PDA

View Full Version : English Final..On Van Halen



Redballjets88
12-07-2007, 02:46 AM
So my English Composition class has a final paper due, and amazingly enough my teacher allowed me to write it on the history of Van Halen with dave. Here's my first draft, it may be in need of some editing but remember i just wrote and it is a rough draft.

Three years ago when my parents asked me what I wanted for Christmas I said that I wanted a few CDs. On Christmas morning I opened up a few random presents and nothing really memorable, and then I opened up a present that would go on to change my life. I received a copy of Van Halen I. From the second I put it into the stereo I was hooked. Van Halen has since become my favorite band and has influenced my entire taste in music.
The four original members of Van Halen have very different backgrounds. Eddie and Alex Van Halen were both born in Denmark into a family of musicians. At a very young age both of them were exposed to music and were well versed in various forms of the art. They moved to California in their childhood and continued to play music. At first Alex played guitar and Eddie was a drummer, but after awhile the two switched because Alex liked playing drums more and Eddie was more attracted to the guitar.( http://www.valleywebs.com/van-halen/) After a few years the two started a band with Alex on drums and Eddie handling guitar and lead vocals. When the load got to big for Eddie to handle they brought in David Lee Roth to be the front-man. David Lee Roth was born in Bloomington, Indiana, the son of Dr. Nathan Roth. (http://www.davidleeroth.com/bio) As a youth he would frequent his uncle Manny Roths’ bar and nightclub Café Wha?. This is where he got most of his influence, being exposed to acts such as Jimi Hendrix and Bob Dylan. The final member of Van Halen was Michael Anthony was born in Chicago Illinois. He later moved to California and formed a short lived band known as Snake. He joined Van Halen after the original bassist, Mark Stone, quit. Van Halen started out playing back yard parties and local venues. After a couple of years they moved up to playing Los Angeles venues such as the Starwood and Whiskey A Go-Go (http://www.classicvanhalen.com/bios.shtml). In 1976 Gene Simmons from KISS saw Van Halen play and let them record a demo, but the sessions did not go well and the sound quality was not very good. In 1977 Warner producer Ted Templeman went to a Van Halen show and immediately invited them to the recording studio. After the demo was recorded Van Halen was signed to Warner and the legend was born.
In 1978 Van Halens’ debut album came out. Van Halen I was and still is one of the most dynamic records of all time. With original songs such as Runnin’ With the Devil, Jamie’s Cryin’, and Feel Your Love Tonight, along with covers like You Really Got Me and The Ice Cream Man. From the opening note people knew that Eddie Van Halen was something they have never heard before, and by the time they had listened to Eruption fans realized that they had discovered a new guitar god. Over the next four years Eddie would go on to win three guitarist of the year awards. Along with the guitar virtuosity of Eddie, Dave added a flare and energy to the music that had never been seen before. The overall sound of Van Halen I was non stop fast paced and ‘in your face’. On their first tour Van Halen was the opening act for Black Sabbath on Black Sabbath’s 10 year anniversary tour. It has been said that Van Halen repeatedly stole the show night after night.( http://www.valleywebs.com/van-halen) Within ten months of Van Halen I’s release the album went platinum. Van Halen has sold over 10 million albums to date.
From 1979 to 1982 Van Halen released four more albums. These albums were; Van Halen II, Women and Children First, Fair Warning, and Diver Down. Van Halen II was written and recorded in a matter of two months. It also went platinum within months. With hits such as ‘Dance the Night Away’ and ‘Somebody Get Me a Doctor’. In 1980 Van Halen released Women and Children First. Women and Children First was critically acclaimed and sold over two million copies. When 1981 rolled around Van Halen released fair Warning. This album, to many critics, is considered Eddies album. The album is extremely guitar driven and darker than the other albums. Also in 1981 Van Halen played their legendary Oakland ’81 show. This is one of the few shows that footage was shot at. Diver Down was released in 1982. This is considered to be Dave’s album. It is a very upbeat album and a bit more poppy than the other albums while still keeping its’ edge. In 1982 Van Halen set a record for being paid one million dollars to play at the US Festival. They headlined the venue that also had the biggest rock acts of the time. Van Halen also released its first music video. The video was for the song ‘Pretty Woman’ but the video was banned by MTV due to the presence of a transsexual man at the end of the video. The 1979 to 1982 time period is when Van Halen solidified their place in mainstream rock music. Their next album is what would vault them into the pantheon of rock legends.
In 1984 the most momentous album of Van Halen history came out. 1984, or MCMLXXXIV as it was written on the record, was the bands most popular release, and gave the band its first number one hit in Jump. Along with the hugely successful ‘Jump’ songs such as ‘Hot for Teacher’, ‘Panama’, and ‘I’ll Wait’, 1984 was a smash hit for Van Halen. Each of these songs was commercially successful and was on the top Billboard Top 100 List. (http://www.classicvanhalen.com/). Some fans were slightly upset with the album because of the use of synthesizers. They felt that the song was too mainstream and did not fit the normal Van Halen sound. At this point Van Halen was on top of its game and could not be drug down. They were arguably the biggest band on the face of the earth.
In early 1985 David Lee Roth recorded his first solo album called Crazy from the Heat. The album was four songs long and was all cover songs. Many felt that Dave was trying to break away from his band, while other felt that he was just doing his own thing and being himself. Dave was in talks to also star in a movie (www.rollingstone.com). From this point on break-up rumors began to swirl. When the recording of their seventh album happened is when the band did too. Dave left the band to pursue a solo career. Sammy Hagar was brought in to replace Dave. Sammy Hagar began in music in the 1970’s as the lead singer and rhythm guitarist of Montrose. His next move was to a solo career. He had some success with a few catchy but bland hits. He finally got famous in 1985 when he joined Van Halen (www.vh1.com). Van Halen went on with Hagar and had success, but the style of music greatly suffered and many long-time Van Halen fans did not like the new music. Dave went on to have a good solo career and his first four albums went platinum. Eat Em’ and Smile had hits such as ‘Yankee Rose’ and ‘That’s Life’. His next album, Skyscraper, had ‘Just Like Paradise’. Dave could never recapture the magic that the had with Van Halen though.
Last week my dreams came true. I ordered a ticket to go see Van Halen live with David Lee Roth once again and the helm. This is the first tour since 1984 that Eddie, Alex, and Dave have been on stage with one another. On January 26th, 2008 in American Airline Center, in section 112 row S, I will be having the greatest day of my life. For twenty-three years Van Halen fans all of the world have been waiting for this day, just as I have. I have hope and faith, and as David Lee Roth said, “…those are a lot more than the names of a couple of strippers from Albuquerque” (www.rotharmy.com/quotes)

