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Seshmeister
10-01-2009, 06:47 PM
German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6241440/German-men-are-worlds-worst-lovers-with-English-men-in-second-place.html)


German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

German men have been voted the world's worst lovers, narrowly beating English men to the unwanted title.


Published: 7:00AM BST 29 Sep 2009

A poll of 15,000 women found that Germans are considered "too smelly".

English lovers came second because they are so lazy, while men from Sweden were branded "too quick to finish" and came third.

Spanish men topped the table as the best lovers, followed by Brazilians and Italians.

The poll, carried out by global research site OnePoll :: Homepage (http://www.OnePoll.com), asked women from 20 countries to rate nations on their ability in bed and give reasons for their answers.

Germans were deemed to have bad body odour, Englishmen were accused of letting women do all the work, whilst Swedes were a bit too quick to finish.

Men from Holland were "too rough" between the bed covers and Americans were accused of being "too dominating" in the bedroom.

Greek men were said to be a bit too soppy.

Other countries who didn't fare well in the poll were Scotland (too loud), Turkey (too sweaty) and Wales (too selfish).

Russian men crept in at tenth place amid accusations they are too hairy for the average woman.

A spokesperson for OnePoll :: Homepage (http://www.OnePoll.com) added: ''These results are an eye-opener for thousands of men around the world and female travellers might judge potential new lovers by looking at these results.''

WORLD'S WORST LOVERS:

1. Germany (too smelly)

2. England (too lazy)

3. Sweden (too quick)

4. Holland (too rough)

5. America (too dominating)

6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)

7. Wales (too selfish)

8. Scotland (too loud)

9. Turkey (too sweaty)

10. Russia (too hairy)

WORLD'S BEST LOVERS

1. Spain

2. Brazil

3. Italy

4. France

5. Ireland

6. South Africa

7. Australia

8. New Zealand

9. Denmark

10. Canada

Seshmeister
10-01-2009, 06:48 PM
Too loud?

WTF? :)

Dan
10-01-2009, 07:18 PM
Number 8,WTF?

fryingdutchman
10-01-2009, 07:26 PM
Number 8,WTF?

Hey...don't sweat it.

At least you guys were on the "best" side of the list.

Panamark should be along any moment now to talk some big brother smack on behalf of the Aussies...

Coyote
10-01-2009, 07:35 PM
Finland wasn't included, 'cause we DEFY categorization...

Seshmeister
10-01-2009, 08:45 PM
Panamark should be along any moment now to talk some big brother smack on behalf of the Aussies...

I think they just got extra points for doing it upside down!

Same with New Zealand.

Unless there was a big vote by ewes of course... :)

FORD
10-01-2009, 09:26 PM
Too loud?

WTF? :)

Probably because you insist on playing bagpipes in the middle of it? :biggrin:

Little Texan
10-01-2009, 09:45 PM
8. Scotland (too drunk)



Sounds about like it. :D

Little Texan
10-01-2009, 09:47 PM
These 15,000 women they polled are TOO PICKY.

standin
10-01-2009, 10:05 PM
Woman of the poll - Stereotypers

<object width="500" height="405"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LgEin42blfk&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LgEin42blfk&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="405"></embed></object>

Ally_Kat
10-01-2009, 10:34 PM
...while men from Sweden were branded "too quick to finish" and came third.



Really? Thought they would have came first.


:biggrin:

standin
10-01-2009, 10:35 PM
:lmao:

BITEYOASS
10-01-2009, 10:57 PM
American domination sex, love it or leave it! :D

standin
10-01-2009, 11:16 PM
I so forgot how good the blur was. Reminds me of another song......

<div><object width="420" height="339"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/xq3ri" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><embed src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/xq3ri" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="420" height="339" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always"></embed></object><br /><b><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/xq3ri">The Lotion Song!!!</a></b><br /><i>by <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/phillyblacklite">phillyblacklite</a></i></div>

Seshmeister
10-01-2009, 11:46 PM
Really? Thought they would have came first.


:biggrin:

:D

You forget that the Swedes are famously into group sex... :)

Dan
10-02-2009, 12:57 AM
10. Russia (too hairy).

It's A Jungle Down There.:D

GAR
10-02-2009, 01:43 AM
Funny how the porn capital of the world of Southern California isn't even mentioned as best nor worst.

What a shitty poll! Hey SESH you got shit on your poll!

