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Sensible Shoes
11-24-2009, 09:53 PM
I just can't believe myself. In spite of a few futile attempts at this nonsense in the past, I joined a dating site last night.

Within 3 hours, I had 35 emails from various freaks and weirdos - one of whom's profiles actually stated one of his favorite bands was Sammy Hagar era Montrose.

After I vomited, I took down the profile. Have to rethink this. I am clearly delusional

VanHalenFan5150
11-24-2009, 10:04 PM
I am clearly delusional

Or drunk... :biggrin:

VanHalener
11-24-2009, 10:05 PM
If I was single and not hung like a baby spider I'd go out with you. ;)

Sensible Shoes
11-24-2009, 10:05 PM
You know, I didn't have a drop. That is even more disturbing. Although TONIGHT, the whole experience made me down a few.

Sensible Shoes
11-24-2009, 10:06 PM
If I was single and not hung like a baby spider I'd go out with you. ;)

Thank you - it's the thought that counts!

Anonymous
11-24-2009, 10:09 PM
I just can't believe myself. In spite of a few futile attempts at this nonsense in the past, I joined a dating site last night.

Within 3 hours, I had 35 emails from various freaks and weirdos - one of whom's profiles actually stated one of his favorite bands was Sammy Hagar era Montrose.

After I vomited, I took down the profile. Have to rethink this. I am clearly delusional

Hope you learned your lesson.

Dating & flirting on the internets is one thing, but joining dating sites is another thing entirely.

Seriously, who'd'you think would join those sites? Hunks? People with great social lives? People?

The farther I went down that road was join a social network site. Because I was bored. And I never use it anymore.

Cheers! :bottle:

VanHalenFan5150
11-24-2009, 10:10 PM
I've got Myspace... I don't get creeps on there.

Anonymous
11-24-2009, 10:14 PM
I've got Myspace... I don't get creeps on there.

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!

Cheers! :bottle:

VanHalenFan5150
11-24-2009, 10:19 PM
Four hundred and twenty six fucking friends... And none of them are creepy. I know most all of them personally, too....

Anonymous
11-24-2009, 10:28 PM
Hey, I'm not saying you've added creeps... but saying that MySpace doesn't have creeps is like saying the internets have no pedophiles.

As long as you only add the people you know, you're quite safe.

I too know all the people I've added on my social network... and none of them are creeps (at least to me).

But even in the Army we get creeps.

Just watch your back, kid... the internets are fucked up, these days.

Cheers! :bottle:

VanHalenFan5150
11-24-2009, 10:30 PM
Nukier periferation has messed up teh interwebz.

Dr. Love
11-24-2009, 10:32 PM
Good call, 3 hours was a good sampling size for a decision. ;)

What you should do with your online dating profile is let us here at the Army help you fill it out and let us screen the responders.

This is the prescription for love from the Doctor of Love.

Sucker of Satan's Penis
11-24-2009, 10:35 PM
Upon the requisite emails responded, My Greatness (selah - all praise and glory be under MOI) met with this one plumpy, huge-titted Believer chick at the Bob's Big Boy in Toluca Lake.

I liked the darkness of her skin.
I licked the darkness of her German Chocolate Cake she ordered.

I did NOT like that she pushed the cake to me for disposal and walked out on her half of the check after my observation of how much she appeared to enjoy cake.

Anonymous
11-24-2009, 10:46 PM
Hey, speaking of creepy people...

Hello, Gar.

Cheers! :bottle:

Sensible Shoes
11-24-2009, 11:53 PM
Good call, 3 hours was a good sampling size for a decision. ;)

What you should do with your online dating profile is let us here at the Army help you fill it out and let us screen the responders.

This is the prescription for love from the Doctor of Love.

Well Dr. Love, you do always know best.

Oh I'd love to see what you guys would come up with for this. And better yet, screen the responders.

Did you know that every man over the age of 40 owns a motorcycle? EVERY LAST ONE!!!!

standin
11-25-2009, 12:41 AM
Good call, 3 hours was a good sampling size for a decision. ;)

What you should do with your online dating profile is let us here at the Army help you fill it out and let us screen the responders.

This is the prescription for love from the Doctor of Love.

Aww, hell that is a good idea......:D

Hardrock69
11-25-2009, 01:15 AM
You could not ask for more rabid screeners than those found here, lol.


