The Sheep Pen Reviews: GRINDHOUSE

[bueno bob]

It was a rather bleak, rainy afternoon this past Monday. The kids were at school - the wife was at work - the dog was asleep - the house was all to myself. Rather than doing the sensible, American thing to do (which is, of course, have an affair with a 19 year old girl and call it the early onset of midlife crisis), I decided to do the lame thing and go see a movie.

But what to see?

Proceeding to the nearest overpriced Movie Theater Megaplex, I plunked down $8.50 for my ticket and an additional $13.00 for popcorn and a drink, and proceeded happily to the theater showing the only movie which really resonated within me as I was deciding what to see.

That movie was GRINDHOUSE.

Now, having come from a love of movies in the late '70's and early '80's (and being able to get away with more than what my parents suspected in my viewing habits), the notion of shlock, off-Hollywood B-grade horror/exploitation films remain some of my fondest memories. In truth, I used to have a collection of movie ads from the early '60's to mid '70's of upcoming drive in films in my old hometown - "hits" from the golden age of exploitation and the sort. Basically, exploitation films were (and are, still) right up my alley.

The bonus? I've actually been lucky enough to have experienced the original grindhouse double feature of B movie crap in the afternoon - at my age, it's a rare treat to be able to say that I lucked out enough to get in on the end of that era. Needless to say, "Grindhouse" promised a trip down memory lane to a now sadly bygone era - after all, what fun is an exploitation film if you don't leave feeling just a little dirty for having just paid to watch it?

Anyway - on with the review.

As most people know by now, "Grindhouse" is split up into two full length feature films and features (fake) coming attractions of similarly themed exploitation/horror films, along with concession stand adverts back and forth. In regards to the "PREVUES OF COMING ATTRACTIONS" (5 bonus points if you know WHY I didn't spell "Prevue" correctly), if you don't find yourself wishing that either Quentin Tarantino or Robert Rodriguez (the power behind the scenes of Grindhouse) make "Machete", "Thanksgiving" and "Don't!" into full length movies, there's probably something wrong with you. Additionally, if you don't cringe in absolute PAIN when you experience the trampoline scene in the "Thanksgiving" preview you're simply not human (and I say "experience" the scene, because...well...you just can't WATCH it alone...you'll see...).

The feeling that you've stepped back in time 35 years (or more) stays with you throughout the whole of the three hour plus feature. The first installment, "Planet Terror", is basically your average zombie story. Military experiment gone awry, people become infected with pulsating sores, degrading into flesh and gut eating zombies. A rag tag group of survivors (leading the way an eventually legless Rose McGowan and her boyfriend Freddy Rodriguez) try to escape the horde of mutated humans preying on them. The cast itself is spectacular - Jeff Fahey puts in a remarkable performance, as does Josh Brolin and Michael Biehn. The script is remarkably bad AND good - something usually achieved by accident, and not often reached intentionally, as is the case here. Even Fergie manages to come across as a believable enough character, although her screen time is a bit limited.

Does it all make sense? Fuck no, but it doesn't have to, either. It's a grindhouse B movie, and it is what it is - and it is brilliant in doing so.

After an intermission (and previews of "Thanksgiving" and "Don't!"), we move into the "madman behind the wheel terrorizing girls" fare of "Death Proof" (or is it "Thunderbolt"? You take your pick - and this is, of course, another tip of the hat to the old B movie, ehhh, 'repackaging' experience...). Although "Death Proof" basically showcases the girls in question (Rose McGowan (again), Rosario Dawson, Sydney Poitier, Zoe Bell and the rest), THE UNQUESTIONABLE attraction of "Death Proof" is the maniac Stuntman Mike (brilliantly played by Kurt Russell in one of his best on screen offerings in recent memory).

Anyway, "Death Proof" tells the tale of Stuntman Mike, who seems like an easy going enough fellow - until he gets behind the wheel of his souped up, death proof road machine and terrorizes the living shit out of girls he stalks, finally killing them in the end. Any wreck, he can survive it - the car, of course, is death proof. Take a brick wall at 200 miles per hour, just for the experience. What "Death Proof" aspires to is re-telling the tale of road vengeance and girls getting revenge upon their tormentors - it succeeds brilliantly in all aspects.

