Since I don't have a blog I think I'll rant here instead.
I've worked myself up into a bit of annoyance about a movie I haven't even seen like a fundie christian objecting to Life of Brian but fuck the hypocrisy I want to appeal to people to boycott this shitty 2012 movie.
In this time of credit crunch and recession I want to give 3 good reasons why you shouldn't go to this movie.
Treating the audience like retards
So we have a disaster film and it has the following characters. The first problem with this movie is the incredible offensive bullshit of the script. Now as I said I haven't seen it but I want you to take a quick quiz about the characters and let's see how well we do when someone goes to it and reports back.
There are 5 principles in this movie
a) Our hero an unsuccessful author who has family problems
b) His wife and kids
c) A dog
d) An evil millionaire Russian oligarch
e) The evil millionaire Russian oligarch 2 spoiled brat kids
Without seeing the movie I want you to ponder the following questions and see if we get them correct.
i) Will our author end up making up with his wife and kids, become more successful and learn his lesson?
ii) Although this is a movie where the whole fucking world starts blowing up will his kids survive ok?
iii) Will the dog be put in a perilous situation but survive ok?
iv) Will the evil Russian get completely killed?
v) Will his spoiled kids survive(kids almost never die in movies) but learn their lesson?
Could the first person to sit through this 2 hours and 40 minutes of computer graphic death of cinema please let us know the answers to these crazy guesses I'm making here.
Accountants Writing our movies
At a time when we are told that Hollywood is really struggling, not in the same way as the engineer in Detroit of course but in a way whereby no films that aren't geared to teenage kids are getting made, they have spent $250 million on this perhaps sack of shit. You have to wonder why bring out a film called 2012 in 2009. Ok you have the Mayan angle but they could have release it in 2011 or 2012. Van Halen didn't bring out 1984 in 1981!
Why is this?
Because to recover the $500 million they are looking for from their investment they need to get your money from the cinemas in 2009, then the DVD in 2010, then on cable TV in 2011 and then from the directors cut in 2012.
Upsetting the stupid
They are using the now old meme Blair Witch Project trick of pretending there is something in this Mayan calender bullshit in order as a marketing tool. This is causing worry and misery among stupid people and children which is kind of wrong. Enough of the anti science bullshit.
LETS ALL BOYCOTT THIS SHIT!
FUCK THIS I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!
The event movie thing started in a good way with Jaws but now it's got to the point where it's like there is almost something wrong with you if you refuse to engage in the latest Hollywood event.
For the price of this shit they could have made 5 or 6 decent films. Be brave and say no I'm not going to this crap.
I've worked myself up into a bit of annoyance about a movie I haven't even seen like a fundie christian objecting to Life of Brian but fuck the hypocrisy I want to appeal to people to boycott this shitty 2012 movie.
In this time of credit crunch and recession I want to give 3 good reasons why you shouldn't go to this movie.
Treating the audience like retards
So we have a disaster film and it has the following characters. The first problem with this movie is the incredible offensive bullshit of the script. Now as I said I haven't seen it but I want you to take a quick quiz about the characters and let's see how well we do when someone goes to it and reports back.
There are 5 principles in this movie
a) Our hero an unsuccessful author who has family problems
b) His wife and kids
c) A dog
d) An evil millionaire Russian oligarch
e) The evil millionaire Russian oligarch 2 spoiled brat kids
Without seeing the movie I want you to ponder the following questions and see if we get them correct.
i) Will our author end up making up with his wife and kids, become more successful and learn his lesson?
ii) Although this is a movie where the whole fucking world starts blowing up will his kids survive ok?
iii) Will the dog be put in a perilous situation but survive ok?
iv) Will the evil Russian get completely killed?
v) Will his spoiled kids survive(kids almost never die in movies) but learn their lesson?
Could the first person to sit through this 2 hours and 40 minutes of computer graphic death of cinema please let us know the answers to these crazy guesses I'm making here.
Accountants Writing our movies
At a time when we are told that Hollywood is really struggling, not in the same way as the engineer in Detroit of course but in a way whereby no films that aren't geared to teenage kids are getting made, they have spent $250 million on this perhaps sack of shit. You have to wonder why bring out a film called 2012 in 2009. Ok you have the Mayan angle but they could have release it in 2011 or 2012. Van Halen didn't bring out 1984 in 1981!
Why is this?
Because to recover the $500 million they are looking for from their investment they need to get your money from the cinemas in 2009, then the DVD in 2010, then on cable TV in 2011 and then from the directors cut in 2012.
Upsetting the stupid
They are using the now old meme Blair Witch Project trick of pretending there is something in this Mayan calender bullshit in order as a marketing tool. This is causing worry and misery among stupid people and children which is kind of wrong. Enough of the anti science bullshit.
LETS ALL BOYCOTT THIS SHIT!
FUCK THIS I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!
The event movie thing started in a good way with Jaws but now it's got to the point where it's like there is almost something wrong with you if you refuse to engage in the latest Hollywood event.
For the price of this shit they could have made 5 or 6 decent films. Be brave and say no I'm not going to this crap.
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