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GAR
09-07-2009, 02:42 AM
Gather ye round my campfire of idiocy, people:

I want to know how best you piss off your chick!

Earlier this afternoon, I came up with the best, 24karat GOLD statement that hit the sweet-spot central in my chick's brain: she was completely neutralized for about 40 minutes until the tidewaters of repression overflowed into one of the worst arguements EVER.

What I said, was "(clop-clop-clop) Didja hear that noise?" mm wah I'm sleepin... "listen - right there, Lefty:


(at the top of my lungs)
PEOPLE ARE FUCKIN' next door! I hear people FAAAH-keeng!!!

(one eye opens, then another over several minutes listening to the neighbors' dog wulfing down 20 pounds of bullshit) and then the Eruption.. as she goes ballistic.

If your chick is as primp princessy and proper as this one thinks she is, I'll supply you with Items #2 thru #10 in my list.

But please, please if you want more of my Secret Sauce, share some of your own vitriolics and senselessness because after nearly 2 years of her I'm nearing replay being out of fresh material. So do share..

Just remember "people are FUCKING.." I've done that in WhisperMODE and it works just as powerfully.

Dr. Love
09-07-2009, 03:29 AM
It appears my pissing in the shower thread is a similar thread to this one.

In before the trolling. Or most likely after it and before it.

binnie
09-07-2009, 07:22 AM
Why would you WANT to annoy her?

Value the quiet life myself.......

hideyoursheep
09-09-2009, 06:35 AM
How To Piss Off Your Chick

1) Get a chick....

VanHalener
09-09-2009, 07:22 AM
Pissing off VanHalenette is a very bad idea because the woman packs a .40 cal. and she's one hell of a shot.

Besides, she's the best woman in all of Virginia and I really wouldn't want her to deny me that lovin' that makes me go


OWWWWWWWW YEAH!!!


~Only you can prevent angry women~

sadaist
09-09-2009, 08:37 AM
I want to know how best you piss off your chick!


Introduce her to your wife.

Igosplut
09-09-2009, 12:01 PM
If the coward Gargle ever HAD a girlfriend (very doubtful) five minutes of listening to his inane yammering would be enough I'm sure...

Better yet, let her (It?) read the verbal diarrhea here you write about her. Your imaginary girlfriend would imaginary split....

standin
09-09-2009, 01:39 PM
Pissing off VanHalenette is a very bad idea because the woman packs a .40 cal. and she's one hell of a shot.

Besides, she's the best woman in all of Virginia and I really wouldn't want her to deny me that lovin' that makes me go


OWWWWWWWW YEAH!!!


~Only you can prevent angry women~
lightly equipped
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/191/462126372_fbddb834e3.jpg

standin
09-09-2009, 01:46 PM
statement that hit the sweet-spot central in my chick's brain: FUCKIN' you want more of my Secret Sauce, .

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/49/168083836_48925dd472.jpg

standin
09-09-2009, 01:47 PM
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/153/431122465_5fedb24a0e.jpg

Kristy
09-09-2009, 01:48 PM
VanHalenette :patriot:

lesfunk
09-09-2009, 02:13 PM
just be yourself

binnie
09-09-2009, 02:57 PM
There seem to be several things which I do that really annoy Mrs binnie:

1) Come in late and drunk. Get in bed, kneel on the pillow and wack her on the head with my erection believing that this will induce her to play with it. She is now very thankful that I am 100% sober.

2) Farting in my sleep.

3) Failing to understand that whilst it is perfectly acceptable for her to criticize her family, I do so only at my own peril.

4) Not having an opinion on something which I am destined to be wrong about anyway.

5) Being sprightly in the morning.

Anonymous
09-09-2009, 03:02 PM
1) Come in late and drunk. Get in bed, kneel on the pillow and wack her on the head with my erection believing that this will induce her to play with it. She is now very thankful that I am 100% sober.

Yours gets annoyed by this too? Hey, all this time I though mine was just being uptight...

Women. Go figure.

Cheers! :bottle:

thome
09-09-2009, 04:51 PM
Any given Saturday afternoon....

Getting Blind stinking drunk on -Beer- with the boys then throwing the covers off myself after passing out nude.

Grabbing my cock and pissing off the side of the bed for 3 min,till it splatters like a pond, yelling, "I'm going in guys" then grabbing -Missy thome- and carrying her thru the house to the front window.

Then climbing thru the window,
and standing in the front yard holding her over my shoulder to the neighbors amazement.
Yelling, "We aregoing to need another ladder truck men".

Good Times...

:biggrin:

thome
09-09-2009, 05:07 PM
I stole that and made it mine for the thread .

Plus I added the pissing part .( not that me, The thome, knows anything about that...hu hmmm)


Not my story above, but true just the same.\

Told to me about a relative of mine, long gone.

A Fireman, back in the thirties and his lovely little wife. He was like 6ft 4 and this happened more than once, she must have loved him.

Any other Woman may have been quite pissed off.

I thought it might be on-time with the aniversary of the Loss at 911 and the Firemen who live it.

and it's flat funny as fukk..


Roth On Bitchez..

Ally_Kat
09-09-2009, 06:06 PM
Pirate sex. Hands down.

And do you know what the worse part of pirate sex is?














The parrot gives commentary.
http://www.musictoprayby.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/parrot_upstairs.jpg

VanHalener
09-09-2009, 08:22 PM
Lmfao

GAR
09-11-2009, 02:08 AM
2) Farting in my sleep.

Binnie, this was my #2 which I call FartBLANKETING.

FartBLANKETING is best done when you pinch your entrails together beneath the covers till you no longer can stand it.

Then, you lift your feet-end of the blanket slowly as you do what the Michael Jackson's children know as "making the bad airs" but without sound or provocation.

Lastly, while the approximately 8 cubic feet of The Bad Airs entrapped by your raised feet is slowly lowered and passing up thru the neckline of the covers, start an argument from any number of previously-disputed grudges - waking your babe up:

- don't like your cooking, it stinks
- we have to change the muffler on the car
- you know that disposal in the sink smells and is noisey
- hey you woudn't happen to have a match on you huh
- the cat left one hey wake up the cat left one
- enough of your cheap food, this is what happens to me
- the spare tire in the car is flat, it is phlblbtblblblbtttt I tellya
- the plumber fixed the toilet but he can't fix the smell
- someone told me air conditioning goes bad after awhile
- hun do we have the Febreze out, your breath is like...
- who needs garlic to keep vampires out when you got this
- hey starving children in Africa could take a hit offa that and gain 5 pounds, huh dontcha think