You will notice, as I did, that "Death Proof" is essentially a 30 minute movie wrapped up in an hour and a half of pointless dialogue and run-on scenes that seem to go essentially nowhere after a while. This, too, is intentional - if you've seen a B grade film such as, well, any that "Death Proof" aspires to be, you're well aware that they're essentially short films with a lot of irrelevant shit thrown around to extend the playing time. Sounds stupid, but it was truth. Brilliantly shot and brilliantly acted - again, Kurt Russell is the real winner here and he should be extremely proud of himself.

All in all? If you've got a taste for gore, an appreciation for the source material from which it draws and can handle keeping your ass in the seat for 3+ hours, Grindhouse is exactly what you're looking for. And if you were ever curious about the experience of the Saturday afternoon to burn and only one theater on the bad side of town cranking endlessly away, this will put you right there. The film is choppy, burned, scratches and skips, just like it should...

...and beware of missing reels... :D

All in all? Bueno Bob gives this bitch an "A" for fucking "A"wesome. Now get your asses out there and give Robert and Quentin the mother fucking respect they rightfully deserve!

[bueno bob]

27,000 bitch!!!

[Dan]

Originally posted by bueno bob
27,000 bitch!!!

Great Review and have a Beer or two for reaching 27,000 posts.:)

[bueno bob]

Ha ha!

[Dan]

Originally posted by bueno bob
Ha ha!

Out of Beer?

[bueno bob]

At work, unfortunately...plenty of beer here, I just can't drink any...

[Dan]

Originally posted by bueno bob
At work, unfortunately...plenty of beer here, I just can't drink any...

OK,Just have a strong Coffee then.

[bueno bob]

That'll do...that's actually funny, I just went to get some coffee...

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by bueno bob
that's actually funny

Ha ha ha!

Cheers! :bottle:

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
Ha ha ha!

Cheers! :bottle:

You know, I'm guessing you were the killer in the "Thanksgiving" trailer. Don't know why, but it just seemed like the sort of work you'd be involved in.

[Anonymous]

Why? What have you been hearing? Who told you about it?

You do realize that too much knowledge can be hazardous to your health.

Just ask JFK and the Pope. Oh right, you can't, they're DEAD!

Not that I'm admitting anything, mind you. Anyways, you can't link me to any of it. :mad:

Cheers! :bottle:

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
Why? What have you been hearing? Who told you about it?

You do realize that too much knowledge can be hazardous to your health.

Just ask JFK and the Pope. Oh right, you can't, they're DEAD!

Not that I'm admitting anything, mind you. Anyways, you can't link me to any of it. :mad:

Cheers! :bottle:

You're probably right. On the upside of things, I ate beans for dinner and have been extremely flatulent all night long. The good part of that is that it's going to annoy the hell out of the morning shift once they get into the office.

[The_KiD]

Excellent review BOB.. I am hoping to get to the theatre this weekend..

KiD

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by The_KiD
Excellent review BOB.. I am hoping to get to the theatre this weekend..

KiD

It's well worth the trip, trust me...

Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by bueno bob
You're probably right. On the upside of things, I ate beans for dinner and have been extremely flatulent all night long. The good part of that is that it's going to annoy the hell out of the morning shift once they get into the office.

Farts in the dark... a mischief in the night...

I'll pay 5 bucks for a video of 'em arriving to work.

Cheers! :bottle:

[bueno bob]

I'll see what I can do...

:D

[Matt White]

I'm sure I'll see it soon..........

Good review...

[bueno bob]

You will love it, trust me...Quentin and Robert rarely disappoint, and together they're fucking MAGNIFICENT...

[bueno bob]

Well...truth be told, I'd encourage anybody to see anything in order to get Will Farrells latest gayfest out of theaters...talentless mother fucker keeps making the same stupid fucking movie over and over again...

[Vinnie Velvet]

I watched it last Sunday -- and let me tell you -- It was fucking GREAT!

Much like Bob, I am a big fan of the old exploitation flicks of the 70s. Unfortunately, I was too young to actually go to a grindhouse double feature. Most of the movies of that era I eventually saw on VHS in the 80s. Lots of zombie flicks, women in prison movies, etc. What I loved most about these movies is that they didn't take themselves seriously and it was all about having fun watching all kinds of shit.

Which leads me to the Rodrieguez-Tarantino double feature of Planet Terror and Death Proof.

