Chuck Norris: Cultural Icon

[Matt White]

just checked out www.chucknorrisfacts.com......


FUCKING AWESOME

:D

a few CHUCK NORRIS FACTS:

1.)If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2.) There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3.) Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4.) Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
5.) Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
6.) Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
7.) Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
8.)Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird

and.....

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship

[kwame k]

Chuck “Walker Texas Ranger” PHD

The finest dramatic actor of his generation.

You seemed to miss the fact that Chuck went back to Vietnam and single handedly beat the shit out of those little fuckers as payback for the war. Brought back our boys and was able to film a couple of Documentaries about the whole thing. Used a fake movie title and sold it as way to fund it.

Curious side note:
Chuck used to spar with Bruce Lee and then Bruce ended up dying under suspect circumstances. Coincidence or…………don’t fuck with the Chuck.

So if you’re going to list Chuck’s accomplishments get ‘em right dude!

Or I’ll Chuck you up Mother Chucker!!!

[Matt White]

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV


HEY:mad:

watch the "text messages" your honor...........


and keep an eye out for that "turkey-necked" channel 7 reporter dogging you around..........

[kwame k]

Thanks for the advice.

I’ll send you a text message about how I really feel ……….

I’m more worried about the Free Press. Them all reportin facts and shit.

You know this is all a way to keep a good black man down.

[Matt White]

Those BASTURDS!!!!


:mad:

[kwame k]

Preach it brutha ! Now for more Chuck:

http://www.chucknorrisjokes.net/

1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
3. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
4. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
5. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
7. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
9. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

[hideyoursheep]

Norris had a part to play in mixed martial arts around the same time
Bruce did, but doesn't get enough credit.

Taking lessons in Korea with the Koreans as he did
in those days is a tough task in itself. They don't fuck around!







But I think I would be more afraid of Chuck Zito.

[Matt White]

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

[kwame k]

Don’t forget Chuck put the laughter in manslaughter!

[bueno bob]

Seems like the only thing Chuck Norris CAN'T do...







...is get Mike Huckabee elected.


:D

[Dan]

Please Note That Chuck Is A Friend Of The Sheep Pen.:)

[VanHalener]

I was going make a post but Chuck said I better not.

[binnie]

Ha Ha! Great thread.

Chuck Norris is awesome as far as I'm concerned, his movies always entertain me.

[jero]

LMAO!

[hideyoursheep]

My favorite:



The only WMD in Iraq is Chuck Norris.
:)