Seshmeister
10-02-2009, 01:45 AM
It's cuntries not regional areas.

GAR
10-02-2009, 01:47 AM
Then why is more American filth purchased by the rest of the world, than say, Russian filth or Briti- oh wait.. there is no UK porn industry.

binnie
10-02-2009, 01:56 AM
So your argument is that the country that makes the best porn has the best lovers?

There is a massive German porn industry, and they were voted worst.

If you are confusing porn sex with being a good lover then you must really not understand (most) women.

Or have I misread your post?

Diamondjimi
10-02-2009, 01:58 AM
Savicki, Gar & Blackf*ag make a porno...

http://cdnll-0.liveleak.com/u/thumbs/2007/May/7/150060_avatar.jpg

Panamark
10-02-2009, 02:20 AM
Hey...don't sweat it.

At least you guys were on the "best" side of the list.

Panamark should be along any moment now to talk some big brother smack on behalf of the Aussies...


:biggrin:

At least we beat the Kiwi's (again !)

Of course the Scots are loud !! The only way they get laid
is to pay for it, and there is nothing on earth that compares
to the wail a scot makes when they are forced to depart with
their own money !! :)

Dan
10-02-2009, 03:37 AM
:biggrin:

At least we beat the Kiwi's (again !)

Of course the Scots are loud !! The only way they get laid
is to pay for it, and there is nothing on earth that compares
to the wail a scot makes when they are forced to depart with
their own money !! :)

Well Since You Aussie's Call Everyone Mate,Then You Just Fuck Anyone Called Mate.:hitch:

Panamark
10-02-2009, 04:02 AM
Well Since You Aussie's Call Everyone Mate,Then You Just Fuck Anyone Called Mate.:hitch:


You do realize I consider you a Mate, Dan !:umm:

Dan
10-02-2009, 04:05 AM
You do realize I consider you a Mate, Dan !:umm:

With Your Pants On,I Hope.:biggrin:

Panamark
10-02-2009, 04:07 AM
With Your Pants On,I Hope.:biggrin:

Actually, I like to believe our mateship would survive anything, even
in times of pantslessness !!!:biggrin:

Dan
10-02-2009, 04:10 AM
How Rude.:D

GAR
10-02-2009, 04:19 AM
So your argument is that the country that makes the best porn has the best lovers?

Just going with the numbers, stating the obvious that the world enjoys watching more Californians screwing than any other group of people for some reason.

The term "gonzo" was not coined for Italians. They instead coined the term "amooray" which is easier to spill out of your mouth, slowly and drunkedly. For an equally lazy time. That's why all Italian chicks are soft and lazy..

The term "farvegnugen" was coined by Germans to best express the excuse that you're too fat and tired to screw. So I fully understand why they didn't get top honors. Who wants to see THAT?

Panamark
10-02-2009, 04:25 AM
I didnt mean I want pants off action with ya DTM !
Just that, if I was like, ya know in hospital or something,
we would still be Mates ! (Why do people always assume the perverted ??)

binnie
10-02-2009, 05:10 AM
Just going with the numbers, stating the obvious that the world enjoys watching more Californians screwing than any other group of people for some reason.



Yes, but being a good 'screw' is not the same thing as being a good lover.

fryingdutchman
10-02-2009, 07:31 AM
:D

You forget that the Swedes are famously into group sex... :)

Wasn't that how ABBA was formed?

:biggrin:

Seshmeister
10-02-2009, 08:04 AM
Then why is more American filth purchased by the rest of the world, than say, Russian filth or Briti- oh wait.. there is no UK porn industry.

It does but it's not great.

The problem for British people watching British porn is that trashy women here have horrible trashy accents which really spoils the mood.

Seshmeister
10-02-2009, 08:16 AM
:biggrin:


Of course the Scots are loud !! The only way they get laid
is to pay for it, and there is nothing on earth that compares
to the wail a scot makes when they are forced to depart with
their own money !! :)

More like shouting at then to be careful they don't spill our drink.

Panamark
10-02-2009, 08:37 AM
And hookers dont generally supply an open bar......
I can imagine the drinks in such establishments would
be very pricey, I would be screaming too, but a scot
and his money, breaking up for good, is never pretty....

Isnt that how copper wire was invented, 2 scots fighting
over a penny ???

Seshmeister
10-02-2009, 08:41 AM
You should carbon date that joke, I think it's either late Triassic or early Jurassic...