The cast is amazing: we got sexy Rose McGowen (who I've always wanted to fuck since I first saw her in 1996's Scream), Freddy Rodreiguez, hot-ass Marley Shelton, Jordan Ladd (Charile's Angel Cheryl Ladd's daughter), and on and on.

Planet Terror was a fucking blast. Loved the music and the performances were at their B-grade best (but even then, there was some great characterization here -- Cherry and El Wray's relationship, etc.)

The fake trailers were even better -- Eli Roth's "Thanksgiving" being the best of the three. If you've seen some of the old slasher trailers of the late 70s and early 80s (Halloween, Mother's Day, the first Friday the 13th), that's pretty much what Thanksgiving is -- only funnier and more GORE and sick shit.

Then came Quentin's 'Death Proof'. This one had a very slow build-up, lots of dialogue, which wasn't uncommon in a 70s-style exploitation flick, but after Planet Terror, things just felt kinda slow.

But the end car chase scene and the way Stuntman Mike does away with some of his victims (with his car of course) is worth the admission! Fucking great.

-----------------------

Box office intake for Grindhouse was WAY below expectations this past weekend (12 miilion).

It deserves so much more. What the fuck is wrong with American moviegoers?? They'd rather see shit like that stupid gay figure skating movie that tries to be funny?? WTF??

GO SEE GRINDHOUSE -- it isn't just two movies, its an EXPERIENCE!

[Vinnie Velvet]

She alone will make you wanna see GRINDHOUSE -- if not, YOU'RE FUCKING GAY!

http://images.askmen.com/galleries/actress/rose-mcgowan/pictures/rose-mcgowan-picture-1.jpg

[Vinnie Velvet]

Planet Terror
http://www.fangasm.com/grind-house-pics/planet-terror-01.jpg

[bueno bob]

I'll tell you what's wrong with American audiences - they're composed of teenage movie goers, the only fucking people who can AFFORD to go to a movie on a regular basis anymore (lack of responsibilities = plenty of spending cash), and the average teenager in America would rather watch Will Farrell act like the same fucking goon he always does in film after film than s/he woud indulge itself in a little appreciation of cinematic history.

And make no mistake about it, B grade exploitation IS cinematic history, period. Without it, horror as it's known today wouldn't exist. "I Spit on Your Grave", "The Hills Have Eyes", "Last House on the Left", "Halloween"...those were instrumental in shaping the horror films of the '80's, and their influence was everything that late '60's exploitation/B horror was about.

Kids are the main movie goers these days - they want something dumbed down, something watered down - something safe. I guess the 3+ hour dragout is a turnoff for some of them, and the fact that it's choppy and "retro" isn't as cool as "Fags On Ice" or whatever Will's latest shitfest is...basically, they want the same thing out of their movies that they do out of their music - safety, and I guess Will Farrell's 35 movies where he plays the same fucking character as he always does offers it...

:rolleyes:

I don't get it, either.

[Vinnie Velvet]

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/87/211859932_1f6f4b21dd.jpg?v=0

[Vinnie Velvet]

Originally posted by bueno bob
I'll tell you what's wrong with American audiences - they're composed of teenage movie goers, the only fucking people who can AFFORD to go to a movie on a regular basis anymore (lack of responsibilities = plenty of spending cash), and the average teenager in America would rather watch Will Farrell act like the same fucking goon he always does in film after film than s/he woud indulge itself in a little appreciation of cinematic history.

And make no mistake about it, B grade exploitation IS cinematic history, period. Without it, horror as it's known today wouldn't exist. "I Spit on Your Grave", "The Hills Have Eyes", "Last House on the Left", "Halloween"...those were instrumental in shaping the horror films of the '80's, and their influence was everything that late '60's exploitation/B horror was about.

Kids are the main movie goers these days - they want something dumbed down, something watered down - something safe. I guess the 3+ hour dragout is a turnoff for some of them, and the fact that it's choppy and "retro" isn't as cool as "Fags On Ice" or whatever Will's latest shitfest is...basically, they want the same thing out of their movies that they do out of their music - safety, and I guess Will Farrell's 35 movies where he plays the same fucking character as he always does offers it...

:rolleyes:

I don't get it, either.

I hear ya.

I guess maybe the strong R-rating didn't help (since under 18 can't go to see it, even with a parent).

Then again, there young college going demographic (18-24) should have gone to see it.

The minute I saw the trailer I was like, "Finally! A movie (or movies) that I want to see!" I was so stoked to see it and when I did, it was such a treat.

