Unofficial Roth Army Boycot Shitty Movie Appeal

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  • Seshmeister
    ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

    • Oct 2003
    • 35766

    Unofficial Roth Army Boycot Shitty Movie Appeal

    Since I don't have a blog I think I'll rant here instead.

    I've worked myself up into a bit of annoyance about a movie I haven't even seen like a fundie christian objecting to Life of Brian but fuck the hypocrisy I want to appeal to people to boycott this shitty 2012 movie.

    In this time of credit crunch and recession I want to give 3 good reasons why you shouldn't go to this movie.


    Treating the audience like retards

    So we have a disaster film and it has the following characters. The first problem with this movie is the incredible offensive bullshit of the script. Now as I said I haven't seen it but I want you to take a quick quiz about the characters and let's see how well we do when someone goes to it and reports back.

    There are 5 principles in this movie

    a) Our hero an unsuccessful author who has family problems
    b) His wife and kids
    c) A dog
    d) An evil millionaire Russian oligarch
    e) The evil millionaire Russian oligarch 2 spoiled brat kids

    Without seeing the movie I want you to ponder the following questions and see if we get them correct.

    i) Will our author end up making up with his wife and kids, become more successful and learn his lesson?

    ii) Although this is a movie where the whole fucking world starts blowing up will his kids survive ok?

    iii) Will the dog be put in a perilous situation but survive ok?

    iv) Will the evil Russian get completely killed?

    v) Will his spoiled kids survive(kids almost never die in movies) but learn their lesson?

    Could the first person to sit through this 2 hours and 40 minutes of computer graphic death of cinema please let us know the answers to these crazy guesses I'm making here.

    Accountants Writing our movies

    At a time when we are told that Hollywood is really struggling, not in the same way as the engineer in Detroit of course but in a way whereby no films that aren't geared to teenage kids are getting made, they have spent $250 million on this perhaps sack of shit. You have to wonder why bring out a film called 2012 in 2009. Ok you have the Mayan angle but they could have release it in 2011 or 2012. Van Halen didn't bring out 1984 in 1981!

    Why is this?

    Because to recover the $500 million they are looking for from their investment they need to get your money from the cinemas in 2009, then the DVD in 2010, then on cable TV in 2011 and then from the directors cut in 2012.

    Upsetting the stupid

    They are using the now old meme Blair Witch Project trick of pretending there is something in this Mayan calender bullshit in order as a marketing tool. This is causing worry and misery among stupid people and children which is kind of wrong. Enough of the anti science bullshit.

    LETS ALL BOYCOTT THIS SHIT!

    FUCK THIS I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!

    The event movie thing started in a good way with Jaws but now it's got to the point where it's like there is almost something wrong with you if you refuse to engage in the latest Hollywood event.

    For the price of this shit they could have made 5 or 6 decent films. Be brave and say no I'm not going to this crap.
  • Little Texan
    Full Member Status

    • Jan 2004
    • 4579

    #2
    I thought it looked like an incredibly dumb movie the first time I seen the trailer. It's another one of those Hollywood special effects extravaganzas with no actual plot.

    Comment

    • Terry
      DIAMOND STATUS
      • Jan 2004
      • 12143

      #3
      The flick trailers looked kind of boring, actually. A bunch of CGI that didn't look all that stunning (or realistic) when I saw the trailer in the theater. Tying it into the 2012 hysteria is just lame.

      If I wanna watch a disaster movie, I'll stick to flicks from the 1970s. Armageddon, Deep Impact, The Day After Tomorrow and the Poseidon Adventure remake all sucked balls. from what I've seen, there's no reason to think this won't as well.
      Scramby eggs and bacon.

      Comment

      • FORD
        ROTH ARMY MODERATOR

        • Jan 2004
        • 59657

        #4
        If some shitty camcorder bootleg turns up online this weekend, I might watch it for shits and giggles, but I wouldn't pay to see it.
        Eat Us And Smile

        Cenk For America 2024!!

        Justice Democrats


        "If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992

        Comment

        • GAR
          Banned
          • Jan 2004
          • 10881

          #5
          amen, sesh

          Comment

          • Coyote
            ROTH ARMY SUPREME
            • Jan 2004
            • 8185

            #6
            Kinda lost interest in movies after the latest Star Trek.

            Too much CGI, not to mention the handheld camera jitter during action scenes...
            Why settle for something you have, if it's not as good as something you're out to get?

            Originally posted by Seshmeister
            It's like putting up a YouTube of Bach and playing Chopstix on your Bontempi...

            Comment

            • ZahZoo
              ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

              • Jan 2004
              • 9178

              #7
              Originally posted by Seshmeister
              The event movie thing started in a good way with Jaws but now it's got to the point where it's like there is almost something wrong with you if you refuse to engage in the latest Hollywood event.

