rather be flaky than mean.

For a man to say I love you, crying, it's like, God, it was really sweet.

I didn't know how to wear a tampon, and I thought that if I wasn't a virgin, maybe they'd fit better.

I do think Ed smokes too many cigarettes, and he does drink too much sometimes.

I don't know all of the misconceptions that are out there. I try not to listen.

I don't think I was quite aware of what was really going on in my life.

I think Dave was jealous that Ed had fallen in love and was happy. Dave tended to keep Ed in a miserable place and liked him there because he could control him that way.

I think I'm a much better person inside than I used to be.

I'd like to have four kids. Ed says he wants a full band.

I'm a good girl. I am, pretty much.

I'm just not a confident person.

I'm not going to tell these actresses they stink.

I'm the kind of person who clams up and holds it all inside; he's the type who gets it out and says what he feels. He's brutally honest.

I've asked him to leave, but he says, Absolutely not. You're stuck with me. So there.

In TV, people do take me seriously. They know they're going to get good numbers. I just have to say, Give me this, and they'll practically do it.

It's a lot more fun in bed if you have something on. It's sexier to have to get around the clothes.

My eyes aren't special, my nose isn't special, my mouth isn't special.

Out-and-out nudity, I'm too uncomfortable doing it, and I don't think you need it.

Professionally, I have no major goals. That's partly because I'm really flaky. I want things, but I don't go after them. I'd rather they be placed in my lap.

The only things I really love about myself physically are my ankles and my hair.

Valerie Van Halen is such a pretty name. All my credit cards, my driver's license, everything has Van Halen on it.

We didn't go to bed together till a month after we met. He wouldn't let me go to bed with him. I had wanted to, but he'd say, No. I want to know who you are first.

When Ed became happy and more independent, Dave couldn't control him anymore. Dave likes control.

When he told me he loved me, his defenses were down and I took advantage of him.

When I'm happy with myself, he's happiest. But he likes me... firm.

When I got too heavy, he would say, Honey, lose weight. Then when I got too thin, he said, I don't like making love with you, you've got to gain some weight.


More here: (not too interesting) http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/v/valerieber347493.html

[Matt White]

She's still hot......

[ChopperV]

She apparently wants to lose about 45 pounds. Not too severe!

[Ally_Kat]

The shirts she's wearing aren't helping her cause. Those kind of shirts make anyone who is wearing them look bigger than they are.

[Take 'Em]

Originally posted by ChopperV
She apparently wants to lose about 45 pounds. Not too severe!

I can assist her with the "all protein diet" anytime..........

[chi-town324]

still looks good

[BigBadBrian]

Originally posted by chi-town324
still looks good

Yeah, if you like Plumpers.

http://www.etonline.com/photo/2007/04/19135/280_vbertinelli_jcarl_070403_et.jpg

[bueno bob]

Eddie Van Halen, frankly, NEEDS to be fucking controlled.

What happens when Dave doesn't control Eddie?

5150...OU812...FUCK...etc etc...

Game over!

[EAT MY ASSHOLE]

Originally posted by bueno bob
Eddie Van Halen, frankly, NEEDS to be fucking controlled.

What happens when Dave doesn't control Eddie?

5150...OU812...FUCK...etc etc...

Game over!

You forgot to mention hardcore meth abuse, alcoholism, and gary cherone.

[binnie]

So Ed drank all the booze, and Val ate all the pies.

Marital bliss.

[VanHalener]

Originally posted by Matt White
She's still hot......

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FGyOo6ppTYM"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FGyOo6ppTYM" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

[Dan]

Originally posted by binnie
Val ate all of the pies.

I would like to eat her Hair Pie.:D

[Seshmeister]

Originally posted by ChopperV
Here's some quotes from Val from over the years:

Ed has a bigger heart than I do. I won't forgive Dave for what he did to the man I love. Ed will. I like revenge, Ed doesn't.

Beautiful? No. That's why I'm doing this role in I'll Take Manhattan. I was getting the feeling that people didn't think I was pretty any longer.

Ed is very sexy because his emotions are really there-not forced.

Everybody complains that people are so flaky in LA. I'd rather be flaky than mean.

For a man to say I love you, crying, it's like, God, it was really sweet.

I didn't know how to wear a tampon, and I thought that if I wasn't a virgin, maybe they'd fit better.

I do think Ed smokes too many cigarettes, and he does drink too much sometimes.

I don't know all of the misconceptions that are out there. I try not to listen.

I don't think I was quite aware of what was really going on in my life.

I think Dave was jealous that Ed had fallen in love and was happy. Dave tended to keep Ed in a miserable place and liked him there because he could control him that way.

I think I'm a much better person inside than I used to be.

I'd like to have four kids. Ed says he wants a full band.

I'm a good girl. I am, pretty much.

I'm just not a confident person.

I'm not going to tell these actresses they stink.

I'm the kind of person who clams up and holds it all inside; he's the type who gets it out and says what he feels. He's brutally honest.

I've asked him to leave, but he says, Absolutely not. You're stuck with me. So there.

In TV, people do take me seriously. They know they're going to get good numbers. I just have to say, Give me this, and they'll practically do it.

It's a lot more fun in bed if you have something on. It's sexier to have to get around the clothes.

My eyes aren't special, my nose isn't special, my mouth isn't special.

Out-and-out nudity, I'm too uncomfortable doing it, and I don't think you need it.

Professionally, I have no major goals. That's partly because I'm really flaky. I want things, but I don't go after them. I'd rather they be placed in my lap.

The only things I really love about myself physically are my ankles and my hair.

Valerie Van Halen is such a pretty name. All my credit cards, my driver's license, everything has Van Halen on it.

We didn't go to bed together till a month after we met. He wouldn't let me go to bed with him. I had wanted to, but he'd say, No. I want to know who you are first.

When Ed became happy and more independent, Dave couldn't control him anymore. Dave likes control.

When he told me he loved me, his defenses were down and I took advantage of him.

When I'm happy with myself, he's happiest. But he likes me... firm.

When I got too heavy, he would say, Honey, lose weight. Then when I got too thin, he said, I don't like making love with you, you've got to gain some weight.


More here: (not too interesting) http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/v/valerieber347493.html

Great post.

I've always thought she was a pointless dumb bimbo.

[EAT MY ASSHOLE]

I disagree. Valerie might not be any sort of intellectual firecracker, but she was always honest, straightforward but tactful, and even now stands by her (ex)husband.

It would be SO easy for her to sell her story to the tabloids ("My Husband Is a Meth Addict!!!", "Edward Endangers Our Child!!!", etc).

We should all be so lucky to find a woman like her.

[Terry]

And why exactly does Valerie feel the need to publicly declare she's losing weight?

Tubby has-been can't get any more work, rings up ex Cheers star / fat attention whore, who tells her she can have a wonderful career as a Jenny Craig spokesperson in lieu of actually acting for a living.

Yawn.

[ThrillsNSpills]

Why doesn't her boyfriend bang her down to a size 5?

[chi-town324]

Originally posted by Terry
And why exactly does Valerie feel the need to publicly declare she's losing weight?

Tubby has-been can't get any more work, rings up ex Cheers star / fat attention whore, who tells her she can have a wonderful career as a Jenny Craig spokesperson in lieu of actually acting for a living.

Yawn. Its all about the money