I guess kids these days with their suped-up video games (and of course the Internet) don't get all excited for some movies anymore.

[Vinnie Velvet]

SUCK ON THIS, WILL FERREL!!
http://www.moviesonline.ca/movie-gallery/albums/GrindHouse/grindhouse-2.jpg

[Vinnie Velvet]

http://www.filmdeculte.com/photo/news/grindhouse/deathproof.jpg

[Vinnie Velvet]

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/135/329465673_41602846da_o.jpg

[Vinnie Velvet]

http://www.lacoctelera.com/myfiles/leemarvin/dp7l.jpg

[Vinnie Velvet]

http://www.laist.com/attachments/la_elina/grindhouseposter.jpg

[Vinnie Velvet]

http://www.firstshowing.net/img/grindhouse-ft-5.jpg

[Vinnie Velvet]

http://media.monstersandcritics.com/articles/1284215/article_images/grindhousepic11.jpg

[Vinnie Velvet]

http://images.meevee.com/portal/drupal_dev/grindhouse%20gun%20leg%20full.jpg

[Vinnie Velvet]

http://www.cinemablend.com/images/news_img/4842/4842.jpg

[bueno bob]

Awesome catches, Vin!

Wish you'd lived in my neck of the woods back in the day, there was a little theater out in the middle of nowhere that was still runnin' 'em into the early '90's...

[Vinnie Velvet]

Originally posted by bueno bob
Awesome catches, Vin!

Wish you'd lived in my neck of the woods back in the day, there was a little theater out in the middle of nowhere that was still runnin' 'em into the early '90's...

Cool, man.

We may be in the minority, but I just loved the whole Grindhouse experience. And to me, that's what it was, moreso than two movies. With the faux trailers and the retro 'grindhouse' intros, I loved the whole package!

I hear that the Weinstiens are thinking of re-releasing it as two separate movies and including the "missing reel" footage. They were pretty disapointed at the box office intake.

[bueno bob]

I thought for sure it'd debut at #1...I guess it's a hard sell with today's teens...

Oh well...

Well, if nothing else, it's done a hell of a lot better than most B movies ever do... :lol:

[Jimmy Jingles]

Awesome flick!

Saw it over the weekend with my titties bitch and it rocked. I do agree that some of the dialog in Death Proof dragged on in some places, but it was still a great movie.

Would love to see Eli Roth actually make 'Thanksgiving' into a full feature length film.

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by Jimmy Jingles
Awesome flick!

Saw it over the weekend with my titties bitch and it rocked. I do agree that some of the dialog in Death Proof dragged on in some places, but it was still a great movie.

Would love to see Eli Roth actually make 'Thanksgiving' into a full feature length film.

I'm also intrigued by the concept of "Don't!"...I think there's potential with that as well...

Anybody wanna weigh in on Rob Zombie's trailer for the new "Halloween" movie?

[Jimmy Jingles]

Originally posted by bueno bob
I'm also intrigued by the concept of "Don't!"...I think there's potential with that as well...

Anybody wanna weigh in on Rob Zombie's trailer for the new "Halloween" movie?



Torn on that one...


On one hand, I like Rob Zombie as a filmmaker.

On the other, 'Halloween' is one of my all time favs and I don't like the idea of it being fucked with.

But it looks interesting and I'm sure I will be there on opening day.

[Vinnie Velvet]

Originally posted by bueno bob
I'm also intrigued by the concept of "Don't!"...I think there's potential with that as well...

Anybody wanna weigh in on Rob Zombie's trailer for the new "Halloween" movie?

I thought it was pretty good, and this is coming from a fan of the original (who isn't?)

There was one shot where I thought it was lit up way too much ---- not dark enough, like it was something from an MTV movie or something.

Overall, I thought it looked good. I will be seeing that one in August for sure.

What I read about it (and from what we saw from the trailer), we get to see more of the backstory of Micheal Myers and the muders he committed as a kid before being sent off to an asylum. I think that was pretty cool of Zombie to do.

[Vinnie Velvet]

Originally posted by bueno bob
Well, if nothing else, it's done a hell of a lot better than most B movies ever do... :lol:

You got that right! :D

I can't believe how some people didn't get the "double feature" concept.

What is there not to get?? You get TWO movies! It was crystal clear in the marketing, yet there were still people who started leaving after Planet Terror (from what I read).