              For the price of this shit they could have made 5 or 6 decent films. Be brave and say no I'm not going to this crap.
              Hmmm... I thought the whole event movie thing started with the 1933 King Kong Movie. Then really took shape from the 1938 radio broadcast of War of the Worlds.

              You're showing your youth Sesh... Jaws?? How about 1968's 2001: A Space Oddity..?

              I get your point on the scientific, mystical Mayan calendar bullshit. But to me it's about as harmless as ancient Egyptian pharaohs and the Divinci Code crap...

              Don't get too stuffy on the intelectual angle... that's for quirky independant films. Remember there's the entertainment elements and we all still like to see cool shit blown up to hell... even if it is all silly...

              I doubt I'll go see this in the theater... looks better suited as a DVD rental on a lazy Sunday winter afternoon, nursing one hell of Saturday nite hangover!!
              "If you want to be a monk... you gotta cook a lot of rice...”

              Comment

              • ELVIS
                Banned
                • Dec 2003
                • 44120

                #8
                <object width="660" height="405"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Hz86TsGx3fc&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x402061&co lor2=0x9461ca&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Hz86TsGx3fc&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x402061&co lor2=0x9461ca&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="660" height="405"></embed></object>

                my thoughts are that most of us internet geeks have looked somewhat deeply into the Mayan calender stuff, and it is interesting. But this type of fear mongering movie lends itself to Project Blue Beam type crap...

                I wonder how much "stimulus" money went into making this garbage ??

                I'd never wach such blasphemy...


                Comment

                • Golden AWe
                  DIAMOND STATUS
                  • Jan 2004
                  • 34245

                  #9
                  I noticed it's forbidden from everyone under 13!

                  Funny to see Bruce Lee movies are K-18 here...:D
                  Originally posted by Cato
                  Golden, why are you FAT?
                  Originally posted by lesfunk
                  Much like yourself as the Jim Morrison of Nazi bunker flies
                  http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u...TheDMCross.jpg

                  Comment

                  • Terry
                    DIAMOND STATUS
                    • Jan 2004
                    • 12143

                    #10
                    Originally posted by ZahZoo
                    Hmmm... I thought the whole event movie thing started with the 1933 King Kong Movie. Then really took shape from the 1938 radio broadcast of War of the Worlds.

                    You're showing your youth Sesh... Jaws?? How about 1968's 2001: A Space Oddity..?

                    I get your point on the scientific, mystical Mayan calendar bullshit. But to me it's about as harmless as ancient Egyptian pharaohs and the Divinci Code crap...

                    Don't get too stuffy on the intelectual angle... that's for quirky independant films. Remember there's the entertainment elements and we all still like to see cool shit blown up to hell... even if it is all silly...

                    I doubt I'll go see this in the theater... looks better suited as a DVD rental on a lazy Sunday winter afternoon, nursing one hell of Saturday nite hangover!!
                    There have been times in the past where I wondered if I were missing out on something when failing to see the latest "blockbuster" that everyone else blathers about being a "must see" movie.

                    However, after being convinced by several people to go see Paul Blart:Mall Cop (I figured what the hell...the movie had already grossed about 130 million in domestic US box office and had been #1 for a few weeks), I now realize that millions of people CAN be wrong. Am thinking about 2012 along the same lines as all those animated "movies that are funny for kids but have clever dialogue that (slightly retarded) adults will enjoy too!"

                    Since one can already tell that 2012 is a film that, due to the special effects, is only gonna have any impact if seen in a movie theater, I'm probably not gonna bother with even renting it for home viewing. Checked out titles of some of the other films the 2012 director has done, some of which I'd seen and wasn't too enthused about.

                    However, I AM looking forward to renting Jennifer's Body when it is released on home video next month and having a nice wank. Unlike the end result of seeing 2012 in the movie theater, at the end of viewing Jennifer's Body I'll have something to show for my time and effort (even if it is a bit sticky - at least it won't be from buttered popcorn).
                    Scramby eggs and bacon.

                    Comment

                    • VanHalenFan5150
                      Sniper
                      • Oct 2009
                      • 960

                      #11
                      I myself thought of the whole thing as downright stupid. Honestly... 2012? Come on, they can do better. I'd much rather have seen that movie get spent on Halo or Jurassic Park for then some $250 million shitfest.

                      First: 2012 is an amusing concept nonetheless, but it's been overrated and overused. They ought to stop, since science has proved there is no significance between the earth and the Mayan Calendar ending in 2012

                      Second: A 2012 movie... in 2009. I Lol'd so hard.

                      Third: I have no third point, the movie's gay enough.

                      Watch out Gar, you've got some competition...
                      Reading Crazy From the Heat in four hours flat, in a cramped RV, on the return trip of a 3,000+ mile family outing to New Jersey is an enlightening experience you'll never forget.

                      Comment

                      • hideyoursheep
                        ROTH ARMY ELITE
                        • Jan 2007
                        • 6351

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Coyote
                        Kinda lost interest in movies after -
                        Hollywood started recycling old TV shows onto the big screen. Not a stab at Star Trek, it's a stab at EVERYTHING.

                        Comment

                        • binnie
                          DIAMOND STATUS
                          • May 2006
                          • 19145

                          #13
                          The sad thing is that there are lots of great films being made, they just don't get the big studio promotion. You have to hunt them out in niche theatres, and no, not those kind of 'niche' theatres :D
                          The Power Of The Riff Compels Me

                          Comment

                          • Seshmeister
                            ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

                            • Oct 2003
                            • 35766

                            #14
                            We used to rehearse above one of those places.

                            The manager used to come up to complain about the noise.

                            "My customers can't hear themselves wank downstairs..."

                            Comment

                            • Seshmeister
                              ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

                              • Oct 2003
                              • 35766

                              #15
                              Originally posted by ZahZoo
                              Hmmm... I thought the whole event movie thing started with the 1933 King Kong Movie. Then really took shape from the 1938 radio broadcast of War of the Worlds.

                              You're showing your youth Sesh... Jaws?? How about 1968's 2001: A Space Oddity..?
                              Not really - Jaws invented the huge marketing budgets and opening in thousands of screens all at once.

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                              The Summer Blockbuster
                              How Jaws and Star Wars Changed the World of Film Forever!

                              &#169; Michael Peters

                              Jan 31, 2008

                              The Summer Blockbuster changed Hollywood. Studios had regained control of the system and once again the film world evolved into something other than an art-form.

                              There are many reasons for the failure of the 1970s art film. However, none may be as viable as the emergence of the summer blockbuster. Prior to 1975, films were released at different times of the year with no specific time line in place to guarantee a success (maybe Christmas time?). This all changed however when Jaws (1975), directed by Steven Spielberg, arrived in theatres on June 20. Audiences flocked to this film and lined up around the block for hours on end, all to witness the carnage perpetrated by a shark. The film was a major success and made the studios more money then they could have ever imagined. As a result, the art film was all but finished. It was now time for the popcorn era to begin.

                              Though Jaws was a major success, there was still no guarantee that the summer was the perfect time to release high concept films (little story, lots of action). That is, until Star Wars, written and directed by George Lucas, was released on May 25, 1977. The film became an unprecedented success and soon became the highest grossing film of all time (this is no longer true). The studios and George Lucas himself never had complete faith in the film and were all the more surprised by the reaction of audiences around the globe.

                              Prior to its success, the studios had made a deal with Lucas. They would receive a hefty portion of the profits for the film and in return, Lucas wanted Star Wars produced by his own company, insisted on the music rights and profits from sales of the soundtrack, sequel rights and lastly, merchandising rights. The studios believed that Lucas was out of his mind, especially with this final request. They had a right to feel this way though. Up until this point, merchandise such as shirts, action figures and so on had never been a successful enterprise in the past. So, they agreed to these terms and gave him full rights to any profits garnered from the merchandise. What happened afterwards changed the way cinema and films would forever be marketed.

                              The tremendous success of Star Wars brought about a new day in film. Films no longer had to be a success in order to gain a profit. Merchandise and soundtracks could now be seen as possible revenue income. Lucas had made so much money with the merchandise of Star Wars that it proved to the studios that they could exploit this success from now on.

                              Studios also began to realize that there was no money to be truly made of art house films any longer. The artists who had been in control for the past decade had become egomaniacs and their desires were becoming increasingly inflated as a result. Their successes went to their heads and their visions became morbidly obese. Films were costing more to produce and were not making the profits they had once garnered.

                              As well, times were changing. There was, once again, optimism in the air. Society no longer wanted to be bombarded with character driven stories. They wanted to be entertained once again. The success of Jaws and Star Wars was perhaps not the final nail in the coffin on the art house era but it was more than likely the most important.

                              Since the late 70s, films have desired to entertain, especially in the summer. They have stripped their art house attire and have become ‘dumbed-down’ escapist filled entertainment (with a tremendous amount of merchandise to boot). Computer generated graphics have risen to such a degree in the past few years that they have become the key character in some films. The truth of the matter is, is that some people would rather be entertained then to be taught. There are still films that strive to teach but these are few and far between in the world of entertainment. To some, the summer is the greatest time for movies. For others, it is a definitely an example of all that is wrong with Hollywood.

                              Read more: http://filmtvindustry.suite101.com/a...#ixzz0X2S3QpIA
                              Last edited by Seshmeister; 11-16-2009, 11:59 AM.

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