Panamark
10-02-2009, 09:01 AM
Neither of which periods had man ??????

FORD
10-02-2009, 01:09 PM
A Scot was visiting the Middle East. He got to the Sea of Galilee and saw a sign advertising boat tours across the sea where Jesus walked on water. The Scot had some time to kill, so he thought "why not?"

He asked how much the boat tour cost, and was told $50.

"$50 dollars for a wee boat ride? Now you know why Christ walked!!"

Nitro Express
10-02-2009, 01:59 PM
So apparently German pussy smells like three week old saurkraught.

FORD
10-02-2009, 02:21 PM
Well, it could taste like beer. But then she would probably have a yeast infection.

binnie
10-02-2009, 04:32 PM
It does but it's not great.

The problem for British people watching British porn is that trashy women here have horrible trashy accents which really spoils the mood.

They always seem to have broad Yorkshire/Lancashire accents......

Little Texan
10-02-2009, 04:44 PM
Savicki, Gar & Blackf*ag make a porno...

http://cdnll-0.liveleak.com/u/thumbs/2007/May/7/150060_avatar.jpg

I'm guessing that's Suckdicki on the bottom, GAyR in the middle, and Buckfag in the back? :D

Anonymous
10-02-2009, 05:43 PM
Oi, where am I on that list?

Are you guys cuntfusing Portugal with Spain again?

Cheers! :bottle:

Dan
10-02-2009, 07:38 PM
Pussy,What Are The Portugal Ladies Like?

Anonymous
10-02-2009, 08:13 PM
Cold. Very uptight. Too full of themselves. Considered by every man alive to be the hardest to score with, and nuthin' special in bed.

On the other hand, it's grate practice, as it makes it extremely easy to get into the knickers of a woman of any other country.

As long as ye're not always goofing off, that is, Caddyshack style. You know, like I always am.

Cheers! :bottle:

Seshmeister
10-02-2009, 08:55 PM
I'm guessing that's Suckdicki on the bottom, GAyR in the middle, and Buckfag in the back? :D

That's one eye deer

Panamark
10-03-2009, 12:07 PM
These women should know its impolite to speak with their mouth full ?
No matter what part of england they sprung from....

binnie
10-03-2009, 12:23 PM
Cold. Very uptight. Too full of themselves. Considered by every man alive to be the hardest to score with, and nuthin' special in bed.



That's not my experience.............

Anonymous
10-03-2009, 01:45 PM
That's not my experience.............

I was speaking about Portuguese women in general. Generally speaking, that is.

Of course, they're not ALL like that.

You rascal.

Cheers! :bottle:

BITEYOASS
10-03-2009, 08:39 PM
And I'm proud to be an American, where we slam that poon-tang hard! LOL

Lee Greenwood ain't got shit on me! :D

Nickdfresh
10-03-2009, 11:16 PM
Oi, where am I on that list?

Are you guys cuntfusing Portugal with Spain again?

Cheers! :bottle:

Portugal? What's that?

Nickdfresh
10-06-2009, 10:07 AM
German men are 'world's worst lovers'...

German men have been voted the world's worst lovers, narrowly beating English men to the unwanted title.

...


Is this all based on women viewing the latest Rammstein video?

Coyote
10-06-2009, 12:21 PM
They always seem to have broad Yorkshire/Lancashire accents......

It sounds more like Essex to me... :D

Coyote
10-06-2009, 12:23 PM
Portugal? What's that?

It's either a state of mind, or a cunningly disguised profanity...

Kristy
10-06-2009, 01:29 PM
A lot of this seems cliche but this "research" doesn't surprise me at all about Germans. I've been to Germany and still don't know what to make of the place. Most Germans have this myopic view of America where everybody is a cowboy, owns a horse, a Winchester 30-30 and lives on a 400 acre Ponderosa Ranch complete with its own mini themepark.

English men? Er, no. Just...no. Actually, the limey should be at #1 for the worst sex, EVER! I'll avoid making any emasculating statements/jokes about the limey here. Too easy.