Susie Q
12-07-2007, 02:51 AM
VERY good RBJ! I like how the army got a plug at the end too. :)

You must have some cool parents to give you the gift of real music. :D

Good Christ, they prolly are my age! :o

Redballjets88
12-07-2007, 02:56 AM
Originally posted by Susie Q
VERY good RBJ! I like how the army got a plug at the end too. :)

You must have some cool parents to give you the gift of real music. :D

Good Christ, they prolly are my age! :o

haha yeah, they may regret it because they weren't too thrilled with my van halen tattoo.

binnie
12-07-2007, 03:00 AM
It's cool that your teacher let you write on CVH!!

I like the way that you open up the essay with the personal angel, nice...

Redballjets88
12-07-2007, 03:01 AM
Originally posted by binnie
It's cool that your teacher let you write on CVH!!

I like the way that you open up the essay with the personal angel, nice...

yeah, when i asked her about it she said yes, then she told me about how she was upset when dave left the band. So ill get a good grade just because she is CVH fan

binnie
12-07-2007, 08:03 AM
Originally posted by Redballjets88
So ill get a good grade just because she is CVH fan

Is she hot?

If so, can you see where I'm going with this :D

"Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad..."

Redballjets88
12-07-2007, 10:13 AM
Originally posted by binnie
Is she hot?

If so, can you see where I'm going with this :D

"Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad..."

haha not even a little bit.

