I think I've fucked it.

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  • Reverberator
    TOASTMASTER GENERAL
    • Aug 2004
    • 10875

    I think I've fucked it.

    I post this here as there is more throughfare.

    Rev has completely lost it with this one , I am best man at a work friends wedding tomorrow and I havn't written a speech because I've always been able to wing shit like that with some sharp wit and fuck about.

    Not this time though , I really have fucked up cos even though I have a routine that I've thought up , I can't see me delivering it well ..... I have to say that confidence is not my forte these days.

    It's too late now to back out .... and whatever I say will either be shit or more shit , so can't win.

    Better get pissed and feint a heart attack or something.

    The weddings tomorrow so no advice please , just trying to say you can be the dogs most / all of the time but sometimes you can get lost just like everyone else .

    And before you say it's easy .....it's not I have done it twice before ... but I'm older now .

    If I could be Reverberator or Cockney Cant at the reception I wouldn't have a problem ......

    Real life over e-life = BIG difference.
    Originally posted by Mr Grimsdale
    the chazzers are so lucky
    so fortunate to be served by the dump messiah
    http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u...TheDMCross.jpg
  • Terry
    TOASTMASTER GENERAL
    • Jan 2004
    • 11957

    #2
    Originally posted by Reverberator
    I post this here as there is more throughfare.

    Rev has completely lost it with this one , I am best man at a work friends wedding tomorrow and I havn't written a speech because I've always been able to wing shit like that with some sharp wit and fuck about.

    Not this time though , I really have fucked up cos even though I have a routine that I've thought up , I can't see me delivering it well ..... I have to say that confidence is not my forte these days.

    It's too late now to back out .... and whatever I say will either be shit or more shit , so can't win.

    Better get pissed and feint a heart attack or something.

    The weddings tomorrow so no advice please , just trying to say you can be the dogs most / all of the time but sometimes you can get lost just like everyone else .

    And before you say it's easy .....it's not I have done it twice before ... but I'm older now .

    If I could be Reverberator or Cockney Cant at the reception I wouldn't have a problem ......

    Real life over e-life = BIG difference.

    Just turn to the groom, then motion with your head towards his new bride and say "Fuck her. I did." Drain your champagne flute and sit down.
    Scramby eggs and bacon.

    Comment

    • Seshmeister
      ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

      • Oct 2003
      • 35192

      #3
      Originally posted by Reverberator
      I post this here as there is more throughfare.

      Rev has completely lost it with this one , I am best man at a work friends wedding tomorrow and I havn't written a speech because I've always been able to wing shit like that with some sharp wit and fuck about.

      Not this time though , I really have fucked up cos even though I have a routine that I've thought up , I can't see me delivering it well ..... I have to say that confidence is not my forte these days.

      It's too late now to back out .... and whatever I say will either be shit or more shit , so can't win.

      Better get pissed and feint a heart attack or something.

      The weddings tomorrow so no advice please , just trying to say you can be the dogs most / all of the time but sometimes you can get lost just like everyone else .

      And before you say it's easy .....it's not I have done it twice before ... but I'm older now .

      If I could be Reverberator or Cockney Cant at the reception I wouldn't have a problem ......

      Real life over e-life = BIG difference.
      Coming up with the jokes for a best man speech is a lot easier these days with the internet. Sounds like you did fine before or you wouldn't have been asked to do a 3rd.

      Still it's always incredibly stressful, I've done 3 so far 2 went really well the other was a bit mixed. I'd happily never do it again. Not a great idea to get too drunk. I did one where I had 5 double vodkas 10 minutes beforehand but most of it kicked in after the speech leaving me a bit of a drunken mess by the end of the night.

      I know you said no advice but I do have a cool trick I came up with. As you know it's traditional for the best man to read out the greeting cards after the speech. Stick a fake card in with a gag - it catches everyone off guard because they are expecting to be bored at that bit plus you can even write the joke on the card and it's the one time reading a joke straight from a card is fine. It could be just as simple as a congratulations card from the local booze shop or if you are more daring a sperm count test result or whatever.

      I brought the house down with a slow build up gag doing that a good few years ago.

      There is no record of it now though as the guy taped over all the wedding videos after the divorce...
      Last edited by Seshmeister; 08-08-2009, 12:39 AM.

      Comment

      • Dan
        DIAMOND STATUS
        • Jan 2004
        • 12194

        #4
        So How Was The Wedding,Rev?
        First Roth Army Kiwi To See Van Halen Live 6/16/2012 Phoenix Arizona.

        Comment

        • Reverberator
          TOASTMASTER GENERAL
          • Aug 2004
          • 10875

          #5
          Cool ...cheers guys.

          I pulled it off , but I was helped by the driver of the limosene taking us to the wrong church ... good opening gambit....it went really well off the cuff.

          I really worried about this... but in the end no drama.
          Originally posted by Mr Grimsdale
          the chazzers are so lucky
          so fortunate to be served by the dump messiah
          http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u...TheDMCross.jpg

          Comment

          • Dan
            DIAMOND STATUS
            • Jan 2004
            • 12194

            #6
            Originally posted by Reverberator
            Cool ...cheers guys.

            I pulled it off , but I was helped by the driver of the limosene taking us to the wrong church ... good opening gambit....it went really well off the cuff.

            I really worried about this... but in the end no drama.
            Sweet As,Did You Keep Your Clothes On?
            First Roth Army Kiwi To See Van Halen Live 6/16/2012 Phoenix Arizona.

            Comment

            • Anonymous
              Banned
              • May 2004
              • 12748

              #7
              Originally posted by Reverberator
              I really worried about this... but in the end no drama.
              Funny how it's always like this... I guess it's because the more we worry, the smaller the "problem" will seem when it's solved.

              Did you talk about the bride's tits?

              Cheers! :bottle:

              Comment

              • binnie
                DIAMOND STATUS
                • May 2006
                • 19145

                #8
                Glad to hear that it went well!
                The Power Of The Riff Compels Me

                Comment

                • Seshmeister
                  ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

                  • Oct 2003
                  • 35192

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Reverberator
                  I pulled it off ... good opening gambit....it went really well off the cuff.
                  I hope you didn't get any on the brides dress...

                  Comment

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