So I take this survey was taken with straight men in mind? In that case, I do agree with the Australian and Canadian men (again, as long as they are straight) in that the ones I've met are the most politest as well as being downright sexy. Never had one as a lover though but give me Brodie Holland anyday

http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q3/azzahitch/Broadiesgunphysique.jpg
yummy

Diamondjimi
10-06-2009, 01:40 PM
A lot of this seems cliche but this "research" doesn't surprise me at all about Germans. I've been to Germany and still don't know what to make of the place. Most Germans have this myopic view of America where everybody is a cowboy, owns a horse, a Winchester 30-30 and lives on a 400 acre Ponderosa Ranch complete with its own mini themepark.


Funny thing is, a lot of Yanks (south of Buffalo) think we live in igloo's and live on Whale blubber. Not true...
That's ONLY whem winter rolls in in! :biggrin:

Kristy
10-06-2009, 01:50 PM
Ever been to Winnipeg in the dead of winter, Jimi? Might as well be living in an igloo.

Actually, I'll be in Canada later this week to celebrate the Canadian Thanksgiving with my adopted Canadian family - well, they adopted me. Why you hold it on a Monday I'll never know.

Anonymous
10-06-2009, 02:12 PM
Portugal? What's that?

Well, it's a... I think it's a country.... used to be, anyways. Not sure what to make of it nowadays.

It's still different from Spain, that I know for sure.

So that survey probably mistook Portugal with Spain.

Cheers! :bottle:

Anonymous
10-06-2009, 02:13 PM
It's either a state of mind, or a cunningly disguised profanity...

Hey, this about sums it up.

I think it's both, actually.

Thanks, C.

Cheers! :bottle:

Diamondjimi
10-06-2009, 02:18 PM
Ever been to Winnipeg in the dead of winter, Jimi? Might as well be living in an igloo.

No I havn't. But I know it gets cold as fuck on the Prairies.



Actually, I'll be in Canada later this week to celebrate the Canadian Thanksgiving with my adopted Canadian family - well, they adopted me. Why you hold it on a Monday I'll never know.

I don't know either...

Coyote
10-06-2009, 02:23 PM
Hey, this about sums it up.

I think it's both, actually.

Thanks, C.

Cheers! :bottle:

You're welcome.

Don't forget my 20% from the licensing of the slogan...

Or just name your offspring after me. That'll do, as well. :hitch:

Seshmeister
10-06-2009, 03:48 PM
English men? Er, no. Just...no. Actually, the limey should be at #1 for the worst sex, EVER! I'll avoid making any emasculating statements/jokes about the limey here. Too easy.


Have you humped a statistically significant number of them then? :)

Kristy
10-07-2009, 12:01 PM
"Hump"??? Is that what you Euro-trash are calling it these days?

binnie
10-07-2009, 12:25 PM
English men? Er, no. Just...no. Actually, the limey should be at #1 for the worst sex, EVER! I'll avoid making any emasculating statements/jokes about the limey here. Too easy.


I've never really understood why Americans think Englishmen are emascualted and/or effeminate. It makes an interesting comparisson with the view of many Europeans of UK males, who essentially see us as apes who come over from the island, visit places, wreck them, and leave. (I'm not too sure which stereotype is less flattering :D)

Maybe its because most images of Englishmen on US TV resemble this?

http://www.freewebs.com/princesscaro/Hugh-Grant.jpg

When this is probably (sadly) much nearer the truth:

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2006/05/hooliganR300506_228x370.jpg

Kristy
10-07-2009, 05:42 PM
I've never really understood why Americans think Englishmen are emasculated and/or effeminate.

It's not a question masculinity, it's more of arrogance and unattractiveness. I dated an limey for 8 months and not only was he terrible in bed, he hardly bathed himself, shaved, or yes, cue the stereotype, brushed his god damned teeth. All major turn offs contrary to the fact of what his ego was telling him. Never have I cared for the English since. Even been to the UK and found the place to be one infested shithole; London has to be the filthiest city on the planet with the most ugliest horse-faced men hitting on you because they have this fucked-up notion that all America girls just lurv a limey accent. To be honest, that Cockney garble makes me cringe. But I guess that goes hand in hand with their bad breath.

As for Hugh Grant I don't find him to be at all good looking or even a enjoyable watch at his feeble attempts of making "chick flicks" for the perpetually desperate.

Seshmeister
10-07-2009, 06:05 PM
I don't mean to be rude and I am inherently not built to stick up for the English but everyone that reads that post is going to think 8 months so
a) You have low self esteem
b) He was rich and you are into that
c) He had a great personality? :)

London is patently not the filthiest city on the planet, you can't get out that much if you think that. I'm sorry you had a bad time with some guy but I thought the thread was obviously tongue in cheek with it's silly generalizations.

