"I hate the news!" thread

[BITEYOASS]

God damnit I'm so sick and fuck and tired of the news altogether! Unless a natural disaster occurs, the weekly sports scores are displayed or the korean war resumes, then I don't give a fuck about hearing it!

Plus I've come to my own political conclusions and don't need some news report from some professional bullshit artist to sway me otherwise.

[Sensible Shoes]

Here here.

[Nitro Express]

Unless I get to fuck one of those cute news bimbos I don't want anything to do with it.

[Sensible Shoes]

News bimbos are hard to fuck. Their standards are pretty unrealistic.

[Nitro Express]

Since I'm not the news director of a major network, that tail isn't coming to me. I bet those guys get more ass than a toilet seat. Those women are put on the tube because of their looks, not their skills. As soon as ugly newswomen come back we know the game.

[Dr. Love]

News bimbos are hard to fuck. Their standards are pretty unrealistic.

Must unlock a pretty sweet achievement if you do it, then.

[Sensible Shoes]

Since I'm not the news director of a major network, that tail isn't coming to me. I bet those guys get more ass than a toilet seat. Those women are put on the tube because of their looks, not their skills. As soon as ugly newswomen come back we know the game.

Oh you don't need to be a ND at a major Network - any ND position in any podunk town will do it for you. There are a FEW ugly newswomen around but that's usually because they have steel cahones and go after criminals and corruption like a pihrana. (sp) I loved them. The pretty girls are either so young and innocent that they get taken advantage of, or so starstruck that they will resort to any behavior to get on TV. Powerful drug, TV.

[Coyote]

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[Shaun Ponsonby]

The news wouldn't bother me if it actually WAS the news...ie-THE FACTS and not trying to sway you in a particular direction opinionwise ("Watch Fox News and be conervative OR ELSE") ...or spending the first 40 minutes of an hour long broadcast talking about some reality TV celeb-u-tard who has cancer ("I wasn't happy about Jade Goody dying of cancer, but I didn't want to read about it everyday either")...or focusing on the "sob story" side of the news where the anchors become glorified, if unqualified, shrinks by repeating the phrase "how does that make you feel?" over and over again (what do they are? Reality TV?)...or vox popping members of the public (whose opinions I don't give a flying fuck about)...or making the fact that Arseface United Football Club have blown the entire economy by spending &#163;270 trillion on a player from Genital Warts Rovers Football Club, so as he can randomly kick a ball around a stadium like little fucking kids do in parks on Saturday afternoons for free (SPORTS NEWS ISN'T FUCKING NEWS)...

...or if ignorant, arrogant, thick, self-centred fuckfaces like Bill O' Reily were tortured on screen (you know, its virtually impossible to sue him because he's such a pathological liar that its impossible to prove that he knows he is lying...true story-he's like a cunt, wrapped in a twat, wrapped in a redneck, wrapped in arrogance, wrapped in a wanker, wrapped in a biggot and shat all over by someone who had had cunts, twats, rednecks, arrogance, wankers and a side order of bigot for lunch)

...etc...

Search Youtube for "Charlie Brooker's Newswipe" and find yourself laughing your arse off at the ridiculousness, hypocricies and out & out lies of the news...

[Sensible Shoes]

The news wouldn't bother me if it actually WAS the news...ie-THE FACTS and not trying to sway you in a particular direction opinionwise ..


Those days are long gone at any level of television - from Peoria to NYC.

[Shaun Ponsonby]

^^^

Not just TV.

My only exposure to American newspapers is Season 5 of The Wire, but I imagine its not much different than the UK.

For example, the Daily Mail blame everything on immigrants and relate everything to Princess Diana. I'm surprised they haven't tried to expose immigrants as the reason Princess Diana died (they'd shit themselves if they found out that was true...they'd probably masturbate all over the first editions that morning and give their leakage out as a free gift).