Jim Shetterlini
12-07-2007, 11:29 AM
I believe it was Holland that the boys were born and lived the first few years of their life. But other than that a great job and I am as glad for you as I am for my boys that you were introduced to real music instead of what is out there today. Congrats and good luck!

Jim Shetterlini
12-07-2007, 11:29 AM
Dupe!

Hyman Roth
12-07-2007, 11:59 AM
http://e.photos.cx/goldmember-72b.jpg

You look very toit. Yesh, toit like a toiger. Yesh Yesh Yesh.

knuckleboner
12-07-2007, 12:25 PM
good work! i'm normally not a grammar nazi, but seeing as how this is for your class, i thought i'd pitch in with a few minor modifications...

also, i didn't note it, but you need a consistent format with the song titles. you start by just capitalizing them (Panama) and finish by using the single quotation marks ('Girl Gone Bad'.)

content wise, though, nicely done.





Originally posted by Redballjets88



When the load got to should be "too" big for Eddie to handle they brought in David Lee Roth to be the front-man.



As a youth he would frequent his uncle Manny Roths’ should be "Roth's" bar and nightclub Café Wha?.


The final member of Van Halen was Michael Anthony should add "who" was born in Chicago Illinois.


Van Halen I was and still is one of the most dynamic records of all time should combine with following sentence (which is a fragment) into one sentence, "With" should be ", with" original songs such as Runnin’ With the Devil, Jamie’s Cryin’, and Feel Your Love Tonight, along with covers like You Really Got Me and The Ice Cream Man.


From the opening note people knew that Eddie Van Halen was something they have should be "had" never heard before, and by the time they had listened to Eruption fans realized that they had discovered a new guitar god.



From 1979 to 1982 Van Halen released four more albums. These albums were; should be a full colon, ":" Van Halen II, Women and Children First, Fair Warning, and Diver Down.



When 1981 rolled around Van Halen released fair should be "Fair" Warning.


This album, to many critics, is considered Eddies should be "Eddie's" album.


It is a very upbeat album and a bit more poppy than the other albums while still keeping its’ should be "its" edge.


In 1984 the most momentous album of Van Halen history came out. 1984, or MCMLXXXIV as it was written on the record, was the bands should be "band's" most popular release, and gave the band its first number one hit in Jump.




From this point on break-up rumors began to swirl. When the recording of their seventh album happened is when the band did too i think i see where you're going with this one, and it's a good concept, but it's a bit awkward. might be better to go something like, "When the band began recording their seventh album, those rumors came true."


I ordered a ticket to go see Van Halen live with David Lee Roth once again and should be "at" the helm.


For twenty-three years Van Halen fans all of should be "over" the world have been waiting for this day, just as I have.

Redballjets88
12-07-2007, 01:12 PM
Originally posted by knuckleboner
good work! i'm normally not a grammar nazi, but seeing as how this is for your class, i thought i'd pitch in with a few minor modifications...

also, i didn't note it, but you need a consistent format with the song titles. you start by just capitalizing them (Panama) and finish by using the single quotation marks ('Girl Gone Bad'.)

content wise, though, nicely done.

thanks actually, i'll take some free peer editing.

Redballjets88
12-07-2007, 07:48 PM
Originally posted by Jim Shetterlini
I believe it was Holland that the boys were born and lived the first few years of their life. But other than that a great job and I am as glad for you as I am for my boys that you were introduced to real music instead of what is out there today. Congrats and good luck!

goddamnit, i have no idea how i got that wrong, I guess i mixed up dutch and danish

VanHalener
12-07-2007, 07:52 PM
Look, you should do your teacher anyway. She's worked hard for you so work hard for her. Don't forget to give a good smack on the butt.

That is all.

DLR2007
12-07-2007, 09:38 PM
That's cool man, if I can get a hold of it I'm planning on using Crazy From The Heat next semester for a book project, I was going to use it in this one but I couldn't find it. Part of the project is some visual aids like props and stuff so that should be fun.

rustoffa
12-07-2007, 10:21 PM
How old is your professor?

Punctuation, statement-body-summary....

Is it 101?
:confused:

Redballjets88
12-08-2007, 04:20 AM
Originally posted by rustoffa
How old is your professor?

