Ozzy Fudd
09-15-2007, 08:50 PM
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which
One can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him
Without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
Person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for
Anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble
Down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
Hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
Attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred
dollars And a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now
The world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007: We know exactly where one cow with
Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in
America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal
Immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the
Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which
One can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him
Without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
Person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for
Anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble
Down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
Hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
Attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred
dollars And a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now
The world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007: We know exactly where one cow with
Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in
America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal
Immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the
Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.