Kinda like standing over the prospective date with an axe, a shotgun, or some other serious looking farm implement while asking them "You are going to have her home when?"

:biggrin:

standin
11-25-2009, 01:20 AM
:D
http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/non-vh-dlr-related-stuff/57138-dr-loves-prescription.html

Golden AWe
11-25-2009, 01:55 AM
Seriously, who'd'you think would join those sites? Hunks? People with great social lives? People?

Nowadays there's some grate looking chicks (like Shoes) in the dating sites...at least in Finland Funland! Met some, got some a few years ago...and not all of them were freaks!

As long as you only answer contacts with photos...and photos not dated 4 years and 20 kilos ago...not that big people cun't be fun...

twonabomber
11-25-2009, 06:50 AM
Did you know that every man over the age of 40 owns a motorcycle? EVERY LAST ONE!!!!

we do?

VanHalenFan5150
11-25-2009, 08:23 AM
, screen the responders.

Did you know that every man over the age of 40 owns a motorcycle? EVERY LAST ONE!!!!

Not my dad, he simply owns an offshore fishing yacht. :biggrin:

PETE'S BROTHER
11-27-2009, 12:22 PM
we do?

i do:usfl:

Sensible Shoes
11-27-2009, 04:47 PM
Twona you're not really forty yet.

Sensible Shoes
11-27-2009, 04:48 PM
Not my dad, he simply owns an offshore fishing yacht. :biggrin:

Does he like long walks on the beach under the stars?????:barf:

Sensible Shoes
11-27-2009, 04:56 PM
OK so I decided to leave this profile up - but I wrote that I was unemployed, horribly depressed, not looking for anything longterm unless Mr. Perfect came along, would NEVER get married again, and that I have four dogs that would jump on them and cover them with fur. And Mud. And they sleep on the bed.

Which is all true.

Also said I was pretty much gone every weekend at dogshows. Also true. Should also have added that nobody's allowed to speak Spammy's name in my presence.

Not ONE response. See what happens when you tell the truth????

Dr. Love
11-27-2009, 04:58 PM
You should tell them you're a Head Fluffer in the Roth Army.

Sensible Shoes
11-27-2009, 05:03 PM
And that I got fat!!!!!

Igosplut
11-27-2009, 05:30 PM
.

Did you know that every man over the age of 40 owns a motorcycle? EVERY LAST ONE!!!!

I hate that comparison.......

Sensible Shoes
11-27-2009, 05:35 PM
Not like yours. These are the things that are closer to tricycles with cupholders and cargo holds. Perhaps there's a different and more descriptive name for them.

Igosplut
11-27-2009, 05:43 PM
HERE'S (http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/1357026-post60.html) the newest one...If you call 1957 new....

Sensible Shoes
11-27-2009, 05:48 PM
HERE'S (http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/1357026-post60.html) the newest one...If you call 1957 new....

Vintage babe, vintage.

twonabomber
11-27-2009, 08:47 PM
Twona you're not really forty yet.

i'm not?

Seshmeister
11-27-2009, 09:16 PM
And that I got fat!!!!!

At your age it's a balancing act.

You need to be a little fat or your face will get all scary.

Guys are so lucky the way we all turn into interesting Sean Connery types at this point.

Hey I don't make the rules... :)

Sensible Shoes
11-28-2009, 08:55 AM
At your age it's a balancing act.

You need to be a little fat or your face will get all scary.

Guys are so lucky the way we all turn into interesting Sean Connery types at this point.

Hey I don't make the rules... :)

Is that why Joan Rivers et al look like very tight corpses? I know that the facelift thing does that over time, but I guess if you do it on a woman who's anorexic to begin with, it's going to harden features.

And you ALL don't turn into Sean Connery types. You just have the accent. As for the appearance, TRUST me, there is some scary shit out there.

Anonymous
11-28-2009, 12:02 PM
Nowadays there's some grate looking chicks (like Shoes) in the dating sites...at least in Finland Funland! Met some, got some a few years ago...and not all of them were freaks!

As long as you only answer contacts with photos...and photos not dated 4 years and 20 kilos ago...not that big people cun't be fun...

Dude, you're on dating sites.

You're just proving my point that there's only creepy people on those.