Punctuation, statement-body-summary....

Is it 101?
:confused:

she is in her mid 40's and its first year composition

stringfelowhawk
12-08-2007, 05:25 AM
I have a few suggestions if you want some....

I have a knack for detail. So much so that my junior year I was under suspicion for copying letters written by a Civil War Colonel in charge of the first black regiment. Matthew Broderick's character in "Glory" to be exact. It was a history assignment where everyone was to pick one person from the Civil War and write a series of letters to family, friends or even diary entries in first person. Now, I had never read his real letters (still haven't) but my teacher held me after class thinking because they were so authentic and similar I had to have plagerized them. Problem with that reasoning is I didn't nor did I know any actual letters still existed. It was uncanny. I eventually convinced her I was being honest and got an A. Its ironic because I literally wrote all 5 letters in about 30 minutes while watching Sportscenter before school that morning.

What suggestions you wonder? As is, I would give you a B-. I'm not trying to be mean. What you have is good but lack of detail can make it blase'. Add a little bit more to beef it up. It could be the diference between a letter grade. Don't write a novel or add extremely obscure details but flesh it out a little more. It will make it look like you really went above and beyond the "normal" research tactics. Put short little stories from inteviews or excerts from "Crazy From The Heat" but don't forget to reference your source. Add somehting like Dave being an expert mountain climber who's climbed in the Himalayas (he never mentions Everest by name though). Write about him being an adventerer treking through jungles all over the world in his down time or how he got his nickname "Diamond Dave". You could mention he's a serious martial artist. Throw in a tidbit about Eddie playing on "Beat It" for free and pioneering the tapping technique. "Eruption" was voted as the second greatest guitar solo of all time by a joint poll a few years back nestled right between "Stairway" and "Comfortably Numb". They are in an elite group of artists who've had 2 albums go Diamond. Their influence in changing music history by killing disco and spawning a legion of "hair bands" that took themselves too seriously. Tell her they were targeted by Tipper Gore's PMRC etc. How they became one of the fledgling MTV's saviors and original video stars. Drop in the aborted 96 reunion and various other attempts to reconcile. Speculate that there has never been a better case for "Behind The Music" than this band. And just before your personal statement to close tie it all together with how they've finally come full circle and are selling out all over the country right now to outstanding reviews. I'd toss a few of Dave's cleaner "Rothisms" throughout to make it humourous.

Sorry there's so much. You can choose which, if any, of the suggestions you like. Hope it helps. Overall you did good so you could leave it as is. I'm not in the mood to check my spelling and grammer so I'm sure I've made mistakes.

slim magilicuti
12-08-2007, 09:07 AM
Originally posted by Redballjets88
thanks actually, i'll take some free peer editing.


Originally posted by Slim Magilicutiti

[Three years ago] on Christmas morning, I opened a present that would change my life. I [adverb here?] received a copy of Van Halen I, [the most (adj) album to debut….in the ‘70’s…more fluff about VH I]. From the second I put it [on] the stereo I was hooked. Van Halen has since become my favorite band and has influenced my entire taste in music.

The four original members of Van Halen have very different backgrounds. Eddie and Alex Van Halen were both born in [the Netherlands] into a family of musicians. At a very young age both of them were exposed to music and [were well versed in various forms of the art??]. Alex played guitar and Eddie was a drummer, but after awhile the two switched because Alex liked playing drums more and Eddie was more attracted to the guitar.( http://www.valleywebs.com/van-halen/)

[The family moved to California in __ and…research Alex sitting in with father’s jazz band and his fathers involvement in the music industry for remaining paragraph??]. After a few years [the brothers] started a band with Alex on drums and Eddie [handling??] guitar and lead vocals.

[When the load got to[o] big??...maybe something about renting the PA from Dave to start off this paragraph???] for Eddie to handle they brought in David Lee Roth to be the front-man. David Lee Roth was born in Bloomington, Indiana, the son of Dr. Nathan Roth. (http://www.davidleeroth.com/bio) As a youth he would frequent his uncle Manny Roths’ bar and nightclub Café Wha?. [Dave was heavily influenced by the bands he saw performing at his Uncle’s nightclub as a child,] acts such as Jimi Hendrix and Bob Dylan.