Better luck next time.


Cheers

:gulp:

Predator
10-07-2009, 06:18 PM
It's rediculous to steretype based on a handful of people you've met, never mind one. I could say that Scotland is a nation of retarded troglodytes but then I've met enough nice Scots to say otherwise. Saying it's mostly a land of ignorant retards might be closer to the truth. There's a difference there. Same thing goes for Americans, I could call them a nation of blood thirsty, gullible twats, but it's closer to the truth to say it's just the vast majority of them.

Just having a laugh, I didn't mean it with the mostly's... except in the case of Scotland, which is entirely a nation of fucking retards.

Kristy
10-07-2009, 06:26 PM
London is patently not the filthiest city on the planet, you can't get out that much if you think that.

Yes it is.

As for the rest of your rhetoric. You feel offend by proxy?

Good.

Predator
10-07-2009, 06:36 PM
London is obviously not as bad as many third world cities.

London also isn't as depressing as your average Scottish city. Still, 2nd richest country in the world, control of the world financial system, freemasonic rule of the world including the US, arm twisting of the third world for gain and this is the best they can do. A pity... a pity... Ofcourse Scotland is going to be worse than England when basically pilfering scraps off their table.

Kristy
10-07-2009, 06:49 PM
Still, 2nd richest country in the world, control of the world financial system, freemasonic rule of the world including the US, arm twisting of the third world for gain and this is the best they can do.

Well said. The place still sucks.

Dan
10-07-2009, 07:08 PM
Alot Of Kiwi's Go To London For Their OE.:D

Nickdfresh
10-07-2009, 11:26 PM
London is obviously not as bad as many third world cities.

London also isn't as depressing as your average Scottish city. Still, 2nd richest country in the world, control of the world financial system, freemasonic rule of the world including the US, arm twisting of the third world for gain and this is the best they can do. A pity... a pity... Ofcourse Scotland is going to be worse than England when basically pilfering scraps off their table.

A.) How's the average Scottish city compare to Calcutta? :)

B.) If you hate the UK Freemasons so much, then why not go the fuck back to India and work at a Radio Shack&#174; call center or something? It would certainly give you more purpose in life than does registering at sites that have banned you for being a pedophile who thinks he should be able to date rape kids younger than 16...

binnie
10-08-2009, 02:25 AM
It's not a question masculinity, it's more of arrogance and unattractiveness. I dated an limey for 8 months and not only was he terrible in bed, he hardly bathed himself, shaved, or yes, cue the stereotype, brushed his god damned teeth. All major turn offs contrary to the fact of what his ego was telling him. Never have I cared for the English since. Even been to the UK and found the place to be one infested shithole; London has to be the filthiest city on the planet with the most ugliest horse-faced men hitting on you because they have this fucked-up notion that all America girls just lurv a limey accent. To be honest, that Cockney garble makes me cringe. But I guess that goes hand in hand with their bad breath.

As for Hugh Grant I don't find him to be at all good looking or even a enjoyable watch at his feeble attempts of making "chick flicks" for the perpetually desperate.

Sorry to hear that - sounds like an asshole.

I certainly wasn't suggesting that Hugh Grant was attractive, just that he almost the stereoptypical Englishman that appears in films.

I agree with you about London, it is flilthy (although, having been to St. Louis, I'm not sure which is worse.) You'd never want for something to do, but the place is so expensive you'd probably never have the money to do it. Whenever I have to go there to research, I'm always glad to leave.

The North of England is much more friendly (well, until prodded.) It's also generally more picturesque. Oh, and there's no 'cockney garble' - but the accents up here have problems all their own (the students who come to my University from the US always have problems understanding me for the first couple of weeks...)

binnie
10-08-2009, 02:26 AM
Alot Of Kiwi's Go To London For Their OE.:D

And end up working in bars........

Anonymous
10-09-2009, 12:31 PM
I don't mean to be rude and I am inherently not built to stick up for the English but everyone that reads that post is going to think 8 months so
a) You have low self esteem
b) He was rich and you are into that
c) He had a great personality? :)

Hey, no kiddin'. 8 months, Kristy????? And he wasn't even good in bed????????

I seriously don't want to know, I'm just expressing my profound astonishment...

Wow.

Cheers! :bottle: