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Dr. Love
11-20-2009, 10:25 PM
Santa Claus (loadedsanta) on Twitter (http://twitter.com/loadedsanta)

loadedsanta

1. Leaving carrots for my reindeer is real smart kids. The only thing that was missing from reindeer shit was fucking carrots. about 6 hours ago from web
2. Hey Billy from Idaho, your letter says you want a PS3. Santa just changed it to "novelty calculator from Staples" 12:27 PM Nov 19th from API
3. Johnny from Kansas wants an XBOX. Aw! You deserve it after all the shitting-your-pants you've accomplished this year. 12:44 PM Nov 17th from API
4. Don't worry people. Don't worry. Like I'm *not* going to shit in Kanye's stocking. 8:08 PM Nov 16th from API
5. Who said I loved every place on Earth? Have you been to south Cleveland? Fuck that shit. 12:33 PM Nov 16th from API
6. "You better watch out, you better not cry." What is that, a rape anthem? Fucking carols man. 10:39 AM Nov 15th from API
7. North Pole is full of boring-ass shit. Oh yeah. The elves can make "toys of wonder" but can't build a couple titty-bars? Bitches. 10:19 AM Nov 14th from web
8. Sarah, you've been good all year. Good job! Too bad your dad's an alcoholic and your mom's mentally checked out. Chinese-made Barbie again! 10:38 AM Nov 13th from API
9. Hey, what gets scotch out of a beard? And weed out of a reindeer's ass? It's not for me. 10:07 AM Nov 12th from API
10. I'm not "jolly". I'm in the most high-risk group for gastroesophageal reflux disease. Try being jolly when you can taste your fucking spleen 10:38 AM Nov 11th from API
11. Oh, Santa's Little Helpers want to unionize? It's beginning to look a lot like I hired a bunch of commie fucks. 10:17 AM Nov 10th from API
12. Hey Timmy from Utah. Your parents are unemployed. Let's change "iPod" to "shitty $10 mp3 player you can buy at a gas station" 10:18 AM Nov 9th from web
13. I like how everyone thinks Rudolph did shit. Fact. Rudolph is an oh-look-at-me-I-have-a-red-nose diva fuck. 3:42 PM Nov 8th from API
14. Elf chicks are four apples high. There's no amount of alcohol that makes four-apples-high hot. 8:28 AM Nov 7th from web
15. Hey Jimmy, tell your broke-ass dad those cookies you left last year tasted like shit. Get a job, Jimmy's dad. Invest in fucking oreos. 6:20 PM Nov 6th from web
16. It's Friday night and Santa's drunk. Let's punt some elves. 3:43 PM Nov 6th from API
17. Guess who's totally not getting laid tonight because his wife's totally being a bitch? Rhymes with Manta Blaws. 7:17 PM Oct 10th from web
18. I'm trying to get this obesity shit together because you know what doesn't squeeze down a chimney well? Type 2 diabetes. 9:02 PM Oct 9th from web
19. I like how we're still talking about Halloween like that shit's important. 8:59 PM Oct 9th from web
20. I'm making a list and checking it twice. Ha! Fuck that. Drinking and playing it by ear. 10:28 PM Oct 6th from web

Ally_Kat
11-22-2009, 04:41 PM
and following.

Santa's pretty much on the mark with south Cleveland.