The final member of Van Halen was Michael Anthony was born in Chicago Illinois. He later moved to California and formed a short lived band known as Snake. He joined Van Halen after the original bassist, Mark Stone, quit. Van Halen started out playing back yard parties and local venues. After a couple of years they moved up to playing Los Angeles venues such as the Starwood and Whiskey A Go-Go (http://www.classicvanhalen.com/bios.shtml).

In 1976 Gene Simmons, [the bass player of the then-popular rock band, KISS,] saw Van Halen play and let them record a demo. [These sessions did not lead to a record contract for Van Halen.] In 1977 Warner producer, Ted Templeman, went to a Van Halen show and immediately invited them to the recording studio. After the demo was recorded Van Halen was signed to Warner and [the legend was born??].

In 1978 Van Halens’ debut album [came out??]. Van Halen I was and still is one of the most [dynamic??] records of all time. With original songs such as Runnin’ With the Devil, Jamie’s Cryin’, and Feel Your Love Tonight, along with covers like You Really Got Me and The Ice Cream Man. […] The overall sound of Van Halen I was non stop fast paced and ‘in your face’. From the opening note people knew that Eddie Van Halen was something they have never heard before, and by the time they had listened to Eruption fans realized that they had discovered a new guitar god. On their first tour Van Halen was the opening act for Black Sabbath on Black Sabbath’s 10 year anniversary tour. It has been said that Van Halen repeatedly stole the show night after night.( http://www.valleywebs.com/van-halen)

Within ten months of Van Halen I’s release the album went platinum. Van Halen has sold over 10 million albums to date. From 1979 to 1982 Van Halen released four more albums. These albums were; Van Halen II, Women and Children First, Fair Warning, and Diver Down. Van Halen II was written and recorded in a matter of two months. It also went platinum within months. With hits such as ‘Dance the Night Away’ and ‘Somebody Get Me a Doctor’. In 1980 Van Halen released Women and Children First. Women and Children First was critically acclaimed and sold over two million copies. When 1981 rolled around Van Halen released fair Warning. This album, to many critics, is considered Eddies album. The album is extremely guitar driven and darker than the other albums. Also in 1981 Van Halen played their legendary Oakland ’81 show. This is one of the few shows [where] footage was shot.

Over the next four years Eddie would go on to win three guitarist of the year awards.
[But] Diver Down was released in 1982. This is considered to be Dave’s album. It is a very [upbeat??] album and a bit more [poppy??] than the other albums while still [keeping its’ edge??].

[With the commercial success of Diver Down…] Van Halen was paid one million dollars to play at the US Festival 1982 (actually – David Bowie was paid the same amount as Van Halen to play the US festival…(63I’m not sure that the effect of mentioning it was a record is worth having to research that fact for accuracy)]. They [were chosen] to headline the [festival on ‘Heavy Metal Day’.] [Supposedly,the US festival was a representation of] the biggest [music??] rock acts of the time.

[Maybe something about how video was becoming important to the music biz…MTV…??]Van Halen also released its first music video. The video was for the song ‘Pretty Woman’ but the video was banned by MTV due to the presence of a transsexual man at the end of the video. [Why is this culturally significant.,..there might be something to this that would be of interest to a freshman English professor] The 1979 to 1982 time period is when Van Halen solidified their place in mainstream rock music. Their next album is what would vault them into the pantheon of rock legends. [meh….]

In 1984 the [most momentous??] album of Van Halen history came out. 1984, or MCMLXXXIV as it was written on the record, was the bands [most popular release??], and gave the band its first number one hit in Jump. […] With the hugely successful ‘Jump’[, and] songs such as ‘Hot for Teacher’, ‘Panama’, and ‘I’ll Wait’, 1984 was a smash hit for Van Halen. Each of these songs was […] on the top Billboard Top 100 List. (http://www.classicvanhalen.com/). Some fans were slightly upset with the album because of the use of synthesizers. They felt that the song was too mainstream and did not fit the normal Van Halen sound. At this point Van Halen […was] arguably the biggest band on the face of the earth.