Ha! :tongue0011:

Cheers! :bottle:

Sensible Shoes
11-29-2009, 08:43 AM
Well darlin' here's the problem. A. There are no people around here to simply go and meet in the "real world" ANd those that are here are pretty fuckin' scary and creepy too.

B. I have, in the past, done some successful dating from internet sites. The problem is that everybody was newly divorced and therefore, walking wounded. Nobody was ready. Not just not ready for marriage, just not ready to not be freaked out and not over-react to any thing that felt wrong.

C. I've met quite a few people from THIS site, and they've actually all been human, kind, and not NEAR the assholes they present themselves as. With a few notable exceptions.

D. I don't think it's right to assume hanging out HERE makes you any less creepy and weird than people who register on dating sites. Point being - the internet has become a tool for meeting people - because it works. After you arrange a meeting, you're on your own. Real is different than virtual (did you know that? says the master of the obvious) and you screen creeps and weirdos just like you do in your actual life.

Sensible Shoes
11-29-2009, 08:44 AM
I should add that I'm fairly creepy and weird myself.

thome
11-29-2009, 09:07 AM
Shoes, Sensible Well darlin' here's the problem. A. There are no people around here to simply go and meet in the "real world" ANd those that are here are pretty fuckin' scary and creepy too.

B. I have, in the past, done some successful dating from internet sites. The problem is that everybody was newly divorced and therefore, walking wounded. Nobody was ready. Not just not ready for marriage, just not ready to not be freaked out and not over-react to any thing that felt wrong.

C. I've met quite a few people from THIS site, and they've actually all been human, kind, and not NEAR the assholes they present themselves as. With a few notable exceptions.

D. I don't think it's right to assume hanging out HERE makes you any less creepy and weird than people who register on dating sites. Point being - the internet has become a tool for meeting people - because it works. After you arrange a meeting, you're on your own. Real is different than virtual (did you know that? says the master of the obvious) and you screen creeps and weirdos just like you do in your actual life.


Shoes, Sensible I should add that I'm fairly creepy and weird myself.


Sensative ,Understanding,Self Depricating with a reasonable amount of Self Worth...??...

Can you cook..?

You may be a 9.5 and don't even know it...

Igosplut
11-29-2009, 09:23 AM
I should add that I'm fairly creepy and weird myself.

Just the qualifications for living in MASS....

Anonymous
11-29-2009, 12:03 PM
Well darlin' here's the problem. A. There are no people around here to simply go and meet in the "real world" ANd those that are here are pretty fuckin' scary and creepy too.

B. I have, in the past, done some successful dating from internet sites. The problem is that everybody was newly divorced and therefore, walking wounded. Nobody was ready. Not just not ready for marriage, just not ready to not be freaked out and not over-react to any thing that felt wrong.

C. I've met quite a few people from THIS site, and they've actually all been human, kind, and not NEAR the assholes they present themselves as. With a few notable exceptions.

D. I don't think it's right to assume hanging out HERE makes you any less creepy and weird than people who register on dating sites. Point being - the internet has become a tool for meeting people - because it works. After you arrange a meeting, you're on your own. Real is different than virtual (did you know that? says the master of the obvious) and you screen creeps and weirdos just like you do in your actual life.

Well, I don't know for A & B, but as for C, I always maintained that THIS is the only forum/social site worth visiting in the entire internets.

I tried visiting a few other places but... *shudders*

Now, D. Of course some people here are gonna play the internet personas of the rich & powerful, no site will ever be free of those.

But like you said in C, and from the posts one reads around here, I guess it'd be safe to assume that this place is the nearest to a real life bar as you will ever get on the nets.

I for one, can guarantee you that I'm EXACTLY like this in real life. Notice how I never claimed this or that, only tried to be funny all the time, an asshole sometimes, and NEVER, EVER played the though guy that'll beat up the other guy 'cuz I was commando and shit.

Cheers! :bottle:

Seshmeister
11-29-2009, 01:00 PM
Is that why Joan Rivers et al look like very tight corpses? I know that the facelift thing does that over time, but I guess if you do it on a woman who's anorexic to begin with, it's going to harden features.

And you ALL don't turn into Sean Connery types. You just have the accent. As for the appearance, TRUST me, there is some scary shit out there.

Over the years I've decided that using the ;) smiley is kryptonite to funny so a lot of the time you can just assume it's in my posts even if you can't see it.