:rolleyes:

[Isaac R.]

Originally posted by Vinnie Velvet
http://www.moviesonline.ca/movie-gallery/albums/GrindHouse/grindhouse-2.jpg

Awesome shot there.

No way I'm waiting for the dvd with this fucker....definitely seems to be one to catch in a real live Movie Theatre;)

[Redballjets88]

No one has metioned Werewolf Babes of the S.S. featuring Nicholas Cage



that was an awesome part i laughed my ass off!

[bueno bob]

I...wasn't quite sure what to make of that...

I'm still not...lmao

[bueno bob]

Well, fuck it...the DMs would love it...

:D

[hankster]

Originally posted by bueno bob
You know, I'm guessing you were the killer in the "Thanksgiving" trailer. Don't know why, but it just seemed like the sort of work you'd be involved in.

bueno bob is the KING, by the way, GrindHouse was great if you lived in the 70's and were into that kind of stuff, Quentin Tarantino is the shit

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by hankster
bueno bob is the KING, by the way, GrindHouse was great if you lived in the 70's and were into that kind of stuff, Quentin Tarantino is the shit

Send the check to:

Bueno Bob
Sheep Pen Inc.
Roth Army Forums
Portland, OR. 97201

Thanks again.

[hankster]

LOL, it's in the mail, do I become a member of the Sheep Pen elite with a generous donation?:D

[Unchainme]

Gah! I gotta see it now...I saw the preview before "300" (God...That movie kicked ass!)..I dig 70's Flicks..So this seems good..

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by hankster
LOL, it's in the mail, do I become a member of the Sheep Pen elite with a generous donation?:D

Well, at the very least we won't fuck up your threads... :D

[hankster]

Originally posted by Vinnie Velvet
Planet Terror
http://www.fangasm.com/grind-house-pics/planet-terror-01.jpg

Never saw a better looking group of women, and the bike is nice too

[hankster]

Originally posted by Vinnie Velvet
She alone will make you wanna see GRINDHOUSE -- if not, YOU'RE FUCKING GAY!

http://images.askmen.com/galleries/actress/rose-mcgowan/pictures/rose-mcgowan-picture-1.jpg

I printed this pic and spunked all over it, she is as gorgeous as it gets

[Coyote]

At least you guys get to see it like Tarantino/Rodriguez wanted.

It's gonna be split up into two movies outside the US, apparently.



Fuckin' cunts. That's compromising the director's vision.

[bueno bob]

Yeah, that's a bunch of shit. I really don't understand why people aren't "getting it"...no respect for the source material, I tell ya...

[Coyote]

And possible culture-misunderstanding.

[hankster]

Originally posted by bueno bob
Yeah, that's a bunch of shit. I really don't understand why people aren't "getting it"...no respect for the source material, I tell ya...

They are saying it is because people don't want to sit in movie theaters for three and a half hrs, I say hell with all the money I pay to go in the first place, it's nice to get a two for one if you will. I think it is just the genre of people that are going to see it aren't getting the premise

[Vinnie Velvet]

Grindhouse fell even lower in its second week, down to tenth place I think (fuck, I think it even fell behind Wild Hogs, wtf!!).

I could care less, however, its disapointing when regular American audiences didn't "get it".

I loved the movies and the whole experience.

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by hankster
They are saying it is because people don't want to sit in movie theaters for three and a half hrs, I say hell with all the money I pay to go in the first place, it's nice to get a two for one if you will. I think it is just the genre of people that are going to see it aren't getting the premise

When you look at what's making money this weekend, it's pretty much dominated by big and stupid:

Disturbia, Blades of Glory, Are We Done Yet, Meet the Robinsons, The Reaping, etc etc...short of Grindhouse, the ONLY thing in the top 10 that would even remotely interest me is Pathfinder. Everything else is either teen shit, family movies, or check your brain at the door...

Most of the movie goers are mid teens to mid 20s, I guess they're just too young to get the concept of B horror...

Fuck it - I had a grate experience with it, and that's all that matters. Would have been nice to see Quentin and Bob get their money out of it though...hope it will overseas, but splitting them up into separate movies is a BAD idea...

[Bill Lumbergh]

Thank fuck there are others who find Ferrell unfunny....I swear to God my best friend just about shits his pants every time he does that annoying(and unfunny) yelling thing, or anytime he's running around in his underwear.....