In early 1985 David Lee Roth recorded his first solo album,[…] Crazy from the Heat. The album was four songs long and was all cover songs [of what???...its relevant]. [Many felt that Dave was trying to break away from his band, while other felt that he was just doing his own thing and being himself.??] Dave was [also][in talks???negotiations] to star in a movie (www.rollingstone.com). From this point on break-up rumors began to swirl.

Dave left the band to pursue a solo career. Sammy Hagar was brought in to replace Dave. Sammy Hagar began in music in the 1970’s as the lead singer and rhythm guitarist of Montrose. His next move was to a solo career. He had some success with a few catchy but bland hits. He finally got famous in 1985 when he joined Van Halen (www.vh1.com). Van Halen went on with Hagar and had success, but the style of music greatly suffered and many long-time Van Halen fans did not like the new music. Dave went on to have a good solo career and his first four albums went platinum. Eat Em’ and Smile had hits such as ‘Yankee Rose’ and ‘That’s Life’. His next album, Skyscraper, had ‘Just Like Paradise’. Dave could never recapture the magic that the had with Van Halen though.

Last week my dreams came true. I ordered a ticket to go see Van Halen live with David Lee Roth once again [and the helm??]. This is the first tour since 1984 that Eddie, Alex, and Dave have been on stage with one another. On January 26th, 2008 in American Airline Center, in section 112 row S, I will be having the greatest day of my life. For twenty-three years Van Halen fans all of the world have been waiting for this day, just as I have. I have hope and faith, and as David Lee Roth said, “…those are a lot more than the names of a couple of strippers from Albuquerque” (www.rotharmy.com/quotes)


My suggestions are in brackets "[...]". Some may help - others should be considered and then ignored. I paid less attention to grammar and punctuation and more attention to context. It may help to copy cut/paste in Word and print it out...

Good luck with the paper and glad to read you are trying to better yourself through education. Its the way to go...even if it doesn't guarentee a better job down the road. :)

Redballjets88
12-08-2007, 11:42 AM
thanks to all, the small things helped. and strng, I would make it more detailed but since it is a firdt year class its more about format than content, plus i already went 2 pages over what was needed haha, thanks again tho

Dan
12-09-2007, 01:22 AM
Originally posted by Redballjets88
she is in her mid 40's and its first year composition

Is She Going To Any Of The Show?

NATEDOG001976
12-09-2007, 01:56 AM
Originally posted by Redballjets88
haha yeah, they may regret it because they weren't too thrilled with my van halen tattoo.

Great Paper bro!

But remember who has the best VH tat here, NATEDOG!!!!

jero
12-09-2007, 04:27 AM
Originally posted by Redballjets88
goddamnit, i have no idea how i got that wrong, I guess i mixed up dutch and danish

It happens all the time.

Wij zijn geen Denen!!

diamondsgirl
12-09-2007, 02:29 PM
I don't care what anyone else says....

http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/86/92/22189286.jpg

Redballjets88
12-09-2007, 04:33 PM
Originally posted by diamondsgirl
I don't care what anyone else says....

http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/86/92/22189286.jpg

i agree haha

MERRYKISSMASS2U
12-09-2007, 04:39 PM
Originally posted by Redballjets88
i agree haha

Too bad your teacher won't.

Redballjets88
12-09-2007, 05:22 PM
Originally posted by MERRYKISSMASS2U
Too bad your teacher won't.

she may actually, mostly because the grade is based on format and i met all the requirements.

hideyoursheep
12-09-2007, 05:48 PM
Originally posted by slim magilicuti
Good luck with the paper and glad to read you are trying to better yourself through education. Its the way to go...even if it doesn't guarentee a better job down the road. :)

Anything's possible....






http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w99/Frecklenose15/the%20good%20stuff/tonysmokingweed.jpg




have fun!:D

Redballjets88
12-09-2007, 05:52 PM
Originally posted by hideyoursheep
Anything's possible....






http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w99/Frecklenose15/the%20good%20stuff/tonysmokingweed.jpg




have fun!:D

hahahaha you forgot the mound of coke